Men Break Down The Actual Reasons They've Ghosted Someone They Dated
Just hear me out....
Sometimes... he's just not that into you. It's a difficult truth to undertake, but we've all been there. Rejection in the amorous department is a killer and it never gets easier, but we'll all survive. What has been become more difficult is the acceptance of the delivery of the rejection. Why do grown men feel the need to be children.... sorry, I mean ghosts? We may finally get some answers. Just say what you feel. Be a human being.
Redditor u/bzctz827 wanted all the men out there to give us some inside scoop, reasons and hard truths about the state of relations today.... by asking.... Men who ghosted women for seemingly "no reason", what was actually your reason?
Let's all get some vodka and reconvene.
All that she wants....Awkward Nick Jonas GIF by Jonas BrothersGiphy
She only talked to me when she wanted something, and it was always when she needed emotional support, but then was curiously absent when I'd ask the same. Was just exhausting and I didn't want to go through the effort of explaining it to her.... it wouldn't have changed anything.
She never mentioned that she had a kid prior to the date then spent the whole date texting the baby daddy.
Openly disparaged my profession despite knowing it from day one.
And the kicker, casually mentioned that she was "afraid because as more brown people moved into the area there was more kidnappings happening in the local Walmart" (no kidnapping had been reported in the last 12 months).
So yea I never talked to her again, though I didn't exactly imply I was going to after that date anyway more of a "we'll see."
She simply wouldn't accept that I broke up with her. The onslaught of texts and voice mails begging for me to take her back followed up by her calling me every name in the book just adds up you know? So for my own sanity I had to block her number and through any other forms of communication. I got many, many more notices of a block number trying to text or call me for two weeks after that. Then it all stopped. I regret nothing, ghosting was the only way I could get away from that.
One Way Out
I realized I was doing all the talking/asking all the questions to get to know her. Having a one-way conversation is exhausting and that's why I hate online dating so much. Why bother matching if you're not going to contribute anything?
"oh, i don't like to"
She was $200k+ in debt
She had a chronic medical condition that was manageable but would require me to change my lifestyle if things got serious.
She had a phobia of talking on the phone, not just "oh, i don't like to" but actually talking on the phone could induce PTSD. Texting was fine.
These are things you deal with if they come up when you're already committed, but i didn't want to sign up for all that after just 1 date. I couldn't think of a polite reason to tell her because we did have matching personalities, besides that other stuff.
First Date Issues
The first date was weird. It was fine at first. I met her on a dating site. She was a little different looking then her pic but I was ok with it. After a movie we went to a bar in NYC. I went to the bathroom and when I came back to our table there was a different woman there. It was her best friend who had shadowed us and asked a ton of questions.
After I passed the 'test' they took me to an underground hookah bar in the village. I don't like cigarettes let alone what everyone was smoking. I hung out for a bit and left politely. I should have texted back the times she texted me but I was young and inconsiderate.
Oh man early 20's I was just bad at this.
One girl first date she seemed way to overly assumptive. I'm not saying she named the kids yet, but I got the impressions she was running names. That one turned into a bit of a stalker situation.
Was sober the next morning and decided I couldn't do that to a friend. That turned into a messy situation as well.
She was a stripper, I wasn't adult enough yet to say I really like you but I don't know how to manage that aspect of your life.
Break the Feverespn argentina fever GIF by ESPN SurGiphy
First date, she didn't look like her profile picture and kept talking about having baby fever and would talk about it and then stare at me to try to gauge my reaction.
An ex coworker texted me and I thought it was cool because she always seemed really nice and I thought she was really attractive. This was before you could text images so "cyber sex" as they called it in the golden age of digital perversion was telling each other what you'd like to do to them and they describe how they're reacting, what they're wearing, etc. A text version of a hot Facetime date.
Anyway as things get more heated with this girl she starts working in yard maintenance equipment to the point that she only lets me describe her as if she's grass and I'm a lawn mower and I'm using all these tools to pleasure her. It just gets too weird for me so I cut her off completely and won't respond to anything she texts me. She keeps texting me for about a month the I suppose she realized I wasn't interested anymore.
be cool....Mariah Carey GIF by TwitterGiphy
I went home for christmas, told her i'd message when I'm back in town, sent one text when i got back. All I got back from her was "cool". So I left it at that.
Can't Feel It
I have bonding issues caused by how I was raised by my parents.
(Edit: I read this again. Its a strong affection rather than a cause)
Wen things start to get going and I start to feel genuine affection, I get a strong gut feeling that I have to leave immediately, I will get burnt. And it will hurt so much that I will die.
I am doing therapy and I hope I will conquer the fear.
Every time she texted me, it was pretty much just to complain about her job. That didn't justify me ghosting her though. I still feel bad. We were probably around 4 months. I asked her out probably a week after texting and then a few weeks later. Both times she said she would rather keep texting for a while.
disconnectold man no GIFGiphy
She barely said a word on the first date, and I tried to pull conversation out of her. Also felt no connection whatsoever.
Gotta go... go... GO!
We both had recently gone through breakups and were just meeting for sex. Then she told me her boyfriend left her because she slipped him GHB thinking that he would find it sexy, she didn't see what was wrong with that and then pulled out a damn mason jar full of it to show me. I literally left when she was in the bathroom and never texted/called back.
Was into this girl she was a few years older. She wanted something casual so I went with it. After a while I noticed I had developed some feelings, told her about it. She said we should no longer continue but can be friends.
I was down with it. But then I found out she had lied to me about having a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend the entire time, and I had made it very clear to her numerous times I wanted nothing to do with her if she was in a relationship.
I felt so wrong. I have been cheated on in the past, and I never wanted to be part of an affair. She tried to blame me, saying it was my fault, I should have known, and that even if I had known I still would have had sex with her because all guys are the same and only want sex.
I stopped talking to her. She's reached out a few times calling me a little fool for not wanting to be friends with her anymore.
Just Shut Upbla talking GIF by neomagazinroyaleGiphy
She would not stop talking. Everyday, from 8 am to 11 pm, I just had a wall of texts. I didn't even answer most of the time but she didn't seem to need a partner in the conversation.
"6 Months Later..."
Went on a 2 dates, she made a big deal that night about waiting to sleep together. The next morning I get a phone call that my father passed away... little foggy for a few months after that with depression and so on. 6 months later I realized that I never called her back, but didn't matter during that time I lost my phone and all contacts. Now it's been a few years, and the funny thing is I was just thinking about that before I read this question.
Making it Weird....
My ex-girlfriend wouldn't stop texting or calling me when I told her we were done. I had tried to be nice and be friendly after we broke up but she just couldn't accept the message that we were done, so eventually I just told her that there was absolutely nothing left for us to discuss and that since she couldn't seem to leave me alone I had to block her and not respond to her in any way.
She told our mutual friends that I "ghosted her" for absolutely no reason and with no warning and a bunch of them ended up hating me, including my best friend's girlfriend who was the one who had originally introduced us. It was super awkward for a while.
Glenn Close is that you?glenn close GIFGiphy
She dyed her hair my fav color after one date and told my friends how much she was into me. Also started bawling to me that I was considerate enough to call and say I'd be late as her ex never did. There was too much obsession and damage done. She later showed up at my house looking for me and insisted I was home when I wasn't as she stole a pair of my shoes.
"who you are?"
Basically wouldn't ghost unless she showed a complete lack of respect for my time.
I've left from a date and ghosted because she was 45 min late, and texted asking me to wait because she was still on another date.
I also don't mess around with women who don't look like their profile picture.
This isn't a vanity thing, its about lying about something as basic as "who you are" and typically is a sign she's got self esteem issues she's trying to fix by getting a man. I never ghosted these women flat out but i made an excuse not to see them again. If they tried to guilt me into dating them, then I'd ghost.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
"Best for mac and cheese."
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
"Fusilli because it's silly."
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
Perhaps the best thing about our friends is that we can always rely on them.
To help us out, to give us words of comfort and wisdom when we need them, or to just be a willing pair of ears.
Even so, our friends still have a way of surprising us, as well as disappointing us from time to time.
Sometimes they'll do things that just make us groan and roll our eyes but are easily forgiven over time.
Other times, however, they might do or say something which can only be described as "f*cked up."
Potentially putting an effective end to your friendship.
"What is the most f**ked up thing you've seen a friend do?"
Those Poor Cats...
"A guy I worked with was about to take his wife on a trip back to their mutual hometown in another state."
"They had a pair of delightful kittens and they asked me if I would watch them while they were gone."
"I had little experience with cats but these 2 were just wonderfully playful."
"I gave him a call when he got back to arrange returning the kittens but he said they had picked up a non-cat friendly dog on the journey and he would just drop off the kittens in the woods."
"Needless to say, I kept them and they were wonderful furry friends for me and eventually to my wife and kids."
"I still think what would have happened to them if I had not been in the right place at the right time."- PoloGrounder
"I went on holiday for a week and asked my 'best friend' to pop in and feed my cat (he lived a few doors away)."
"When I got back, my cat was laying by the back door of my house, went inside and his bowl was empty, I called him and asked when the last time he fed him, he said 'oh yeah, I forgot'."
"My cat had been outside for a week with no food or water. "
"I haven't spoken to him in 12 years."- Reddit
Always Listen To Your Doctor
"Convinced his girlfriend she was suffering from gluten intolerance instead of schizophrenia, and got her to stop taking medication."- lightningandmadness
But Was It A Point Worth Proving?
"Deliberately get knocked down by a car, in order to prove that when drunk (and we were very drunk), his bones were flexible."
"Fortunately, the car had been slowing to turn."
"There followed a couple of minutes trying to reassure the driver he was ok, whilst calling him an idiot."
"Meanwhile, he was laying flat on his back, maintaining he'd proved his point."- anothercynicaloldgit
It Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"Best friend was excited for me to meet his new gf."
"The whole evening he bragged about how she was still married and he was going to be the reason she got divorced."
"Haven't spoken to him since."
"Did hear she broke up with him and sorted out the issues with her husband."- hmfiddlesworth
Karma Is Pretty Unforgiving...
"Brought my friend to watch my boyfriend practice his drumming."
"She kept spreading her legs wide wearing a skirt with no underwear."
"She slept with him and he left me thinking he would be with her."
"Needless to say she didn’t date him because she already had a boyfriend."- Final_Objective_6204Kar
"We were working in an old lady's attic and he kicked the sh*t out of a pipe on purpose then went and told her it needed to be replaced."
"I never worked with him again after that."- FriendlyDifference72
"Brag about a then—boyfriend not leaving her despite constant cheating."
"Then cry when he left her."
"I don’t know either."- Snapesnape716
In With The Wrong Crowd
"They were arguing and he made fun of the friend for being an orphan."
"Tried to stab the other friend cuz his ex was crushing on him."- we_are_ghetto
Not Worth A Second Thought
"Throw McDonald’s fries and burger as hard as he could at a homeless lady asking for food."
"I called him a piece of sh*t and never spoke to him again."- Mundane_Tour_3215
You Don't Mess With Family...
"My best friend had just broken up with my brother—who had moved over a thousand miles and changed jobs to be with her—citing personal differences."
"My brother was devastated, but I tried to respect her decision and be a source of support for both of them, especially because they truly weren’t the best fit."
"But then she shared with me, because she knew that I loved her and would be happy for her so long as she was happy, that she’d been cheating on my brother for the past month and had found her soulmate."
"The depth of my brother’s heartbreak, already immense, was further compounded by the infidelity."
"To my bewilderment, she truly couldn’t understand why I was ending the friendship, seemed so distraught that I would end a years long relationship over something so 'small'."
"And I still can’t comprehend why she thought telling me would result in anything other than a complete door slam."
"Hannah, you still suck."
"And I’m still angry."
"I had also asked her to be the maid of 'honor' in my upcoming wedding."
Some friendships can withstand fundamental differences of opinion.
But no friendship is worth hanging onto when people (and kittens) are physically or emotionally harmed.
When you gotta go, you go.
That should be a mantra for getting rid of the toxic people in our lives.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
Some people don't know how to be friends.
They are awfully good at pretending though.
Be vigilant of the signs and red flags.
Toxic people are crafty.
And once you're free, never look back.
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning StagesWeekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy
"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
Money IssuesDonald Duck Money GIFGiphy
"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of SupportHappy Planning GIFGiphy
"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
Life Changespoint pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy
"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.