"Disgusting" means different things to different people. So when one Reddit user asked about disgusting birthdy parties, we kind of expected stories about roaches or something...
What we got was something else entirely.
The reddit thread asks:
Redditors of Reddit, what's the most disgusting birthday party ever you have attended?
... we're going to be honest, we were not ready for this much heartbreak and vomit.
Left Out At Her Own Party
Depends on your meaning of disgusting.
I get invited to this girl's house for a party in 4th grade. She was nice, but also wasn't popular and got teased a lot.
Anyway, everyone in our class got invited, and sure enough a lot of the popular, louder kids came to the party. The evening itself had a few set activities as far as I can remember, but nothing concrete.
This did not end up well.
After the cake was served and everyone sang happy birthday, everybody pretty much said f*ck it and did their own thing. Ignoring the birthday girl and her mother's attempts to try to get the party on track. I remember overhearing the girl crying to her mother, and the mother saying to her they wouldn't have a party at home next year.
I can't imagine how sh*tty her parents felt. Nobody should have to go through that.
Thanks, Bro
drunk candy GIF by Originals
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My birthday falls pretty soon after Christmas and, still, technically, within the UK pantomime season*. So, for my eighth birthday we went down the local theatre, my mum, two siblings and five or so mates in tow, for the last performance of Jack and the Beanstalk.
My mum had lovingly made goody bags for us all, crammed to the brim in sweet, sugary goodness and we settled into our row.
My brother, fat little six year old piestacker that he was, inhaled all his sweets in a frenzy before the curtain even raised and promptly projectile vomited an acrid mess of barely chewed gummy worms and melted candy f*cking everywhere. Repeated a couple more times then sat there howling.
No f*cking way my mum was going to stay sitting in the mortification of this all in the newly vomit scented seats. We were hurried out to the foyer, placed in the care of an unfortunate usher as my mum tried to beseech them, in her complete embarrassment, to give her a cleaning bucket so she could go get rid of the evidence.
They denied her request and insisted on doing it themselves (just wanted us gone in all likelihood) whilst I'm now furious because my pig of a little brother has ruined my birthday.
Piggy brother is still howling and the foyer is chaotic with confused children. Seven year old sister took a book out her bag and decided to read until the drama calmed down. Always calm and sensible that one.
We picked up KFC on the ride back and watched the Jungle Book at home instead.
I'll be 33 soon enough. Has my brother lived it down? Nope.
Birthday Bullying
I got invited to a birthday party just to get bullied.
I kept begging the parents to call my mom so I could go home and they thought I was just being a cry baby. All I remember is the kids saying I couldn't play with them and all kinds of other mean stuff which made me cry.
When I asked the parents to call my mom they all laughed and said I needed to stop crying and just go play. They probably just couldn't possibly believe their kids would ever do anything wrong. you know how some parents are.
They said I wasn't allowed to sleep with them, and the birthday bully wouldn't let me sleep with the rest of the party, so I had to sleep in her little brothers room.
I told my mom and she was so mad. I had to beg her not to call the birthday girls mom because I was afraid of getting bullied more over it.
So Unbearably Cringe
One person showed up to my 7th grade birthday party and I just wished she didn't.
It felt like it was way more sad and awkward than if no one showed and I could just cancel the whole thing. Instead, she showed up out of sheer pity and I barely knew her, which was really awkward. I had to practically beg her to come and she clearly did not want to be there.
The whole thing was kinda made worse by my mom even though my mom didnt intend it. She kept asking over and over, during my own party, why no more kids showed up.
I had to lie to her the rest were late. Meanwhile, conversation consisted of hat girl saying "yeah ok..." and various monosyllabic responses to me while constantly giving me a look of absolute pity and awkwardness, like literally, her longest sentence to me was "well I mean I'm here. So I can go now, right?".
or Me desperately trying to find any topic of convo, any, that would yield an actual response from her
or My mom constantly trying to insert herself into our interactions. That last point was quite bad too because my mom kept trying to quiz us on the friendship we didn't have.
We literally had to make sh*t up for my mom. She acted like this girl and I have been besties for years, when literally my mom only heard her name for the first time on that day itself.
It was so unbearably cringe. My mom was just trying to be nice, but straight up it looked crazy because she was trying too hard and this girl was clearly a stranger to both of us.
The girl only looked happy when she managed to flee, I then told my mom that no one else is showing up yes only one person showed up to my f*ckin party now please leave me alone. Then I locked myself in my room and cried. Fun times.
It's been years and my mom still talks about that girl she saw once as if we had been best friends lmaooo.
- ramune_0
So Much McPuke
I was 8 or 9 at the moment, one of my best friends invited me to their party.
The McDonalds where my friend hosted the party was very small, so there was 20+ kids and adults in a small cramped room, covered in black.
Everything was fine until before lunch. The room was hot as hell and I had a lot of clothes on. At that time I struggled with my blood sugar.
I was hungry, being cooked alive and felt horrible. I went to a bathroom to vomit, and there was a massive crap in there, which made me vomit fast.
Then I came back ate lunch and then we ate cake.
I had to leave early because a young cousin of my friend threw up everywhere and we all had to leave the room, ending the party.
Black Tie Toddler
I went to a birthday party for a five-year old that said "black tie" on the (engraved) invitation.
They had miniature horses, a full size elephant, a chocolate fountain, FOUR clowns, a dance crew, and a martini bar for the adults. The parents gleefully told me that it cost them over $100,000.
It was gross.
Dad Remembers It Differently
hardly art silly string GIF by Tacocat
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I was once assaulted by a firing squad of classmates who I was forced to invite to my party.
They were armed with silly string. That was, for some reason .supposed to be a gift for me. I think it was my 5th or 6th birthday?
They blew through about 12 cans of the stuff at once. I still despise silly string and I recently learned my dad had the delusion that it was a good time for me.
- CLTalbot
Baby Heimlich
A slightly different kind of disgusting.
I went to a one year olds first birthday and they got her a smash cake and she choked on it and they had to give her the baby version of the Heimlich and everything and it was super scary and everyone was freaking out.
The baby eventually vomited up the cake (thank god!) and then just kept vomiting everywhere for the next five minutes while her mom hugged her and cried.
Needless to say it ended shortly after. It was more scary than disgusting, but all the puke was gross I guess... yet it was so good to see the puke cuz it meant she was breathing again!
A Little Birthday Racism
My cousin is black in a mostly white family. During her birthday BBQ, one of her uncles said "let me put makeup on you!" and rubbed coal on her face.
Just...
A friend invited me to his friend´s party. My friend didn´t show up and I was stuck at this kid´s party and I didn´t know anyone. Kid´s family, the dad in particular, is very racist and fit the redneck stereotype (I´m non-white). Ended very badly with the father yelling racial slurs at ten year old me.
"It Was Disgusting, But I'm Competitive"
Well now I feel like a weirdo that people are talking about kids birthdays...
I went to a stripper themed birthday party. She even had a pole installed and a competition where guests had Monopoly money to give people who did the best. I won 3rd place.
It was disgusting but I'm competitive so I couldn't help it.
The Deal I Made To Myself
My ex polyamorous gf.
She is a bartender who never had a problem drinking me under the table, but on her birthday she got so drunk and held nothing back that it bothered me so much.
It wasn't an "it's my party" attitude, but the way she spoke to everyone (including me) reeked of desperation and megalomania - a side I had never seen in her for the two years we were dating.
We would go out and meet others together from time to time and I had never gotten jealous, but that night it was as if she was grasping and desperately trying to freely hook up.
My feelings broke the deal I made to myself and I ended it not to long after.
Cake Smash
happy birthday GIF by Kehlani
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Went to a friend's 11th birthday party. Everything went smoothly for a while and there were no problem, but when they brought out the cake and cut it up, his mother decided to jokingly smash his face into his slice.
He turned around and full-on punched her in the face. Gave her a bloody nose.
Needless to say, all hell broke loose with every adult screaming and yelling at him, and the party was called off.
I later got the present I gave him back in the mail. It was part of his punishment.
Inviting 8th Grade
One of my own was pretty disgusting.
I went to private school and absolutely hated it for so many reasons, mostly for being bullied for being the one and only "goth kid." I wanted to invite 3 or 4 friends over for my birthday. My mom always had a rule that if I invite anyone, I have to invite everyone in my class. Since I had multiple teachers for the first time, I had to invite the entire 8th grade.
So I told my actual friends they could come early so we could chill alone. We had the neighborhood pool right outside our house. My mom made a bunch of food and decorated my cake. Me and my friends were chillin, blasting Nirvana and Green Day, and swimming. We were just having fun and being our normal dorky selves.
Eventually the rich preppy kids showed up, including the really popular ones and my bullies I didn't expect to show up at all. Things were okay at first with mega hyper 8th graders. Then my mom walked over with the cake, we sang, and some of the kids wanted to eat other snacks before cake. So I suggested we should wait to eat the cake to make sure that everyone can have some. Everyone decided that was cool. My mom went back to the house.
Then, one kid decided it would be funny to get a huge handful of sour cream and onion dip and throw it at his friend. The friend was like wtf and went over to do the same thing back. Cue a disgusting sour cream and onion, salsa, cheese dip, guacamole, and whatever else fight BY THE POOL. Me and my friends are standing there like wtf is going on, all of us to shy to even know what to say. I just started to ignore them and count down the time until the party was over.
That wasn't the worst part.
Next some little sh*t grabbed the uncut Nightmare Before Christmas cake my mom hand decorated and spent hours baking/decorating on. This guy grabbed THE ENTIRE CAKE and smashed it onto the torso of his friend, knocking said friend backwards into the pool. All the bags of chips were then thrown about, dumped onto kids in the pool, etc.
I had f*cking tears in my eyes. I didn't even like most of these kids because of how rude they are at school, and now they just destroyed my cake and just being annoying and selfish. Hardly anyone even said bye or anything else to me the entire party.
My mom came over at the end of it and looked at me in disbelief. I was crying (because teenage girl lol) and she got pretty mad, even getting mad at me for not stopping them.
I was so awkward and painfully shy back then, I didn't even know what to do or say. I was mostly upset about the cake, not because I wanted any, but because my mom used to make cakes professionally and was always really into it. I always loved looking at my birthday cakes and appreciated how much effort she put into it. I love art, and it was one of the rare times each year I could see her artistic side.
So yeah. That sucked. I had to clean up everything, including the disgusting mishmash of dip, soggy chips, and cake out of the pool as best as I could.
My mom got rid of the "you have to invite everyone" rule after that.
The First Time I Met His Mom
I was about 14 and at my friend's apartment for his 15th birthday. His parents were divorced and he lived with his dad at the apartment. There were about about 6 of us boys there playing video games. About half way through the party his mom comes by to visit, and she was extremely drunk. This was the first time I had met his mom. After wishing her son a happy birthday, she started making sexual advances towards me and some of the other boys at the party. I felt so embarrassed for my friend.
Cue The Ambulance
My own at around 9 I think. One of my friends was leaning back in a chair and fell backwards into a wall. We all laughed because he seemed fine but then he put a hand on the back of his head and it came off covered in blood. He'd split his head wide open because he fell into a corner.
Cue the ambulance and several kids freaking out. One threw up. It was pretty gross.
But my birthday was the talk of the school next day. Friend was fine once he got stitches.
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The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
