People Admit Their Worst Mistakes That They Fixed In The Nick Of Time
Everyone makes mistakes, but when we say that phrase we're usually talking about something small like accidentally dropping something, or bumping into a stranger. Not every mistake is so benign, though. Every now and then we make one of those mistakes in life that leaves us making that face and wishing we could find the UNDO button. Sometimes, the universe throws us a freebie and we manage to narrowly avoid catastrophe. One Reddit user asked:
What's the biggest fuck up you ever made that was fixed before anyone knew about it?
Obviously we were clicking that immediately. A parade of terrible failure turned into glorious victory? Pssssh click it like you mean it, yo. We grabbed a few of our favorites to share with you, so kick back and enjoy these emotional roller coasters.
Way Too Many Zeroes
Instead of charging a customer's credit card for $150. I charged $15000 and it went through. I ran up to a private office and immediately called the issuing bank. Told them what happened and they made it as if nothing happened.
"Mango!"
Was taking care of my neighbors bird, and he flew out the house as i opened the door and went over and behind it. I shat bricks cause she really loves the bird and had it for a while, heard him chirping on the trees behind the house and kept calling him "Mango! Mango! Mango!" He came to the windowsill and i lured him in with food. Best believe i didn't let him out of his cage after that
IT Terror
Started an apprenticeship in IT and was woefully underqualified. I was given the responsibility of maintaining the intranet site for our whole department, obviously given a role that's internal so I couldn't f*ck up customer facing things. They underestimated my power. On one cheery Friday evening when half my department had gone home early I was experimenting on the site, creating and deleting test pages in a hidden area. I got two different delete buttons (on the same page) mixed up and accidentally deleted the whole site... there is no undo. I didn't have access to the change log. What I DID have was another tab open with the same site on it in edit mode that I forgot I had. I hit 'save changes' on that page and voila, everything is back! After changing my pants I went home and spent the whole weekend terrified that my boss would find out. They never did.
Fast forward two years, I've been training hard and now I design systems for our staff. Never f---- up that bad again. Yet.
The Golf
When I was in high school, my parents had a VW Golf and a station wagon. I had keys to both cars, although I normally drove the Golf because it was a GTI and a hoot to drive. Our local mall had the movie theater, arcade, and food court all near one particular entrance, which was normally my preferred place to park.
One Saturday I didn't have much going on so I got up, drove the station wagon to the mall, played some games, tooled around for a bit, hung out with friends, then got in my car and went home. When I got home both my parents were gone, which was weird, but I thought, "It's cool. I can watch what I want to on tv". So I grabbed a bag of chips and started watching some movie on HBO.
About an hour or so into the movie I realized.... "hey wait a minute, I didn't drive the Golf to the mall. But I drove the Golf home..... oh crap!" I realized my parents had driven to the mall in the Golf and used the exact same parking area I used. When I got out of the mall I must have seen the Golf, just got in it, and absent minded driven home. My parents were still at the mall, had been for over an hour (which was a record for my dad), and I was certain my father was in the midst of calling the cops to report a stolen car.
I jumped into the Golf, drove as quickly as I could back to the mall (had my mother seen the way I drove, she would have killed me). By some miracle the EXACT spot my parents had parked in was available, so I parked the car. I then walked the couple rows over and got into the station wagon and drove home.
My parents came home like 30 mins later. I asked them how the mall was and my father started bitching about how my mother made him shop for a new bedroom set or whatever. But other than that, it was fine.
I didn't tell them that story until I was into my late 20's.
Forgot The Baby
New baby arrived and pretty sleep deprived, my wife heads out for some shopping. She was not a happy camper
I'm getting ready for work, all organised, open the door and F----- F--- I remember the baby is home with me, just before I'm about to close the door.
Slink back in and sit on the couch til she gets home.
Baby would have been fine sleeping in the cot for 20 min but I think the marriage would have been over.
Cracked Windshield
Okay not mine but a mate. Basically when he was a kid him and his brother were fooling around and throwing things at each other in the yard. A wayward throw sent the projectile right onto the windscreen of his dad's car, cracking it.
They decided not to face the music and just went inside without saying anything. The next morning the dad before leaving for wok comes in and says "You wouldn't believe it. I was hosing the ice off the windscreen and it bloody cracked it"
Ruining Christmas
I used to work at a call center for a popular gift company. This one couple calls up and says "we need to cancel our order!" I look it up, and tell them UPS already has the order to deliver it. They tell me "You dont understand. We are sending this to our son and his wife. We accidentally put his ex wife's name on the card. It will ruin Christmas if they receive this gift!!!" I was finally able to call UPS and get them to not deliver the package. Not my screw up, but dang.
Someone REALLY Broke The Internet
I once was configuring the network firewall of the university I worked on and accidentally and without realizing toggled a switch that effectively cut all internet access of the university. I realized it only when someone in the room asked another person about the Internet being weird, then it hit me. My heart started racing as I went back and correct the configuration setting.
I cut the University from the world for about 5 minutes, It probably affected about 150k people, at the very least. "Internet glitch" was the official diagnose.
Nutella To The Rescue
Not myself but my Dad. Had the story confirmed to me by him and a number of his friends who were there too so definitely was true.
He was on rugby tour with his team and in classic rugby tour fashion, were being idiots in their hotel, drinking too much, being rowdy, that sort of stuff.
At one point it ended up my dad chasing one of his teammates down the hallway. The teammate he was chasing was in the room right on the end of the hallway, they got up to full sprint, the teammate got into his room before my dad could catch him and slammed the door behind himself.
My dad was 6ft 5in (195cm) and weighed around 17 stone (238lb) in his playing days, so he was a big guy. He didn't have time to stop when his friend shut the door and ended up going straight through it. He took it straight off the hinges and cracked the wood in a number of places.
They were due to leave the next day from the hotel and due to a number of other breakages and the team generally just being awful, the manager had said that if anything more was broken, they were to be thrown out and there was going to be full room inspections before they left either way.
My dad was a bit of a handy man so carried a small set of screwdrivers with him wherever he went and luckily he had them on this day. His team mates and him managed to screw the door/hinges back onto the frame. The issue after this were the cracks in the door.
The door was a dark brown colour with the internal wood just being some light brown cheap chip board like material. Due to this the cracks were very noticeable.
One of his teammates came up with a plan. In each of their rooms they had the standard complimentary tea/coffee/biscuits as well as a small tub of Nutella (no idea if Nutella is a thing outside of Europe but for anyone who doesn't know, it is a nutty chocolate spread, dark brown coloured, rumour also has it that it is actually nectar from the Gods) to go with the biscuits. Nutella, conveniently, was almost a perfect colour match to the broken door.
A number of their rooms donated their Nutella to the cause and they smeared the cracks with it to make them blend in.
Along came the room inspection upon check out and the manager checked each room one by one with them watching. Apparently they had left the door open for him in hope that he would not use it at all. He didn't look at it at all on the way in and just shut it behind him on his way out, the door with makeshift chocolate flavoured cement held together and he didn't notice a thing. They had got away with it.
As far as any of the guys involved know, the owner never got in contact with the club regarding the door over the following few weeks so while he inevitability found out about it eventually, the running theory goes that due to him missing it in the inspection, they couldn't be blamed however many days/weeks later it was noticed.
Invading A Country
I technically invaded Iran.
I was serving in the Navy during the War on Terror, on my second deployment, and was in Navigation. Our Captain was a little... eccentric? And he liked f---- with people. So one night he came on the bridge in his robe and fuzzy slippers and asked me to plot out 12 nautical miles from Iran. Which marks the shift from territorial to international waters.
My "mission" for the rest of the night was to ride that line. Either to let them see us on radar just outside of their waters, or just to give me something to do for shits and giggles. So for the next few hours I was advising course corrections and doing everything I could to keep us close to but not inside that line.
Except for the little slip up of forgetting to account for drift once. Whoops. So for about... 10 minutes or so the US Navy had technically invaded Iran's territorial waters. They apparently didn't notice, and I corrected it quickly.
In truth it's probably not nearly as big of a deal as it sounds, but at the time 21 year old me was fucking sweating bullets, thinking I'd just declared war on a foreign country or something.
Sh*t The Bed
One day after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up to find I had shat myself whilst I was asleep. I was absolutely horrified as you can imagine. I quickly showered and stripped the bed, taking extreme care to remove any trace. I was just finished when my boyfriend came home. He didn't suspect a thing.
Carrot Cake
When I was 15, I tried to bake a carrot cake, and I think I misread how much carrots to put and ended up with maybe 10x the amount of carrots you're supposed to make. Whatever I did, it became the mushiest "cake" ever.
Guests were already coming, and in a stroke of genius, I told my mom's friends, "Since two of you are bringing your babies along, I made it extra soft for them. I also reduced the sugar and increased the carrots to make it healthier!"
My parents' friends kept going on about what a thoughtful, sweet kid I am, baking a cake specially with babies in mind.
The weird thing was, the babies were hooked on the cake. One of the moms kept calling my mom for the next few months asking if I have time to bake that cake again. I did try to replicate it but I just couldn't so I kept pretending I was too busy.
I met her kid again when she was 11 and apparently, one of her earliest memories was eating that cake. Her mom told me I was the one who baked it for her so she was really excited to meet me, because in her memories, it's some mindblowingly awesome cake that no cake has ever compared to. I had to burst her bubble and tell her what really happened.
A Little Carpet Trimming
Dropped a hookah coal on the living room carpet and burned a dime-sized hole in it. I didn't know anyone who could fix it, so I took scissors and trimmed some carpeting out of a little spot in a corner of the room and superglued it into the melted spot. It's still perfectly camouflaged and mom is still completely unaware a good 7 years later.
Don't Tell Your Mother
My Dad blew up a lava lamp when I was about 12yrs old.
My Mom was working late ad he was cleaning some stuff out of the basement when he found an old lava lamp. Decided to try to get it working again. He set it up and had it on for a while but it wasn't doing anything. It had been laying on its side so all the wax was stuck on one side. He got impatient. We had a gas stove so he puts it on the burner on low. That got the wax down to the bottom, he puts it back on its base. It's still "not working" fast enough for him, so what does he do? He shakes it. The top blows off and the entire contents spray across the living room. All over my Mom's brand new La-Z-Boy love seat. It was her first piece of furniture that was white, and she absolutely loved it.
I had been taking a nap, and woke up to absolute chaos: sisters freaking out, Dad freaking out. We spent 2hrs using kerosene and rags to clean red wax and oil off the love seat, lamp shades, wall, and carpet. Somehow we got it all up, except for some red stains on the lamp shade, so we turned it toward the wall. My Mom walked in about 15mins after we got everything put back together. Didn't notice a thing, except maybe that we were all acting a bit strange.
We didn't tell her til years later, after we were all adults. I have never seen my Dad in such a state of panic, before or since.
Yes, we still tease him about it, 30yrs later.
Useless Boss
I was working for a large news organisation. We all MSN messenger on our computers (this was early 2000s). Meant to message colleague re useless boss being an utter tool. Sent it to boss. He was with someone and talking to them rather than looking at his computer so I break the land-speed record and basically shove him out of the way to delete the message, mumbling some excuse...
Please Don't Boil Renee Zellweger
I had my first job as a wardrobe stylist assistant. We were shooting Renee Zellweger for the cover of a magazine. I can't remember which one. The stylist asked me to fill up the steamer and turn it on. The steamer was one of those big ones where you can't see how much water is in it. I filled it to the top. Apparently there is a stick with a line to tell you how much but I didn't know it and had way overfilled it. After about 1/2 hour, boiling hot water starts spewing out of the steamer! Luckily, it spilled in the only area where there wasn't either Renee getting her make up done, or the very expensive clothes she was going to wear. I unplugged it and cleaned it up. Crisis averted.
Elmer's Glue
My brother got my mom a small western statue that had a cowgirl riding a horse for Christmas the year before he passed away. While moving the statue one day I dropped it and the woman's head broke off. I found the only glue I had which was Elmer's school glue and glued it back on. Amazingly, it stayed. She never knew what happened and I never plan on telling her. It was probably the best thing he had gotten her for Christmas in a long time and it would break her heart since it was the last thing he got her.
Yard Golf Gone Wrong
As kids my best friend and I were golfing in his front yard. He hit a chip shot right into his picture window shattering the outer pane. With some quick thinking we grabbed one of those copper BBs from my BB gun and placed it between the panes of glass and left for the rest of the day.
When we came back later his mom explained to us how someone BB-shot their window and that she called the cops and insurance. It got fixed and nobody ever suspected our golf ball.
Years later he told her it was us and she didn't talk to him all day.
The Salvaged Surprise
About 6 months ago when I bought an engagement ring I was so excited that I sent a picture to my girlfriend by mistake, having meant to send it to my sister. My plan was to propose as a complete surprise so this would have fucked everything up. Well my girlfriend came home cursing her phone because the battery had drained too soon that day. I casually said "oh, so that's why you haven't answered my texts, let me plug that in for you". Plugged the phone in, turned it on and deleted the picture while she was taking a shower. The surprise was perfect!
H/T: Reddit
There's something seeing a person litter that drives me up the wall. I remember being a kid and being explicitly told to hold on to my trash and not just throw it in the street. As a kid, I distinctly remember being made fun of for not just throwing the bag of chips I'd just eaten or an empty soda bottle into the gutter.
I can't imagine doing that. Why?! We truly treat this planet as if we have somewhere else to go.
After Redditor pnrddt asked the online community, "What small action immediately makes you dislike a stranger?" people shared their observations.
"Playing music..."
<p>Playing music or having a 'private' conversation via speaker phone in a public place.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginci58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LLCoolBrap</a></p>"When they exhibit..."
<p><strong></strong>When they exhibit a personality trait that I also have, and don't like about myself. Every time I find myself being dismissive or judgemental of somebody, it's just my own insecurity.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">iotangle42</a></p>"When I'm talking..."
<p>When I'm talking and they are not listening. Like they are not even trying to pretend that they are listening.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gincjto?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">eat-the-rich-07</a></p>"Because one of these days..."
<p>A person can treat me like a princess but as soon as I see them mistreating either animals or people, I am out of there. Because one of these days, you'll be on that receiving end.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginpr97?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">starlightradio</a></p>"It just screams..."
<p>Telling people to smile. It just screams condescending and a lack of emotional intelligence.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">3FoolsinaTrenchcoat</a></p>"When I hear that..."
<p>Grown ups using "baby talk" to try to get what they want. I'm not talking about when people goo-goo at babies, but when they use a silly whiney voice to try to persuade people or make people do them a favour.</p><p>"Aww, pwease hewp me wiv dis wittle pwoject."</p><p>When I hear that I instantly lose respect for that person, be it a stranger or someone I know.</p><p>Pet peeve.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginbwb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">handsahwill</a></p>"Okay, we get it..."
<p>One-upping people. "Yeah, that's pretty good, but one time I..." Okay, we get it, your life is more amazing than everyone else's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginhrkd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">well-uh-yeah</a></p>"When out driving..."
<p><strong></strong><strong></strong>When out driving, someone who pulls out in front of you, then proceeds to go 5-10+ mph under the speed limit.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuzzMcBeefy84</a></p>"If you don't..."
<p>Talking negatively about anyone who's just trying to have a good time in a fun setting. If you don't have nice to say shut the hell up.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio4vf5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">intergLACTIC</a></p>"When people..."
<p>When people put other people down to try and make themselves look better. "Oh I'm just playing around with them we're friends." I don't care quit being an @ss you know what you're doing and you should be able to tell you're making them feel bad.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio9p3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inf303</a></p>"If it's into a drain..."
<p>Spitting on the pavement.</p><p>If it's into a drain, that's fair enough, sometimes you get phlegm and you need to get rid of it. Going for a drain shows you're at least considerate of other, imo. But on the floor where anyone can step in it (or if you're in a wheelchair, get it all over your hands from pushing the wheels) is just gross.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginojq3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ghostmadlittlemiss</a></p>When you're in the market for a slew of very specific facts that all fall under the same general theme, the internet really delivers.
Forget streamlined public health capabilities and revolutionized human communication, the true beauty of the internet is all the random, barely useful information you can find when a bunch odd people decide to assemble and swap info.
Homemade TarantulaÂ
<p>"Dental student here. Black hairy tongue is a common condition and it's exactly what it sounds like." </p><p>"It's just caused by buildup of dead skin that becomes hair like because of tobacco use or antibiotic use. Usually combined with lack of frictional forces from brushing"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu9tdq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Alarm-Potential</a></p>Load Em UpÂ
<p>"When a patient gets a kidney transplant, they usually leave the old 2 behind unless there's a significant problem with them."</p><p>"The extra kidney is just tucked in the peritoneum leaving the patient with 3 kidneys."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu6qjd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MedicalJargon-itis</a></p>Come On Mutations!
<p>"Every single melanocyte on your skin (you know, the ones that give your hairs color, and your skin its skin color) is connected to your sympathetic nervous system via modified synapses."</p><p>"No-one knows why they're connected that way - but we do know that under stress, those nerves nuke the pool of stem cells that create hair pigment, which is why it makes you go grey."</p><p>"A few mutations and you could theoretically be able to control them and change color like a chameleon."</p><p>"So in many ways, we're basically walking cuttlefish."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuyo29?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PavlovaPalava</a></p>Play the Long Game, PeopleÂ
<p>"Humans can outpace any animal on the planet."</p><p>"No, we're not the fastest, but if we were chasing the fastest animal (cheetah) we would catch it and be able to keep going."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisujdr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bout3Fidy</a></p>Little Helpful CrittersÂ
<p>"There are little microscopic organisms living in your eyebrows, eating away at the dead skin."</p><p>"Don't freak out, they are very helpful and completely harmless, just a little gross"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giud33u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vid-Me-BossCheesburg</a></p>Thankfully That Filter is a Pretty Good OneÂ
<p>"Saliva is filtered blood. Your tears are too. And if you're too stressed out you can cry blood."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitshe5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>Imagine It All in a BottleÂ
<p>"I know that the average human churns out between 1 and 2 liters of saliva every day.... oh and we have parasites who are embedded in our hair follicles, and they eat away at our skin, thus causing Dandruff :,)"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisrxcc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Throwawayyy123451</a></p>So HotÂ
<p>"Humans give off so much body heat that in 30 min we can boil a gallon of water" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Financial-Ad-6050</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Rookie numbers" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuvqqt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nopenothappening</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Pshh I can get a gallon of water boiling in like 10 minutes tops" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuhji3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ridiculouslygay</a></p>Oh DearÂ
<p>"Old ladies often have prolapse of their pelvic organs. This means their vaginal walls got so weak that it can no longer support their bladder or uterus."</p><p> -Nurse practitioner"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitopxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">vespertinas</a></p>Working in a doctor's office means helping people when they're at their lowest. Sometimes, that leads to wonderful moments when the patient is thankful for all the advice and care you provided. Other times, it means taking something out of someone's bum.
Turns out, that second one happens a lot more than you might think.
For Fashion And Protection
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMwOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjkwNTU2OX0.6D-LIQ26JXH0-7OtPpG93HOtt41wAv62bGHMVvuAYpk/img.gif?width=980" id="7ff06" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6109fb5baf04f17deade8b58695881d1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />wound up season 3 GIFGiphy<p>I had a patient come in with lacerations to her fingers. Her blender got clogged and she stuck her hand inside to clear it. She cleared it and the blender resumed....um blending. Luckily, she had long acrylic nails. This helped lessen the impact.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitz5l4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Bornagainchola</a></p>I'd Rather Go To Sleep
<p>Guy came in after being concerned the bed sheet had stuck to his lower leg. Turns out hed been using a petrol mower the evening before and it had exploded. Full thickness burn to his calf. No pain. He wanted to go home to feed his cows instead of being transferred to burns and plastics. Man it looked like white leather.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitkqf9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DamaskRoses</a></p>Why Play Typical Catch?
<p>Guy was camping with his frat buddies and they were firing air rifles at each other with a baseball glove on.</p><p>The pellet was lodged well into his hand. Like, how did you think this was going to end?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitq7lt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Milesofstyle</a></p>Close Eyes Off From The World
<p>I was in the ER as a patient next to a guy who was brought in via ambulance because he super glued his eye lids shut.</p><p>He was high as a kite, but so was I from the pain meds I'd been given for my own injury. Whatever meds I was given made me think everything was hilarious. I got yelled at by the nurses for laughing hysterically in the next room. He was being a pain in the a--, ER was on diversion already, and they were not amused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/githxnc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">brubarbal</a></p>That's Why It's Called A "Dog" Toy
<p>A few stand out. Person somehow swallowed a spiked dog toy.</p><p>Someone tried to reverse his circumcision by cutting more of his d-ck off with a pair of scissors.</p><p>About every object known to man up the bum. 🎵 if you like it then you shoulda put a string on it." 🎵</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitnt24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bsn2fnp1</a></p>Yeah, But, How?
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjAyNTM0OX0.Esaobyl7Yq7QltSxli0ZwjggE7j8A4gu0uNRnn1ZwUc/img.gif?width=980" id="95a28" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f4eb7f0131c0d79db2de93fd2bbdc0af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>I've seen an internal vaginal laceration from someone climbing a fence while trying to see something happening down the street.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss2id?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">midturbinate</a></p>Again With The Butt...
<p>ER Nurse here</p><p>-We had a girl come in and who knows what she was doing but she had one of the thin glow sticks in her bladder, maybe some fun finger/glow play during a concert? I don't know but pretty wild.</p><ul><li>Also I had a Spanish speaking only gentleman explain why a shoe polish bottle was in his bum, we had to use a video interpreter due to the language barrier but it's was pretty wild to hear the interpreter say "I have a bottle of polish in my anus" after expecting him to just explain why he had belly pain. We also proceeded to print out multiple pictures of common types of shoe polish he used to ask him if it was "this one or that one". It was hilarious when he identified what one it was based on the picture, he had to go to the OR</li></ul><div><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AirFryersRule</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></div>Sounds Like A College Guy Thing To Do
<p>Had a university student who ignited a firework in his anus while drunk for the amusement of his buddies. It exploded, causing full thickness burns of his rectum, resulting in him needing a colostomy</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss6l1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ArcofRiolan</a></p>Wow...
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDI4OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDMyMzMyMn0.b42VhIpJrAsaFR19Cf55ZVkWnby5yTIrMhI73HVAImk/img.gif?width=980" id="3ccdf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50847094a4e17c16febbb35d2146f14f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />scared homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>Operating theatre - this woman came in with a frozen chicken stuck inside her lady parts. Apparently she had a habit of buying them, inserting them and then pulling them out, as she really had a thing for going through childbirth, but on this occasion, she hadn't allowed time for it to defrost properly /adequately.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mike_OxonFaier/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mike_OxonFaier</a></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>I love movies. The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations. But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic. I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials. The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.
Redditor u/fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking.... What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?