Why do men have such an issue when it comes to sharing?
Specifically sharing about what matters most in life, our feelings and insecurities.
I know men feel that they've been trained to repress all of that.
And that is sad.
It's time to let it go.
RedditorForsaken_Zucchini420wanted all the gents out there to take a moment to discuss a few things. They asked:
"Fellas, what is your biggest insecurity as a bf/husband and why?"
This is your time gents. Speak up and share. No judges here.
Never You
Family Love GIF by HollyoaksGiphy"I play with my daughter all the time but at the end of the day, she always prefers mummy."
madeinthearcade
Care work is work...
"Well I quit my job to pursue my dream of owning my own business but it's going to take a long time to get there so right now, I'm just a stay at home dad. I thought it'd feel awesome being at home and being with my daughter while my wife works. It is awesome being with my daughter each day but man I feel kinda crappy now being a stay at home dad, like I'm not doing my part as a husband and father."
sk8t-4-life22
Dissatisfaction
"My gf becoming dissatisfied with the relationship and slowly losing the affection she has for me eventually leading her to cheat."
Fluffy_Carpenter1377
"This is how I feel. I’m afraid that somebody might come around who will catch her attention. And then just like that, she will be gone. I try my best every day to be the best boyfriend that i’ve learned to be. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in past relationships. This relationship I will not f**k up. I want this woman to be by my side."
kenzo-tx
Perfection
"That I'm not worthy of her. She's the total package and I'm just... me. What makes it really crazy is that we have been together for almost 34 years and I still feel this way. In no way, shape, or form has she shown me that this might be true. She's literally the perfect partner."
HatesNewUsernames
"just settling"
Thatll Do Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"That I am not good enough, in any sense of the word, and that my partner is 'just settling' because I'm stable. Can't help but feel sometimes they're just waiting for something better to come alone, ya know?"
ACalcifiedHeart
It's sad how we all think we're unique in our worries. But yet, here we are, more alike than not.
Listen
Listen Season 6 GIF by FriendsGiphy"That I cannot fix every problem they have and that I am not always the problem when they’re upset. I have to let them be upset and understand it’s not always me and it’s okay to just listen to them."
DankMemesMateus
Show me the...
"The lack of money that I make."'
Crocodile_toes
"Just to chime in here because most people haven’t really understood you. It’s ok as a man to have an expectation of yourself to be able to provide for your family. If the wife earns more so be it but if crap hits the fan then you know you got your family covered financially when the worst happens."
Suspicious_row_95
Wrong Time
"I know it is unlikely but dying at the wrong time. Like driving the family somewhere or she is at work (she works odd hours) and it is just me and the kids. I had this walking nightmare for years of me getting like a stroke while driving down the highway and sliding out of control with everyone screaming or me just keeling over at home while my kids sit with my corpse for 6 hours. As for why maybe it is because I like problem solving stuff for them and one day that is going to go away."
who_said_I_am_an_emu
Judgement
"The fact that I’m about to be a stay at home dad and her parents keep bothering me about what I’m gonna do. She’ll makes significantly more than I ever could and there’s literally no point in me working anymore. I just don’t like being judged. Thank you all for the thoughts and encouragement! To clear a matter up I tend to be a people pleaser and it’s something I’m really trying to work past right now, so I may not want to care about what they think, but I still do at this time!"
Square_Swordfish_916
HER
Smooch Love GIF by molehillGiphy"I married her because she is the only woman I have been with that actually makes all my insecurities go away."
craggbart
"actually there"
"Giving them the feeling of not being there for them enough. I tend to be very quiet and introverted. I've been told several times that I'm too much in my head and that they have the feeling I'm not 'actually there.' But I try to work on it and be more open about my feelings and stuff."
No-Education818
Sexy Parts
"Overly High sex drive/vicious adhd = constantly horny unfocused husband."
erolswife
"Now imagine having a girl that has no sex drive at all and you don't get to 'repay' her for what she does. It's so frustrating."
Sharktos
"Idk if this helps, but as the partner with the lower sex drive, it genuinely makes me happy when I can satisfy my partner. I don't need the exact kind of return favor because making them feel good does make me feel good, just not in my sexy parts."
Zepheria
Love Me
"Not knowing why the f they would ever love me. So there must be a other reason, and it can't be money."
BaikenNuffSaid
"The guy I'm dating often says this same thing and he says it in a half-joking way but I think deep down he means it. I find it a little distressing because I don't think he really believes me when I tell him how much I like him or when I compliment him and things like that. I just want him to feel as good about himself as I feel about him."
bain_de_beurre
Farewell
animation goodbye GIFGiphy"That one day, out of seemingly nowhere, they’ll no longer care for me. And when it happens, it hurts."
neekerbeeker3
"Have you ever heard of 'The Walkaway wife syndrome?' Maybe it can clear some things up."
OhMissFortune
Be More
"Not being enough for her. I know I work my butt of at work, emotionally supportive, and giving goals and lead way to what’s next in life. However, there’s always that voice that says you need to be more, it’s not enough, try harder. So, I push the living hell outta myself."
PunkedRebel
Bringing it down...
"For me it's feeling like i'm a drag on my partners life. I have several health issues that leave me in extreme pain near constantly, constantly sleep deprived and without any energy or motivation to do anything besides lay in bed and watch tv or listen to music while cuddling with my girlfriend."
"Meanwhile my girlfriend is a perfectly healthy, energetic and full of life young adult who wants new experiences and doesn't want to spend a minute more than she needs to resting. I try my best to keep up and if i can't do a certain activity she wants to try."
"I actively encourage her to do whatever it is she is wanting to do (i.e go to an amusement park, go on a road trip, go carting, activities like that) with her friends, but at the end of the day the unavoidable truth is i am a damper on her life and i don't see why someone like that is willing to be in a relationship with someone like me."
dman2316
Lucky
"Not being good enough. I’ve felt this way all my life to the point where it’s my normal. This is because of the way my family and friends treated me in the past. So, it was a bit of a shock when my girlfriend treated me the complete opposite way by loving me and telling me that I’m more than enough for her. The feeling of inadequacy comes up from time to time and i still have not fully dealt with it. I am really lucky though to have her as my girl."
smdik123
Still Human
Valentines Day Love GIF by Dave GamezGiphy"I have a hole in my chest cause I was born without my chest bone so now it is weird to everyone."
ptross-12
Need Coin
"The fear of not continuing to make the money I do. Over time my life has become dependent of my income, but it’s rare to get paid the way I do. So I genuinely fear not being able to find a job to keep my obligations in check. And before you say that I could downsize my life, I did. I have no debt, but because my ex and I were married for so long she gets about 2/3’rds my paycheck. I’m legally obligated to pay her that."
snwbrdj
Everyone has insecurities gentlemen. You're not alone.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.