
History Buffs Share The Juicy Facts You Never Learned In School
[rebelmouse-image 18350914 is_animated_gif=For thousands of students around the world, the subject of history is a boring, groan-inducing, snoozefest. There are only so many wars and so many treaties one can learn about in exceedingly boring detail. History doesn't have to be lame, though. Think about it. Exciting, salacious, hilarious, scandalous things happen all the time. There's no reason to think things were any less gossip-worthy back then. Reddit users came together to share their knowledge when one user asked:
What X-Rated history facts don't they teach you in school?
We picked 25 facts to share with you. Clearly things got NSFW, so be warned; clicking next could lead to you needing brain bleach... or having new ideas to try out.
1. Naked Women As Sled Dogs?
[rebelmouse-image 18350915 is_animated_gif=The Roman Emperor Elagabalus as a show of power upon entering Rome to become crowned emperor he had hundreds of naked women drag his chariot down the streets of Rome
2. How's That For Classical Music?
[rebelmouse-image 18350916 is_animated_gif=Mozart was very fond of scatalogical humor. He wrote several songs about shitting on people or just shitting in general, and he also sent some really filthy letters to his sister.
3. We Would Have Paid Attention In Class For This Part
[rebelmouse-image 18350917 is_animated_gif=That one of the single biggest problems on the Lewis and Clark expedition was that they ran out of mercury after using it to treat rampant STDs (mainly syphilis). In fact, they used so much of it, that some of their campsites (they had more than 600 in the journey) have been positively identified by literally measuring the mercury in the latrines they dug nearby.
Also, that York, Clark's one slave he brought along on the trip, was SO exotic to many of the native tribes they passed, that many thought he was magical (and FAR more interesting than the two dozen white people around him). Many native women wanted to (and did) have sex with him and several chiefs apparently offered up their daughters to him for the night in hopes that he would impregnate them and leave some of his magic powers behind to bless the tribe.
4. Someone Can't Take Criticism, Jeez.
[rebelmouse-image 18350918 is_animated_gif=A first century BCE letter from a Roman poet to his critics, translated:
C*ck-sucker Aurelius and Catamite Furius, You who think, because my verses are delicate, that I am modest.
For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so.
Verses which then have taste and charm, If they are delicate and sexy, And can incite an itch, And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men who can't get their flaccid d*cks up.
You, because you have read of my thousand kisses, You think I'm a sissy?
5. Hi, Mom!
[rebelmouse-image 18350919 is_animated_gif=My understanding is that most common folk throughout much of history had very meager lodgings, and most families would sleep together both for warmth as well as the simple fact that they didn't have the space for people to sleep separately.
If mom and dad were in the mood to procreate, the rest of the family was just... there.
6. The U.S. Government Porn Star
[rebelmouse-image 18348758 is_animated_gif=The US government tried undermining Sukarno's rule over Indonesia by hiring a random Hispanic guy (who apparently looked like Sukarno) to do a porno and distributing it to the people of Indonesia. The idea was that this tape would further Sukarno's image as a lecherous womanizer and cause a negative reaction from the conservative Muslim population. Apparently Sukarno was thrilled and thought it was great (he allegedly bragged about it) and the people of Indonesia simply didn't care.
7. Oh, Nero...
[rebelmouse-image 18350920 is_animated_gif=Roman Emperor Nero had a young boy by the name of Sporus castrated and then married him. He would often appear in public with Nero wearing the customary garb for a Roman Empress. Sporus bore an uncanny resemblance to Nero's first wife who he kicked to death only a year before.
Also, After Nero died, other men took Sporus as their wife.
8. So Frankenstein Wasn't The Only Monster
[rebelmouse-image 18350921 is_animated_gif=Frankenstein author Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother's grave.
9. Good Night, Sleep Tight
[rebelmouse-image 18350922 is_animated_gif=Chambermaids to 18th century French aristocrats were expected to masturbate their male, teenage charges at bedtime, so as to coax a better nights sleep from them.
10. Turns Out, It Was Actually Like A Real Teenager's Diary
[rebelmouse-image 18350923 is_animated_gif=The Diary of Anne Frank was edited by her father because of some of the things she talked about: such as her period, discovering herself, and learning about boys from a younger guy that was staying with them too, and also her father's infatuation with fart jokes and such - which he didn't want published.
11. Opera Singers Were Awesome!
[rebelmouse-image 18350924 is_animated_gif=Julie D'Aubigny was a famous 17th century French opera singer who once took the holy vows to enter a convent just so she could have sex with a nun.
She also had a habit of seducing women at parties, which would lead their husbands to challenge her to a duel. She was an expert duelist and killed 10 men like this.
In Villeperdue, still wearing men's clothing, she was insulted by a young nobleman. They fought a duel and she drove her blade through his shoulder. The next day, she asked about his health and found out he was Louis-Joseph d'Albert Luynes, son of the Duke of Luynes. Later, one of his companions came to offer d'Albert's apologies. She went to his room and subsequently they became lovers and, later, lifelong friends.
12. Benjamin Franklin Liked The Older Ladies
[rebelmouse-image 18350925 is_animated_gif=Benjamin Franklin had a GILF fetish. He wrote a long letter to a friend advising of the benefits of taking an older woman as a mistress. His reasons included:
They are more thankful for the attention.
They are more adventurous than younger women.
They are experienced, and need not be trained.
They are less likely to betray you in favor of another man.
He was also very clear that "The face ages, but the downstairs does not."
13. He Should've Said No To This
[rebelmouse-image 18350926 is_animated_gif=Alexander Hamilton once cheated on his wife while he was in Philadelphia running the country (she was back in New York). When mistresses husband found out, he continuously blackmailed Hamilton into paying him hush money. James Monroe, the US's fifth president, saw that Hamilton was constantly making these checks out and that it was fishy, and accused him of embezzling government money (as he was the Secretary of the Treasury). To defend his honor and quell the accusations, he wrote a very raunchy confessional titled the Reynolds Pamphlet, which acknowledged his infidelity and shared several details about it.
14. Empress Wu And Her Lickable Lotus
[rebelmouse-image 18350927 is_animated_gif=Empress Wu Hu of China apparently had a tough time with sex discrimination. She saw sex and power as being closely related. So when she held court, government officials and visiting dignitaries had to pay their respects by "Licking her lotus stamen", a symbolical display of her superiority over men. She was a ruthless leader, and was known for executing many bureaucrats and relatives.
She also kept a harem of young male concubines until her death at the age of 83.
15. Armpit Sex
[rebelmouse-image 18350928 is_animated_gif=During and after the French Revolution, venereal disease was so common in Paris that people were generally unwilling to have sex with prostitutes by the usual means - but by no means stopped people from hiring prostitutes. This lead to a novel sex act becoming the most popular service provided by French whores - sticking it in her armpit. Yep. That was a thing. Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite, and Armpit sex.
16. Presidential Penis
[rebelmouse-image 18350929 is_animated_gif=Basically everything about Lyndon B. Johnson. The dude would challenge people to literal dick-measuring contests. Once, he was talking to a reporter in the Rose garden when, without breaking eye-contact with the reporter, he proceeded to whip out his presidency and take a leak onto the shoes of some poor, nameless White House staffer.
17. London's Animal And Child Brothels
[rebelmouse-image 18350930 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine studied sexual history at uni (or something to that effect I forget the official title) and told me some interesting and crazy stuff she'd find.
For example, In 19th century London, there used to be brothels that would cater to any and all "kinks" you had at the time, so as well as there being standard brothels full of men and women. Turns out Victorians were far from prudish.
18. Wonder Women. Plural. Also, Porn.
[rebelmouse-image 18350931 is_animated_gif=Wonder Woman, the comic-book super heroine and a figure of feminism and women's rights for decades, was created by psychologist William Moulton Marston as softcore bondage porn. Marston himself lived with two women, his wife Elizabeth and their lover, Olive Byrne.
19. Victor Was Truly Missed
[rebelmouse-image 18350932 is_animated_gif=Victor Hugo slept with so many prostitutes that on the day he died, all the brothels in Paris were closed, because so many of the prostitutes took the day off the mourn him.
20. Female Orgasm As Medical Treatment
[rebelmouse-image 18350933 is_animated_gif=The vibrator was invented for doctors who were getting carpel tunnel from using their fingers to give female patients orgasms in order to treat hysteria
21. Fathering Microbiology ... With Semen
[rebelmouse-image 18350934 is_animated_gif=The first thing the "Father of Microbiology," Anton van Leeuwenhoek, put under a microscope was semen. They understood that semen was integral to the creation of life but didn't yet understand the concept of single-cell organisms. He fully expected to see tiny little humans in his jizz.
So yeah, the first thing he did was whack off on a slide and look at it.
22. Childhood Sexual Trauma... It's Grrrrrrrreat!
[rebelmouse-image 18350935 is_animated_gif=John Harvey Kellog (yes that Kellogg on your sugary cereals) hated masturbation and thought it would rot your child's brain. He thought spicy foods made you sexually excited and so people were convinced that giving your child bland foods would keep the hormones at bay. This made Kellogg put into production all these bland tasting cereals and graham crackers (which had little to no sugar back then) to keep your children from popping boners. As an added extent, he would advise parents to sew your young boy's foreskin closed without anesthesia and pour carbolic acid on your young girl's clitoris. He would brag about not having sex with his wife of 20 years
Now go eat your cereal
H/T: Reddit
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.