"The woman at a nice clothing store..."

This woman at a nice clothing store was buying a dress for her husband's work holiday party. She was telling everyone he was a director at his firm and managed all these high end clients. The more she talked about the party, the more I realized her husband and I worked for the same company. I asked her who her husband was and when she said his name I had to fight back laughter. He was not a director, not even close to one. I told her I knew her husband, we worked in the same department. She turned beet red and shut up bragging.

tikanique

"Really bro?"

How 'tough' their body was, in that laxative tea and even and enema did nothing for them. Really bro? You're bragging about how constipated you are?

Cool_Extent

"I went from duly impressed..."

The triathlon she ran. Hear me out:

At first I was impressed: it wasn't any old triathlon, it was an iron man, which is a crazy feat and she should rightly be proud.

Then she kept going. And going, and going. Every conversation topic, every time she had a chance to speak, over and over for the entire evening she'd steer the discussion back to her iron man. To be clear, she hadn't run it recently, it was something she did once nearly a decade before. It got so bad I started genuinely wondering if she had ever talked about anything else at any point in her life since.

And when I say any topic, I mean any topic. We were eating dinner so we tried discussing the wine: "when I was training I had to stop drinking all wine from this region and that, and I could only blah blah blah". Food: "I knew about avoiding carbs for years before it was a fad, you only eat them before the iron man something something" Politics: "The city tried to change our route, and we had to etc and so forth."

Other sports: "You know, some people say training for the iron man is more intense than NHL hockey". We got a detailed breakdown of the fucking weather at each stage "this race takes so you have to worry about changing weather!" It was unbelievable. I went from duly impressed, to irritated, to having to stifle a laugh every time she opened her mouth.

andForMe

"He was smart..."

My friend bragged about not sleeping for 3 days studying for math Econ/calc finals. Fell asleep during the exam. Shame. He was smart and would probably have aced it if well rested. Had to retake, from what I remember. He discovered Adderall that semester and thought he was invincible.

_Pornosonic_

"In paramedic school..."

In paramedic school there was a dude that would often brag and/or flex by declaring "I was in this class last year." As in failed. And is repeating. And thinks that's going to give him an edge.

pumpnectar9

"To this day..."

I had a regular brag to me about his 8 children, by 5 different women.

To this day, I still don't know how he found that to be an accomplishment.

plantinconcrete

"Seriously."

Credit card debt.

Seriously. I was at a weird dinner party thing and they were trying to one up each other on who had more debt.

scott60561

"My little bro..."

My little bro (teenager) bragged to me that he and his friends drank medicinal alcohol... he thought it was hardcore.

Ioa_3k

"I was at least..."

I was at least 32-34 ish when I met Jeremy at work one day. He was a new building engineer at a stadium complex around my age. He starts telling me a story about how he impressed (you sure did big guy) a girl once at a party speaking about tantric sex. All I could think, ahole if you're any good at something you don't need to tell people. But his bragging made me think he was a virgin living in his mom's basement.

And I'm a dude, so not sure why he was trying to impress me with his ability to impress girls.

team_evil