As someone who learned to drive in South Florida, I can say with full and complete confidence that I ... probably shouldn't have a driver's license or at least should only be allowed to drive in Florida.
Driving here is like driving on easy mode. We don't really have hills or mountains. No need for snow tires. I can't remember the last time I had to parallel park...
If you can get past the fact that about 70% of the other drivers on the road might actually be blind and earless ghoulish undead, based on their driving awareness, driving here is cake!
Reddit user Wolfies_Games asked:
"What's the most important thing to learn to be a good driver?"
So let's talk about some stuff the drivers here know nada about!
Paying Attention
"Pay attention."
"The amount of distracted drivers out there is insane. If you pay attention and maintain situational awareness you’ll be able to react to situations before they become accidents."
- Nasmix
"This was mine as well."
"Pay attention!"
"Driving becomes so mundane and mindless that it's crazy easy to get distracted or to expect everyone to behave as expected. Some people don't behave in the expected way and you won't see it until its too late if you're sending a text or trying to grab something out of the back seat."
- apollymii
"This! Also, don’t lose your focus becuase someone else is driving badly. I notice this happening to me. Every time there’s someone driving weird, chances are 30 seconds later I find myself thinking about that incident instead of paying attention to what’s happening presently."
- ConfidentValue6387
"I think it's best to pretend like everyone on the road is a dangerous idiot. It helps you avoid many crashes because you can anticipate people doing stupid things."
- i_dont_care_1943
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Be Predictable
"A good driver is a predictable driver."
- WhiffMyAnus
"This is especially important to remember when driving on GPS in an unknown place. Sometimes you end up in the wrong lane, just follow through and take the wrong turn, don't make erratic last-minute lane changes."
- TheBrain85
"Be predictable not polite is the best advice I ever got about driving."
- bcorr12
"Glad this is the top comment. I hate when i get to a stop sign 1 second after someone else and they're trying to be nice by letting me go first. No, you get to the stop sign first, you go first. You are being more dangerous by being less predictable and not following the rules of the road."
- Bilbo_Bagels
"Came here to say this."
"Especially around trucks, trains, or anything heavier than average. Predictable is the safest way to be."
- Medium-Put-4976
D-Fence
"Many drivers ignore right-of-way. Drive defensively."
- Heckin_good_time
"Right of way is not something you HAVE, it is something you are GIVEN."
"A lesson from my dad. Never expect someone to cede the right of way. Just wait and watch what they're doing."
- shaidyn
"My mother always told me "Assume the other driver will do the wrong thing" and "Nice drivers are how accidents happen" meaning for example if you wave someone on and they don't have the right of way and other drivers don't notice you can cause as accident."
- Ty_J_Bryan
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No Sleepy Driving
"Never try to drive if you're feeling sleepy. The amount of preventable deaths caused by this is unfortunate."
"If you're driving and feel sleepy half way, find ways to keep you awake (chewing gum works great) long enough to find a safe place to park and get 5-10mins of shut eye."
- kctheboy3
"Exactly!!! Sleepy drivers can't react. And even if they react, they won't be fully capable to prevent an accident"
- Wolfies_Games
"I don't know about elsewhere, but the advice in my country (and on the theory test here) isn't to have a nap, having a 10-25 break and a coffee is recommended. Having a nap can make you more groggy and less aware"
- Felicfelic
"My friend who would stay up for days at a time doing questionable things swears that the only thing that can truly keep you awake is talking to someone. So if nobody is with you, calling someone and having it on speaker might do the trick."
- miss_misery__
"Yup! I once fell asleep driving on the highway and am somehow still alive to tell it. Hit the rumble strip and opened my eyes with enough time to yank the wheel back, somehow missed the cars around me, fishtailed for what felt like forever but probably was maybe 2 seconds, then just kept on like nothing happened. I should have died that day. I have no idea how I avoided everything and everyone."
- justbrowsing987654
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Grandma's Wisdom
"My grandma taught me this rule when she took me driving: Always assume that everyone else is going to do something stupid. It's served me well."
"EDIT: One thing I wanted to add too. BE PATIENT WITH PEOPLE LEARNING TO DRIVE!"
"Don't forget that you were once that learner driver behind the wheel, terrified of handling a giant hunk of metal on wheels, trying not to hurt anyone. It can be a difficult thing to pick up and you shouldn't honk or get mad at learner drivers for making mistakes, they are LITERALLY LEARNING TO DRIVE and you getting angry is just going to rattle their confidence."
- TrueDeadBling
"Patient with learners? Yes please. I had an instructor who would frequently just freak out and start shaking because, 'See that car three back in the other lane? HE HAS A BEARD!' or something trivial like that."
"He acted like it was a nuclear crisis. I did not benefit from those lessons other than situational awareness in that sometimes the passenger is a really weird person who says stupid things that can be quite distracting."
- lawnmowersarealive
"I totally agree with your grandma, wise words of her"
"Driving casually is not hard, but driving abiding all the rules or driving fast on a track, that's hard."
- Wolfies_Games
Leave Space For Stopping
"Stay off the tail of the vehicle ahead of you."
"I knew a guy who would, for reasons unknown, look 90° to the left and accelerate when brake lights appeared ahead. We'd basically roar up onto them and I'd have to scream 'STOP!!' Put me into atrial fib more than once. No reason at all to do that-- no idea what he was doing."
- hmmm_thought_pig
"ALWAYS keep safe distance of the car in front and pay attention to road!"
"Hope you all were alright tho! Things like these are very stressful"
- Wolfies_Games
"Exactly. I was going to say dont fucking tailgate people. You are basically relying on your own reflexes and hoping the person in front of you doesn’t slam on their brakes for some reason."
My mom tailgates like a mofo sometimes and then tries to be bold and check her email on her phone and shit. I just take her phone and read it to her. She’s a menace but never been in a bad accident (knock on all the wood)."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Car-sonal SpaceUSE YOUR DAMN SIGNALS!
"I’ve taught numerous people to drive and I’m surprised I haven’t seen this in the responses but always keep a box of air around your car. It’s size varies with your speed but you need to always be checking your mirrors so that you have space on all sides to maneuver. You can’t be defensive if you have nowhere to go."
- Chewbagus
"I totally agree, you never want to stay in other people's blind spots or around them, it just makes an unsafe pack where everything will go down together"
- Wolfies_Games
"The amount of people that will just coast in my blind spot or directly next to me is unreal."
"I don't know how it doesn't immediately make them uncomfortable."
- MangoMambo
" 'Box of air'. I like the phrasing. I described it as “checkerboard” to my kids teaching them. Space open front, back, both sides. That way you always have a direction to bail. Never speed match a car to your left or right. Put yourself on their diagonal ahead of your blind spot or behind their blind spot."
- psgrue
Signal Your Turn
"USE YOUR DAMN SIGNALS!"
- BMoney8600
"AND TURN THEM ON BEFORE ACTUALLY DOING THE DAMN TURN!!!"
- Wolfies_Games
"YES"
- __Im_Dead_Inside_
"YES"
- lawnmowersarealive
"this is the best answer."
- TeachAManHOWToKaboom
"You do realize that all those other cars on the road are driven by actual people, right?"
"Those people need to be able to predict, with a reasonable degree of certainty, what all the other drivers around them are going to do. Signaling turns and lane change is law for a reason. Just f*cking do it."
- fantine9
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Four Words
"Patience, forgiveness, awareness, and tolerance."
"Be patient with traffic, other drivers, and animals. When driving was first invented, it was a leisurely activity for the rich. It was a privilege. It was intended to get us out and into the world. Aim for that experience."
"Forgive others as well as yourself. Did someone, “cut you off”, or did you accidentally begin a lane change towards another driver? Let it go. Smile. Apologize. Wave. Return to the task at hand."
"Look up, look around, and use your mirrors. Be aware of what is ahead, near, and behind you. Always be moving in the direction of less congestion, less conflict, more space, and larger margins for error. Turn down your music, put down your phone, eat before you leave or when you get there, and do your personal hygiene in a bathroom."
"Have nearly endless tolerance for people that don’t know or don’t care to follow these rules. If one person on the road is in a rush, mad at someone, focused on something other than driving, or is incapable of accepting that they aren’t the main character."
"- Don’t. Become. The. Second. Bad. Driver. Give them space, wave them on, ignore their actions, don’t take the bait. Let them go on about their day and get back to enjoying your drive."
"We’d all have a better experience if the majority of drivers did this."
- JLHawkins
Take It From A Pro
"I used to teach performance driving (not drivers Ed, which merely reaches you to operare a car)"
"Learn to set your mirrors properly. Doing so will keep you from having to check over your shoulder. Or even turning your head to see who is in your blind spot. If your mirrors are set correctly, you won't have a blind spot."
"When driving, look as far down the road as you can. Not at the nose of your car or the car in front of you. Many wrecks will be avoided this way."
"Learn how your brakes work and how to drive your car when your ABS is engaged and practice it. Consequently if you don't have ABS, learn to properly brake under manual braking."
"Always turn into a skid, even though it feels unnatural. And maintain speed."
"Don't be an asshat, and don't drive in the left lane unless you're passing someone. Also, don't use your phone in the car either. Seriously, most idiot drivers are on their phones."
"Always watch other drivers. They're stupid and will do stupid things, it's your job to avoid them."
"Learn to zipper merge."
"Keep your car well maintained."
"If other drivers are impatient with you, let them pass. It's not your job to make them obey the rules of the road or speed limits. It's your job to avoid them and let them go."
"Take a performance driving class at a local race track (in your own car, even if its a mini van, or. Prius or whatever). You'll learn a lot about driving and the car you drive most frequently."
- Xerisca
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Yeah nope, Florida drivers know absolutely nothing about that.
I was going to say "especially in Miami" but c'mon - have you ever been to Jacksonville? The whole state needs traffic Jesus.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.