We go hard on A Goofy Movie around here. Tevin Campbell as Powerline is the real King of Pop 'round these parts. The perfect cast is standard choreography
I needed to tell you all that so you understood it is not an attack on the movie when I say Max sucked.
He did, and as kids we all totally got it and rooted for him. We were wrong. We were jerks. Who does that!?! Any of that!?!
The lies were ridiculous, never would have been sustainable even without Goofy playing the "lame dad" role, and the fact that it worked out is evidence of what a dope father Goofy is.
Glad it did, though, because the concert was EPIC.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the worst thing a "good guy" ever did in a children's movie or show?
Wrecking school property, deceiving everyone, sabotaging a trip, being a terrible person to your only parent, traumatizing innocent people just out looking to have some rodent-themed fun, and destroying a vehicle ... ... ... honestly are pretty standard behavior for "good guys."
Peter Pan
Tink in Peter Pan is an absolute monster. She tried to get the Lost Boys to murder Wendy. The whole film is full of abhorrent morality.
To be fair, this is an older fairy story; and while still in the modern age was far back enough that they hadnt fully sanitized the stories into cutesy BS. There is still danger and risk and sinister things lurking in the edges of the world and the hearts of some characters.
Tink is a fairy, she is fey and so is her morality.
Kids In Cages
Lab Rats. The dad/inventor kept the kids in CAGES and it wasn't until he married and got a stepson that they got rescued. Then everyone was all, "oh well, good times!"
yeah, and don't forget that the main characters constantly physically harass their nonsuperpowered foster brother, even after he gets superpowers, otherwise, pretty good show.
Walled Up Alive
thomas GIF
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The Fat Controller in Thomas the Tank Engine bricking up Henry the green train.
All Henry wanted was a coat of waterproof paint or a break from work till the rain stopped.
Nope, brick up the tunnel and take up the tracks. '
F*ck you engine, you work for me!
- FatNino
Came here for this! Lol. The look on his (it's?) poor face. Gets me every time.
Nooooo don't brick me in for eternity, I only wanted to keep my paint shiny!!!
Brain Damage Makes You Perfect
Here's my entry to help get conversation going:
In the 2005 Disney movie Chicken Little, the school bully, Foxy Loxy, gets teleported by aliens and suffers brain damage resulting in a massive personality change.
When the aliens move to return her to normal, Runt Of The Litter stops them, saying she was now "perfect". It's then implied the two become romantically involved.
It was less of a "massive personality change" and more "massive brain damage".
- Satyrane
Yeah. That was super creepy. He was basically attracted to her because she got an accidental lobotomy. That's some pretty predatory behavior if you ask me
Wizard Woes
In Wizards of Waverly Place the whole concept of the Family Wizard Competition is super f*cked up and immoral.
Basically when all the children of a family come of age they compete to see who's the best wizard, and the ones who lose are stripped of their powers. Imagine if we have our kids take a vision test and blinded the ones who fail.
Anyways there was a recurring character who was friends with the main cast who was later revealed to be leading a revolution to overthrow this system. The entire main cast labels her as evil, puts a stop to her plan, and then literally murders her at the end.
More specifically what happened was that they froze her solid to hold her in place while they transferred her powers. Then the village idiot came and knocked her over by accident, shattering her into pieces. They then proceeded to make jokes about her corpse.
Gentrifying Lazytown
Sportacus and Stephanie treating Robbie Rotten badly all because he didn't want to be active.
Let him live in Lazytown in peace!
Those two came to a place literally called Lazytown and tried to force everyone to be more active and stuff. If anything, Robbie Rotten should've been the hero for trying to maintain how the town should be
Sportacus and Stephanie wanted to establish a 'work will set you free' regime in Lazytown.
Threat To Society
In the 4th season of Winx Club, the main characters get a new power up, the Believix, and it is a mess. They each get a new power to use at their own discretion. Here is a quick description of what these powers let them do:
- Strength of Life (Bloom): It lets her make people believe in magic and help them overcome their weaknesses. She decides what qualifies as a weakness. She overrides a person's free will to make them believe in magic, which just so happens to make the girls stronger, and rewrite their personality if she doesn't like it.
- Dawn of Light (Stella): It lets her make people more cooperative and accepting. Basically, she overrides another person's free will so they do what she says.
- Breath of the World (Flora): It lets her make people show more appreciation for nature. Nice on paper, but it basically makes people ignore potentially more important tasks, or forego certain technologies, in favor of nature.
- Bright Heart (Musa): This is actually the most normal, because aside from the usual of making people believe in magic, its only other effect is to convince people that they can change.
- Gem of Mind (Tecna): To quote the official description of this ability: "She can use it to make people think correctly..." I think that's enough info. She decides how people should think, and magically imposes that way of thinking onto them.
- Spirit of Courage (Aisha): This is also very basic, the same as the first one with the added bonus of making people braver, but one use in particular rubbed me the wrong way. In one scene, she made a girl walk through a wall of fire to escape a burning building. The girl with water magic, just made a girl walk through fire. The girl with water magic whose best friend is on the way to becoming an insufferable Mary Sue, and whose fire magic can extinguish any flame with a snap of her fingers. There was literally no need to endanger that girl like that. They had two people on scene who could have not only saved the building, but also all six of them could have repaired it with magic.
Overall, those girls are a threat to society. They're emotionally unstable, have 0 coping mechanisms for when they get sad, and are basically demigods. It starts in S1. Bloom impersonates a foreign dignitary to sneak into an elite school. And Stella just brings random people to the magic dimension.
Also, at one point she used magic to disguise herself as a street cleaner, don't remember the context, but she then turned Bloom into a broom.
Musa once saw her boyfriend with another woman, and she just ran away crying like a kid. She has sound-based powers, she could have easily listened to what they were saying.
In general, by the end of S3, I found it easiest to just think of the show as a parody of the magical girl genre, and it instantly became much more enjoyable.
Mrs. Doubtfire
robin williams today GIF
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As a kid, you side with Robin Williams. Rewatching it as an adult, the guy was seriously dysfunctional and his wife was absolutely right to divorce him.
He was pretty dysfunctional and didn't provide a great environment for the children until he pretended to be somebody else. He was only a good parent when he pretended to be somebody else.
It's also super super creepy that he disguised himself to get back into his ex-wife's house.
- Rows_
It makes me want to rip my hair out that as soon as she divorces him he's immediately able to fix all the things that she was begging for in the first place. Funny how he could manage to clean up the house and discipline his own kids once in a while when he wasn't going to get to have any fun anymore, but it's still too late to help his wife.
I know it's partly supposed to be about him learning to be a better person but "overworked woman divorces deadbeat husband and has to pay domestic worker to get help with all the basic things he should have been doing in the first place" isn't that heartwarming to me.
Totally.
He keeps getting fired from acting work leaving the mom to support the family, then mocks her for 'choosing her career', makes a huge mess for her to clean up as well, he doesn't take their life seriously and then goes to extreme lengths to remain in the ex- family home
Santa Sucks
I apologize if this has already been covered, but Santa Claus is a total a$$hole in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...
I can understand the young Reindeer making fun of Rudolph's red nose. Kids are mean and will easily make fun of someone for being different.
But then Santa walks in... He could have set everyone straight right there. Explained how its our differences that make everyone special and all of that.
No.
He readily agrees with everyone that Rudolph is a lost cause and even tells Donner he should be ashamed of his Son's red nose.
Da f*ck!?
- ScotchyT
Until he needs him, then all of a sudden he's part of the group and useful and liked. That's some "fit in or go f*cking die" mess if I ever saw it.
Dipper's Worst Nightmare
Mable Pines from Gravity Falls constantly obsessing over failed relationships, typically at Dipper's expense.
Like the time she got Dipper fired from his lifeguarding job
Or the time she ruined Dipper's chance of getting closer to Wendy
Or the time she almost got Dipper killed by Gideon
Or the time she trusted a man who committed identity theft over her brother and almost ended the universe...
Mabel from Gravity falls!
She forces her brother to give up everything for her every time he comes close to achieving his goals. She only wants boys and is aggressive towards anyone who gets in the way of that, often including Dipper.
She never learns her lesson and gets away with treating him like a piece of sh*t the whole time.
A Hot Wonka Take
episode 8 cigarette GIF
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Hand over the reins of a multinational candy manufacturing corporation to a little boy who has no experience in the world of business leadership.
Who cares about a few spoiled rich kids getting what's coming to them?
The real tragedy is the entire race of Oompa Loompas losing their jobs and being forced into abject poverty in a country foreign to them due to the incompetence of a child.
Scrappy
It's pretty weird how cruel the Mystery Inc are to Scrappy Doo in the 2002 live-action Scooby-Doo movie.
They literally chuck him out of the van and abandon him in the middle of nowhere! And all because he peed in the van.
I mean, bear in mind too that Scrappy is a puppy, so he's bound to have accidents as he's at the very least only just starting to be toilet trained.
That's animal cruelty right there. If that happened in real life, the RSPCA or PETA would come for you before Scrappy had even had chance to starve.
Childhood Trauma
There is no fathomable excuse for Albus Dumbledore to leave Harry Potter in that abusive household for his entire childhood.
There are many, MANY things that man said and did that makes his 'hero' title very disputable, but that one will always be noteworthy to me.
Bad Baymax
Big Hero 6.
Hiro removing Tadashi's programming from Baymax and sending him to destroy Callahan. He violated Baymax's directives and sent him on a rampage where he nearly killed his teammates.
Scene sends chills down my spine every time.
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Curious to hear about some of the more creepy indiscretions people get away with, Redditor Flytechofficial asked:
"What is perfectly legal, but creepy as hell?"
These things that happen in public restrooms can be considered criminal.
Respecting Splash Zones
"Using the urinal next to me when there were plenty of other choices."
Nightmare For The Pee-Shy
"hanging out in a public bathroom timing how long people pee."
Bad Timing
"I swear to God. I did a lot of work in hospitals for a while, big f'king hospitals with tons of bathrooms all over the place. For some God damned reason, regardless of what time or bathroom I selected to take a sh*t in not 30 seconds after I sat down a janitor would knock on the door to clean the bathroom. It's not as if it was one janitor, just some random janitor would inevitably need to clean whatever bathroom I was in as soon as I got comfy. It's like I was being stalked by the janitors."
"So now I'm trying to take a sh*t knowing full well there's somebody out there actively timing how long it takes."
Looky-Loo
"I was drunk in a casino and went to use the washroom. The floors in there were a polished marble or something. Sitting on the toilet, pants down, my stall neighbour made eye contact with me on the reflective floor tile."
The following examples involving minors have no legal repercussions.
Outside Watchers
"Technically, you can stand on the sidewalk and stare into someone's house through a window. It's not illegal as long as you stay off of their property, but it's really freaking creepy."
Keeping Tabs On Someone's Age
"A national newspaper having a countdown for when a child actress becomes 'legal' for sex."
"Answers to questions that will surely come. ....Yes. The Sun (UK). Emma Watson."
– pdirth
The Young Subjects
"When I was a child, we had a creepy horrible neighbor that would harass my family constantly. One of the things he did was stand at the corner of his yard and videotape me playing in a pool with my friends (we were around 8). My parents called the police but were told that it's legal if he's on his property."
These perfectly harmless examples can give you goosebumps.
Macabre
"Hanging your doll collection from the trees in your yard using string made from human hair."
People's Taste
"I believe the act of cannibalism itself is legal so long as you didn't murder anyone to do it. If your homie gives you his arm to gnaw on, it's fair game."
I recently treated myself by going to a movie theater after what seemed like a long hiatus for much of the year.
Streaming blockbuster movies from home, while convenient, has never made as much of an impact when compared to the moviegoing experience.
But after my recent trip to our local AMC, I'm beginning to think watching entertainment from the comfort of my quiet home is a much better option.
I forgot that a good majority of audience members are disrespectful and pretty much ignore all the rules—including no texting or talking during the movie.
The normal volume conversations and the number of lit screens from people's smartphone's in my peripheral vision throughout the movie were huge distractions.
Maybe as I'm getting older, my patience has worn thin, or I happened to have a particularly unpleasant experience. But seriously, how can anyone enjoy going to the movies when people are constantly updating their status inside a darkened auditorium?
It should illegal. Rant over.
I feel like if there is nothing after life, it just invalidates life. But maybe I'm just dramatic. I hope there is peace. Thoughts?
black and white two funerals GIFTogether...
"When we die, the whole world as seen by us, dies together with us."
"Yes it does. As does the entire universe. Only when we are alive can we experience the passage of time. The instant we die the entire universe will experience heat death and cease to be. It my take a million eons but since we can no longer experience time it will be relatively instantaneous."
- OkEbb749
Thanks Alan
"It's one of the great wonders of life: What will it be like to go to sleep and never wake up? And if you think long enough about that, something will happen to you. You will find out, among other things, that it will pose the next question to you: What was it like to wake up after never having gone to sleep? That was when you were born. You see, you can't have an experience of nothing. Nature abhors a vacuum. ~Alan Watts"
So Romantic...
"When I was much younger, I had a dream where I died. Not a typical dream, not a romanticized dream. It was a dream where I was an archer in a medieval battle. About 5 minutes into the battle, chaos was all around me, and I watched an opposing archer aim and loose an arrow straight into my left eye."
"I remember the sensation of impact, ringing in my ears, and falling to the ground. I remember the warmth of the blood on my face. The feeling of life leaving my body, and the sense of worry evaporating into warmth and peace as the world left behind me."
"I remember waking up shortly after thinking that the feeling and reality of that experience was so vivid and so detailed that it must have been an experience from a previous incarnation hundreds of years ago. From that moment on, I've never feared the actual process of death. I feel like I've experienced it many times before."
Erase
Computer Reaction GIFGiphy"I think one of your best friends delete's your browsing history."
"Take the hard drive out of my computer at home… Put it in the bath… And make sure it's completely wiped. -Tensai Slime"
If you love me... rule number one... HIDE THE EVIDENCE!!! Let that be heard far and wide. And dreams, always so intertwined aren't they?
Before & After
Happy Baby GIFGiphy"Exactly the same as before you were born."
- whumoon
"I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. -Mark Twain"
Moving On...
"We clean the bed and assign it to another patient."
"The REAL reason why nurses are so dark. 90 year old man in hospice got hit by a car on his way to get fitted for his funeral tuxedo, and didn't have a DNR. Kept him alive for four hours, and now it's time to document everything that was done to save his life because there will inevitably be a lawsuit from a family member who has had four years to say goodbye but somehow didn't get to."
Again...
"Play again?
Yes
[No]
I don't know what they mean or how to utilize them. I'm a Buddhist (but a gamer first and foremost) so it's cool you guys made those connections This totally makes up for r/movies continuously banning me."
Oblivion...
"I've answered this one before but here it is again. Either two things happen after you die: you either go somewhere or it's oblivion. If it is oblivion, then we're just going back to the same place before we were born and there's nothing wrong with that. We were there for billions or trillions of years, possibly infinity."
"You lose that concept of time since your brain doesn't work anymore so you don't even know it's over. It's not nothing because nothing would be something and that means that you are aware, which you can not be if you're dead. If we do go somewhere, then that's something no one understands because no one has ever come back to tell us."
"Those stories of people coming back after they "died" and "saw stuff" weren't really dead. Their hearts stopped but their brains were still working. If the Universe continues to recycle itself infinitely, then there's a chance we will be reborn or continuously reborn but have no memory of our previous selves."
- jamoh20
On Holiday
"When I was a kid I drowned while on holiday with my family, a giant fat man jumped in the pool on top of me and no one noticed till I was on the bottom of the pool. I remember the feeling of my lungs being on fire, then shivering then as everything was going dark a strange sense of peace and I was ok with it, No panic or terror then it went black."
"I was resuscitated at the side of the pool a few minutes later. I remember nothing from the black to being "alive" again. I was around 7 when it happened and since then I've been strangely at peace with the fact that one day I will die and slip into the dark void of nothingness. Hope that helps."
Popcorn?
500 days of summer cinema GIFGiphy"You wake up in a chair in a cinema and learn that the other are past lives of you and you're about to watch your next life very soon on the big screen."
The truth is none of us know the truth. We live everyday with the afterlife being a gamble. And that seems like it's going to have to be enough.
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