Ordep333When my middle child was 4, we got into a minor car accident. From the back seat she calmly asked if we had been in a car accident. When I confirmed she nodded knowingly and said
"When you've been in an accident dial 911, then call 411 for 1 800 411 PAIN. 411 PAIN, call 911 then call 411."
It was like watching a little robot recite a bit of programming she didn't know she had. That moment absolutely confirmed that those annoyingly repetitive commercials stick in your head.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the most annoying and repetitive commercial you've ever seen on TV?
And yeah, these people absolutely remember the companies - but it maybe didn't work out the way advertisers had hoped. Most people who responded seemed to have a strange lingering hatred for the company and a refusal to use them.
I certainly didn't call 411 PAIN.
Buried in the comments we found gold - a plot between two Reddit users (one of whom happens to live near the CEO of a hated company) so deliver a strongly worded letter about how much their jingles and commercials suck!
But Where Do I Apply?
Head on, apply directly to the forehead
Head on!
- Zubbs99
Apply directly to the forehead!
It was literally just wax they told you to rub on your forehead. It had no medical effect. The only way it was legal was they didn't actually specify what it did when you rubbed it on your forehead, just that you should. The original ads did say that it was for headaches, but the gov't shut that down.
No Effort From Empire
Not sure how "national" it was, but there's this carpeting company "Empire Today" that had this really annoying commercial.
it just went (singing) "Eight hundred, five eight eight, two three hundred, empire (voiceover):Today"
It was on all the time. I think that really annoyed me about it was that they didn't even try to come up with theme song, they just sang their phone number. It doesn't rhyme or anything. It's not even that memorable.
I had to google "annoying carpet commercial." But once I saw "Empire" I remembered the tune, not the exact number, but the melody.
And, if I need flooring done, I'm just googling "flooring companies near me".
- teke367
877 Cash When?
Call j g went worth 877 cash now!!!
🎶I have a structured settlement but I need cash nooooowwwwww🎶
IF YOU HAVE AN ANNUITY BUT YOU NEED CASH NOOOOOOW
My dad had a structured settlement that paid 15k a year til death. When he was about 55 years old he called jg Wentworth just out of curiosity. They offered him 30k.....
He did eventually settle with the employer a few years later for a lump sum of about 250k.
Jake
Why the f*ck is Jake from State Farm relevant again? That commercial was like 10 years ago and now he's the face of the company like hes some dude that I'm supposed to trust.
- MLWcaleb
Jake ruined a marriage. I want nothing to do with that home wrecker.
- CaptainMcAnus
"That F*cking Limu"
Liberty Mutual Insurance's "LiMu Emu" commercials. I will never use that insurance company specifically because these commercials are so bad.
I swear 2/3 of the YouTube ads I see are about that f*cking limu. I WILL NEVER USE LIBERTY MUTUAL BECAUSE I'M SO F*CKING SICK OF THOSE ADS.
/rant
I have to agree! LiMu Emu is the WORST!
- Chooky54
Late Night Earworm
I don't know if I'd call it annoying, but the Education Connection song from ~10 years ago is a hell of an earworm.
Always. Always at like 1:30AM, every night, every Adult Swim commercial break. Drove me insane then but it's kind of a nice nostalgia boost now though.
That ad drove my Mom nuts when she watched That 70's Show late at night on The N/Teen Nick. I saw it a lot during Degrassi, too.
- lady-ki
OMG you are truly EVIL! I couldn't even get thru that commercial because I was almost instantly annoyed!
Grow Up
Attention parents and grandparents of young children, Gerber life is accepting applications for the affordable grow up plan. The grow up plan gives your child 10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, then doubles automatically to 20,000 dollars later at no extra cost, start now for just pennies a day
I just had PTSD reading this.
Honestly, those ads freaked me the f*ck out. Who insures a baby? (Cue intro to a show on Investigation Discovery.)
The Pink Stuff
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
sing that in a western accent.
Every time I see this commercial, I think, "somewhere out there is a guy who is so excited to tell his family that he got his 'big break' and called his grandma to tell her he is the 'diarrhea guy!'"
Service Unavailable
I randomly have the 'Stanley Steemer's commercial jingles pop up in my head. I don't even have one in my country >:/
F*ck you Stanley Steemer.
LOOL Im the CEO's neighbor he has a Stanley Steemer van in his driveway right now!
Do you mind dropping an envelope with some of my opinions about his goddamn jingle into his mailbox?
Sure, Ill stick one through the open window of the van too.
Awesome, I finally get to vent my built-up decade-long hate for the Stanley Steamer jingle.
You have no idea how liberating this is for me and all those who had to endure the jingle and never have their carpets thoroughly cleaned.
This is actually very cathartic.
Ahem
Dear Mr. "Stanley Steemer", This will be the last package I ever send your @ss. I can't believe you've done this. I used to hear your jingle from all the way in Canada and it filled me with hope, wonder and anticipation. There's no denying the jingle is a masterpiece the likes of Mozart or Bach, but let's not pretend like weaponizing it on unsuspecting viewers who cannot ever have their carpet steemed isn't a war crime.
I wondered how I could have my carpets cleaned at a young age, and in each stage of my life there was that jingle "Stanley Steemer, your certified cleaner". I honestly have no f*cking idea what that even means, even today as a man. What are you certified for? Soap and water? Is it a ruse? Are you guys even insured!? A line so vague it could mean anything, but alas it had a catchy tune.
Life went on, yet there it was. Staring me in the face like a piping hot, steaming - "Stanley Steemer makes your home cleaner!". Firstly, wow. The skill involved in creating such a simple yet effective rhyme, could move Beethoven to tears... If he wasn't deaf. I digress, I think it's time we put this all to rest. For the love of God, take down the commercial. For the sanity or those who happen to have a channel package which for some reason features local commercials and have lifelong PTSD and have spent years in therapy trying to forget. From one Stan to another, take it down. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too
The Opposite Of Feel-Good TV
No one will know this. There was a commercial for Kinder Family here in germany. Kinder are the guys who make the surprise eggs.
It was supposed to be these short 15 second skits that rotate every week or so. You could watch them online even.
I have not seen anything that was as unfunny as that before or since. It was like everytime you watch one you cringed so hard it would hurt. I felt awful after watching each and every one of them.
Double Shot Of Jersey Shore
My family watches a lot of Ridiculousness, and MTV is going back through their Jersey Shore cast catalog and making shows with Pauly D and Vinny again. The Double Shot of Love commercials are full of "yeah buddy" and "yas".
So those.
Lelly Kelly
You definitely won't remember this if you weren't English and born in the 2000's. But if you were, then Llelly Kelly's were ingrained into your mind because whenever you watched Cartoon Network or Disney channel they were there.
Lelly Kelly's, the coolest shoes, lelly Kelly's they are so cool, oh wow
So Loud
Mesothelioma.
I know it's important. I also know commercials are louder because people tend to walk away, but god damn. You play that thing so much I feel like I got the disease!
- Scoobity
A Quest For Silence
Never actually 'seen' it, but certainly heard it more times than anyone should have.
"What am I doing tonight? I'm calling Quest!"
Like Holy Hand grenades I don't give a sh*t what you do or who you call, lady. If I hear you advertise your stupid phone sex line one more time I swear to god I will literally implode.
I work as a security guard in a hospital over night, and spend 8 hours a day just outside a patients room. He leaves the T.V. on all night and I swear there are only 2 commercials that run on whatever shitty tv network he watches.
We would love silence but instead we get a TV blasting about the phone sex hotline ... and some stupid lady saying "They are some of the hottest videos on the internet, those videos showing you how to get rid of those bags under your eyes..."
It's the Quest phone sex one that I hate the most though.
Sorry, Shirley
From Baby Take-A-Bow, to Curlytop and Heidi, America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations. And now through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD collection of one of the brightest stars in film history, but you haven't seen Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black & white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! Eighteen timeless films, packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together! These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time, and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your family and friends! Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple, with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! 18 classic family films, beautifully restored in black & white and in color for just two payments of $24.99! Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free with your paid order! This collection is not sold in stores and only available through this exclusive TV offer! If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, Imagine what they could do for you and your family today! Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love! and now you can enjoy the original black & white movies, and the beautifully restored color versions, all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price! These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality! This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever! Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! 18 classic films in black & white and in color, plus this Shirley Temple collectible photo, all for just two payments of $24.99 plus 5.99 shipping and handling! This offer is not sold in stores so call now! Rush delivery available.
- Ordep333
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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