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Men Share The Non-Sexual Things That Instantly Make A Woman Attractive

Men Share The Non-Sexual Things That Instantly Make A Woman Attractive
Matt Moloney/Unsplash

Moment of honesty - I've often found myself lost in thought trying to figure out why my partner is attracted to me.

I'm a complete dweeb who snort-laughs at the silliest things.

I have a permanent resting b*tch face, but a smile that is much more Spongebob's eager face.

I come with ridiculously-named dogs, have like 17 hobbies that make no sense, am pretty much one big soft-spot/bleeding-heart, watch more cartoons and cooking shows than should be legal, and can't reach anything above the bottom shelf.



Reddit user MainSeparate2964 asked:

"Men of reddit, what's something non-sexual that instantly makes a women really attractive?"

Spoiler alert - almost everything on this list is something that either myself or a friend has tried to minimize about themselves.

We all know someone who has stopped smiling "too big" or laughing "too loud" or asking "too many questions" or being "too smart" or hesitated doing an activity because it was "too masculine."

Dulling your shine because you're afraid people won't like you only gives people less to like.

Laugh

"Genuine laughter."

"Someone who is comfortable being happy is someone people wanna... make 'happy.' "

- walk_through_this

"Yes this exactly. Carefree people who aren’t concerned about their outward appearance and are fine just laughing and being happy are amazing."

- thatonetraveler

"I would add that it doesn't really matter what the laugh sounds like as long as it is genuine."

"I've heard of people being self-conscious about their laughing sound and that's just silly to me, to be honest. A genuine laugh makes you very attractive!"

- stbtb

Hilary Duff Lol GIF by YoungerTVGiphy

Curiosity

"A curious mind."

"Finding the interesting side of things you have never thought about before, your partner's passions, friends' hobbies, a topic in a movie/book/documentary... whatever."

"You will never run out of things to discover and get excited about with such a person."

- Jimbo_Sandcastle

"My girlfriend is a massive book nerd and just hearing her talk about books and how some books made her feel is honestly the cutest thing ever."

"God I'm a lucky moron."

- cannedrex2406

"My ex was a beautiful and accomplished woman, but had no curiosity about people or things."

"She was very focused on only her goals - which is fantastic and means she will achieve so much. But the complete lack of odd and intriguing conversations or curiosity about others (including myself) and what makes them unique was difficult."

"I’d say this is true generally too. People are so much more interesting and fun to be around when they have a genuine curiosity."

- ColinHalfhand

The Melody

"Her face lighting up when seeing me."

- seeasea

"I kept running into someone who put a smile on my face the way my then-wife simply couldn't. Never thought of straying, just felt this little melody than never really fit with the rest of the music, y'know?"

"My wife and I split over other reasons."

"I ran into that someone again and found the same smile, that same melody."

"That was almost four years ago. I'm currently waiting for that someone to come home now, and we'll be having dinner together in our home. The melody goes on and on."

- walk_through_this

"My boyfriend always says he loves how happy I am to see him, how excited I get to see him, and how I smile when I see him."

"It’s genuine. I am really that happy to see him."

- mollylg311

One Liners

"A woman that can crack a great one liner on the spot is about the most attractive, non-aesthetic attribute in my opinion."

- Burjennio

"That’s a lifer trait cause when the rest falls apart at least whip smart humor is left"

- balldatfwhutdawhut

"Half the reason I fell for my girlfriend is because, when she first met my friends, they were cracking a couple jokes, and some were at her expense (nothing mean though)."

"Before I could say anything, she immediately snapped back. Instant 10/10"

- Walshy231231

The Atmosphere

"Being straightforward."

"I breathe the atmosphere, not read it. Tell me directly what you're thinking or how you feel so I know."

- I_Love_Small_Breasts

"This is so very important. None of us can read minds, yet we do have horrible habits of trying to do so."

"If we all could just stop trying to mindread and stop expecting our own minds to be read, all of society would benefit."

- truthseeker1228

"Yes!"

"I specifically remember this one line from the office where Kelly says 'Darrel is SOOOO complicated. What kind of man just says exactly what he's thinking?!' "

"That's what made me realize that I want to be like that in my relationships. It takes some getting used to, but works great. would recommend lol."

- moist_maplecrumpet

Plot Twist!

"Being well put together, like they got their life some what straight..."

"Otherwise it won't be as devastating when I f*cking ruin it."

- UpsetYet

"You get an upvote for the unexpected twist at the end lol"

- Affectionate_Wall705

"Damn, you my ex?😭"

- _anxious_lemon

"Dude! I think I dated you in college."

- mark_f**kerburg0

Waifu

"Muscle."

"It's a sign of a woman who is neither neglectful of her health nor overly concerned with 'the perfect figure. Just someone who's figured out how to prioritize getting in her best shape while living her best life."

"That's somebody who has it figured out."

"Also buff women are hawt."

- ArchDukeNemesis

Giphy

Hugs

"Giving good hugs."

"As a very physical and touch starved person if someone gives me a good hug I might cry and I’ll definitely think about it all week."

- MrHoneybuns

"Bro a hug from a girl you really like, and she does it from behind as a surprise, is one of the rarest forms of flattery that men get."

"It's actually a huge shame that more women don't do it"

- MainSeparate2964

"This is how my boyfriend won me over in the very first minute of our very first date. :) "

"He gave me a warm, generous, respectful hug and I thought to myself 'damn that was a good hug.' ”

- foxglove0326

Mom Mode

"As a married man, how good my wife is to our kids."

"How much they love her reminds me every day that I chose the right woman. I have known too many men that chose a pulse over the character of the woman they're with and end up getting f*cked up pretty bad at the end of the relationship."

"When I was a single man, I'd say empathy and compassion would have been the top two to get my motor started."

- valboots

"Good mom vibes are absolutely a thing."

- Tsiar1

Enthusiasm Over Everything

"Interest / enthusiasm."

"A thousand times this. Ten BILLION times this."

"Sure my wife is attracted to me, but she also loves movies, is psyched when we take our kids to renaissance faires, and likes weird sh*t that I dig as well."

"Does she have big boobs? Yes. Is she psyched about going to an old castle to explore history? Yes."

"Does she have an @ss that won’t quit? Yes. Will she spend 5 hours at a combination book store slash petting zoo? Yes."

"Did I bang her this morning before going to work? Hell yeah. Am I psyched to watch a movie with her tonight? So very much."

- Jaws_V_The_Return

"Keep living the life my man."

- literalilliteratekat

"Good for you two! Wish you a lifetime of happiness and morning sex and movie nights."

- niiightskyyy

Happy Hailee Steinfeld GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy

That's Hot

"Being pretty while dressing modest."

"Like, not feeling the need to show everything off. It's hot."

"I also don't mind girls showing everything off either. That's hot too."

"Turns out girls are just hot."

- o8unu

Plays Well With Angry Old Man

"Being nice."

"I have enough negativity in my life these days."

"A happy, polite, bubbly personality is amazing and it plays well with my 'angry old man' qualities."

- GingerMarquis

She's Got Moves

"A friend of mine met a girl in a bar we were at. This girl was with one of her friends."

"I wasn’t attracted to this friend so I just basically maintained conversation with her so as to give the other two some room."

"The girl was really cool so chatting was easy, but still not interested."

"At some point the girl gets bored talking, gets up, said she wanted to dance. I thought to myself: ‘awesome yeah cool, why not?’ "

"Guys and gals, those girls moves were something to fall in love to."

"I’m not talking about anything sexy or sensual or whatever, at all… just pure skill and, charisma?"

"I can’t put my finger on what it was, but my god, did that make her look like 80x more attractive, if only for a moment."

- DasThrowawayen

Us Army Dancing GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy

The Scent Of A Woman

"Scent."

"I spent 3 hours watching Batman today with a girl I’m kinda seeing and I could smell her the whole time and could barely focus on the film for wanting to kiss her."

"We’ve been seeing each other for months and spend more than enough time together but something about how she smelt today made it maddening"

- Melancholy_Prince

Not NPCs

"When they're respectful of the people around them; be nice to the server, the cashier, let the elderly go in the bus in front of you (in the same line of thought, offering your seat...), etc."

"I want to see you care, or at least know you're dealing with actual human beings."

"You're not in the Matrix, everybody around you is unique with feelings, experiences, fears, likes, dislikes... Treat them as such. All the people around are not NPCs."

- Maleficent-Bet-1371

Talent

"Being really talented at something."

"You can shred the guitar or sing? You know how to weld or scuba dive? You can paint really well? You know a martial art? Hell yeah. Skill is sexy."

"Having a sense of humor is also a really great thing. Even if you don't have a good skill, being witty and fun makes you enjoyable to be around and that counts for a whole hell of a lot."

"Just being hot and being barely able to function as an adult isn't great. Being a humorless mall mannequin of a human isn't what someone seeking a partner wants."

"Above all, being open and honest about what you want makes everything so much better. If your partner can't or won't communicate with you or you can't find an effective way to communicate with each other, there's no point in trying for any sort of relationship other than the most skin-deep sorts."

- Psych-adin

bass guitar GIFGiphy

Wardrobe Wonders

"Unintentional wardrobe malfunctions."

"If I can see a hint of a bra or the peek of panties it’s an instant turn on."

"Can’t be too deliberate though."

- pherring

Elation And Joy

"Reading these posts reminded me of what I enjoy when it came to a girl - like, her being genuinely happy."

"The smiles, laughs, jokes, that look in a girls eye when she is being mischievous and the smirk that comes with it, the innocent look they make when you catch them in an embarrassing situation..."

"... like mentioning needing to buy more cookies, and you turn around to find her shoving cookies in her mouth - and that pause as you two watch one another, before both bursting out in laughter."

"God, I want this feeling of elation and joy again. I haven't felt it since years before my Divorce."

- Captain_Blackbird

As for me ... yeah that whole list of things I was insecure about makes up the bulk of why my partner adores me.

He loves that I'm the "worst evil genius" he knows. He is totally into the cartoons, he sings backup when I bust out a silly song, he jumps in and joins me when I do a happy taco dance.

Oh, and the best part; he snort-laughs and he has a big goofy smile like Spongebobs eager face, too!

AND THIS MAN GOT ME A STEP STOOL SO NOW I CAN REACH LIKE 2, MAYBE 3, SHELVES!

Authenticity, fam.

Get you some.

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The Corporate Decisions That Were Met With Huge Public Backlash

Reddit user Astro_Shogun asked: 'What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?

Corporations don't get big overnight.

A lot of tough decisions, big wins, and sometimes even bigger losses, go into their growth.

But sometimes companies make mistakes that the public simply cannot let slide, and it can be hard to imagine how the company could stay afloat after the backlash.

Redditor Astro_Shogun asked:

"What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?"

Dang It, Photobucket

"When Photobucket decided to take the whole internet hostage by asking for 400 dollars a year for what was previously a free image storage solution. The move broke years of forum posting and erased a significant portion of the web collective knowledge."

- denpo

"Yup. And now they're holding almost all of my son's childhood photos (some of which I managed to save in other places) hostage."

- KnockMeYourLobes

"Browse any forum thread from the early 2000s and practically all the images are gone because everyone used Photobucket back then. It will be the same way with Reddit whenever Imgur goes under."

- NothingOld7527

So Salesy

"JCPenny doing away with sales and trying to present itself as a more upscale store. Sales immediately plummeted, and they reversed course quickly."

- flyingcircusdog

Cheap Jewelry

"Gerald Ratner said the reason his jewelry company could sell stuff so cheap was because the products were crap. It destroyed the company overnight."

- simplemtbman

Front Wheel Drive

"Ford, in the '80s, tried to replace the aging Fox body Mustang with a front-wheel drive, Mazda-based car. This was pre-internet, but car people got UPSET and deluged Ford with a letter expressing their anger."

"Ford backtracked, kept the Fox body around, and released the vehicle that was going to be the new Mustang as the Probe. It lasted two generations, but the Mustang soldiers on."

- StillN0tATony

Online Only

"Microsoft got roasted when they announced Kinect and always-online were required for the Xbox One. Took all the momentum they had from the 360 era and put them miles behind Sony."

- Jerry_Williams89

Childhood: Destroyed

"Sonic having human teeth."

- LightDash

"I just immediately pictured teeth in a Sonic milkshake and had a horrified reaction before my brain caught up to you meaning the character."

- Rolizas

Questionable Upgrades

"Very recently, T-Mobile. A company that 10 years ago called itself the Uncarrier by making a series of pro-consumer changes to its plans and the previous CEO built almost a sort of cult of fans of the company. Then T-Mobile acquired Sprint and got a new CEO."

"A couple of weeks ago, T-Mobile internal documentation revealed it was going to automatically upgrade customers on old grandfathered plans up to new plans, which were more expensive. Customers would have to call in to opt out of the change. 'They weren’t raising customers’ rates, they were moving them to better plans.'"

"Well, major tech news got ahold of that, and then even some local news stations, and T-Mobile quietly 'clarified' a week later via internal communications that only one percent of their customers would be affected."

- artimaticus8

Coming Together in Hate

"Anyone remember the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad when she solved police brutality?"

- vernon3

"Those moments are precious. There are a few things these days that bring everyone on the Internet together. That was one of those things. We all hated the Pepsi ad that solved police brutality."

"That ad had it all. Pandering, ignorance, arrogance, and talking down to their audience."

- notwoutmyprob

"And a Kardashian."

- Kitchen_action

With Every Purchase

"I couple of years back a local Detroit area car dealership decided the best way to celebrate MLK day was to give away free car alarms with every purchase."

"Nobody liked that."

- graveybrains

A Sale Gone Too Well

"Hoover UK offering two free flights to America if you spend £100 on their products. They anticipated that people would spend a lot more than the minimum required which would cover the approximately £600 value of the tickets."

"When the company was deluged with purchases around the £100 mark, they reneged on the offer, which prompted a very expensive lawsuit. The fallout was so bad that the UK division of the firm was sold to a rival company."

- Live-Dance-2641

New Drink, Who Dis?

"New Coke."

- PeggyWithPhatA**

"After the relations disaster, the public clamored for the decision to be reversed, and Coca-Cola released 'Coke Classic.'"

"Coke Classic soon had an even higher market share than Coke did before the public relations fiasco, and a new theory made the rounds: that Coca-Cola deliberately made these decisions, simply to gain publicity, and increase market share."

"The reaction from Coca-Cola’s executives was, 'We aren’t that smart, and we aren’t that stupid.'"

- Malthus1

A Tweet Turned Sexist

"Burger King stating that 'Women Belong in the Kitchen.' What they were TRYING to say was that they wanted more diversity. People didn't see it that way, and in the end, they had to issue an apology."

- zerbey

The Downfall of an Incredible Publication

"Here’s one there should be a public outcry about."

"Disney bought National Geographic and controls everything it does. This is the last year the iconic magazine will be available. I’m incensed."

- redheadMInerd2

(The writer of this article is equally incensed.)

Predicting the Future

"I feel like whatever YouTube is cooking up lately will be the next one."

- Just_Aioli_1233

"Tech companies sure know how to kill off highly popular and profitable apps, super quick. It’s interesting to watch it happen in real-time. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, all losing tons of followers and destroying their own stock."

- Eleanor_of_Accutane

It's easy to see how all of these mistakes resulted in huge backlash, sometimes at the total expense and downfall of the business.

But some of these mistakes were made by companies that are still huge today, and to a certain extent, that's kind of surprising.

Demonstrator holds sign that reads, "Drop this act of corporate gree!"
Patrick Perkins/Unsplash

Companies are typically in business for profit, and very few have the goal of keeping the customer's interests in mind.

But some corporations go even further to get more out of their customer in exchange for their "quality services" and as a result, the line between general business and scam becomes blurred.

Redditor jwwin asked:

"What is a predatory business that shouldn't be legal, but is?"

Students paying an exorbitant amount in tuition in order to seek higher learning should be warned there are additional expenses to cover for.

A Textbook Example

"College textbooks, they will release an 'updated' edition every semester but the information doesn't change. And then after you spent a fortune on the books the places that buy textbooks will give you like 5% of what you paid for the book."

– teethalarm

A "Double Whammy"

"Former Prof here. I talked with a book rep about this once and learned a lot. It is a bit complicated but worth understanding. Book publishers rely on large quantity sales to make any money on a book because the cost of production is so high up front (author, editors, printing, etc.). So, for a book to be profitable, it has to sell a lot of copies to spread the cost of production across all the books. A paperback in the fiction section might sell 100,000 or more. A textbook might sell as few as 1,000. So, the publisher needs everyone to buy the book to break even."

"Now add colleges into the mix. Somewhere in the 1980s (give or take), colleges saw publishers selling books and making larger profits on them than the college bookstore was making per book. So they got the bright idea to start buying used texts and reselling them. Before that, a text would come out and 97% (making the number up but it was close to that) of the students would buy the book in year one, 85% in year two, 75% in year three, 60% in year four and 50% in year five. A $50 dollar book would cost $25 to make (again, making the numbers up), sell to the bookstore for $40 ($15 publisher profit), and be sold to the student for $50 ($10 bookstore profit). Across the five years, the producer would make a profit."

"Then, college bookstores began offering students $25 for a used book and selling it for $40 ($15 profit - $5 higher than that of a new book). Students would then prefer the $40 used book over the $50 new book. But that cut the publisher's sales from 97% to 50% in the first year. Because they could not sell as many books they had to do two things: (1) raise the initial price of the text to cover the production cost in 1-2 years rather than 4-5 years, and (2) cut the cycle down from 4-5 years to 1-2 years to ensure that they got sales of the book. That is a double whammy. Texts that used to cost $50 now cost $300 or more. And they have a new version out every 18 months or so. Students refuse to pay that price and that cuts the sales numbers even further forcing the price up again. And, with new editions out so frequently, it is harder to sell them back to the bookstore."

"That's why you see so many 'course packs' now - where a professor will pick a few pages from a book to give to the students. I went from having nearly every student purchasing a text in my early career to having zero students with a text late in my career. Your professor probably dislikes the state of affairs as much as you do. I cut down what books I would select because I could not justify students paying that much for what they were getting. I would also recommend students look for older editions on Amazon and the like which got me in trouble with my administration because I was not supporting the bookstore. But, it was difficult to teach from a text that no one had or had access to. The University's desire to generate revenue from texts truly was killing the chicken because it was not producing enough eggs."

"So look for an older edition on Chegg, Amazon, or the like and match it up with what your professor is teaching from the new edition. You are right, it probably has not changed. Be careful for the problems at the end of the chapter - that is often where the changes are."

– BewnieBound

These businesses parade as services but they are notorious for taking more than what you're willing to pay for.

For A Future Owner

"Rent to Own (furniture, appliances, TVs, video game systems, etc.) The mark up on the interest over time ends up costing 4 times the purchase - or more."

– PartyAlarmed3796

"Well the trick is to not pay (seems to be what a lot of people do)."

– Expensive_Ad2695

"Which is why those places are so expensive and why they're actually kinda necessary for some people."

"They're taking a pretty big risk on people with no credit, and if a person with shi*ty credit needs a refrigerator or other necessary appliance, there's usually nobody else willing to work with them. Also, most of them report to credit agencies so you can build your credit through them."

"I'm not a fan by any means and I hate that people are buying video game systems and couches through them, but I still think they're filling a need."

– Pitiful-Pension-6535

Money Sucker

"Payday loan companies – they're like financial vampires, sucking the life out of people with high-interest rates."

– neonliolia

"And yet most of them are owned by major banks... hmmmm."

"Bank of America, Wells Fargo, US Bank, JP Morgan/Chase collectively all own the largest payday lender companies."

– Bramtyre

"In Canada, there is an effort to turn Canada Post into a kind of bank that offers basic banking services to the most vulnerable. Not sure what happened to that, but it was an alternative to check cashing and payday loan rackets."

– hobbitlover

Greedy Event Vendor

"Ticket Master."

– LTVOLT

"Agreed. We went to a preseason hockey game the other week. Tickets were $5 each but there was around $8 of Ticketmaster fees for each one and you had to use their app to get in the door because the barcodes change like every 30 seconds or something. It's ridiculous."

– darfus1895

Where can citizens turn to receive genuine care without drying up their financial resources?

Big Pharma

"Health Insurance and over priced perscription drugs."

"Wife is type 1 diabetic. Her pump is over $1000 a month WITH 50% coverage. $177 for just the sensor pack. We have the best coverage we can afford."

– Dukeboys_

"US pays the middle man for health care coverage. The middle man and the health care provider come up with "health packages" you can buy into, just in case you get sick. It's just sick how they funnel money from the middle class into this."

– dcoolidge

"Healthcare insurance industry. They can straight up reject claims you should be covered for and make you jump through near endless hoops to get them to pay for the service that is part of your plan."

– ColdHardPocketChange

All Out To Get Ya

"Homeopathic 'medicine' sellers."

"Psychics"

"Domain search engine registration scams (fake emails or physical mail that shows up saying 'your domain search registration is about to expire' and look exactly like warnings that your domain name is about to expire)"

"Fake homeowner warranty/car warranty scams loaded with so many limitations and exclusions they’ll basically never pay out."

"Multilevel marketing systems like Amway."

– 4wqrewtety

Losing Sight Of Kids' Well-Being

"From my experience working in group homes for youth are awful. The owners only want money and the more kids in care the more money."

– OddReputation3765

Going Nowhere Fast

"Car insurance."

"You get penalized for using it. Even just once in some cases."

– Effective_Sundae_839

"1000% agree. I was rear ended by a hit and run driver while i was stopped at a stop sign. Literally came to a stop for 3 seconds max and got destroyed. Car insurance wanted to give me 4k and shut me up. It’s called the nuisance fee. I eventually lawyered up and got 25k out of it. But like wtf. B*tch that’s what we PAY FOR, following renewal of my policy it increased hundreds of dollars a month and that was even after i switched to a different company. 'A claim is a claim regardless who is at fault.'”

– HitBackZach

Businesses taking advantage of their customers should be a crime, yet here we are.

What companies can you think of that legally continue to look after their own profitable interests above providing a decent service?

Two women looking on over a sunset
Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash

Everyone has disagreed with their friends, even their best friend, at least once in their life.

Sometimes these disagreements might even lead to arguments or fights.

Of course, the sign of a true friendship is the ability to forgive and forget, and if all is not necessarily forgotten, it eventually becomes water under the bridge.

Sadly, this isn't the case for everyone, as sometimes words are said, or incidents occur that are difficult, if not impossible, to forgive and recover from.

Bringing even the closest friendships to an effective end.

Redditor Duemont62 was curious to hear what led people to cut one or more of their closest friends out of their lives, leading them to ask:

"What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?"

Meow!

"She was a cat hoarder and when I talked her into giving up 20 she said that would help making space for the fall litters (outdoor feral)."

"I gave up."

"She had 120 cats inside her house."- MeowMix24

Not Even The Tiniest Gesture...

"I was run over by a drunk driver years back."

"Died temporarily and had to be revived at the hospital."

"Both my brothers told my best friend of over 20 years what happened."

"Not once did he reach out to see how I was or ask if I was ok or wished me well."

"I was hurt by it, but tried to make some sort of sense of it, like maybe he just didn’t know what to say or he was shocked by the news or he wanted to give me space to recover."

"Months later I’m home but still in crutches and can barely move without a great deal of pain."

"Reached out to my friend on the phone, talked a bit and asked if he felt like coming over to watch a movie, play some games and just hang out."

"I was lonely and missed him."

"He seemed enthused but asked if I could WALK to his house in December on icy roads barely able to hobble around on crutches to hang out there instead."

"He lived 0.2 miles from me and couldn’t drive or walk the roughly 5 minutes to my house."

"I stopped talking to him shortly after."- MitchConnor555

Victim Of The Bottle

"I had one where the guy was a horrendous drunk."

"Super sensitive to alcohol and would very easily slip into blackout status."

"When he would get drunk, he just wanted to f*ck with people and be a sh*t disturber."

"One night he was pretty drunk and we didn't feel like f*cking with with so we went out without him."

"We come home around 11 that night and he had a bunch of sketchy people in our house that we're also obnoxiously drunk."

"He was almost passed out on the couch after he had burned a huge hole in our carpet after going into my room and getting my hookah setup."

"I go upstairs and there are just random people I had never met just chilling out in the random bedrooms."

"Some people smoking weed on my bed."

"One random drunk guy was screaming at someone on the phone and gave the person on the phone our address and told them to bring everyone over."

"We kicked everyone out which of course was a huge scene and conflict."

"We booted the guy out the next day."

"Haven't talked to him since"- PutinBoomedMe

When People Refuse To Change...

"Maybe not anything dramatic but my best friend from university came back to visit his parents who live in the same city as me and we wanted to have dinner."

"I knew he was super flakey in university, so I made sure I kept my week open because I knew he wouldn't know when he was available until the last minute."

"I was so excited to introduce him to my fiancé and show him our new house."

"We got everything for a really nice dinner."

"The day before we had planned to have dinner, he texted me that he didn't feel like driving over from his parent's house (30 min) the next day because 'he might be tired'."

"I was mad that he was flaking on such important plans, but I offered to bring all the stuff for dinner and drive out to him instead."

"He said, 'No thanks'."

"I realized that he really didn't care about anything that was going on in my life and was still as immature as he had been in university."

"I decided it wasn't a friendship I wanted to maintain anymore."- kitskill

It Was All Fine Till SHE Came Along...

"He married a girl who is incredibly hard to get along with and turned into a robot."- Gua_Bao

Warped Priorities...

"Friends for over a decade."

"I was her maid of honor."

"She had 3 children with her husband, whom I was also very good friends with."

"I was very close with the kids, they called me auntie."

"I worked for her out of a home office."

"Watched the marriage deteriorate."

"She started a relationship with one of her clients after the marriage ended."

"She then started to treat her children like a burden."

"The new relationship was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) more important than her children."

"When someone starts to severely neglect their children for a new exciting f*ck boy, I have to walk away."- redrainbow76

Friends Don't Take Advantage Of Other Friends...

"They were using me for free rent and as a scapegoat."- Chicago_Synth_Nerd_

The Green Eyed Monster...

"After talking to a guy I liked, we found out my 'best friend' was telling both of us that the other person didn't like us/found us annoying."

"He would ask her to invite me to parties, and she'd tell him I couldn't come, or that I said no and that he annoyed me."

"She'd tell me that he didn't invite me because he thought I was annoying."

"All because she liked him but wouldn't admit it to anyone."

"When we finally realized, we got together and stopped being friends with her."

"We've been together for 11 years now!"- horton_hears_a_homie

Not There When You Needed Them...

"The last straw: showing me no support when my dad passed away."- didyoubutterthepan

What Goes Around Comes Around...

"My best friend of 10 years and her husband had a falling out with my brother because my brother chose to stay out of a situation they were having with someone else, another mutual friend of ours."

"He didn’t wanna get involved."

"I agreed he shouldn’t get involved."

"They got so nasty and bitter about it all over time, and ended up lying to my brothers new wife and told her he cheated on her with one of our other friends."

"I knew this not to be true at all."

"They continued to make up stories and lie to her about him and it eventually destroyed their marriage because it created mistrust and conflict."

"His wife already had a lot of mental health struggles and it made it worse for her."

"They eventually divorced."

"I cut them out of my life."

"Since then, they have apologized and admitted to making up all the stories out of hurt and bitterness that my brother wouldn’t take their side in the conflict they were having with someone else, but it is all just too late."

"My brothers marriage was destroyed and so was our friendship."

"No coming back from that."

"By the way, my brother didn’t get involved because they were the ones in the wrong and if he told them that, imagine how much worse their revenge would be!"

"They’re unhinged."

"And their own marriage has since fallen apart."

"Karma."- NachosandMargaritas

Some might say that any true friendship is salveagable.

Leading one to wonder if any friend you found yourself cutting out of your life completely was ever a real friend at all.


man holding book on road during daytime
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.

Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.

Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.

I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.

I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.

I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:

"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"

Think Positive

"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."

– Firebolt164

"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."

"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."

– tyrannosean

"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."

– 2catsinatrenchcoat

"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."

– raoulduke212

Sound Advice

"Poop on company time."

– 1320Fastback

"Well, sh*t."

– CampDreamy

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

– mrselfdestruct066

Everyone Makes Mistakes

"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."

"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."

– MaximumZer0

"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."

– super5aj123

Gossip Girl

"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."

– GamerMomLife

"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."

– super5aj123

"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."

– DeadStar800

Do It All

"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"

– PublicEnema11

"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""

"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."

– Cacafuego

(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn

"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."

– kbrown423

""Never cut what you can untie.""

"- Robert Frost"

– sophistt_

It's All Public

"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."

– CouchieWouchie

"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."

– FrungyLeague

"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."

– squished_frog

Protect Yourself

"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."

– DejectedDonut

"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."

"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."

– Zech08

Work Friends

"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."

"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."

– Mobtor

Education

"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."

"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."

"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"

"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""

"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."

"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."

– tacknosaddle

The Little Moments Matter

"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."

"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."

– mxxiestorc

Learn To Save

"Pension! Pension! Pension!"

"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."

– Grayzo

Money, Money, Money

"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"

– awileycat

"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."

– QuantumExileMusic

Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!