"What's the biggest red flag you ignored?"
Bad Luck, Or Bad Habits?
"She had astronomically bad luck."
"She had been falsely accused of plagiarism and kicked out of college."
"She had a DUI on her record even though she wasn’t that drunk but the breathalyzer was miscalibrated and they mixed up her blood sample with a different DUI arrest."
"She got fired from her job for stealing when she didn’t actually steal but got set up."
"Everything just went wrong for her."
"Or maybe, just maybe, she was a huge a**hole who couldn’t own up to her own sh*t."- AmatuerCultist
Dubious Track Record
'She told me every guy she dated broke up with her."
"I eventually found out why."- draiman
Can't They Weren't Honest
"'I'm not in a good place to be in a relationship'."
"Yeah, I probably should have listened to that one."- spockgiirl
Drew Barrymore Oops GIF by NETFLIXGiphyThem Against The World
"Everything was always someone else's fault."
"All of his ex's were crazy/wrong."
"His family was problematic."
"Everybody was against him."
"Egad, did I find out about him the hard way."- ricwash
"She rage-quit every relationship she had ever had."
"I was her last friend, so I thought she would hang on to me."
"Nope."- Logical-Pop-458
The Words "I'm Sorry" Can Go A Long Way...
"He never apologized for anything."
"Even stuff that was 100% his fault."
"But my dumba** would have to apologize for everything, even stuff out of my control."- imlovegina
Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphyBefore, After, Or During One Wonders...
"He got arrested on our first date."- Sapphyrre
What Were They Trying To Hide?...
"When the person I was seeing would never introduce me to their friends or family."- graces-taylor12
Never Trust A Manipulator
"My gf at the time used the words, while talking about manipulating someone, 'I just always know what to say to make someone feel how I want…' hesitates then looks over to me and says '…but I don’t do that to you because…I care about you too much…'"
"This was pretty late in the relationship’s life, so I think she just barely cared to hide it anymore."
"I was heavily mentally checked out, and accepted this excuse without a second word."
"I did 100% notice it deep inside myself, and I still remember the pang of self hatred."- Terapyn
Manipulate 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLCGiphyWinning Isn't Everything... Or Is It?
"She was such a sore loser."
"Like toss the cards if she was losing at cards or smash and smear all the letters around if she was losing at Scrabble."
"It escalated from there as she would literally corner me in a room and tear into me for something I said."
"I left once as she went to the bathroom, mid-tirade."
"In her pajamas and slippers, she ran down two floors of her apartment's parking garage to stop me."
"Oh, and neither of her own kids would talk to her."
"Her parents and sister didn't speak with her, either."
"But they got the religion and she didn't."
"I just thought I could make it work, everyone has sore points and triggers."
"But I was so relieved when she left."- milescowperthwaite
Read The Room!
"My ex-boyfriend used to tell me how much he wanted to f*ck other people (my sister, my friends, his friends, etc) while we were being intimate."- lightasapetal
Over It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy"Do You Like Scary Movies?"
"First date she told me her favorite movie ever was 'The Exorcist'.”
"Whatever, I love scary movies."
"Soon after, we actually watched a scary movie, she came back from the bathroom wearing a scream mask and holding a kitchen knife because she thought it was funny.'
'I did not, but I was just like ok she’s 'quirky'.”- genekreamer
Patterns...
"The ex-wife had left her two previous partners for someone she had an affair with."
"I didn't think it would happen to me."
"It took 10 years, but it did."- MartyFreeze
"She cheated with me before she broke up with her ex and we got together."
"Imagine my surprised Pikachu face when she was f*cking a bunch of guys behind my back."- Greylings
Surprised Meme GIFGiphyThe Age Old Blame Game...
"Blaming me for things that I had no effect on."
"She got a bad grade on a quiz because I helped her study."
"Blamed me for her dropping her laptop because I was in another room doing my own thing and couldn't hear what she was saying so she had to get up off the couch which led to the dropping of the laptop."
"Blamed me for her not being prepared for a presentation at work because I had a work event instead of 'being there for her' which always meant just sitting there on the couch next to her while she put it together."
"Blamed me for her backing into a pole in a parking lot because I didn't pick her up from work, but I decided we'd meet at a restaurant."
"So many more, nothing was ever her fault."- turkeysandwich1982
It's never wise or fair to prejudge someone.
But if anything about someone causes suspicion, there's absolutely nothing wrong in doing a little investigating.
Possibly saving you a bucket load of trouble down the road.
"What's the most regrettable purchase you've ever made?"
Anything But Luxurious
"When I was in my early 20’s bought a used BMW with 80k miles."
"Everything in that car was crazy expensive to fix."
"Had it for a 1.5 years before I sold it."
"The amount of money I spend on buying+fixing that car I could have bought I brand new BMW."
"Learned my lesson, never buy used luxury cars."- Steve83725
And So Began A Habit They'd Do Anything To Break...
"That first pack of cigarettes."
"Should have never started."- xipisiw577
...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
"A $300 pogo stick."
"I still don't know what the f*ck I was thinking when I ordered that thing."- xayep54838
bart simpson pogo stick GIFGiphyYou'd Think Science Lovers Would Have Been More Meticulous...
"A shower curtain with the periodic table."
"We couldn't find it here in Denmark so I had to order it from the US which meant a huge shipping fee."
"Then there was added a custums fee making the total price almost $100."
"All of this would not have been so bad if not for the fact that we forgot to check the measurements, as it turned out to be only 180 cm long leaving a big gap at the bottom where water would splash through making the floor soaking wet."- xipisiw577
Not As Advertised
"A remote control car I begged and saved for when I was 9."
"It was terrible and I still haven’t got over the disappointment 30 odd years later."- thencamethethunder
Way To Soon...
"I bought a planner in January 2020."- Dear-Original-675
Typography No Refunds GIF by Abel M'VadaGiphyOof...
"2 engagement and wedding rings."- Tawebuse
Planning Ahead Doesn't Always Pay Off
"I was engaged for a little over a year, and since she didn't want to be on the pill, we used condoms."
"One time we ran out, and I bought a great big box of new ones, different flavors and ribbings and what not."
"Then the relationship ended, and I could feel the box lying there in my drawer, mocking me, almost untouched."-nadoba1473
winter olympics lol GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphyGood For One Good Ride?
"Gotrax scooter."
"That company is a joke."
"Their products' life cycle is measured in weeks before your scooter is a piece of plastic going to the landfill."
"I tried going through their customer service for repair parts and got some covered by warranty, only to have those parts break after a few days of light use."
"Even worse, when I asked for a tracking number for the parts, their CSR emailed me a spreadsheet of EVERY part order they had that day, complete with names, addresses, emails, telephone numbers."
"Only thing missing was the CC numbers."- AdWonderful5920
Hopefully They At Least Look Nice
"I bought some running shoes, I enjoy sitting down."- kenow18890
Timing Is Everything
"I bought a KIA two months before the Kiaboyz TikTok challenge went viral."
"Of course some teens tried to steal my car causing $2,500 worth of damage to my ignition and steering column."- Aldous_Hoaxley
car driving GIF by A Magical MessGiphyPlanning Ahead To The Max...
"A grave for me besides my father's grave."
"Bought it for $6.000 +- it was bad because there was a monthly fee $40 +- , after 5 years paying that fee I've had enough so I decided to sell my grave."
"Then i couldn’t sell due to one contract clause wich gives the cemetery practically all the selling money."
"As i result i had to return the grave to the cemetery for nothing."
"Good for them , stupid me lost all that money."- Icy_Cow4578
No Golden Ticket Either...
"When I was about three years old, I was with my family in a store that sold trading cards."
"There were a lot of packs of cards everywhere with different colors and pictures on them."
"All fairly standard trading card size."
"But then there was this one package that was definitely not a pack of cards."
"It was a candy bar."
"I could tell because it was extra long and shaped exactly like a candy bar."
"I asked my parents to buy it, but they didn’t want to."
"They asked why I wanted these cards so bad and I explained that they weren’t cards, but a candy bar."
"I essentially threw a fit until they decided it was just be easier to buy it for me."
"And then with some help, I opened my first and only ever pack of NASCAR trading cards."
"Definitely not a candy bar."
"I was inconsolable at the time, and still think about it to this day."- BillionaireGhost
tom and jerry eating GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphyAdvertising can be very persuasive, and sometimes all it takes is looking at a picture to make us think we positively need to have something.
Once we unwrap this, possibly expensive, impulse buy though, we are reminded that imagination and fantasy is always more appealing than reality.
"Dear Reddit, what is the worst thing YOU have said during a breakup?"
The Unoriginality Makes It Worse...
"Her: 'is it someone else?'"
"Me: 'no, it's just you'."- stingyboy
Ouch!
"Two months after our breakup, she asked me if I missed her."
"I told her I missed her parents more than I missed her."- lxkandel06·
Knowing It Is One Thing, Hearing It Is Another...
"The worst is telling someone you don't love them anymore and genuinely seeing the heartbreak on their face."
"That's a gut-wrenching thing to see when you know your words caused it."- nryporter25
break up GIFGiphyThat Door Is Closed
"The breakup wasn't my choice, but when he tried a few weeks later to reconnect, I said 'Oh, I've actually been really happy since we've been apart'."
"'I don't think I could get back together now'."
"My sister called me savage for it, but I wasn't trying to be mean."
"It was the truth, and I just hadn't realized it up until the thought of taking him back filled me with dread."- HospitalFluffy
Walked Into That One..
"She was breaking up with me, and I told her, 'You know you are right, and I agree, we aren't very compatible, and our relationship has been on the decline for sometime'."
"Those were my true thoughts and feelings."
"I felt a sense of relief when she broke up with me because I realized it was the best move for the both of us."
"So why was this the worst thing to say?"
"It ended up making her want to double down on the relationship."
"I was bombarded with non-stop texts, phone calls, unnanounced visits to my apartment."
"All of that."
"Apparently breaking up things amicably was not how she wanted to go."
"I think she was adamant she left with the upper hand."- slytherinprolly
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphyIn The Heat Of The Moment
“'Please don’t leave, no one else will ever love me'.”
"Said by me sobbing in the open doorway of the new apartment of my wife of barely one year."
"My self esteem was totally shattered."
"My life was over, there just was nothing left."
"She was kind but firm."
"She knew the relationship wasn’t a good fit before I accepted that."
"We were very young, friends but not life partners."
"I didn’t fully understand until I was a few years into my second marriage."
"We both went on to have successful, happy lifelong second marriages."- DadsRGR8
Okay Then...
"Not a break up, but was seeing this girl off and on (because she wouldn't commit to actually dating)."
"Got sick of the yo-yoing, fired up Facebook Dating and met my now girlfriend for drinks two days later."
"When the non-committal girl came back and I told her I was off the market I said 'I'm just looking for someone who knows what commitment is'."
"Must have hit a nerve because about six weeks later she was pregnant."- BeefInGR
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphyName Calling Is Never The Answer
“'You’re turning into your mother and I hate that b*tch'.”
"I’m sure there was a more diplomatic way to phrase that but 19-year-old me was out of f*cks to give at that point."- shadowimage
No Thank You...
"Her, 'This isn't working out I think we should just be friends'."
"Me, "'Lets just never talk again is probably best'."- Schrodenger
Some People Just Need A Kick In The Pants...
"Not me but someone told my aunt they were breaking up with her because she was a deadbeat going nowhere in life."
"Then she became a doctor out of spite lol."- ResidentNeck4465
Greys Anatomy What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphyWhat The Actual...?
“'Sex is part of the reason I’m ending things'.”
"In my defense it was my first time breaking up with a guy."
"The man had a boner the entire time I was breaking up with him, he was crying, and he kept trying to have sex one last time during my break up speech."
"I was perplexed."- SinfullySinless
When They Go Low...
"I once ended a struggling relationship."
"A few months later I got an email from the person, and it was pages of everything I had ever done wrong in the relationship."
"I realized that this was why the relationship had been struggling."
"All these thing that had been bothering my partner, and they had bottled them all up inside instead of, say, talking to me about it."
"So, my entire response to this multiple page email with everything I had ever done wrong."
"'Thank you, that was very helpful'."- jacksparrow1
Young Love...
"'No one will ever love you like I do'."
"At the time, I was young and that's really how I felt."
"In retrospect, it was mean and manipulative."
"We're now both in happy marriages."- Formaldehyd3
Dawsons Creek Crying Dawson GIF by HULUGiphyA breakup is always bound to unleash many feelings we may not have realized we had.
Making a breakup one of those times where it is always wise, if not paramount, to think before speaking.
Curious to hear about regretful choices, Redditor tippytoes1216 asked strangers online:
"When did you realize you married the wrong person?"
Some realized gradually that something was off.
Losing A Sense Of Self
"One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself."
– mlerin
"Yeah damn. I'm about a year past a really tough breakup, and this hits hard. My friends all tell me they like the new me. And it certainly feels easier to be me. I don't know why I ever let it be reduced. I think she left me with a bit of imposter syndrome, but it turns out I'm f'kin' dope."
– thefrenchflex
No More Exercising
"When she sat me down and with a straight face said 'I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.'”
"I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller."
"She said you’re a father and it’s too time consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake lol."
"Catching her with another man in my car didn’t help the case to stay married."
– JD054
This Woman's Work
"Engaged not quite married yet."
"When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery... and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said 'why aren't the f**king dishes done?'"
"Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there 2 weeks later."
– Neverinfocus
Unfit Mother
"It was a death of a thousand cuts. One of the first was when I realized she didn't trust me. We had been together around 10 years at this point. But I had a moment of clarity and literally said to her 'you don't trust me do you?' Before she could answer I said 'you don't trust anybody.' And she agreed."
"She would routinely throw the kids out of the tub and the bathroom completely naked because they splashed her while getting a bath. And not just that, she would yell at the top of her lungs at how bad they were. The kids were around 2-4 at the time. God forbid the toddler splashes the water in the tub."
"Another time I don't even remember the cause but I tried to play mediator. As in 'ok daughter you did something wrong, let's apologize to mommy'. And she would. Then I'd ask mommy to apologize to our daughter for what for her role and mom absolutely refused to apologize. Ive known this lady more than 20 years and ive never heard her apologize. Literally never."
"The final straw was when one of our kids wanted a hug goodnight before bedtime. She locked herself in our bedroom and refused the hug because she had hugged them earlier in the day. Kids were crying. They didn't understand. I was devastated watching this unfold. Why doesn't mom want to hug me?"
"I try my best to not let it impact me. But we share custody now and I have to watch how she interacts with our kids. Its hard. The best consolidation is the kids are getting older and they're starting to figure it out."
– overarmur
Unworthy Companion
"When I realized if we weren’t dating I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend."
– dawn855
Some found out on the day of the nuptials.
"No Ice Cream Truck"
"On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars) told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck. Knew right then, sadly."
– StrangeJitsu
Inebriated Bride
"On my wedding day. We were married at her Parents house, a beautiful place on a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I find her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. 5 years later she went in to in-patient treatment and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce."
– metrology84
So much for the honeymoon.
True Colors
"It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry."
– gridironbuffalo
China Was Telling
"Got married. Went on a honeymoon in China. We were both PhD students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her 10,000 $ for the honeymoon."
"So we go to China to celebrate AND she wants to do some light pre dissertation research while there for a month or two. Fine."
"It turns out, I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels, while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to easily get to an airport to fly back home (also had 0 family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped."
"I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip and not at all like a honeymoon, how I was alone almost everyday."
"We were sharing a laptop while in the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school). I open the laptop one morning before she leaves to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message open on the laptop. It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip - our honeymoon. Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon w/ maybe a slight detour for research. It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden."
"She apologized. We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker. I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email."
– Mtt76812
It's pretty painful to realize that the person with whom you're sleeping next to is not, or never was, your person.
But if there's a glimmer of hope that you and your spouse are willing to put in the work for the sake of a troubled marriage, that's a very redeemable quality.
Sadly, this doesn't apply to all couple, and the best thing to do is to abandon ship before further emotional damage is done.