Redditor xplorerex was curious to hear the things people hate most that drivers ahead of them or behind them do on the road, leading them to ask:
"What is the most annoying thing other road users do that irritates you?"
Is Anyone In That Big A Hurry?
"People that pass you and then turn in at the very next road."
"Like they couldn't wait five more seconds."- p38-lightning
We Can See You Coming From A Mile Away!
"High beams on while driving towards oncoming traffic."- AteTooMuchBoneMarrow
Slow And Steady Doesn't Always Win The Race...
"Not using the on ramp to get up to speed or close to what the traffic is going at."- yankstraveler
lowrider drive slow GIF by Off The JacksGiphyBetween A Rock And A Hard Place
"Being stuck behind someone doing 10 under the speed limit, AND THEN another dude ON YOUR @SS trying to get you to speed up like there ISN'T A F*CKING CAR IN FRONT OF ME!"
"Whew I guess I needed to get that one out."- sorvis
A Heads Up Would Be Nice!
"Not indicating, just pulling in front, turning etc without indicating, it's bad driving and lack of consideration."- mazdanc
Make Up Your Mind!!!
'Speed up when I'm trying to pass when just before they were going 10 under."
"Makes me hate humanity sometimes."- darkmauveshore
See Goodwood Festival Of Speed GIFGiphySome People Shouldn't Be Behind The Wheel
"Not one thing specifically, but just overall awareness, and the willingness to BE aware."
"Stop driving like dumba**es, get off your phones, pay attention."
"It's not that hard, and it should be MUCH easier than it is to LOSE your drivers license."
"I was in a life-threatening motorcycle accident a couple years ago and you wanna know why? "
"Someone turned the WRONG WAY on a one-way street and hit me head-on."
'Did she lose her license?"
"Of course not."
"A drivers license IS NOT a right, it's a privilege, and I'm so f*cking tired of lazy drivers."- BootyfulMiami
These Rules Exist For A Reason
"Not using turn signal."
"Driving at non-passing speeds in the passing lane."
"Making right turns without getting over to the right."- ProfitsOfProphets
Always Needing To Be Top Dog...
"When I'm behind someone in the passing/acceleration lane going the same speed as the car in the right lane, and they just stay neck in neck for eternity."- meanyapickles
szybcy i wciekli video games GIFGiphyThose Lanes Are There For A Reason
"Driving on the emergency lane."
"An ambulance once didn't make it in time to a man in dire need of first aid during a traffic jam."
"The emergency lane was also completely jammed because some thought they were too good to wait in traffic and went there instead."
"I genuinely hope all of them total their cars while surviving with annoying injuries."- Simplordx69
Your parents warned you to keep your "eyes on the road" for a reason.
You never know what you may encounter while driving, no matter how long or short the distance.
Reddit user Wolfies_Games asked:
"What's the most important thing to learn to be a good driver?"
So let's talk about some stuff the drivers here know nada about!
Paying Attention
"Pay attention."
"The amount of distracted drivers out there is insane. If you pay attention and maintain situational awareness you’ll be able to react to situations before they become accidents."
- Nasmix
"This was mine as well."
"Pay attention!"
"Driving becomes so mundane and mindless that it's crazy easy to get distracted or to expect everyone to behave as expected. Some people don't behave in the expected way and you won't see it until its too late if you're sending a text or trying to grab something out of the back seat."
- apollymii
"This! Also, don’t lose your focus becuase someone else is driving badly. I notice this happening to me. Every time there’s someone driving weird, chances are 30 seconds later I find myself thinking about that incident instead of paying attention to what’s happening presently."
- ConfidentValue6387
"I think it's best to pretend like everyone on the road is a dangerous idiot. It helps you avoid many crashes because you can anticipate people doing stupid things."
- i_dont_care_1943
happy homer simpson GIFGiphyBe Predictable
"A good driver is a predictable driver."
- WhiffMyAnus
"This is especially important to remember when driving on GPS in an unknown place. Sometimes you end up in the wrong lane, just follow through and take the wrong turn, don't make erratic last-minute lane changes."
- TheBrain85
"Be predictable not polite is the best advice I ever got about driving."
- bcorr12
"Glad this is the top comment. I hate when i get to a stop sign 1 second after someone else and they're trying to be nice by letting me go first. No, you get to the stop sign first, you go first. You are being more dangerous by being less predictable and not following the rules of the road."
- Bilbo_Bagels
"Came here to say this."
"Especially around trucks, trains, or anything heavier than average. Predictable is the safest way to be."
- Medium-Put-4976
D-Fence
"Many drivers ignore right-of-way. Drive defensively."
- Heckin_good_time
"Right of way is not something you HAVE, it is something you are GIVEN."
"A lesson from my dad. Never expect someone to cede the right of way. Just wait and watch what they're doing."
- shaidyn
"My mother always told me "Assume the other driver will do the wrong thing" and "Nice drivers are how accidents happen" meaning for example if you wave someone on and they don't have the right of way and other drivers don't notice you can cause as accident."
- Ty_J_Bryan
GiphyNo Sleepy Driving
"Never try to drive if you're feeling sleepy. The amount of preventable deaths caused by this is unfortunate."
"If you're driving and feel sleepy half way, find ways to keep you awake (chewing gum works great) long enough to find a safe place to park and get 5-10mins of shut eye."
- kctheboy3
"Exactly!!! Sleepy drivers can't react. And even if they react, they won't be fully capable to prevent an accident"
- Wolfies_Games
"I don't know about elsewhere, but the advice in my country (and on the theory test here) isn't to have a nap, having a 10-25 break and a coffee is recommended. Having a nap can make you more groggy and less aware"
- Felicfelic
"My friend who would stay up for days at a time doing questionable things swears that the only thing that can truly keep you awake is talking to someone. So if nobody is with you, calling someone and having it on speaker might do the trick."
- miss_misery__
"Yup! I once fell asleep driving on the highway and am somehow still alive to tell it. Hit the rumble strip and opened my eyes with enough time to yank the wheel back, somehow missed the cars around me, fishtailed for what felt like forever but probably was maybe 2 seconds, then just kept on like nothing happened. I should have died that day. I have no idea how I avoided everything and everyone."
- justbrowsing987654
Tired Modern Family GIF by PeacockTVGiphyGrandma's Wisdom
"My grandma taught me this rule when she took me driving: Always assume that everyone else is going to do something stupid. It's served me well."
"EDIT: One thing I wanted to add too. BE PATIENT WITH PEOPLE LEARNING TO DRIVE!"
"Don't forget that you were once that learner driver behind the wheel, terrified of handling a giant hunk of metal on wheels, trying not to hurt anyone. It can be a difficult thing to pick up and you shouldn't honk or get mad at learner drivers for making mistakes, they are LITERALLY LEARNING TO DRIVE and you getting angry is just going to rattle their confidence."
- TrueDeadBling
"Patient with learners? Yes please. I had an instructor who would frequently just freak out and start shaking because, 'See that car three back in the other lane? HE HAS A BEARD!' or something trivial like that."
"He acted like it was a nuclear crisis. I did not benefit from those lessons other than situational awareness in that sometimes the passenger is a really weird person who says stupid things that can be quite distracting."
- lawnmowersarealive
"I totally agree with your grandma, wise words of her"
"Driving casually is not hard, but driving abiding all the rules or driving fast on a track, that's hard."
- Wolfies_Games
Leave Space For Stopping
"Stay off the tail of the vehicle ahead of you."
"I knew a guy who would, for reasons unknown, look 90° to the left and accelerate when brake lights appeared ahead. We'd basically roar up onto them and I'd have to scream 'STOP!!' Put me into atrial fib more than once. No reason at all to do that-- no idea what he was doing."
- hmmm_thought_pig
"ALWAYS keep safe distance of the car in front and pay attention to road!"
"Hope you all were alright tho! Things like these are very stressful"
- Wolfies_Games
"Exactly. I was going to say dont fucking tailgate people. You are basically relying on your own reflexes and hoping the person in front of you doesn’t slam on their brakes for some reason."
My mom tailgates like a mofo sometimes and then tries to be bold and check her email on her phone and shit. I just take her phone and read it to her. She’s a menace but never been in a bad accident (knock on all the wood)."
- AnnoyinglyEarnest
Car-sonal SpaceUSE YOUR DAMN SIGNALS!
"I’ve taught numerous people to drive and I’m surprised I haven’t seen this in the responses but always keep a box of air around your car. It’s size varies with your speed but you need to always be checking your mirrors so that you have space on all sides to maneuver. You can’t be defensive if you have nowhere to go."
- Chewbagus
"I totally agree, you never want to stay in other people's blind spots or around them, it just makes an unsafe pack where everything will go down together"
- Wolfies_Games
"The amount of people that will just coast in my blind spot or directly next to me is unreal."
"I don't know how it doesn't immediately make them uncomfortable."
- MangoMambo
" 'Box of air'. I like the phrasing. I described it as “checkerboard” to my kids teaching them. Space open front, back, both sides. That way you always have a direction to bail. Never speed match a car to your left or right. Put yourself on their diagonal ahead of your blind spot or behind their blind spot."
- psgrue
Signal Your Turn
"USE YOUR DAMN SIGNALS!"
- BMoney8600
"AND TURN THEM ON BEFORE ACTUALLY DOING THE DAMN TURN!!!"
- Wolfies_Games
"YES"
- __Im_Dead_Inside_
"YES"
- lawnmowersarealive
"this is the best answer."
- TeachAManHOWToKaboom
"You do realize that all those other cars on the road are driven by actual people, right?"
"Those people need to be able to predict, with a reasonable degree of certainty, what all the other drivers around them are going to do. Signaling turns and lane change is law for a reason. Just f*cking do it."
- fantine9
season 8 episode 21 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyFour Words
"Patience, forgiveness, awareness, and tolerance."
"Be patient with traffic, other drivers, and animals. When driving was first invented, it was a leisurely activity for the rich. It was a privilege. It was intended to get us out and into the world. Aim for that experience."
"Forgive others as well as yourself. Did someone, “cut you off”, or did you accidentally begin a lane change towards another driver? Let it go. Smile. Apologize. Wave. Return to the task at hand."
"Look up, look around, and use your mirrors. Be aware of what is ahead, near, and behind you. Always be moving in the direction of less congestion, less conflict, more space, and larger margins for error. Turn down your music, put down your phone, eat before you leave or when you get there, and do your personal hygiene in a bathroom."
"Have nearly endless tolerance for people that don’t know or don’t care to follow these rules. If one person on the road is in a rush, mad at someone, focused on something other than driving, or is incapable of accepting that they aren’t the main character."
"- Don’t. Become. The. Second. Bad. Driver. Give them space, wave them on, ignore their actions, don’t take the bait. Let them go on about their day and get back to enjoying your drive."
"We’d all have a better experience if the majority of drivers did this."
- JLHawkins
Take It From A Pro
"I used to teach performance driving (not drivers Ed, which merely reaches you to operare a car)"
"Learn to set your mirrors properly. Doing so will keep you from having to check over your shoulder. Or even turning your head to see who is in your blind spot. If your mirrors are set correctly, you won't have a blind spot."
"When driving, look as far down the road as you can. Not at the nose of your car or the car in front of you. Many wrecks will be avoided this way."
"Learn how your brakes work and how to drive your car when your ABS is engaged and practice it. Consequently if you don't have ABS, learn to properly brake under manual braking."
"Always turn into a skid, even though it feels unnatural. And maintain speed."
"Don't be an asshat, and don't drive in the left lane unless you're passing someone. Also, don't use your phone in the car either. Seriously, most idiot drivers are on their phones."
"Always watch other drivers. They're stupid and will do stupid things, it's your job to avoid them."
"Learn to zipper merge."
"Keep your car well maintained."
"If other drivers are impatient with you, let them pass. It's not your job to make them obey the rules of the road or speed limits. It's your job to avoid them and let them go."
"Take a performance driving class at a local race track (in your own car, even if its a mini van, or. Prius or whatever). You'll learn a lot about driving and the car you drive most frequently."
- Xerisca
Bbc Family GIF by Top GearGiphyYeah nope, Florida drivers know absolutely nothing about that.
I was going to say "especially in Miami" but c'mon - have you ever been to Jacksonville? The whole state needs traffic Jesus.
Redditor Cicallis wanted to get the scolding hot tea from drivers out there by asking:
"Chauffeurs who drive around rich people, what are some of the weird/shocking conversations you have overheard?"
When I do an an Uber share I am always amazed by what people are willing to let people overhear. Like, do you not know you're still in public when in a car with strangers? I keep it jovial and not personal. Let's see what else our driver's witness...
Oh Billy...
billy bob thornton christmas movies GIFGiphyBilly Bob Thornton was doing radio press for a movie about to come out, meaning he had to stop by 6-7 radio stations for interviews.
He wanted to have a cigarette in the vehicle on the way to the next interview but I had to let him know our company has a no smoking policy in our vehicles.
He asked me to call the owner to make an exception but the owner said no and its a $250 cleaning fee if he smoked in the vehicle.
He asked to stop by a bank, Came out and handed me $5,000 cash and said "here's for the whole Goddam pack."
He smoked in the car the rest of the trip. Later I got up the nerve to ask him if that's the most expensive pack of cigarettes he's ever smoked? All he said was "not even close" (never explained it further)
I think about him often...
In the 80's!
Picked up a wedding party: bride, bridesmaid, and bride's boyfriend who was paying for the wedding. They had a magnum of champagne and we drove around for quite some doing drugs in the back. They were using rolled up $50s and $20s, then tossing them to me in the front seat as tip money.
I dutifully brushed off each bill and added them to my wallet, pretending not to know what was going on.
The "couple" argued off and on about showing up to the wedding, apparently she felt weird about getting married and he was trying to convince her it was a good idea.
Finally dropped them off at the church and he slipped me a matchbook with his name and number written on it.
Yeah, it was the late 80s and I was a young woman, one of the only female limo drivers at the time in that city. Scored a sweet leather jacket with the tips from that night.
So many weird stories.
Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
The Caddy
When we were in high school, my friend used to caddy at a local country club. One guy really liked him and asked if he would be willing to drive him around while he went out partying (this was like 2003 and in a pretty rural area), my friend agreed.
He picked the guy up at like 8pm. Right off the bat, the guy handed him $200. He went to a bar for a little bit, my friend sat in the car.
The guy came out, handed him another $200 and told him he had to visit his "friend" real quick. He went and got a bunch of drugs.
They went to another bar, he handed my friend another hundred dollars and told him to look out the window and turn up the radio.
He came out a couple hours later with a girl (he was married with kids). He handed my friend another $200 and they went back to her house. After they screwed around, he came out and asked to be taken to the beach.
At this point it was like 2-3am. My friend said that the guy slowly walked around the beach, went into the water up to his ankles (in his shoes), threw a bunch of rocks into the water and then sat in the sand for about 45 minutes.
He came back to the car and asked to be driven home. When they got out of the car he hugged my friend and gave him $500 and asked him to never tell anyone what happened.
Have you seen Marie Osmond?
Friend of mine worked for an upscale concierge chauffeur service. His most memorable moment came when he lost Marie Osmond. Fairly simple gig, go to airport and pick up Marie Osmond, who was to be the featured entertainer at a private event.
Plane comes in, he meets her, she has carryon bag but her checked suitcase, containing her stage dresses and makeup, is missing.
She is unflappable, though... asks to be taken to the nearest upscale mall. He does as instructed, she goes into a large upscale department store, selects two long sequined cocktail dresses and goes to the fitting room to try them on (without him, of course).
Unfortunately, there are two entrances and exits to the fitting room, and Marie Osmond exits out through the other side and cannot find my chauffeur buddy, who is waiting patiently on the side she'd entered... 20 minutes passes. He thinks something has gone wrong, so he grabs a female manager and asks her to go into the fitting rooms and ask for Marie Osmond. The manager thinks she is being pranked and declines.
Chauffeur buddy is in mini-panic mode now, running wildly around the store asking random customers "Have you seen Marie Osmond? Have you seen Marie Osmond?" Store security is summoned and he is asked to leave the premises right NOW, He calls his employer and tells them he has lost Marie Osmond. The employer doesn't have her cell phone number but has her agent's number and he is not accepting calls.
She has in the meantime taken a cab to the gig, thinking she has been forgotten. Lots of apologies eventually ensued and there were no repercussions.
The Big Guy
Big Guy Gym GIF by StickerGiantGiphyI used to know a Chauffeur, he ended up driving around some big stars. He was big dude, like 6'8" and super muscular.
His best story was when he was driving around a few WWE (WWF back then) stars, and they awkwardly asked him to not get out and open the door for them because he'd make them look smaller.
Lord... that is a handful of mess. People need to get it together. And I knew Marie Osmond would always be a problem. LOL. Who else has some tales?
Happy Endings...
Buddy of mine ended up picking up a Netflix producer while doing Uber. He said they had a great conversation as he brought him to his hotel. The producer invited him up for a drink and since my friend was a film student he thought it'd be a good idea to go and try to get some good networking in. They hung out for about an hour when he asked my friend if he knew of any massage places with "happy endings".
He didn't but the guy paid him $500 to bring him to the closest massage place which was only a few miles out. Upon dropping him off he gave my buddy a card and said "there's a big party/festival I'm hosting. That's your ticket in. I'll let you know then if I get that happy ending haha!"
In the Car
I've have multiple people pay me handsomely to let them smoke. Heard a French guy yelling at his wife that $10,000 was too much to pay for 2 bracelets that she bought. Also over heard a lot business deals with absurd amount of money referenced. Like 10's of millions.
OH MY
Say Word Lol GIF by Desus & MeroGiphyHe thought I couldn't speak French, heard him telling his wife on the telephone where she should order a strapon.
Get a Benz
Not a chauffeur but this happened because of a lack of one. Basically, a guy I used to know back when we were teenagers (17yrs old) had a lot of money. We just never knew how much until I was invited to go on holiday with him and some other friends, all expenses paid of course.
Anyway, we took a taxi to an area where this guy wanted to buy an apartment and wanted to show us so we went with him and ended up spending the whole day walking around the area. We got tired and eventually wanted to go back to the house but we were so far away that walking was not an option unless we wanted to walk for about 3 hours.
Neither of us had enough cash to pay for a taxi, and back then taxis didn't accept cards (this was around 2000 or 2001 btw) so this guy rings his dad and asks if he could send a chauffeur to pick us up, but the chauffeur turns out was busy doing some deliveries for the dad, so instead the dad says "there's a Mercedes Benz dealer shop near were you are, I know the manager there as I've bought several cars from them, just go there and buy a car with the credit card.
You can leave it in the house and we'll figure out how to bring it home later." So we went to this dealer shop and somehow in about 30 min the manager did all the paperwork and we ended up driving back to the house in a brand new Mercedes C class, which we used for the rest of the holiday.
In Fur
My sister was in a limo once and asked the driver about his most interesting ride. The driver said that he picked up some models who were going to a PETA demonstration, "I'd rather be bare than in fur" or whatever it was. He got to the location, they stripped naked in the back of limo, and he waited until they were done with the photo op.
The Story of John
Not a chauffeur, but seemed like a good chance to remind people of the story of John Boehner (At the time, Speaker of the US House of Representatives, 3rd in line for the US Presidency) not knowing how to use Uber.
As the story goes, one of his aides downloaded the app onto his phone and showed him how to use it. Unknown to him, he'd been stuck on the carpooling option, uber-pool.
That's what he used for years. There are all sorts of tales of commuters hopping into their carpool and bam, there's John Boehner stuck in a middle seat asking to get dropped off at the Capitol Building.
However you feel about his politics, I think that's pretty funny.
Elmo
I had a college friend whose parents were friends of Elmo Zumwalt, who told them a story about himself. Shortly after he was appointed Chief of Naval Operations, he went out for a jog on a foggy morning when he was new to the DC area, got lost, and had to hail a cab to get a ride home. The cab driver was friendly and struck up a conversation that went something like this—
Driver: So you got lost, what do you do for a living?
Zumwalt: I'm in the Navy.
Driver: I was in the Navy too! What do you do in the Navy?
Zumwalt: I . . . er . . . run it.
Driver: [shakes head].
Where to Begin?
One of my best friends used to drive Uber in a wealthy area of LA. He told me so many stories about drunk celebs and tiktokers in his car.
Some highlights:
- Quentin Tarantino and Trisha Paytas were making out in his back seat when they were secretly dating lol
- Mike Tyson is apparently very nice in person and also a giant pothead
- Somebody on Gossip Girl and her friend were arguing about chicken nuggets and tried to get him to go through a Wendy's drive through during the lunch rush when there were 10 cars already in line
- Addison Rae or one of her friends took their shoes off and left them in the car
- Leo dicaprio took more than 5 minutes to find the car. He seemed out of it and was quietly bobbing his head listening to music on his headphones b**chyfuxkjngbltch34
"Ohhh right"
Wasn't exactly a chauffeur but I did have the distinguished privilege of working with a multimillionaire one time for a couple days and I was just astounded at how out of touch he was with people.
One conversation he was talking about how he hated all the new homes they were building and he liked old castles so he was having a castle in Scotland disassembled and reassembled here in the US piece by piece.
On another occasion he asked me why I wasn't in college yet (the job was after high school and I was working as a plumber) and gave me an "Ohhh right" when I told him I couldn't afford to go yet and had to save up.
A Tip
happy drag race GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphyA small part of my family was Chicago Mafia.
Grandpa told me a story of a family wedding in Chicago they went to in the late 60's.
In the van
About 25 years ago I had a summer job at a very tony country club. Six figure joining fee, five figure continuing membership dues, and that got you nothing but the privilege of paying top dollar for rounds, food, etc.
I was a porter some of the time, as we had cottages on club grounds for members to stay and make a weekend of it. One of my duties was driving members to and from airports - usually private airports for private jets.
One time I'm driving two guys to the airport, and one of them starts complaining.
Seems he and his wife are always fighting over who gets the jet every weekend, and where they want to go.
Well, the other one replied, my third jet is actually just gathering dust right now, since my son went to college. Wanna take it off my hands?
They shook on it right there in the van.
Flying Drivers
Not a chauffeur but worked as a caterer for private jets and the insane folks who owned them. Had a huge order from what I knew to be a smaller jet so I really wondered about it. When one of the owner's handlers was training a new flight crew, he ordered $12k of meals for a flight that didn't exist just so the new flight attendants could practice the fine points of checking in a catering order.
I listened outside after the food drop as the handler started explaining what to do to six of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen. We provided food for a lesson! The food was wasted. I found it in the dumpster outside one of the hangars the next day.
Front Seat
oscars 2017 laughing GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphyI'll answer for my grandparents.
They owned a limousine business, I believe in the early 2000s, and my grandmother drove Mel Gibson around. She said he was nice and that he had requested to sit in the front passenger seat due to car sickness.
I'm torn... I feel like I want to be a driver just for the writing material but I also fear for my life. How to weigh the options. The crazy is all comedy gold. I do know that for my next taxi ride... I'm gonna be mute.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
