We go hard on A Goofy Movie around here. Tevin Campbell as Powerline is the real King of Pop 'round these parts. The perfect cast is standard choreography
I needed to tell you all that so you understood it is not an attack on the movie when I say Max sucked.
He did, and as kids we all totally got it and rooted for him. We were wrong. We were jerks. Who does that!?! Any of that!?!
The lies were ridiculous, never would have been sustainable even without Goofy playing the "lame dad" role, and the fact that it worked out is evidence of what a dope father Goofy is.
Glad it did, though, because the concert was EPIC.
One Reddit user asked:
Wrecking school property, deceiving everyone, sabotaging a trip, being a terrible person to your only parent, traumatizing innocent people just out looking to have some rodent-themed fun, and destroying a vehicle ... ... ... honestly are pretty standard behavior for "good guys."
Tink in Peter Pan is an absolute monster. She tried to get the Lost Boys to murder Wendy. The whole film is full of abhorrent morality.
To be fair, this is an older fairy story; and while still in the modern age was far back enough that they hadnt fully sanitized the stories into cutesy BS. There is still danger and risk and sinister things lurking in the edges of the world and the hearts of some characters.
Tink is a fairy, she is fey and so is her morality.
Kids In Cages
Lab Rats. The dad/inventor kept the kids in CAGES and it wasn't until he married and got a stepson that they got rescued. Then everyone was all, "oh well, good times!"
yeah, and don't forget that the main characters constantly physically harass their nonsuperpowered foster brother, even after he gets superpowers, otherwise, pretty good show.
Walled Up Alivethomas GIF Giphy
The Fat Controller in Thomas the Tank Engine bricking up Henry the green train.
All Henry wanted was a coat of waterproof paint or a break from work till the rain stopped.
Nope, brick up the tunnel and take up the tracks. '
F*ck you engine, you work for me!
Came here for this! Lol. The look on his (it's?) poor face. Gets me every time.
Nooooo don't brick me in for eternity, I only wanted to keep my paint shiny!!!
Brain Damage Makes You Perfect
Here's my entry to help get conversation going:
In the 2005 Disney movie Chicken Little, the school bully, Foxy Loxy, gets teleported by aliens and suffers brain damage resulting in a massive personality change.
When the aliens move to return her to normal, Runt Of The Litter stops them, saying she was now "perfect". It's then implied the two become romantically involved.
It was less of a "massive personality change" and more "massive brain damage".
Yeah. That was super creepy. He was basically attracted to her because she got an accidental lobotomy. That's some pretty predatory behavior if you ask me
In Wizards of Waverly Place the whole concept of the Family Wizard Competition is super f*cked up and immoral.
Basically when all the children of a family come of age they compete to see who's the best wizard, and the ones who lose are stripped of their powers. Imagine if we have our kids take a vision test and blinded the ones who fail.
Anyways there was a recurring character who was friends with the main cast who was later revealed to be leading a revolution to overthrow this system. The entire main cast labels her as evil, puts a stop to her plan, and then literally murders her at the end.
More specifically what happened was that they froze her solid to hold her in place while they transferred her powers. Then the village idiot came and knocked her over by accident, shattering her into pieces. They then proceeded to make jokes about her corpse.
Sportacus and Stephanie treating Robbie Rotten badly all because he didn't want to be active.
Let him live in Lazytown in peace!
Those two came to a place literally called Lazytown and tried to force everyone to be more active and stuff. If anything, Robbie Rotten should've been the hero for trying to maintain how the town should be
Sportacus and Stephanie wanted to establish a 'work will set you free' regime in Lazytown.
Threat To Society
In the 4th season of Winx Club, the main characters get a new power up, the Believix, and it is a mess. They each get a new power to use at their own discretion. Here is a quick description of what these powers let them do:
- Strength of Life (Bloom): It lets her make people believe in magic and help them overcome their weaknesses. She decides what qualifies as a weakness. She overrides a person's free will to make them believe in magic, which just so happens to make the girls stronger, and rewrite their personality if she doesn't like it.
- Dawn of Light (Stella): It lets her make people more cooperative and accepting. Basically, she overrides another person's free will so they do what she says.
- Breath of the World (Flora): It lets her make people show more appreciation for nature. Nice on paper, but it basically makes people ignore potentially more important tasks, or forego certain technologies, in favor of nature.
- Bright Heart (Musa): This is actually the most normal, because aside from the usual of making people believe in magic, its only other effect is to convince people that they can change.
- Gem of Mind (Tecna): To quote the official description of this ability: "She can use it to make people think correctly..." I think that's enough info. She decides how people should think, and magically imposes that way of thinking onto them.
- Spirit of Courage (Aisha): This is also very basic, the same as the first one with the added bonus of making people braver, but one use in particular rubbed me the wrong way. In one scene, she made a girl walk through a wall of fire to escape a burning building. The girl with water magic, just made a girl walk through fire. The girl with water magic whose best friend is on the way to becoming an insufferable Mary Sue, and whose fire magic can extinguish any flame with a snap of her fingers. There was literally no need to endanger that girl like that. They had two people on scene who could have not only saved the building, but also all six of them could have repaired it with magic.
Overall, those girls are a threat to society. They're emotionally unstable, have 0 coping mechanisms for when they get sad, and are basically demigods. It starts in S1. Bloom impersonates a foreign dignitary to sneak into an elite school. And Stella just brings random people to the magic dimension.
Also, at one point she used magic to disguise herself as a street cleaner, don't remember the context, but she then turned Bloom into a broom.
Musa once saw her boyfriend with another woman, and she just ran away crying like a kid. She has sound-based powers, she could have easily listened to what they were saying.
In general, by the end of S3, I found it easiest to just think of the show as a parody of the magical girl genre, and it instantly became much more enjoyable.
Mrs. Doubtfirerobin williams today GIF Giphy
As a kid, you side with Robin Williams. Rewatching it as an adult, the guy was seriously dysfunctional and his wife was absolutely right to divorce him.
He was pretty dysfunctional and didn't provide a great environment for the children until he pretended to be somebody else. He was only a good parent when he pretended to be somebody else.
It's also super super creepy that he disguised himself to get back into his ex-wife's house.
It makes me want to rip my hair out that as soon as she divorces him he's immediately able to fix all the things that she was begging for in the first place. Funny how he could manage to clean up the house and discipline his own kids once in a while when he wasn't going to get to have any fun anymore, but it's still too late to help his wife.
I know it's partly supposed to be about him learning to be a better person but "overworked woman divorces deadbeat husband and has to pay domestic worker to get help with all the basic things he should have been doing in the first place" isn't that heartwarming to me.
He keeps getting fired from acting work leaving the mom to support the family, then mocks her for 'choosing her career', makes a huge mess for her to clean up as well, he doesn't take their life seriously and then goes to extreme lengths to remain in the ex- family home
I apologize if this has already been covered, but Santa Claus is a total a$$hole in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...
I can understand the young Reindeer making fun of Rudolph's red nose. Kids are mean and will easily make fun of someone for being different.
But then Santa walks in... He could have set everyone straight right there. Explained how its our differences that make everyone special and all of that.
He readily agrees with everyone that Rudolph is a lost cause and even tells Donner he should be ashamed of his Son's red nose.
Until he needs him, then all of a sudden he's part of the group and useful and liked. That's some "fit in or go f*cking die" mess if I ever saw it.
Dipper's Worst Nightmare
Mable Pines from Gravity Falls constantly obsessing over failed relationships, typically at Dipper's expense.
Like the time she got Dipper fired from his lifeguarding job
Or the time she ruined Dipper's chance of getting closer to Wendy
Or the time she almost got Dipper killed by Gideon
Or the time she trusted a man who committed identity theft over her brother and almost ended the universe...
Mabel from Gravity falls!
She forces her brother to give up everything for her every time he comes close to achieving his goals. She only wants boys and is aggressive towards anyone who gets in the way of that, often including Dipper.
She never learns her lesson and gets away with treating him like a piece of sh*t the whole time.
A Hot Wonka Takeepisode 8 cigarette GIF Giphy
Hand over the reins of a multinational candy manufacturing corporation to a little boy who has no experience in the world of business leadership.
Who cares about a few spoiled rich kids getting what's coming to them?
The real tragedy is the entire race of Oompa Loompas losing their jobs and being forced into abject poverty in a country foreign to them due to the incompetence of a child.
It's pretty weird how cruel the Mystery Inc are to Scrappy Doo in the 2002 live-action Scooby-Doo movie.
They literally chuck him out of the van and abandon him in the middle of nowhere! And all because he peed in the van.
I mean, bear in mind too that Scrappy is a puppy, so he's bound to have accidents as he's at the very least only just starting to be toilet trained.
That's animal cruelty right there. If that happened in real life, the RSPCA or PETA would come for you before Scrappy had even had chance to starve.
There is no fathomable excuse for Albus Dumbledore to leave Harry Potter in that abusive household for his entire childhood.
There are many, MANY things that man said and did that makes his 'hero' title very disputable, but that one will always be noteworthy to me.
Big Hero 6.
Hiro removing Tadashi's programming from Baymax and sending him to destroy Callahan. He violated Baymax's directives and sent him on a rampage where he nearly killed his teammates.
Scene sends chills down my spine every time.
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Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
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Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.