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Men Break Down The Actual Reasons They've Ghosted Someone They Dated

Just hear me out....

Sometimes... he's just not that into you. It's a difficult truth to undertake, but we've all been there. Rejection in the amorous department is a killer and it never gets easier, but we'll all survive. What has been become more difficult is the acceptance of the delivery of the rejection. Why do grown men feel the need to be children.... sorry, I mean ghosts? We may finally get some answers. Just say what you feel. Be a human being.

Redditor u/bzctz827 wanted all the men out there to give us some inside scoop, reasons and hard truths about the state of relations today.... by asking.... Men who ghosted women for seemingly "no reason", what was actually your reason?

Let's all get some vodka and reconvene.

All that she wants....

Awkward Nick Jonas GIF by Jonas BrothersGiphy

She only talked to me when she wanted something, and it was always when she needed emotional support, but then was curiously absent when I'd ask the same. Was just exhausting and I didn't want to go through the effort of explaining it to her.... it wouldn't have changed anything.


We'll See

She never mentioned that she had a kid prior to the date then spent the whole date texting the baby daddy.

Openly disparaged my profession despite knowing it from day one.

And the kicker, casually mentioned that she was "afraid because as more brown people moved into the area there was more kidnappings happening in the local Walmart" (no kidnapping had been reported in the last 12 months).

So yea I never talked to her again, though I didn't exactly imply I was going to after that date anyway more of a "we'll see."



She simply wouldn't accept that I broke up with her. The onslaught of texts and voice mails begging for me to take her back followed up by her calling me every name in the book just adds up you know? So for my own sanity I had to block her number and through any other forms of communication. I got many, many more notices of a block number trying to text or call me for two weeks after that. Then it all stopped. I regret nothing, ghosting was the only way I could get away from that.


One Way Out

I realized I was doing all the talking/asking all the questions to get to know her. Having a one-way conversation is exhausting and that's why I hate online dating so much. Why bother matching if you're not going to contribute anything?


"oh, i don't like to"

She was $200k+ in debt

She had a chronic medical condition that was manageable but would require me to change my lifestyle if things got serious.

She had a phobia of talking on the phone, not just "oh, i don't like to" but actually talking on the phone could induce PTSD. Texting was fine.

These are things you deal with if they come up when you're already committed, but i didn't want to sign up for all that after just 1 date. I couldn't think of a polite reason to tell her because we did have matching personalities, besides that other stuff.


First Date Issues

The first date was weird. It was fine at first. I met her on a dating site. She was a little different looking then her pic but I was ok with it. After a movie we went to a bar in NYC. I went to the bathroom and when I came back to our table there was a different woman there. It was her best friend who had shadowed us and asked a ton of questions.

After I passed the 'test' they took me to an underground hookah bar in the village. I don't like cigarettes let alone what everyone was smoking. I hung out for a bit and left politely. I should have texted back the times she texted me but I was young and inconsiderate.


So Messy....

Oh man early 20's I was just bad at this.

One girl first date she seemed way to overly assumptive. I'm not saying she named the kids yet, but I got the impressions she was running names. That one turned into a bit of a stalker situation.

Was sober the next morning and decided I couldn't do that to a friend. That turned into a messy situation as well.

She was a stripper, I wasn't adult enough yet to say I really like you but I don't know how to manage that aspect of your life.


Break the Fever

espn argentina fever GIF by ESPN SurGiphy

First date, she didn't look like her profile picture and kept talking about having baby fever and would talk about it and then stare at me to try to gauge my reaction.


"cyber sex" 

An ex coworker texted me and I thought it was cool because she always seemed really nice and I thought she was really attractive. This was before you could text images so "cyber sex" as they called it in the golden age of digital perversion was telling each other what you'd like to do to them and they describe how they're reacting, what they're wearing, etc. A text version of a hot Facetime date.

Anyway as things get more heated with this girl she starts working in yard maintenance equipment to the point that she only lets me describe her as if she's grass and I'm a lawn mower and I'm using all these tools to pleasure her. It just gets too weird for me so I cut her off completely and won't respond to anything she texts me. She keeps texting me for about a month the I suppose she realized I wasn't interested anymore.


be cool....

Mariah Carey GIF by TwitterGiphy

I went home for christmas, told her i'd message when I'm back in town, sent one text when i got back. All I got back from her was "cool". So I left it at that.


Can't Feel It

I have bonding issues caused by how I was raised by my parents.

(Edit: I read this again. Its a strong affection rather than a cause)

Wen things start to get going and I start to feel genuine affection, I get a strong gut feeling that I have to leave immediately, I will get burnt. And it will hurt so much that I will die.

I am doing therapy and I hope I will conquer the fear.


Job Hunting

Every time she texted me, it was pretty much just to complain about her job. That didn't justify me ghosting her though. I still feel bad. We were probably around 4 months. I asked her out probably a week after texting and then a few weeks later. Both times she said she would rather keep texting for a while.



old man no GIFGiphy

She barely said a word on the first date, and I tried to pull conversation out of her. Also felt no connection whatsoever.


Gotta go... go... GO! 

We both had recently gone through breakups and were just meeting for sex. Then she told me her boyfriend left her because she slipped him GHB thinking that he would find it sexy, she didn't see what was wrong with that and then pulled out a damn mason jar full of it to show me. I literally left when she was in the bathroom and never texted/called back.


Feelings Lost

Was into this girl she was a few years older. She wanted something casual so I went with it. After a while I noticed I had developed some feelings, told her about it. She said we should no longer continue but can be friends.

I was down with it. But then I found out she had lied to me about having a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend the entire time, and I had made it very clear to her numerous times I wanted nothing to do with her if she was in a relationship.

I felt so wrong. I have been cheated on in the past, and I never wanted to be part of an affair. She tried to blame me, saying it was my fault, I should have known, and that even if I had known I still would have had sex with her because all guys are the same and only want sex.

I stopped talking to her. She's reached out a few times calling me a little fool for not wanting to be friends with her anymore.


Just Shut Up

bla talking GIF by neomagazinroyaleGiphy

She would not stop talking. Everyday, from 8 am to 11 pm, I just had a wall of texts. I didn't even answer most of the time but she didn't seem to need a partner in the conversation.


"6 Months Later..."

Went on a 2 dates, she made a big deal that night about waiting to sleep together. The next morning I get a phone call that my father passed away... little foggy for a few months after that with depression and so on. 6 months later I realized that I never called her back, but didn't matter during that time I lost my phone and all contacts. Now it's been a few years, and the funny thing is I was just thinking about that before I read this question.


Making it Weird....

My ex-girlfriend wouldn't stop texting or calling me when I told her we were done. I had tried to be nice and be friendly after we broke up but she just couldn't accept the message that we were done, so eventually I just told her that there was absolutely nothing left for us to discuss and that since she couldn't seem to leave me alone I had to block her and not respond to her in any way.

She told our mutual friends that I "ghosted her" for absolutely no reason and with no warning and a bunch of them ended up hating me, including my best friend's girlfriend who was the one who had originally introduced us. It was super awkward for a while.


Glenn Close is that you?

glenn close GIFGiphy

She dyed her hair my fav color after one date and told my friends how much she was into me. Also started bawling to me that I was considerate enough to call and say I'd be late as her ex never did. There was too much obsession and damage done. She later showed up at my house looking for me and insisted I was home when I wasn't as she stole a pair of my shoes.


"who you are?" 

Basically wouldn't ghost unless she showed a complete lack of respect for my time.

I've left from a date and ghosted because she was 45 min late, and texted asking me to wait because she was still on another date.

I also don't mess around with women who don't look like their profile picture.

This isn't a vanity thing, its about lying about something as basic as "who you are" and typically is a sign she's got self esteem issues she's trying to fix by getting a man. I never ghosted these women flat out but i made an excuse not to see them again. If they tried to guilt me into dating them, then I'd ghost.



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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.