Being a parent is hard. Sometimes it's utter insanity, especially if you're the parent of some particularly "spirited" children. Take comfort, all you frazzled parents out there. I know it may feel like you're out on your own in the fringes of some alien universe sometimes ... but there are others out here with you. You're not alone. We all sometimes want to bash our heads in when it comes to the wee ones.
Reddit user @RatigatorStew asked:
Some of these are kind of hilarious after-the-fact ... but some are totally heartbreaking. Brace yourselves, you're in for a wild ride.
50. EWWWWWWWWWWWW
GiphyMy son at the time was 2 and was being potty trained. We were doing really well, not one accident in weeks. I was preparing dinner and he came walking into the kitchen with brown hands, face, and clothing.
I asked him what it was and long story short he had covered my entire sitting room, bathroom, bedroom and his bedroom in poop. I could have had a breakdown at the time scrubbing it off the doors bedding and my couch but now looking back at it it just makes me laugh.
But never again am I having another child 😁
49. No Party
I'm not a parent, but my siblings did it, and my parents were furious about it.
We had a good day, movies, restaurant, and anything that would make any day good, but we needed to go to the store for tomorrow, and it was for a friends birthday party, and so when we came in, my siblings (around 8 and 10, also built like literal tanks) charged the front door, and bolted off, we thought nothing of it, until we saw a small girl (around 3 1/2 years old) right in the door, where there trajectory was. At the last second, her mom pulled her out of the way, if not, they would have seriously hurt or killed.
48. In The Other's Shoes
Role reversal, I had run through my house with my car, and the first thing my father said upon seeing it was simply "you've got to be kidding me."
They probably wished I didn't exist at the time
47. Thank Goodness No One Heard
Obligatory not a parent, but according to my mom, this was a particularly embarrassing moment in her life as a parent. Apparently when I was around 5 years old, I was waiting in checkout at the grocery store with my mom, and we were behind some obese black lady. She was taking her sweet time so my obvious reaction was to say, "Move it or lose it fat*ss." Fortunately, I had said it quietly enough that nobody had heard or noticed.
46. Thank Goodness
Not a parent but sitting at my doctors office and a little girl who is maybe 4 just yelled out "I don't eat newborn babies!!!!" And her mom just sat there turning red and said "I should hope not." I'm willing to bet she is feeling a little of that "can I just stop being a parent now"
45. Hey Kid No Drinking Weed
Well I'm the kid here. They caught me growing herb. The funny thing was that their reaction was simply "cut it down otherwise it looks cool". But they are actually pretty strict parents, never understood that reaction.
44. I Just Want To Sleep
He is only a little over 2 so he hasn't done that many bad things but once, at about 1 and 10 months, he cried and shouted for 5 hours straight in the middle of the night.. We did everything we could but he wouldn't be quiet. There and then I wished I could put him outside and sleep.
43. EWWWWW SQUARED
He would take a water bottle to bed every night. And would fill it back up again during the night. With urine. And would never throw the damn bottles out. Cleaning his room I found over 30 bottles filled to some degree. I'm still in shock.
42. I Have No Answers. Just More Questions
My son woke up middle of the night with croup, cool can't breathe, so we head to the ER. Get in the waiting room and sit down and this messed up meth head comes in. Sits down about 6 chairs away from us.
Kid starts.
"Dad. Dad. Daaad"
"What [redacted]?"
"Can I ask you question?" He's loud talking at this point.
"Sure man, what?"
"Why's that woman soooooo UGLY!"
Luckily they call me back as soon as he says this but in that 10 seconds I just looked at him and though "why?" Lol
41. You Tried, Honey. You Tried
Painted my Harley with white latex paint. They thought they were making my bike "pretty" for Dad. Instead of freaking out I hugged them both, knowing that I could wash the paint off.
40. The Secondhand Anger
GiphyMy youngest had a tough time learning to read, and he hated writing. So second grade was pretty tough for him. He also has ADHD, so there was just way too much sitting down in school. One day he was mad at his (wonderful, patient) teacher for I've forgotten what, and he went to the bathroom and wrote "MrsTeacherName is a b word." He was eight. There was no doubt who wrote it. Another kid told on him, but he also signed it. I have had many calls from the principal, but that was the worst feeling because this teacher had really been going above and beyond to try to help him.
39. No Thoughts For Others
Not a parent but I witnessed this 4 year old cousin and me and my aunt are at a drive through and the attendant is trans. My little cousin VERY LOUDLY SAYS " Mommy, is that a man or a girl?" So much sigh
38. The Worst Alarm Clock
Not my son's fault at all but jesus was I pissed... My 3 year old crawled into bed with us in the middle of the night last week, woke me up by saying daddy daddy daddy right in front of my face and as soon as I open my eyes he puked all over me. All over the new comforter and sheets, and all over the carpet. So much stomach capacity in a 3 year old.
37. But Why
My then 8-year-old son stole $200 from my husband's wallet one night. When he overheard us talking about where the money went, he shredded it in the shredder to hide the evidence. He confessed a week later to me in tears. We were seriously broke at the time, so $200 was basically our grocery and gas money for the month.
We laugh about it now, but at the time I really was fed up.
36. A Taste Of A World Unneeded
I had been working for like 15 hours and came home and fell asleep with her on my chest. I woke up to her scraping her hand across my teeth after she had put it in her poopy diaper.
35. A Big Fan Of Fixing Things
Covered two rooms in Vicks Vapor Rub. The smell is what woke me from "our" nap. She clearly wasn't napping.
Rub desitin all over the TV because the DVD she was watching started to skip. Mommy TV had boo boo, its okay I fixed it.
34. Daddy's Daddy But Not In My Pretend World
When I was a kid my mum always picked me up from nursery. One day my dad showed up instead and apparently I screamed that I didn't know him and grabbed on to a table like he was trying to kidnap me. Queue a bunch of parents looking on in horror as a 6"4 man tried to drag a screaming 3 year old out by her ankles. In the end I think someone called my mum who had to come out of work early to confirm who he was.
33. It's All Kids
I was reading through my grandma's letters to my grandpa. In one letter she talks about spending hours getting the bathroom super clean, polishing everything in it and waxing the floor several times. Then in the middle of the night, my mom, then 3 years old, grabbed the Comet powder and shook the entire bottle out over everything. When Grandma woke the next morning and discovered this, she cried.
When I read this, I exclaimed, "ok, it isn't just my kids!"
32. Kids Don't Mix With Shopping Apps
My daughter figured out how to leave the kids' part of the amazon tablet and enter the regular amazon app. Where she proceeded to spend enough money to empty our bank account, put us $600 in the hole AND she had another $3,000 of merchandise in the amazon cart that wouldn't go through.
It took me some time to undo all of that.
31. Teenagers Can Be Even Worse
When my daughter was 13, she stayed with Grandma while her Mom and I went to a Van Halen concert. She was supposed to stay the night. We got home about 12:00 or so and listened to the phone messages. ( this was the 80's,before cell phones). It seems she waited for Grandma to go to bed, found her car keys, stole her car and crashed it into a tree down the street. No real injuries and police were not involved, but I realized then and there that I did not want anymore kids!
30. Roving Destruction Machines
GiphySomewhere between the time I discovered that it was my children who had scratched giant "X"s into the side of my year old lease car with a ball point pen, or the time I had woken up from a nap (turns out I had severe bipolar depression and I should not have been asleep because they were very young at the time but I literally couldn't stay awake) and they had found my nail polish and opened every bottle and painted my bathroom and carpeted closet with it.
29. Nom Nom Nom
Not parent but the kid, when i was maybe 3 we went to Door County, Wis. and bought a bag or 2 of expensive apples to bring home, a 7 to 7.5 hour drive. So when we get home I ask for an apple which my parents give me. Then they go upstairs for idk use your imagination and left me on my own.
So I grab the bag of apples and take a single bite out of EACH APPLE b/c to my 3 year old brain 1 bite of 15 apples is equivalent to 1 apple and line up each and everyone in a shelf and sit contently in the chair until about half an hour later my parents reappear and look in horror and shock at the row of apples with 3 year old sized bites in each one.
28. A Shattered Relic
My dad taught Kung fu for about 30 years. When I was young I tried to chop a stick with his favorite sword (didn't know that when I was 7) that was supposedly blessed by some monk or some famous martial artist. Needless to say, I shattered the sword. He still talks about that sword and it's been almost 20 years.
27. The Drug Store
My daughter, at age 4, accompanied me on some errands. First, the drugstore, the nursery, the bank and then the grocery. After checking out, the cashier says, "Miss, don't forget your change." My daughter turns around and says, "Don't give that to her--she'll just spend it on drugs!" That's when we started referring to it as 'Walgreens.'
26. Tweet Tweet Tweet
So I'll share that when I was real young (2-3?) my mom was carrying me to our hotel room and without any warning as she's walking past a fire alarm I stick my hand out and pull it. Then I look at her and go "Mommy listen to the birds!"
I don't remember any of this, but my mom reminds me of it frequently over twenty years later now.
25. A SAINT, An ANGEL
Not a parent, but a kid. Once when i was around 5-7 my angelic father was taking a nap and i had the bright idea to clean his ear with a Q-tip. Of course this startled him and his first reaction was to quickly bring his hand up to his ear, effectively shoving it clean through his eardrum. He was confused for a second as the blood began pouring down the side of his head and i quickly explained what happened. He sighed, got me in the truck, and we went to ER without him getting angry at me.
24. The Ebb And Flow
My 2 year old fed my 5 year old a carpet tack, and she swallowed it. This was the same day I found out I had melanoma. That was an expensive month. We're all fine now.
23. Just Look What You're Heading Toward
My 4yo son asked an obviously pregnant woman if there was "a baby in there". When she responded in the affirmative he shouted "Sucker!"
The look the woman shot me was enough to shiver me timbers.
22. A Dramatic Way To Solve The Problem
She threw herself down in the airport and screamed WHY DID YOU THROW ME ON THE GROUND MAMA?! WHY. In the midst of crowds trying to get to their terminals. She did this because we were carrying all the bags and she didn't want to walk the last 60 feet to our gate. I wasn't even touching her when she did this I have no clue why this was her response.
21. Freshly Buttered
My kids buttered our dog. You ever try to catch a freshly buttered chihuahua?
20. The Newborn Slap
My 4yr old daughter (at the time) slapped a 3wk old newborn across the face immediately upon meeting her.
19. Headbutting
I'm 15 weeks pregnant and have a 15 month old. For those who haven't been pregnant before, the first trimester is brutal for exhaustion. With my first, I slept 10 hours a night and took a 2 hour nap every day. These days I'm incredibly lucky if I get 7 hours a night, and definitely no nap.
So one day about a month ago I barely slept because I had insomnia at night and my kid relentlessly wakes up between 5:30AM and 6:30AM. I was dead on my feet, so I decided to try and lie down on the couch and maybe catch a cat nap while my kid played. He saw me lying on the couch, walked up to me and head butted me as hard as he could right in the bridge of the nose. I heard a crunch and could have sworn it was broken it hurt so badly. In that moment, I regretted every life decision that had led me to that point. My very mature adult response was to burst into hysterical tears and ask him why he's so mean to me. I think that freaked him out more than yelling would have.
18. Praying For The Goblin King
GiphyMy then 2 year old puked, which landed in my open mouth. I wished the Goblin King would come for him then.
16. "Down Boobies" Come With Age
When my then 3 or 4 year old daughter asked me very loudly why I don't have "down boobies" like the older lady in the swimming pool change room that was standing right next to us getting dressed
She actually laughed and said to enjoy my "up boobies" while I still had them but I was still dying inside...
15. "He's Not My Parent"
I had to take my wife to the emergency room early one morning for intense stomach pain. Our kids were 2 and 3, and it was about 1am so they went with us. I packed a bag with snacks and toys, and loaded everyone up. It was the middle of the night when we got there, but we still had to park a significant distance from the ER entrance.
When wife was back with the doc my son (2 years old) was running around and playing. He hit his bumped his his head lightly and started shrieking an ungodly banshee wail. I decided we would wait in the car and maybe drive around a little, and they'd hopefully go to sleep.
So I'm carrying the bag and two struggling angry demon-preschoolers the quarter mile to the car. At this point my son isn't shrieking, but he's not happy. We encountered an elderly couple and my daughter (3 years old) looks them dead in the face and says, "hey, he's not my parent." I was exhausted and frustrated and my arms were tired from carrying them. I didn't want to stop and have the conversation... and I panicked a little. I sped up, got to the car, loaded them up and left in a hurry. I didn't get arrested, though... I was glad at the time, now I'm kinda pissed that the old folks just let me go.
You had the look of a frustrated parent who has someone in the ER, not the look of a panicked kidnapper and your daughter's voice probably didn't sound sincere. So don't blame the old people.
You probably made a grimace and they instantly recognized it as "only a parent could be that annoyed by a comment and only their own kid would know exactly what to say to make them that annoyed"
TBH, I had never even considered that. I always just thought of it as the time I got away with kidnapping my own kids in 2007.
That does make me feel a little better about the role the elderly couple played in the worst morning of my life. Thank you.
14. Bride of Chucky
GiphyIt was early morning, and I was sleeping in my bed. My two year old woke up before me, and decided that she was going to wake me as well. She climbed out of her bed, went into the kitchen, made a set of stairs to get the kitchen knives, grabbed a knife, and headed to my bed. She climbed into my bed, and stabbed me an inch below my eye. I woke with her holding said knife over my head, and her giggling like the bride of chucky.
- dce42
A two year old!?!? Wtf aren't they still essentially rugrats?
Two year olds can walk, climb, talk, (sorta) and attempt both murder and suicide all in like the same thirty seconds.
Parenting a particularly wild one is a lot like spending twelve hours trying to dress a badger in a leotard.
13. Sandwiches
3 dozen half eaten sandwiches hidden around her bedroom.
If she'd told us she didn't like them, that would have been fine. but to hide them? Holy smokes.
12. Outlets
My son was about 7. He discovered my wireless hot glue gun from my craft room. I was using it that afternoon and stopped to make dinner. I didn't shut off the gun.
Of course I didn't get to my craft space till much.later and noticed it wasn't there. Turns out my son took it and hot glued all the electrical outlets he could find. I mean, ALL of them.
11. Shake? Shake.
My now-husband and I had been officially together for maybe a week (known each other for years, tho). I was driving his immaculately maintained and detailed truck. It was hot, so I went through sonic and got the 3yr old a small milkshake. I handed it to him. He asked "shake?", I confirmed "shake."
He shook it.
Ice cream everywhere in 90+ degree heat. The truck smelled like spoiled dairy for weeks regardless of how much cleaning we did.
10. Trying To Get Suspended
My son had severe separation anxiety when he was in kindergarten, which was only made worse by a fall at school that caused head trauma (concussion followed by a seizure.)
That entire year was full of multiple parent teacher conference about behavior. He is a smart kid, so he started to purposefully try to get suspended so he could be home with us. He took the smallest girl in his class and push her head into a brick wall. The school figured out his game tho and gave him in-school suspensions.
Several therapists, medication, therapeutic mentor, an IEP, Neuro psych testing, a "big" from big brothers big sisters and two years later and he is doing much better but is still a challenge. It's the most tiring thing ever but I love him and he is continuing to improve so hopefully in a few years he is fully in control of himself.
9. Power Rangers
GiphySo I'm the oldest of 6, with the youngest one being 2 and me being 18.
My six year old sister walked up to me and my mom in the living room the other day with one of those "I'm up to no good" faces. Her hands are behind her back and she starts laughing before she even has a chance to start talking.
Then, she brings forth her hands, displaying the battery, and proceeds to try and "stick them up mom's butt"
We asked why and she said, "If you stick a battery up your butt you become a power ranger."
It was hilarious the first couple times, but now we have to watch our backs as we never know when she is going to try and turn us into power rangers.
8. $200
My then 8-year-old son stole $200 from my husband's wallet one night. When he overheard us talking about where the money went, he shredded it in the shredder to hide the evidence. He confessed a week later to me in tears. We were seriously broke at the time, so $200 was basically our grocery and gas money for the month.
We laugh about it now, but at the time I really was fed up.
- landho54
7. The Raw Chicken Incident
When my daughter was 3 or so, the wife and I were cooking dinner and had some raw chicken out on the cutting board waiting to be prepped. We turn back to see our daughter moving her hand from the chicken to her mouth, but we were to late, and she licks her fingers.
Now, she turns out fine, so stay with me.
She ends ups projectile vomiting, with explosive diarrhea all through the night. Of course she wanted to sleep with us since she didn't feel good.
We ended up changing the sheets at least 4 times. Whats worse/better? She was laughing about it most of time, cause she got to stay up late.
She still laughs when we tell her about it. She is 15 now.
6. The Drug Store
My daughter, at age 4, accompanied me on some errands. First, the drug store, the nursery, the bank and then the grocery. After checking out, the cashier says, "Miss, don't forget your change." My daughter turns around and says, "Don't give that to her--she'll just spend it on drugs!" That's when we started referring to it as 'Walgreens' instead of the 'drug store.'
5. Amazon
She got a hold of a paint can during church... when we walked out of mass into the courtyard we found out what a good 'artist' she was becoming.
4. The Pot Luck Dinner
We had a lady at the church I used to go to that was severely obese - she had topped 500lbs. She also had the incredibly rude habit of pushing people out of the way with her motor scooter during any of the pot luck meals put on by the church.
My oldest is autistic (aspergers) and his filter when younger was... yeah let's be honest. There wasn't one.
So one Sunday at the dinner she, of course, pushes past people in her scooter cutting in line. My son frustratedly says "Hey don't eat all the food PLEASE!"
I was kind of stunned like....did that....did that come FROM HIM. She complained to the pastor later, but honestly I think pastor was kind of done with her and her rude family too. I honestly don't think my son meant it from a place of shaming and most likely didn't even notice her weight. He is just so damn blunt at times. If anything the cutting in line was more of a trigger then anything else.
- HKfukIt
3. Hot Mushroom Cleavage
During a wedding feast, my then 4 year-old brother tried to use chopsticks to pick up a "burning hot" mushroom and accidentally threw it directly to the cleavage of my mum (who was wearing a low cut dress). I'm never having kids.
2. The Risky Fart
Lost a bet on a risky fart and pooped the bed. We didn't find out until about a week and a half later. She'd just been sleeping in the bed like nothing was wrong the whole time. She said she forgot, but...it was very obvious and not something you would or could overlook. And it's not like my kids get in trouble for things like that and she was afraid. My wife is a nurse and handles stuff like that with pure compassionate-mom professionalism.
They asked:
"Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?"
Here are some of the interesting legends and superstitions of North America's First Nations and Indigenous tribes.
Uktena
Brice Cooper on Unsplash
"Uktena. It's a legend about a horned snake in Tsalagi [Cherokee] legend. Uktena is said to be very large and round like a tree trunk, with horns on his head."
"The only way to wound him is to shoot at a singular spot on his forehead that emits bright light. It's similar to a diamond. If you defeat Uktena, you become a miracle worker."
"A great warrior. Yet, once you see the light of his forehead, you run toward it instead of trying to escape."
"Even to see Uktena sleeping is death. Not to the hunter, but to his family."
~ Faith-Hope-TacoBell
Dog Tails or Why They Sniff Each Other
gotdaflow on Unsplash
"Lenni Lenape story about why dogs sniff each other's butts."
"When the humans slept, dogs would get together and party, but not before taking their tails off. They'd dance the entire night, put their tails back on and return home."
"But one time a wolf found them and all the dogs had to scramble away to their homes for safety, but a lot of them grabbed the wrong tail."
"They never danced again at night because they were afraid of the wolf, so they were stuck with weird mismatched tails for the rest of their lives."
"This is the reason that dogs sniff each other's butts; to see if the other dog has their tail."
~ ChurroChick
Haida Raven Brings Light to the Earth
Cristina Glebova on Unsplash
"In the beginning there was no light in the world, because an old magician kept it hidden in a box inside his house. Raven, who was always hungry, didn't like the darkness because it was difficult to find food."
"One day he was looking for food near the old magician's house. He heard a voice saying, 'I have a box, and inside this box is another box, and inside this there is another box, and inside the smallest box is all the light in the world'."
"Raven decided to steal the light."
"Raven waited until the old man's daughter went down to the river to collect water. Just as she was dipping her basket into the river, he changed himself into a hemlock needle."
"The needle floated into her basket. When the girl drank some water, she swallowed Raven too."
"Inside the girl's belly Raven took the form of a human baby. He grew and grew, and in time she gave birth to a funny looking child with black eyes and a big nose."
"The old man loved his grandson so much that he gave in to the child's every wish. Raven became spoilt and greedy. He was bored with all his toys, and wanted to play with the box that held the light."
"Finally the grandfather opened the box and tossed the glowing ball of light to Raven."
"As soon as Raven caught the light, he immediately changed into his bird form. Holding the light in his beak, he flew up the chimney hole into the dark world."
"The magician was angry. He wanted to get the light back into his box."
"He flew after Raven."
"The light was heavy in Raven's beak, and he was getting tired. The magician was coming closer."
"Raven broke off some pieces of the light and threw them into the sky. They became the stars."
"The magician was still coming closer, so Raven broke off another piece of the light and threw it into the sky. It became the moon."
"Finally Raven became so tired that he tossed the last and biggest piece of the light into the sky. It became the sun; and that is how daylight came to the world."
~ deviety
Nakani
Oliver Roos on Unsplash
"Dené from northern British Columbia here, my mom used to always tell me stories of the Nehgunni [Nakani], or bushmen/wild-men when I was young."
"They were people who lived in the forest and took away people who wandered too far out, specifically children."
"I always figured these stories were created by my people to serve two purposes, first to teach young children to not wander far off, and second to give explanations to kidnappings or missing people."
~ spanishLION
See-at-coh
green trees near lake under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Jasper Gronewold on Unsplash"See-at-coh (don't know the translation in English) is a Cowlitz legend. Lived at this lake and it was his spot."
"We DO NOT go there or he will kill you. Used to have nightmares about him based on what I was taught as a kid."
"Like how you could stand at the edge of the water and be looking in and he would come out of it and just grab you. No whistling at night and keep windows covered."
"But then the mountain blew up [Mt. Saint Helen] and filled in the lake so don't know if he's still around or not."
~ kalimah1
Nahual of Mexico
Joshua Wilking on Unsplash
"I live in rural Mexico. There are many, many different Indigenous peoples in what's now Mexico."
"The ones who settled here speak Nahuatl—the language of the Aztecs. This legend took place in the early 1900's."
"One of my favourite Nahuatl myths is the Nahual."
"Some people were thought to be able to turn into an animal. Most of them could only turn into one, but the most powerful Nahual could turn into different animals."
"There was a man who owned a hacienda where my town is, and he had a sort of overseer that everyone was afraid of."
"Said overseer could take a message all the way to the next state (think hundreds of miles) and bring back a sealed response in a single day."
"He also seemed to know everything everyone did, all the time. He was rumoured to be a Nahual that could turn into a coyote and an eagle."
"His quarters were heavily warded in his absence, which only added fuel to the rumor. You can only kill a Nahual if you find the human skin he sheds to transform and burn said skin."
~ CTalina78
Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha
Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
"Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha—the giant twins [of the Dené]."
"There are landmarks all around the territory I live in that is exhibited as 'proof' they were alive."
"In the middle of the Mackenzie river( biggest river in the NorthWest Territories) there is a large stone sticking out of the river which looks like the petrified guts of a beaver, there is a giant branchless, leafless tree sticking out of the top of this stone."
"It is said that Yamǫǫ̀zha had hunted a giant beaver and gutted him there in the river. He used his spear to anchor down the cuts so fish may feed on them. They are still there to this day."
"Yamǫ́rıa's body can be seen laying down, it is essentially a mountain range that looks like a giant human laying on his back, completely with face and feet. This can be seen from the peak of the hill as you enter a town called Ft. Liard, the southwestern most town in the NWT."
Walking Sam of the Pine Ridge Reservation
Boston Public Library on Unsplash
"'Walking Sam' skulks in the shadows of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and convinces people to take their own lives, especially young people."
"He's 7 feet tall, very thin and has no mouth. When he stretches out his long arms, nooses hang down with Lakota children hanging from them."
"Walking Sam finds you when you're alone and puts thoughts in your head until you feel worthless and kill yourself.
"Sometimes Walking Sam is depicted looking like Abraham Lincoln, complete with the stovepipe hat. 'Walking Sam', 'Uncle Sam', I don't know if that's where the name came from."
"But Walking Sam is an evil infected upon the people when the Oceti Sakowin were forced onto the reservations; he isn't a legend of the people before Pine Ridge Reservation existed."
"Lincoln was President when the Lakota were being forced onto reservations. Lincoln also ordered the execution of 38 Lakota men the day after Christmas in 1862. It's the largest mass execution in U.S. history."
"I always thought Walking Sam was Lincoln. They carved his face onto Ŝa´kpe Tuŋkaŋŝi (Mount Rushmore was called Six Grandfathers) in the Paha Sa´pa (Black Hills)
"My Father attended Holy Rosary boarding school at Pine Ridge in the 1940s & 1950s, but our people didn't live on the reservation. My Grandmother said evil stalked the people there."
"My Father never wanted us to ever even visit any of our cousins or his Uncles there."
~ LakotaGrl
Este Lopocke or Este Lubutke
Morgane Perraud on Unsplash
"Miccosukee [Seminole] tribal member here (South Florida) and for us it's the little people."
"Essentially really small people (like barbie doll sized and smaller) that live in the trees. They play jokes and stuff mainly, unless you piss them off."
"Had family members get tricks played on them that couldn't be explained."
"And then we have our fair share of stories that circulate our reservation like a tribal member being taken by the little people."
"All on the reservation in the Everglades (like 40 mins west of Miami)."
~ SSBMBabyCakes
Haudenosaunee Rules
Chris Chow on Unsplash
"I know the Haudenosaunee [Iroquois Confederacy] rules."
"1. If you hear someone you know calling your name, but you also know they are not supposed to be there, DON'T respond. Especially if they are out of sight and insisting you come to them."
"2. Always play group games in counter-clockwise order, otherwise your playing with the dead."
"3. Also don't eat in the dark, this is considered inviting the dead to eat with you. If you can extend your hand all the way out and still see it clearly then your fine."
"4. Don't play card games past midnight. If you do, and someone knocks at the door, don't answer it."
"5. Try not to drop your cards, if you do then don't bend down to pick them up, or you will see hooves under the table. That's bad."
"6. Say thank you after meals, even if you're the one that made it. Even better if you say it in native tongue."
"7. If someone finishes their meal and says thank you, you say 'you're welcome', even if you didn't give it to them. Even better in native tongue."
"8. After someone dies, you should gather family as quickly as possible to have feasts for 10 days. The first dinner is large, then every meal after that is a smaller feast meant for portions of the family to come at different times to help.
"The last feast on the 10th day is the closing dinner, which is the largest, with the entire family expected to show up and help. For every meal of these 10 days, put out a plate of the deceased's favorite foods first."
"Contrary to rule 6, you do not say thank you at any time during these 10 days. This is because it is believed that it takes the dead 10 days to relive their lives before they pass on, so this is your last chance to eat with them."
"Saying 'Thank you' during this time will make them stop before they're done because you're saying you're done. This will have bad consequences."
"9. Don't try to contact spirits, especially with board games. This is not a tribe custom, it's more of an unspoken common sense among the Rez people."
"10. If a bird flies into your house, someone's going to die."
"11. Pregnant woman should not hold any child that isn't theirs."
"12. It's accepted that if you actually try to curse someone, literally going through all of the steps with the intention of harm, not accidentally wishing them bad luck, then your family will also be cursed horribly."
"13. If you play with fire you'll wet the bed."
~ kinda-always-hungry
To learn more general information about Indigenous mythology of the United States, visit the Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian website.
For Canada, visit the First Nations in Canada website.
For information about specific tribes, visit their tribal government website for recommended resources.
There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.
For instance, if someone falls down... help them.
When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.
Just leaving with it won't go over well.
And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...
Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:
"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"
If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.
The people in Port Authority always miss that one.
Routine
Cleaning Chores GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."
cwsjr2323
"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."
radtech91
Trashed
"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."
UndiagnosedReptard
"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."
wavesnfreckles
"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."
on_the_nightshift
Finder's Keepers
"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."
Rich1926
"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."
"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
Dropped something?
"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."
Altruistic-Bit-9766
"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."
"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."
ohno807
Obligations...
Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."
halcyon3608
If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...
I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!
Flushed
Go Away Pink GIF by HacklockGiphy"Check the toilet after you flush."
NANNYNEGLEY
"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"
purplestarsinthesky
WAKE UP!
"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."
DonMartiniMacaroni
"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."
stumblinbear
"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."
chill90ies
No Exceptions!
"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."
Next-Dark-4975"
"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."
Bmadray
Table Manners
"No tech at the table."
"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"
"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."
"Other than this, we are pretty cool."
Dante2005
Woof
Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"
InfiniteBackspace
Always let the dogs go first.
If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!
Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"
For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.
It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.
Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?
As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.
And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.
It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.