Sometimes... he's just not that into you. It's a difficult truth to undertake, but we've all been there. Rejection in the amorous department is a killer and it never gets easier, but we'll all survive. What has been become more difficult is the acceptance of the delivery of the rejection. Why do grown men feel the need to be children.... sorry, I mean ghosts? We may finally get some answers. Just say what you feel. Be a human being.
Redditor u/bzctz827 wanted all the men out there to give us some inside scoop, reasons and hard truths about the state of relations today.... by asking.... Men who ghosted women for seemingly "no reason", what was actually your reason?
Let's all get some vodka and reconvene.
All that she wants....
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She only talked to me when she wanted something, and it was always when she needed emotional support, but then was curiously absent when I'd ask the same. Was just exhausting and I didn't want to go through the effort of explaining it to her.... it wouldn't have changed anything.
We'll See
She never mentioned that she had a kid prior to the date then spent the whole date texting the baby daddy.
Openly disparaged my profession despite knowing it from day one.
And the kicker, casually mentioned that she was "afraid because as more brown people moved into the area there was more kidnappings happening in the local Walmart" (no kidnapping had been reported in the last 12 months).
So yea I never talked to her again, though I didn't exactly imply I was going to after that date anyway more of a "we'll see."
BLOCK!
She simply wouldn't accept that I broke up with her. The onslaught of texts and voice mails begging for me to take her back followed up by her calling me every name in the book just adds up you know? So for my own sanity I had to block her number and through any other forms of communication. I got many, many more notices of a block number trying to text or call me for two weeks after that. Then it all stopped. I regret nothing, ghosting was the only way I could get away from that.
One Way Out
I realized I was doing all the talking/asking all the questions to get to know her. Having a one-way conversation is exhausting and that's why I hate online dating so much. Why bother matching if you're not going to contribute anything?
"oh, i don't like to"
She was $200k+ in debt
She had a chronic medical condition that was manageable but would require me to change my lifestyle if things got serious.
She had a phobia of talking on the phone, not just "oh, i don't like to" but actually talking on the phone could induce PTSD. Texting was fine.
These are things you deal with if they come up when you're already committed, but i didn't want to sign up for all that after just 1 date. I couldn't think of a polite reason to tell her because we did have matching personalities, besides that other stuff.
First Date Issues
The first date was weird. It was fine at first. I met her on a dating site. She was a little different looking then her pic but I was ok with it. After a movie we went to a bar in NYC. I went to the bathroom and when I came back to our table there was a different woman there. It was her best friend who had shadowed us and asked a ton of questions.
After I passed the 'test' they took me to an underground hookah bar in the village. I don't like cigarettes let alone what everyone was smoking. I hung out for a bit and left politely. I should have texted back the times she texted me but I was young and inconsiderate.
So Messy....
Oh man early 20's I was just bad at this.
One girl first date she seemed way to overly assumptive. I'm not saying she named the kids yet, but I got the impressions she was running names. That one turned into a bit of a stalker situation.
Was sober the next morning and decided I couldn't do that to a friend. That turned into a messy situation as well.
She was a stripper, I wasn't adult enough yet to say I really like you but I don't know how to manage that aspect of your life.
Break the Fever
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First date, she didn't look like her profile picture and kept talking about having baby fever and would talk about it and then stare at me to try to gauge my reaction.
"cyber sex"
An ex coworker texted me and I thought it was cool because she always seemed really nice and I thought she was really attractive. This was before you could text images so "cyber sex" as they called it in the golden age of digital perversion was telling each other what you'd like to do to them and they describe how they're reacting, what they're wearing, etc. A text version of a hot Facetime date.
Anyway as things get more heated with this girl she starts working in yard maintenance equipment to the point that she only lets me describe her as if she's grass and I'm a lawn mower and I'm using all these tools to pleasure her. It just gets too weird for me so I cut her off completely and won't respond to anything she texts me. She keeps texting me for about a month the I suppose she realized I wasn't interested anymore.
be cool....
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I went home for christmas, told her i'd message when I'm back in town, sent one text when i got back. All I got back from her was "cool". So I left it at that.
Can't Feel It
I have bonding issues caused by how I was raised by my parents.
(Edit: I read this again. Its a strong affection rather than a cause)
Wen things start to get going and I start to feel genuine affection, I get a strong gut feeling that I have to leave immediately, I will get burnt. And it will hurt so much that I will die.
I am doing therapy and I hope I will conquer the fear.
Job Hunting
Every time she texted me, it was pretty much just to complain about her job. That didn't justify me ghosting her though. I still feel bad. We were probably around 4 months. I asked her out probably a week after texting and then a few weeks later. Both times she said she would rather keep texting for a while.
disconnect
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She barely said a word on the first date, and I tried to pull conversation out of her. Also felt no connection whatsoever.
Gotta go... go... GO!
We both had recently gone through breakups and were just meeting for sex. Then she told me her boyfriend left her because she slipped him GHB thinking that he would find it sexy, she didn't see what was wrong with that and then pulled out a damn mason jar full of it to show me. I literally left when she was in the bathroom and never texted/called back.
Feelings Lost
Was into this girl she was a few years older. She wanted something casual so I went with it. After a while I noticed I had developed some feelings, told her about it. She said we should no longer continue but can be friends.
I was down with it. But then I found out she had lied to me about having a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend the entire time, and I had made it very clear to her numerous times I wanted nothing to do with her if she was in a relationship.
I felt so wrong. I have been cheated on in the past, and I never wanted to be part of an affair. She tried to blame me, saying it was my fault, I should have known, and that even if I had known I still would have had sex with her because all guys are the same and only want sex.
I stopped talking to her. She's reached out a few times calling me a little fool for not wanting to be friends with her anymore.
Just Shut Up
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She would not stop talking. Everyday, from 8 am to 11 pm, I just had a wall of texts. I didn't even answer most of the time but she didn't seem to need a partner in the conversation.
"6 Months Later..."
Went on a 2 dates, she made a big deal that night about waiting to sleep together. The next morning I get a phone call that my father passed away... little foggy for a few months after that with depression and so on. 6 months later I realized that I never called her back, but didn't matter during that time I lost my phone and all contacts. Now it's been a few years, and the funny thing is I was just thinking about that before I read this question.
Making it Weird....
My ex-girlfriend wouldn't stop texting or calling me when I told her we were done. I had tried to be nice and be friendly after we broke up but she just couldn't accept the message that we were done, so eventually I just told her that there was absolutely nothing left for us to discuss and that since she couldn't seem to leave me alone I had to block her and not respond to her in any way.
She told our mutual friends that I "ghosted her" for absolutely no reason and with no warning and a bunch of them ended up hating me, including my best friend's girlfriend who was the one who had originally introduced us. It was super awkward for a while.
Glenn Close is that you?
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She dyed her hair my fav color after one date and told my friends how much she was into me. Also started bawling to me that I was considerate enough to call and say I'd be late as her ex never did. There was too much obsession and damage done. She later showed up at my house looking for me and insisted I was home when I wasn't as she stole a pair of my shoes.
"who you are?"
Basically wouldn't ghost unless she showed a complete lack of respect for my time.
I've left from a date and ghosted because she was 45 min late, and texted asking me to wait because she was still on another date.
I also don't mess around with women who don't look like their profile picture.
This isn't a vanity thing, its about lying about something as basic as "who you are" and typically is a sign she's got self esteem issues she's trying to fix by getting a man. I never ghosted these women flat out but i made an excuse not to see them again. If they tried to guilt me into dating them, then I'd ghost.
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When a friend insists we travel to certain cities because we would "just love it," they're setting the bar pretty high.
And a city can also boast a rich history or an attraction that makes us curious enough to find out what makes it so appealing.
But, alas, when we finally reach the destination, it's never exactly what we thought it would be.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor tshirtguy2000 asked:
"What city is overrated?"
These are not officially real cities but they do have a rotating population.
It's Always A Party There
"Party city."
"As a former slave associate at party city. I 100% agree."
Lotsa Crime
"Cabot Cove, the murder capital of the world."
"Sure, the murders are all solved, but would you really want to live in a city with that much, easily solved, crime?"
– Andvare
Neighbor To Springfield
Shelbyville. Those f'kers steal trees from neighboring cities.
the simpsons episode 25 GIFGiphyThese were once considered destination cities but their popularity eventually took a nose dive.
Not Pair-A-Dice
"Atlantic City. Venture a few blocks off the boardwalk and it's incredibly depressing. Very clearly an area exploited by the big casinos while the locals have been driven to absolute poverty, while they still force a smile to work the shops that are required for the tourist traffic."
– juanzy
Lots Of Water
"Niagara Falls, Canada. I grew up there. Mayor pumps most of tax $ to casinos and tourism with flashy vegas-esque attractions."
Meh Beach
"Myrtle Beach. I'm not even saying that it has a good reputation, I'm just saying that any shred of positive thinking about it makes it overrated."
Where A Creek Is An Exciting Attraction
"Lamb's Grove, Iowa. It's not the paradise on earth that people always say it is. Don't get me wrong, it's got great Chinese food but the motel 6 is meh at best."
– shah357
Impressions for these cities fell far below expectation.
Do-Bye
"Dubai. It's the clickbait of the world. 'We have the biggest/tallest/most expensive YOU WON'T BELIEVE when you see THIS...' It's hot as f*k, everything's a man-made tourist trap; labor exploitation and racism are rampant, and they try so hard to prove to the world how modern and Westernized they are. Really, it's just government propaganda."
Truth be told, many cities can be overrated.
It just depends on a person's experience, or a resident's perspective about what it is about the location they live in that is nothing worth writing home about.
If I had to choose, I would say Las Vegas is overrated, but that's because there is nothing in Sin City that is of personal interest to me.
I may be severely judged for my opinion, but that is a gamble I'm willing to take.
Redditor William84000 asked:
“Women of reddit, what question do you have of men that you'd really like an answer to?"
His question started an informative thread for women to ask men the questions they've been wondering and receive honest, real-life answers.
Ouch...
“How long does it take to recover if you've been hit in the balls?” Snowy-avocado
“Anywhere from 5 minutes to literally turning to dust like we were Thanos snapped.” secondhand_organs
dust whirls GIFGiphy“The Big Dumb Object...”
“I've always wanted to know: why do you like loud machinery so much? For older men it's mowers, leaf blowers and such. For younger men, it's modified cars and motorbikes. What's the deal with the loud machines?” marshmellow_bunnyx
“Power and tools. Tools are a thing that gets stuff done, and they are loud because they contain the natural essence power of violent explosions and fire. Most men like powerful things, instead of powerful people.”
“In sci-fi, this is called 'The Big Dumb Object', and is pretty much a trademark of sci fi books written by men” Connect-Zebra7173
To shave or not to shave?
“Does body hair on a woman bother you that much?" reillydean28
“Leg/arm hair? Don't even notice. Armpit hair? Not my thing but not my choice/decision. Pubic hair? I'd prefer not, but it's not going to stop me from getting the job done." wHUT_fun
It’s a power and control thing...
“Why send a d*ck pic?" stavinlawrence
“I think for most men it's a power dynamic thing. Either it gets them off or it just makes them feel in control."
“Then I assume there's the added bonus of if she likes it she might send a nude back. But these losers have a greater chance of buying a "get bigger penis pills" that actually work before a girl appreciates an unsolicited nude." InertialEclipse
"Do you notice the little things?”
“Do you notice the little things about women like a new hair cut, when they wear makeup or a nice outfit?” xforeverlove22
“I can't speak for everyone but for me, nope. Not at all. My uncle had a moustache for like 20 years and one day decided to shave it off. I didn't notice it. I noticed there was a weird atmosphere around me like ‘come on, say something’, so I small talked with him.”
“A few hours later after he left they asked me if I seriously didn't notice that his moustache was gone. My answer was ‘What moustache?‘ And makeup would definitly fly over my head.” PleaseTakeThisName
Lets just not touch people without permission...
“What things have women done that make you uncomfortable?" charloget
“Had a few grab my junk at random. Even had a couple that just forced a kiss on me. I don't usually experience women trying to pick me up, but the few times I did was never great. It was either negging, overly sexually aggressive and always in a group." bahamabanana
On today's episode of sink of float...
“Do penis' float like a buoy? I heard they do but have never been able to verify it.” TheFantasticV
“I mean it's buoyant but it can't really do much besides lazily sorta half float there. Still amused the f**k out of my wife to learn.” secondhand_organs
GiphyEveryone just wants to be loved...
“What makes you feel loved?” linedizzy
“A compliment, a hug or a kiss we don't have to initiate.” Nuitari8
Plastic surgery?
“Do guys care if women get cosmetic procedures done?” dookieconductor
“I don't necessarily care about the work itself, I'd be more concerned about understanding why she felt like she wanted to get it done and help her feel body positive for whatever work has been done or if she feels like she needs work.” -notjosh-
Math will kill a mood everytime...
“What does it feel like when you're having sex and you're trying not to 'get there'? Is it frustrating? What do you do/think about to keep it from happening?" uhohoreolas
“I sometimes do math like 333*3... But often I am fine with just controlling things to focus mostly on her pleasure instead of mine. Tho sometimes she is excited and ends up moving in unaccounted ways while I am a hair away and there is no stopping it. I definitely don't find it frustrating. It is still very enjoyable." Fkire
Some of these Q&A's were unexpected but now we know! This important thing here though is knowing it's ok to ask questions sometimes.
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