Be it to impress a first date, prospective in-laws, or one's boss, many people have a tendency to overcompensate, or adjust their normal behavior.
This is all done in the hopes that they'll impress these people by showing off their enormous wealth, remarkable intelligence or the like.
In doing so, however, their efforts to impress don't often succeed.
In fact, they might inadvertently find themselves putting these people off, resulting in an even bigger uphill battle than they began with.
Redditor NeonRunaway was curious to hear what things people tend to falsely believe come off as appealing to others, leading them to ask:
"What’s not nearly as attractive as people think?"
Your voice is the only thing about you that's deep...
"Dudes that are trying to do deep voice because of TikToks."- ashucream
Eventually, they'll stop chasing...
"Playing hard to get."- groovy604
I must be right if I'm talking this loud!
"Loud, assertive confidence."
"When you're not an expert on the topic."- Hullaba-LooSeason 2 Ugh GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy
I can smell your desperation from a mile away...
"Guys who drown themselves in cologne."- shoegazer44
You can impress me in other ways
"I am told that exotic sex positions are incredible awkward and physically difficult which will turn you off quickly."- Psychological_Dish75
I'm rich, therefor I must be desirable!
I" have a buddy who is constantly showing off his cars, watches, and shoes."
"He’s single and I’m convinced he’s doing all that to find a girl."
"It's not as impressive or attractive as he thinks it is."- dkwatkins28Balling Andy Samberg GIF by The Lonely IslandGiphy
Why has it become so difficult to talk?
"Those horrendous jacked up lips everyone is getting."
"Y’all look like you’ve had an allergic reaction."- Gr00vemovement
"Those massive lips."
"Just looks like you got stung by a bee."- level 1dana_ranger
The viral sensation that feels more like a virus...
"Tiktok boys biting their lip and rubbing their hands."
"One woman who stitched one boy like that said it right: you look like a housefly."
"Stop it."- Somniatora
Confidence, not arrogance
"People hear 'confidence is attractive', and think its attractive to be a huge obnoxious d*ck who thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't care about how they treat others."
"Confidence in yourself, like knowing who you are, what you like and being okay with it is attractive."- pancakepegasusMusic Video Good Job GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy
The best way to make a strong first impression is by showing others who you really and truly are.
Not by simply showing off.
Woman Mortified When ‘Incredibly Attractive’ Husband Makes A Scene After Server Compliments His Hair
We're not all going to think the same thing. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and all that. However, we can recognize when someone has clearly taken the time to focus on their looks, through working out, how they dress, or how they style their hair. This is no judgement, and it's perfectly fine if you want to feel fabulous some days, but there is an unfair stigma that comes with that.
The world thinks a lot of things about you if they find you "conventionally" attractive.
"What are the dangers of being very attractive/beautiful?"
There's a lot that immediately comes to mind if you're considered traditionally attractive, problems that you'll encounter any time you meet someone new.
What Are My Traits?
"Not knowing if you're actually funny. Or well spoken. Or talented. Or charismatic."
"On the opposite end, some attractive people (mostly women) who are really smart aren't taken seriously because people only focus on their looks."
No One Knows You're Real Self
"If you’re really attractive and also quiet, people think you’re snobby. Also, you get unwanted comments from creeps a lot."
"I constantly was accused of being stuck up and a prude when I was a teenager while I was most definitely neither. I was always nice to people, but I was super shy because I had painfully low self esteem as a teenager and thought I was hideous and boring."
"My high school self and my grownup ego thank you for this lightbulb moment."
Making All The Heads Turn
"you get a lot more attention than you probably want, lots of staring and sometimes people following you. Tension within your own gender as you’re seen as competition."
Social interactions or cues will be the most difficult wall to overcome. People you know and people you don't will assume lots about you, making a simple conversation that much more challenging.
"People will often mistake friendliness for flirting"
"I work at a hotel front desk, and the other night a man came down to ask for something and said, “every time I passed through here, someone else was hitting on you. Do you deal with that all the time?” Yes, and it’s obnoxious."
Never Knowing Where To Draw The Line
"Friendships falling apart when their partner is attracted to you."
"Friendships falling apart when you're genuinely trying to be friends with someone
of the opposite sex & they end up falling in love with you:("
"How much I feel this one. I lost all my male childhood friends because at some point all of them ended up falling for me and made everything uncomfortable or left after being rejected. Specially because well, everyone knew I had a boyfriend anyway (now fiancé, so yeah, a very solid, healthy relationship. Noone else had a chance)."
"Now I began to befriend a really cool guy and just the other day he tolds me "he needs a girlfriend like me" in a pretty evident flirty tone. I joked about "my fiancé finding the limited edition" to make sure he knows I have a partner. He tried to hide his dissapointment but I still saw a bit of it on his face after that."
"I find it so frustrating... I just want a bunch of friends to celebrate the Holidays with and prepare them special meals and surprise birthday parties and plan trips and recomend them songs or movies and send them memes. Not having to deal with unwanted attraction towards me."
You're One Or The Other
"People think you are flirting if you are being anything other than nasty to them. Then if you’re are nasty, you are a b-tch/a--hole. No in-between."
Whatever the case may be, you'll find a lot of people think the worse of you.
Or on a level below that, you'll see that people act the worst when you're around.
Unable To Handle The Switch
"If you become “unattractive” for any reason you may find it difficult to reconcile that you are no longer attractive."
"Examples: car wreck, injury, aging, disease, becoming obese. I’m sure there are more."
"If you’re used to being attractive and you identify as such (consciously or subconsciously) it can be really hard to come to terms with a change in that."
Too Bad. Not Anymore.
"You cant pick your nose in public anymore with all the people staring at your attractive/beautiful face"
Pain Is Going To Be Involved
"regardless of gender, i think some people would get obsessed with you to the point they'll harm other people to just get your attention"
Conventional beauty standards are bogus. Be happy with who you are in whatever way you want, so long as you're not hurting anyone.
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Moment of honesty - I've often found myself lost in thought trying to figure out why my partner is attracted to me.
I'm a complete dweeb who snort-laughs at the silliest things.
I have a permanent resting b*tch face, but a smile that is much more Spongebob's eager face.
I come with ridiculously-named dogs, have like 17 hobbies that make no sense, am pretty much one big soft-spot/bleeding-heart, watch more cartoons and cooking shows than should be legal, and can't reach anything above the bottom shelf.
Reddit user MainSeparate2964 asked:
"Men of reddit, what's something non-sexual that instantly makes a women really attractive?"
Spoiler alert - almost everything on this list is something that either myself or a friend has tried to minimize about themselves.
We all know someone who has stopped smiling "too big" or laughing "too loud" or asking "too many questions" or being "too smart" or hesitated doing an activity because it was "too masculine."
Dulling your shine because you're afraid people won't like you only gives people less to like.
"Someone who is comfortable being happy is someone people wanna... make 'happy.' "
"Yes this exactly. Carefree people who aren’t concerned about their outward appearance and are fine just laughing and being happy are amazing."
"I would add that it doesn't really matter what the laugh sounds like as long as it is genuine."
"I've heard of people being self-conscious about their laughing sound and that's just silly to me, to be honest. A genuine laugh makes you very attractive!"
- stbtbHilary Duff Lol GIF by YoungerTVGiphy
"A curious mind."
"Finding the interesting side of things you have never thought about before, your partner's passions, friends' hobbies, a topic in a movie/book/documentary... whatever."
"You will never run out of things to discover and get excited about with such a person."
"My girlfriend is a massive book nerd and just hearing her talk about books and how some books made her feel is honestly the cutest thing ever."
"God I'm a lucky moron."
"My ex was a beautiful and accomplished woman, but had no curiosity about people or things."
"She was very focused on only her goals - which is fantastic and means she will achieve so much. But the complete lack of odd and intriguing conversations or curiosity about others (including myself) and what makes them unique was difficult."
"I’d say this is true generally too. People are so much more interesting and fun to be around when they have a genuine curiosity."
"Her face lighting up when seeing me."
"I kept running into someone who put a smile on my face the way my then-wife simply couldn't. Never thought of straying, just felt this little melody than never really fit with the rest of the music, y'know?"
"My wife and I split over other reasons."
"I ran into that someone again and found the same smile, that same melody."
"That was almost four years ago. I'm currently waiting for that someone to come home now, and we'll be having dinner together in our home. The melody goes on and on."
"My boyfriend always says he loves how happy I am to see him, how excited I get to see him, and how I smile when I see him."
"It’s genuine. I am really that happy to see him."
"A woman that can crack a great one liner on the spot is about the most attractive, non-aesthetic attribute in my opinion."
"That’s a lifer trait cause when the rest falls apart at least whip smart humor is left"
"Half the reason I fell for my girlfriend is because, when she first met my friends, they were cracking a couple jokes, and some were at her expense (nothing mean though)."
"Before I could say anything, she immediately snapped back. Instant 10/10"
"I breathe the atmosphere, not read it. Tell me directly what you're thinking or how you feel so I know."
"This is so very important. None of us can read minds, yet we do have horrible habits of trying to do so."
"If we all could just stop trying to mindread and stop expecting our own minds to be read, all of society would benefit."
"I specifically remember this one line from the office where Kelly says 'Darrel is SOOOO complicated. What kind of man just says exactly what he's thinking?!' "
"That's what made me realize that I want to be like that in my relationships. It takes some getting used to, but works great. would recommend lol."
"Being well put together, like they got their life some what straight..."
"Otherwise it won't be as devastating when I f*cking ruin it."
"You get an upvote for the unexpected twist at the end lol"
"Damn, you my ex?😭"
"Dude! I think I dated you in college."
"It's a sign of a woman who is neither neglectful of her health nor overly concerned with 'the perfect figure. Just someone who's figured out how to prioritize getting in her best shape while living her best life."
"That's somebody who has it figured out."
"Also buff women are hawt."
"Giving good hugs."
"As a very physical and touch starved person if someone gives me a good hug I might cry and I’ll definitely think about it all week."
"Bro a hug from a girl you really like, and she does it from behind as a surprise, is one of the rarest forms of flattery that men get."
"It's actually a huge shame that more women don't do it"
"This is how my boyfriend won me over in the very first minute of our very first date. :) "
"He gave me a warm, generous, respectful hug and I thought to myself 'damn that was a good hug.' ”
"As a married man, how good my wife is to our kids."
"How much they love her reminds me every day that I chose the right woman. I have known too many men that chose a pulse over the character of the woman they're with and end up getting f*cked up pretty bad at the end of the relationship."
"When I was a single man, I'd say empathy and compassion would have been the top two to get my motor started."
"Good mom vibes are absolutely a thing."
Enthusiasm Over Everything
"Interest / enthusiasm."
"A thousand times this. Ten BILLION times this."
"Sure my wife is attracted to me, but she also loves movies, is psyched when we take our kids to renaissance faires, and likes weird sh*t that I dig as well."
"Does she have big boobs? Yes. Is she psyched about going to an old castle to explore history? Yes."
"Does she have an @ss that won’t quit? Yes. Will she spend 5 hours at a combination book store slash petting zoo? Yes."
"Did I bang her this morning before going to work? Hell yeah. Am I psyched to watch a movie with her tonight? So very much."
"Keep living the life my man."
"Good for you two! Wish you a lifetime of happiness and morning sex and movie nights."
- niiightskyyyHappy Hailee Steinfeld GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy
"Being pretty while dressing modest."
"Like, not feeling the need to show everything off. It's hot."
"I also don't mind girls showing everything off either. That's hot too."
"Turns out girls are just hot."
Plays Well With Angry Old Man
"I have enough negativity in my life these days."
"A happy, polite, bubbly personality is amazing and it plays well with my 'angry old man' qualities."
She's Got Moves
"A friend of mine met a girl in a bar we were at. This girl was with one of her friends."
"I wasn’t attracted to this friend so I just basically maintained conversation with her so as to give the other two some room."
"The girl was really cool so chatting was easy, but still not interested."
"At some point the girl gets bored talking, gets up, said she wanted to dance. I thought to myself: ‘awesome yeah cool, why not?’ "
"Guys and gals, those girls moves were something to fall in love to."
"I’m not talking about anything sexy or sensual or whatever, at all… just pure skill and, charisma?"
"I can’t put my finger on what it was, but my god, did that make her look like 80x more attractive, if only for a moment."
- DasThrowawayenUs Army Dancing GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy
The Scent Of A Woman
"I spent 3 hours watching Batman today with a girl I’m kinda seeing and I could smell her the whole time and could barely focus on the film for wanting to kiss her."
"We’ve been seeing each other for months and spend more than enough time together but something about how she smelt today made it maddening"
"When they're respectful of the people around them; be nice to the server, the cashier, let the elderly go in the bus in front of you (in the same line of thought, offering your seat...), etc."
"I want to see you care, or at least know you're dealing with actual human beings."
"You're not in the Matrix, everybody around you is unique with feelings, experiences, fears, likes, dislikes... Treat them as such. All the people around are not NPCs."
"Being really talented at something."
"You can shred the guitar or sing? You know how to weld or scuba dive? You can paint really well? You know a martial art? Hell yeah. Skill is sexy."
"Having a sense of humor is also a really great thing. Even if you don't have a good skill, being witty and fun makes you enjoyable to be around and that counts for a whole hell of a lot."
"Just being hot and being barely able to function as an adult isn't great. Being a humorless mall mannequin of a human isn't what someone seeking a partner wants."
"Above all, being open and honest about what you want makes everything so much better. If your partner can't or won't communicate with you or you can't find an effective way to communicate with each other, there's no point in trying for any sort of relationship other than the most skin-deep sorts."
- Psych-adinbass guitar GIFGiphy
"Unintentional wardrobe malfunctions."
"If I can see a hint of a bra or the peek of panties it’s an instant turn on."
"Can’t be too deliberate though."
Elation And Joy
"Reading these posts reminded me of what I enjoy when it came to a girl - like, her being genuinely happy."
"The smiles, laughs, jokes, that look in a girls eye when she is being mischievous and the smirk that comes with it, the innocent look they make when you catch them in an embarrassing situation..."
"... like mentioning needing to buy more cookies, and you turn around to find her shoving cookies in her mouth - and that pause as you two watch one another, before both bursting out in laughter."
"God, I want this feeling of elation and joy again. I haven't felt it since years before my Divorce."
As for me ... yeah that whole list of things I was insecure about makes up the bulk of why my partner adores me.
He loves that I'm the "worst evil genius" he knows. He is totally into the cartoons, he sings backup when I bust out a silly song, he jumps in and joins me when I do a happy taco dance.
Oh, and the best part; he snort-laughs and he has a big goofy smile like Spongebobs eager face, too!
AND THIS MAN GOT ME A STEP STOOL SO NOW I CAN REACH LIKE 2, MAYBE 3, SHELVES!
Get you some.
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There's no denying that the world is easier for attractive people. There have even been studies done on this phenomenon.
Attractive people get paid more, get considered for more jobs, and they're likelier to have much stronger social skills than someone who is considered unattractive. This isn't to say that attractive people do not succeed on the basis of their efforts and talents, but the hill is much tougher to climb if you're considered less attractive.
Suppose you wake up one day to find that you're drop dead gorgeous.
Just kidding – you already are!
But what would you do?
People shared their their ideas with us after Redditor _Lanaaaaa asked the online community,
"You're now the most attractive person in the world, what would be the first thing you'd do?"
"Probably still find something about my body or face to be insecure about."
Ouch! This is probably the realest response here. We all felt this.
"Replace my online avatar with my actual face, instead of some anime character."
How liberating! Poor anime characters... they didn't realize they'd be retired so quickly.
"Strip nude in front of a full length mirror and worship my immaculate jawline and my perfectly structured body."
Whoa, I feel like I intruded on something personal... get a room!
"Get a free coffee from McDonald's."
Wait a minute, they do that? I guess I'm ugly...
"Get dressed and go walk through a huge crowd to see how they react. Nobody ever notices me."
That's what you think! You'd be surprised. You might have a secret admirer somewhere.
"Walk around complimenting people and telling them how gorgeous they are."
Aww, this is sweet! They'd no doubt appreciate it. Go ahead and make someone's day!
"I'd go into acting. Why not?"
Why not, indeed. If you are most attractive person you will get some work even if you aren’t Daniel Day Lewis. And you can take acting classes after getting some small parts.
"I'd wonder how in the f*ck the world became so ugly."
I mean, fair. It'd probably shock you, being such a hot god among mere mortals.
"I already am."
I think many aspire to have this degree of confidence.
"Same thing I do every day. Try to take over the world!"
What's that sound? Is that the Pinky and the Brain theme song I hear in the distance?
Given all this, I'm surprised no one said what seems the most viable option: Secure a plethora of sugar daddies and modeling contracts to make bank before it all ends.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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