Sometimes... he's just not that into you. It's a difficult truth to undertake, but we've all been there. Rejection in the amorous department is a killer and it never gets easier, but we'll all survive. What has been become more difficult is the acceptance of the delivery of the rejection. Why do grown men feel the need to be children.... sorry, I mean ghosts? We may finally get some answers. Just say what you feel. Be a human being.
Redditor u/bzctz827 wanted all the men out there to give us some inside scoop, reasons and hard truths about the state of relations today.... by asking.... Men who ghosted women for seemingly "no reason", what was actually your reason?
Let's all get some vodka and reconvene.
All that she wants....
Awkward Nick Jonas GIF by Jonas Brothers
Giphy
She only talked to me when she wanted something, and it was always when she needed emotional support, but then was curiously absent when I'd ask the same. Was just exhausting and I didn't want to go through the effort of explaining it to her.... it wouldn't have changed anything.
We'll See
She never mentioned that she had a kid prior to the date then spent the whole date texting the baby daddy.
Openly disparaged my profession despite knowing it from day one.
And the kicker, casually mentioned that she was "afraid because as more brown people moved into the area there was more kidnappings happening in the local Walmart" (no kidnapping had been reported in the last 12 months).
So yea I never talked to her again, though I didn't exactly imply I was going to after that date anyway more of a "we'll see."
BLOCK!
She simply wouldn't accept that I broke up with her. The onslaught of texts and voice mails begging for me to take her back followed up by her calling me every name in the book just adds up you know? So for my own sanity I had to block her number and through any other forms of communication. I got many, many more notices of a block number trying to text or call me for two weeks after that. Then it all stopped. I regret nothing, ghosting was the only way I could get away from that.
One Way Out
I realized I was doing all the talking/asking all the questions to get to know her. Having a one-way conversation is exhausting and that's why I hate online dating so much. Why bother matching if you're not going to contribute anything?
"oh, i don't like to"
She was $200k+ in debt
She had a chronic medical condition that was manageable but would require me to change my lifestyle if things got serious.
She had a phobia of talking on the phone, not just "oh, i don't like to" but actually talking on the phone could induce PTSD. Texting was fine.
These are things you deal with if they come up when you're already committed, but i didn't want to sign up for all that after just 1 date. I couldn't think of a polite reason to tell her because we did have matching personalities, besides that other stuff.
First Date Issues
The first date was weird. It was fine at first. I met her on a dating site. She was a little different looking then her pic but I was ok with it. After a movie we went to a bar in NYC. I went to the bathroom and when I came back to our table there was a different woman there. It was her best friend who had shadowed us and asked a ton of questions.
After I passed the 'test' they took me to an underground hookah bar in the village. I don't like cigarettes let alone what everyone was smoking. I hung out for a bit and left politely. I should have texted back the times she texted me but I was young and inconsiderate.
So Messy....
Oh man early 20's I was just bad at this.
One girl first date she seemed way to overly assumptive. I'm not saying she named the kids yet, but I got the impressions she was running names. That one turned into a bit of a stalker situation.
Was sober the next morning and decided I couldn't do that to a friend. That turned into a messy situation as well.
She was a stripper, I wasn't adult enough yet to say I really like you but I don't know how to manage that aspect of your life.
Break the Fever
espn argentina fever GIF by ESPN Sur
Giphy
First date, she didn't look like her profile picture and kept talking about having baby fever and would talk about it and then stare at me to try to gauge my reaction.
"cyber sex"
An ex coworker texted me and I thought it was cool because she always seemed really nice and I thought she was really attractive. This was before you could text images so "cyber sex" as they called it in the golden age of digital perversion was telling each other what you'd like to do to them and they describe how they're reacting, what they're wearing, etc. A text version of a hot Facetime date.
Anyway as things get more heated with this girl she starts working in yard maintenance equipment to the point that she only lets me describe her as if she's grass and I'm a lawn mower and I'm using all these tools to pleasure her. It just gets too weird for me so I cut her off completely and won't respond to anything she texts me. She keeps texting me for about a month the I suppose she realized I wasn't interested anymore.
be cool....
Mariah Carey GIF by Twitter
Giphy
I went home for christmas, told her i'd message when I'm back in town, sent one text when i got back. All I got back from her was "cool". So I left it at that.
Can't Feel It
I have bonding issues caused by how I was raised by my parents.
(Edit: I read this again. Its a strong affection rather than a cause)
Wen things start to get going and I start to feel genuine affection, I get a strong gut feeling that I have to leave immediately, I will get burnt. And it will hurt so much that I will die.
I am doing therapy and I hope I will conquer the fear.
Job Hunting
Every time she texted me, it was pretty much just to complain about her job. That didn't justify me ghosting her though. I still feel bad. We were probably around 4 months. I asked her out probably a week after texting and then a few weeks later. Both times she said she would rather keep texting for a while.
disconnect
old man no GIF
Giphy
She barely said a word on the first date, and I tried to pull conversation out of her. Also felt no connection whatsoever.
Gotta go... go... GO!
We both had recently gone through breakups and were just meeting for sex. Then she told me her boyfriend left her because she slipped him GHB thinking that he would find it sexy, she didn't see what was wrong with that and then pulled out a damn mason jar full of it to show me. I literally left when she was in the bathroom and never texted/called back.
Feelings Lost
Was into this girl she was a few years older. She wanted something casual so I went with it. After a while I noticed I had developed some feelings, told her about it. She said we should no longer continue but can be friends.
I was down with it. But then I found out she had lied to me about having a boyfriend. She had a boyfriend the entire time, and I had made it very clear to her numerous times I wanted nothing to do with her if she was in a relationship.
I felt so wrong. I have been cheated on in the past, and I never wanted to be part of an affair. She tried to blame me, saying it was my fault, I should have known, and that even if I had known I still would have had sex with her because all guys are the same and only want sex.
I stopped talking to her. She's reached out a few times calling me a little fool for not wanting to be friends with her anymore.
Just Shut Up
bla talking GIF by neomagazinroyale
Giphy
She would not stop talking. Everyday, from 8 am to 11 pm, I just had a wall of texts. I didn't even answer most of the time but she didn't seem to need a partner in the conversation.
"6 Months Later..."
Went on a 2 dates, she made a big deal that night about waiting to sleep together. The next morning I get a phone call that my father passed away... little foggy for a few months after that with depression and so on. 6 months later I realized that I never called her back, but didn't matter during that time I lost my phone and all contacts. Now it's been a few years, and the funny thing is I was just thinking about that before I read this question.
Making it Weird....
My ex-girlfriend wouldn't stop texting or calling me when I told her we were done. I had tried to be nice and be friendly after we broke up but she just couldn't accept the message that we were done, so eventually I just told her that there was absolutely nothing left for us to discuss and that since she couldn't seem to leave me alone I had to block her and not respond to her in any way.
She told our mutual friends that I "ghosted her" for absolutely no reason and with no warning and a bunch of them ended up hating me, including my best friend's girlfriend who was the one who had originally introduced us. It was super awkward for a while.
Glenn Close is that you?
glenn close GIF
Giphy
She dyed her hair my fav color after one date and told my friends how much she was into me. Also started bawling to me that I was considerate enough to call and say I'd be late as her ex never did. There was too much obsession and damage done. She later showed up at my house looking for me and insisted I was home when I wasn't as she stole a pair of my shoes.
"who you are?"
Basically wouldn't ghost unless she showed a complete lack of respect for my time.
I've left from a date and ghosted because she was 45 min late, and texted asking me to wait because she was still on another date.
I also don't mess around with women who don't look like their profile picture.
This isn't a vanity thing, its about lying about something as basic as "who you are" and typically is a sign she's got self esteem issues she's trying to fix by getting a man. I never ghosted these women flat out but i made an excuse not to see them again. If they tried to guilt me into dating them, then I'd ghost.
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Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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