Even those of us who lived through it might forget how terrible it was to have our shows decided by someone else, thousands of miles away. When you had to sit, and wait, for the show that was on to end so you could finally watch the one you want.
I think Hell might be like that.
These people, on the other hand, had a much more sinister idea for what everyone is forced to watch down below.
Reddit user, CharmingWitty, wanted to know what you're forced to watch every day in the afterlife of misery when they asked:
"You’re in Hell. What’s on TV?"
Why do advertisers think they're commercials are good? They're not. We tolerate them. We don't actively enjoy them.
So imagine watching the worst of the worst when you're downstairs.
I Will Remember You
"That commercial with Sarah McLaughlin music and the neglected and abused and abandoned animals."
Buy. Our. Stuff.
"Commercials and nothing else"
"So the shopping channel? lol"
"Selling only one thing - possibly slapchop. As a plus there's slap chop billboards everywhere, just in case you get the bright idea of switching the TV off and going for a walk."
Holy Forking Shirtballs
"The Kars 4 Kids commercial on a constant loop."
"That's the theme song for The Bad Place!"
It's not hard to imagine what's on television in hell because as it turns out, a lot of that stuff is already on as we speak.
All The Good Stuff Is Taken Out
"Whatever it is, it’s the edited for TV version."
"Yippie Kay yay, mister falcon."
“Im sick of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane” - Samuel L Jackson brought to you by TNT.
The Internet Was A Mistake
"Staged tik tok videos"
"...that say wait till the end."
"All of them have the oh no song"
How Does This Work With Them Supposedly Being On Opposite Sides?
"Wouldn’t they be doing live shows in hell?"
"Politics fighting over not important shit and avoiding serious matters"
"Hey look, we’re already in hell."
It is Hell, after all. Maybe the Devil will get a little creative with your punishment.
"America’s funniest home videos, except all the videos are all the times you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of people and it’s hosted by Andrew Dice Clay so none of it is funny"
*copy, paste, apply to any sitcom
"Big bang theory, but whenever someone talks it's just their shitty laughing tracks"
"Or worse. The laugh track is removed leaving long eerie silences after bad jokes"
Just Nothing Happening. For Forever.
"A tv show about a guy trying to connect to the internet through a dial-up modem, but the connection never happens and you just constantly hear the dial-up tones and noises. Probably has a really sh-tty, but catchy tune as well that gets stuck in your head as Satan takes you to the fire pits"
Wait, THEY Got To Go?
"Endless keeping up with the Kardashians."
"Special hell edition: Shows about the Kardashians' life in heaven."
Let's all try to be a little nicer to one another. How about that?
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Ordep333When my middle child was 4, we got into a minor car accident. From the back seat she calmly asked if we had been in a car accident. When I confirmed she nodded knowingly and said
"When you've been in an accident dial 911, then call 411 for 1 800 411 PAIN. 411 PAIN, call 911 then call 411."
It was like watching a little robot recite a bit of programming she didn't know she had. That moment absolutely confirmed that those annoyingly repetitive commercials stick in your head.
One Reddit user asked:
And yeah, these people absolutely remember the companies - but it maybe didn't work out the way advertisers had hoped. Most people who responded seemed to have a strange lingering hatred for the company and a refusal to use them.
I certainly didn't call 411 PAIN.
Buried in the comments we found gold - a plot between two Reddit users (one of whom happens to live near the CEO of a hated company) so deliver a strongly worded letter about how much their jingles and commercials suck!
But Where Do I Apply?
Head on, apply directly to the forehead
Apply directly to the forehead!
It was literally just wax they told you to rub on your forehead. It had no medical effect. The only way it was legal was they didn't actually specify what it did when you rubbed it on your forehead, just that you should. The original ads did say that it was for headaches, but the gov't shut that down.
No Effort From Empire
Not sure how "national" it was, but there's this carpeting company "Empire Today" that had this really annoying commercial.
it just went (singing) "Eight hundred, five eight eight, two three hundred, empire (voiceover):Today"
It was on all the time. I think that really annoyed me about it was that they didn't even try to come up with theme song, they just sang their phone number. It doesn't rhyme or anything. It's not even that memorable.
I had to google "annoying carpet commercial." But once I saw "Empire" I remembered the tune, not the exact number, but the melody.
And, if I need flooring done, I'm just googling "flooring companies near me".
877 Cash When?gordon ramsay fox GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy
Call j g went worth 877 cash now!!!
🎶I have a structured settlement but I need cash nooooowwwwww🎶
IF YOU HAVE AN ANNUITY BUT YOU NEED CASH NOOOOOOW
My dad had a structured settlement that paid 15k a year til death. When he was about 55 years old he called jg Wentworth just out of curiosity. They offered him 30k.....
He did eventually settle with the employer a few years later for a lump sum of about 250k.
Why the f*ck is Jake from State Farm relevant again? That commercial was like 10 years ago and now he's the face of the company like hes some dude that I'm supposed to trust.
Jake ruined a marriage. I want nothing to do with that home wrecker.
"That F*cking Limu"
Liberty Mutual Insurance's "LiMu Emu" commercials. I will never use that insurance company specifically because these commercials are so bad.
I swear 2/3 of the YouTube ads I see are about that f*cking limu. I WILL NEVER USE LIBERTY MUTUAL BECAUSE I'M SO F*CKING SICK OF THOSE ADS.
I have to agree! LiMu Emu is the WORST!
Late Night Earworm
I don't know if I'd call it annoying, but the Education Connection song from ~10 years ago is a hell of an earworm.
Always. Always at like 1:30AM, every night, every Adult Swim commercial break. Drove me insane then but it's kind of a nice nostalgia boost now though.
That ad drove my Mom nuts when she watched That 70's Show late at night on The N/Teen Nick. I saw it a lot during Degrassi, too.
OMG you are truly EVIL! I couldn't even get thru that commercial because I was almost instantly annoyed!
Grow Upbaby do not want GIFGiphy
Attention parents and grandparents of young children, Gerber life is accepting applications for the affordable grow up plan. The grow up plan gives your child 10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, then doubles automatically to 20,000 dollars later at no extra cost, start now for just pennies a day
I just had PTSD reading this.
Honestly, those ads freaked me the f*ck out. Who insures a baby? (Cue intro to a show on Investigation Discovery.)
The Pink Stuff
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
sing that in a western accent.
Every time I see this commercial, I think, "somewhere out there is a guy who is so excited to tell his family that he got his 'big break' and called his grandma to tell her he is the 'diarrhea guy!'"
I randomly have the 'Stanley Steemer's commercial jingles pop up in my head. I don't even have one in my country >:/
F*ck you Stanley Steemer.
LOOL Im the CEO's neighbor he has a Stanley Steemer van in his driveway right now!
Do you mind dropping an envelope with some of my opinions about his goddamn jingle into his mailbox?
Sure, Ill stick one through the open window of the van too.
Awesome, I finally get to vent my built-up decade-long hate for the Stanley Steamer jingle.
You have no idea how liberating this is for me and all those who had to endure the jingle and never have their carpets thoroughly cleaned.
This is actually very cathartic.
Dear Mr. "Stanley Steemer", This will be the last package I ever send your @ss. I can't believe you've done this. I used to hear your jingle from all the way in Canada and it filled me with hope, wonder and anticipation. There's no denying the jingle is a masterpiece the likes of Mozart or Bach, but let's not pretend like weaponizing it on unsuspecting viewers who cannot ever have their carpet steemed isn't a war crime.
I wondered how I could have my carpets cleaned at a young age, and in each stage of my life there was that jingle "Stanley Steemer, your certified cleaner". I honestly have no f*cking idea what that even means, even today as a man. What are you certified for? Soap and water? Is it a ruse? Are you guys even insured!? A line so vague it could mean anything, but alas it had a catchy tune.
Life went on, yet there it was. Staring me in the face like a piping hot, steaming - "Stanley Steemer makes your home cleaner!". Firstly, wow. The skill involved in creating such a simple yet effective rhyme, could move Beethoven to tears... If he wasn't deaf. I digress, I think it's time we put this all to rest. For the love of God, take down the commercial. For the sanity or those who happen to have a channel package which for some reason features local commercials and have lifelong PTSD and have spent years in therapy trying to forget. From one Stan to another, take it down. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too
The Opposite Of Feel-Good TV
No one will know this. There was a commercial for Kinder Family here in germany. Kinder are the guys who make the surprise eggs.
It was supposed to be these short 15 second skits that rotate every week or so. You could watch them online even.
I have not seen anything that was as unfunny as that before or since. It was like everytime you watch one you cringed so hard it would hurt. I felt awful after watching each and every one of them.
Double Shot Of Jersey Shore
My family watches a lot of Ridiculousness, and MTV is going back through their Jersey Shore cast catalog and making shows with Pauly D and Vinny again. The Double Shot of Love commercials are full of "yeah buddy" and "yas".
You definitely won't remember this if you weren't English and born in the 2000's. But if you were, then Llelly Kelly's were ingrained into your mind because whenever you watched Cartoon Network or Disney channel they were there.
Lelly Kelly's, the coolest shoes, lelly Kelly's they are so cool, oh wow
I know it's important. I also know commercials are louder because people tend to walk away, but god damn. You play that thing so much I feel like I got the disease!
A Quest For Silence
Never actually 'seen' it, but certainly heard it more times than anyone should have.
"What am I doing tonight? I'm calling Quest!"
Like Holy Hand grenades I don't give a sh*t what you do or who you call, lady. If I hear you advertise your stupid phone sex line one more time I swear to god I will literally implode.
I work as a security guard in a hospital over night, and spend 8 hours a day just outside a patients room. He leaves the T.V. on all night and I swear there are only 2 commercials that run on whatever shitty tv network he watches.
We would love silence but instead we get a TV blasting about the phone sex hotline ... and some stupid lady saying "They are some of the hottest videos on the internet, those videos showing you how to get rid of those bags under your eyes..."
It's the Quest phone sex one that I hate the most though.
Sorry, ShirleyRisa GIF by memecandyGiphy
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