We'd like to think we're generally refined, civil-mannered people in most situations.
That, however, doesn't mean we have occasional moments of being undignified.
At least people have the decency to reflect back on their childhood and comprehend that some of their past actions may have been, well, just nasty.
Curious to hear of the things strangers online were embarrassed about, Redditor purplemnem asked:
"What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever done?"
Sometimes, people never make it to the bathroom. Hey, sh*t happens. And it really did for these unfortunate Redditors.
Brown Bottom
"When I was a kid, I went out with my friend and his father's family. We ate Chinese and after my stomach was hurting. I was the first one outside so I tried to fart and sharted instead. I was about to run to the back of the building to wipe and throw boxers away (it was night time) but they came outside already."
"I didn't know what to do so I got back in the truck. It just happened to be the kind where you open the front to get back door open. I rode all the way home (30mins) with sh*tty pants. They didn't say anything but drove with all windows down. to make it worse, when I got home I had to climb over someone to get out because I was in the middle seat so my a** went right by the daughters face."
Making A Splash
"I wasn't feeling well so I took a nap. I woke up feeling even worse, so I tried going downstairs to tell my wife."
"I was in my boxers and t-shirt."
"At the top of the stairs I puked so hard I fainted, then had explosive diarrhea. I woke up half way down the (carpeted) stairs, slowly sliding down it on a 'waterslide' of my own sh*t and vomit."
– Lamoron
The Soiled Seat
"I’m paralyzed from the waist down. One day at work I started farting big time and that made me nervous. Then it suddenly just stopped but the smell followed me around. So I’m cruising around in my wheelchair and I happen to take a peek behind me, down the back of my pants. Sh*t everywhere. Sh*t climbing up my back because my pants are full and the motion of wheeling around was pushing it up my shirt. The backrest has feces all over it and I swear to god it was making this squishy sound as I made my way to see my boss. I just told him I was sick and had to leave immediately because by now it’s really obvious and I want to get the f'k out of there pronto. I put towels all over my van seat but it was not a pleasant ride home."
– Confounded_Bridge
Escape Hatch Fashion
"Apparently when my dad was in Jr. High, he was running to the bathroom... and didn't make it.. He was wearing those 70s short shorts.. and shook his pant-leg and a big a** turd fell out, and he ran home lmfaoooooo"
"Dad why would you tell me that."
– LordBligger
It's easier to blame our potty incidents outside the bathroom on our innocence.
Fountain For The Youth
"When my sister and I were really young, probably around 5, we would use those little dixie cups to drink out of the toilet."
– yendornilloc
A Slippery Slope
"when I was a kid learning to ski i begged my parents to let me go pee before a run but we were already in line for the chairlift. my oldest sister told me 'if you have to pee really bad, that means it’s only a little bit! so just pee!'”
"i trusted her blindly but probably pissed myself for a solid 2 minutes. filled up and flooded my ski boots. my parents were not happy because it was definitely old enough to know better"
– badluckie
Losing Traction
"Not really my fault but in second grade I got a stomach bug, and my parents didn’t want to answer the phone so the stupid nurse sent me back to class. We were at p.e at the time, and I got horribly sick again, just as I finished throwing up a kid had kicked a kickball. The sound it made as it slid through my vom is still with me to this day."
– htxxalxx
Better To Avoid Bullying
"I pissed my pants behind the water fountain at school in like 4th grade because I was afraid of the mean girls in the bathroom."
– throwawaymeplease45
KIDdy Litter
"I accidentally sh*t my pants outside at some after school program at my school, I decided instead of going inside it’d be better to hide in the tube slide, take the sh*t out of my pants and bury it in the sandbox."
– Prestigious_Pass9599
The Experiment
"When I was about 8, I wanted to see what happened if I took of my pants and ran down the hill while peeing."
"...Such a bad idea."
– shiroboi
Leaving A Token Of Appreciation
"When I was about four years old, I was at a video rental store and shook out a little nugget of a turd that fell down my pant leg and was left by the video games."
– littleallred008
Classroom Poo-Pourri
"In 5th grade I used to shit tiny little turds in my pants, discreetly take out the turd and encapsulate it in my hand, get up to 'blow my nose,' then I would put the turd in the tissue and throw it away in the trash can. Teacher then wonders why the classroom stinks and can't find the source. Why did I do this lmao."
– Phantom-A
Just because they've grown up, it didn't mean things got any better in the body control department.
Labor Pains
"when i was in high school, i was so constipated, a poop as wide as an egg's length was stuck inside of me. i strained and pushed to no avail, and eventually had to stick a lubed-up finger inside, trying desperately to work my way around this monster and crack a chunk off. no dice. i ended up laying in the bathtub with my legs up in the air, butthole pointed straight at the hot water blasting from the tub faucet, praying that it would be dislodged. eventually enough chunks came off that i was able to poop it out, and it felt like dry, cracked birth."
– robodook
Liquid Disguise
"Pissed myself while I was really drunk and couldn't admit it so poured at my alcohol on myself to make it seem like I'd somehow gotten a bunch of liquid spilled on me. Since I was in a club that plan wasn't working, as you can imagine you can't just acquire that much alcohol for free and quickly, so I ended up trying to get into a sink in the bathroom and ended up getting taken away in an ambulance due to slipping. That sounds a lot less funny when I say it like that actually."
– Haloperi-Doll
Breakfast For Fido
"One morning I was getting ready for work, still naked from just waking up and not feeling to good either. I made the mistake of trusting a fart and small bit of liquid hit the floor, I tried to run to the counter to grab paper towels but before I could react my dog was already lapping it up..."
– Scootacus93
The Ultimate Sh*t-mus Test
"Sh*t my pants on a third date. Was crawling into bed for sexy time in her dorm. Didn’t realize I was food poisoned but tried to make it to the bathroom down the hall."
"Ended up leaned against the wall, holding my gut, sh**ting all in my pants down into the socks was how much I sh*t myself."
"EDIT: For people asking for Part 2 - By some grace of God, I had left her room wrapped in a blanket cause I had a legendary boner before my stomach became a poisoned sinkhole. So I waddled into the bathroom, trashed all the clothes I was wearing below the waist, and proceeded to empty my entire body into the toilet."
"So I came back to her dorm room huddled under the blanket and was largely incapacitated for the next day. She made me food for the next 24 hours and helped me get clothes."
"Now she is wife. So, advice boys, make sure to sh*t yourself to trigger the latent caring instincts of any potential partner."
– TheArchitect_7
So basically, "nastiest" incidents meant dropping a deuce nowhere near a bathroom.
The next time you're uncertain if your next flatulence would expel more than just fumes, make sure you make a run to the nearest restroom.
Otherwise, you might find your experience added here on this Reddit thread.
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Most restaurant menus have caught up with the times to offer plenty of options to patrons with various dietary restrictions.
Vegan dishes tend to be a top priority, with gluten-free options being a close second.
Thanks to these options, groups of family and friends can dine together and not be limited by restaurant choices.
But when there's a sudden break in routine on the next outing, it can be jarring when the vegan in your group suddenly orders prime rib or a juicy burger that is not a plant-based patty.
What the whaaat?
Curious to hear from those who did a dietary 180 after routinely nourishing themselves with food grown from the earth's soil, Capital_Brain2676 asked:
"Vegans that started eating meat again, what happened?"
Some people were told what's good for them.
Point Made
"I know someone who was a vegetarian for 13 years simply because someone told them they couldn't do it. I guess he figured 13 years was enough to prove a point and went back to eating meat after."
– ottersandgoats
"I feel like 2-3 years would be enough though??"
– WebBorn2622
On A Dare
"I knew a girl in college who did that. She was dared in middle school to become a vegetarian and... she just stuck with it. More power to them."
– ComplexWest8790
Some people were left with no choice but to ditch veganism.
Thanks, Mickey Ds
"Got cancer. Ate whatever my body would take without throwing up and that just happened to be chicken nuggets."
– BratS94
When Choices Are Limited
"Homeless and pregnant = eat what I was given."
– anon
"I’ve always wondered this actually. If a homeless vegan eats what they’re given. I’ve given homeless people subs in the past because of veggies, protein, and carbs (all necessary things) and wondered if they would eat it if they’re vegan. I’m sorry you’ve been on that road. I hope things are better for you now."
– Saltwater_Heart
The Saying Goes
"There is a reason for the saying 'beggars can’t be choosers,' you give what you can/have and you can’t always accommodate the person you are giving it to, don’t think too hard about it. Also, hope OP is doing better."
– Reikotsu
Certain medical conditions prevented these Redditors from sticking to their restrictive diets.
Cooking For Two
"I still eat mostly vegetarian food and have done all my life. However my husband was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and coeliac which means that a high fibre/lower iron diet is not an option and a lot of the substitutes aren’t gluten free. More often than not when he has meat I’ll leave it or have the veggie equivalent but there are just not enough hours in the day to make 2 separate lasagnes and sauce etc."
– Chanel-Chic
Troublesome Ailment
"As someone who has UC, that's very cool of you to cook a more UC friendly diet. I dated a woman for 6 months who was a pescatarian. Every time I cooked, it was something we both liked and could eat. Every time she cooked, she focused on what she wanted and it didn't seem to matter whether I could eat it or not. She was nuero divergent and had it in her head that veggies = good regardless of what it did to my insides. For anyone who doesn't know, UC is inflammation due to my immune system attacking the lining of my colon. So it's inflamed (unless you're in remission, which a fair amount of people aren't). Large amounts of fiber makes the food sit there longer and get more packed, which hurts like all hell being tight up against inflamed tissue. And certain ones create gas of an unimaginable magnitude and strength."
"Anyway, a fair amount of the time, I had to order delivery or takeout because otherwise, I would have been farting or sh*tting my brains out overnight. So I appreciate what you've done like you wouldn't believe."
– Wishilikedhugs
Bye Bye Veggies
"My gastroparesis diet led me off my vegan diet as well. I can’t handle legumes, leafy greens, and most vegetables. Hard to be a healthy vegan without any of those."
– Jefauver
When Vegan Ingredients Turn On You
"Yup. Crohn’s Disease ended my 17 year vegetarian stretch. I’m in remission now and don’t eat red meat but I am sensitive to several vegan friendly ingredients like garlic, onions, cauliflower family and now I can avoid them without starving."
–friscodayone
Cooking For A Full House
"Back when COVID had everyone in lockedown, myself and my roommate's family would take turns cooking dinner and it was fine. Then my roommate went on the NOOM diet, her daughter was diagnosed with GERD and couldn't have anything acidic, and her husband was diagnosed with celiac. Oh, and another family member disliked potatoes. I finally had to bow out. It was way too much of a pain in the @ss to cook a meal that met all of those restrictions."
– panda388
Sometimes, you just gotta have meat.
Costco Chicken
"Not my story, but a good friend of mine was vegetarian, very nearly vegan for over 10 years. One day she was in Costco and walked past the rotisserie chickens. Without thinking she put it in her cart. When she got home she stood over the sink and ate it with her bare hands. She had no idea what came over her. Her telling me this story is still one of the funniest things I've ever heard. She is still very plant forward in her eating, but she won't hesitate to order a burger or a steak when she wants it now."
– NotAlwaysGifs
Ravenous
"I went on a weekend backpacking trip with a girl who had been religiously vegan for a few years. It was a pretty physically intense trip, and the last day heading back was in pouring rain the whole way, so by the time we got back to our car, we were absolutely exhausted, filthy, and starving."
"There was only one restaurant anywhere nearby, one of those highway diners. We get there and I notice she's got this kind of crazy look in her eyes. I ask if she's okay, and she just says 'I need a steak.' I laugh, but she goes 'I'm serious. I can't help it. I need a big greasy piece of meat right now or I'm going to die.""
"Sure enough, she orders the biggest steak on the menu, and wolfs it down in minutes, and the crazed look goes away. After that, she went right back to being vegan like nothing had happened. The look in her eyes was a little scary to be honest."
– AxelShoes
Unless it's a matter of life or death, there's no way I can survive being a vegan.
I don't have a strong enough will power to avoid eating meat.
So if that day ever comes when I'm forced to make a major change in my diet that won't include red meat and you're around me all the time, apologies in advance for my perpetual state of being hangry.
People's Wildest 'WTF Is Wrong With You?' Experiences