Local People Share Their Lesser Known Urban Legends In Their Community
[rebelmouse-image 18352215 is_animated_gif=Where we live, there are tons of urban legends. Home happens to be in a town with a history of mob murders, drug smuggling, transients, and a seven-foot-tall sasquatch thing that lives in the swamp and supposedly smells kind of like feet, kind of like intense sour cream. When one Reddit user asked:
What is a famous Urban Legend of your country or town?
We wondered, are other people's urban legends as seemingly ridiculous as this one? The answer is yes. They're also sad, funny, kind of terrifying, and really interesting. We grabbed 20 of our favorites, including one about out precious "Skunk Ape", and put them here for you guys.
Poludnica
[rebelmouse-image 18352216 is_animated_gif=Poludnica is like banshee's hotter sister that lives during the day. She's a spirit from Slavic mythology who's name can be translated to "Noon-lady". Basically she wanders on the fields during noontime and if she catches a farmer sleeping in the crops, she kills him by decapitation with a sickle. Also she kidnaps lost children and puts them in a large sack.
Virgin Graduation
[rebelmouse-image 18352217 is_animated_gif=Kiev, Ukraine.
There's a ww2 monument with an old tank near main building of one of the universities. They say when a virgin graduates from the university, the tank makes a shot. Up to this day I've never heard of it shooting once.
Monkey Hangers
[rebelmouse-image 18352218 is_animated_gif=Hartlepool, England.
During the napoleonic wars, allegedly a ship sank off the coast of my town. All of the crew supposedly died, with the exception of a monkey, who was dressed in a uniform. Having never seen a French man before, the kind people of Hartlepool held a tribunal on the beach and sentenced the poor monkey to death by hanging - for being a French spy. I went to college in Hartlepool and I was told by someone from the town that the 'monkey' was actually a little boy, and the story had been altered so people could tell it to each other without talking about kids dying.
Since then, people from my town, including myself, are nicknamed 'Monkey hangers'.
What makes it more amusing is that our local football team mascot was a monkey, and the guy in said outfit ran for mayor of the town.
He won.
Suicidal Dogs
[rebelmouse-image 18352219 is_animated_gif=Overtoun Bridge.
There's a old house to the north of my hometown in Scotland called Overtoun House, and the legend goes that walking your dog along the bridge that leads up to the house will cause it to spontaneously leap to its death from the bridge.
This is an observable thing that actually has happened at least 50 times.
People will refuse to cross the bridge, as there are also people who report feeling suddenly and unexpectedly depressed after crossing.
There's an old Scottish myth of a "Thin Place" where the afterlife and the physical world are very close together; Overtoun Bridge is said to be one of these places.
There was a documentary on this bridge on National Geographic. If i recall correctly, there is a little stream below and the running water produces some kind of sound frequency which dogs can hear but not humans.
Also, from the bridge it looks to dogs that the bottom is not far down. The treetops just look like shrubs to them, and their curiosity about the sound frequency causes them to jump to investigate it - often to their deaths. There was one case where a dog survived after jumping off. An acoustic engineer went to the bridge and confirmed no strange sounds or tones - however an animal expert went, found a load of mink living there and did a field test with dogs. 80% of them went straight for the mink smell, the bridge blocks out the dogs hearing and sight, so their sense of smell goes into overdrive - they jump off the bridge looking for the minks
The Town That Fooled The British
[rebelmouse-image 18352220 is_animated_gif=St. Michaels, Maryland. The legend is that when the British came in the war of 1812, we hung our lanterns from the trees instead of our houses and their cannonfire overshot our town entirely. The only house hit, the "Cannonball House", is a tourist destination. We are referred to as "The Town That Fooled The British", right on our sign welcoming you into the town.
Sadly, none of that happened. The house totally got hit, but we made up the bit about the lanterns to make the story cooler. We're the town that fooled the tourists.
Old Man Belfield
[rebelmouse-image 18352221 is_animated_gif=Our University campus has an old homeless man that lives on it. He is absolutely harmless, never speaks, but always gives you a smile and a nod. He gets free meals and coffee in the canteen and spends his day ambling about the campus. There are loads of origin stories, He was a professor who had a break down/ When the restaurant came under new management they refused to feed him for free, the entire student body boycotted the place and he got his dinners.
No one knows who he is, what he did or why the university lets him stroll about. Every new generation has a new story and everyone loves "old man Belfield" In the 20+ years he's been about many people have tried talking to him, he never talks back, just smiles and nods.
Replacement Drowning
[rebelmouse-image 18352222 is_animated_gif=If you see something in the water (like a lake or a river) that looks like human hair and you think it could be a dead body, you get the hell away from it. If you go check it out, you will drown. Dead bodies cannot stand upright in the water, so if it's a real dead body you'd see more than the hair.
Drowned spirits are stuck on earth and they have to get someone else to drown to 'replace' them in order to be free, so they lure people like that and drown them.
Kuldhara
[rebelmouse-image 18352224 is_animated_gif=Urban Legend of Kuldhara, India.
Kuldhara village in Rajasthan, India was abandoned overnight leaving behind an entire village of crumbling homes and buildings. Legend has it that the ruler of the region took a keen interest in the daughter of the subjugated village chief, and to escape humiliation the entire village of 1500 disappeared overnight. It is said the village chief cursed the abandoned village, in a way that anyone who tried to inhabit it would die. Even today, visiting the village is only something the brave would try and staying the night is at one's own risk.
Members of the Paranormal Society of Delhi stayed the night and reported supernatural happenings such unexplained moving shadows, footprints, noises and touching.
Calypso's Cave
[rebelmouse-image 18352226 is_animated_gif=I'm from Malta -- one of our islands, Gozo, is said to be the location of Calypso's cave in Homer's Odyssey. Gozo also hosts the world's oldest free standing structure, which is called Ggantija because it was believed to have been built by giants ("gganti" in Maltese).
The alleged cave isn't actually that impressive, even though Gozo is full of beautiful stone formations -- the most notable being the Azure Window in Dwejra, which served as the backdrop of Dany and Drogo's wedding
Purple Aki
[rebelmouse-image 18352228 is_animated_gif=Purple Aki.
This one is really strange since EVERYONE in Liverpool has heard of or has stories of meeting purple Aki. It's even weirder that he's not really a myth, he actually exists. But everyone "knows someone" who was assaulted by him at one point or other. He's basically a huge gay black dude that's obsessed with bodybuilders and the likes who once made some young men literally squat him and that's where his infamy came from. It led to him being banned from a whole town and also not allowed to visit any gyms.
He's also banned from touching, squeezing, or measuring muscles. He's also responsible for the death of a young man who ran onto a train track to get away from him. Grizzly stuff. My favorite part of the BBC article is that after he was confined to prison, he insisted on measuring the inmates muscles with a shoelace.
Relentless!
The Cult
[rebelmouse-image 18352229 is_animated_gif=In my town we have The Cult.
It's a really big house with super tall fences topped with barbed wire. There's hedges planted around it so you can't see into the property, gates with cameras and guards at the front. Armed guards walk around (or at least used to, I haven't been out there in ages) the fences and none of the neighbors mow all the way to the fence line. Supposedly vans come and go out of the place all hours of the night certain times of the year.
The place has been an urban legend here since my mom was a kid, and for the life of me I've never been able to figure out who owns the place.
Charlie No-Face
[rebelmouse-image 18352230 is_animated_gif=Raymond "Ray" Robinson (October 29, 1910 -- June 11, 1985) was a severely disfigured man whose years of nighttime walks made him into a figure of urban legend in western Pennsylvania. Robinson was so badly injured in a childhood electrical accident that he could not go out in public without fear of creating a panic, so he went for long walks at night.
Local tourists, who would drive along his road in hopes of meeting him, called him The Green Man or Charlie No-Face. They passed on tales about him to their children and grandchildren, and people raised on these tales are sometimes surprised to discover that he was a real person who was liked by his family and neighbors.
Ol' Green Eyes
[rebelmouse-image 18352231 is_animated_gif=Green eyes. I live near the Chickamauga Battlefield and there is an old story of a ghost soldier. You can ride through the battlefield at night and sometimes you'll see a pair of green eyes and that's the dead soldier. It's actually just deer.
It's a fun story that parents tell their kids so when they drive through at night, they look for green eyes and then freak out when they see them. I LOVED driving through at night trying to spot Ol' Green Eyes.
The Library
[rebelmouse-image 18352232 is_animated_gif=The library in my hometown is attached to a 200+ year old mansion that was said to be haunted. Specifically, the attic, which is huge and shadowy and tends to collect dead pigeons. The local paper even did a story about the supposed haunting, with photo 'proof'. The library did lock-in nights in the summer and they'd tell scary stories in the attic, which wasn't so bad because you were with a group.
I ended up working at the library and would have to go up in the attic, alone, at night to make sure no one stayed behind after we closed. The attic had a gated stairway with a lock, and a few times when I was up there, alone in the house, I'd hear it bang shut.
"Tabi-tabi Po"
[rebelmouse-image 18352233 is_animated_gif=Here in my country, there is a legend that if you pee in nature (i.e. bush, side of tree, mound of soil) you have to say "Tabi-tabi po" which means "Step aside please" or "Excuse me please" or else the mythical creatures residing there will curse your genitals and make you sick until you die.
Jersey Devil
[rebelmouse-image 18352234 is_animated_gif=The Jersey Devil. Mrs. Leeds had 12 children, out of frustration she cursed the 13th. When it was born it changed into a devil, flew up the chimney, and has haunted Jersey since.
I live in the middle of the Pinelands and have ALWAYS been terrified of the Jersey Devil. My dad once took us out to watch a meteor shower. We went out into the middle an areas with absolutely no lights, just scrubby pine trees all around in order to see the sky better. The second I got out of the car, you could feel something else there. I made it ten steps out of the car when I heard cracking branches in the woods not far behind me. At first I thought that it was a coyote, so I spun around.
Through the trees I saw the flash of something run away mostly upright, so definitely not a coyote. I wasn't willing to take a chance that it was my imagination, I turned around and legged it back to the car and stayed there for the remainder of the time. I still won't drive down that area at night.
No way, no how.
Fairies
[rebelmouse-image 18352235 is_animated_gif=I grew up in a small rural village in Ireland (still in Ireland, just in the city now). There's some woods up the hill across from my parents' house that has a fairy ring it. Our elderly neighbour Jim once told us that he wandered into the woods one night when he was a teenager, and wasn't able to find his way out until morning because the fairies trapped him. There's also a story of a banshee residing there, which terrified my sister.
I think every town in Ireland has a story about fairies that trap them in fields. My great grandfather claimed fairies trapped him in, had nothing to do with the fact that he was pissed as a fart, nothing at all.
Loup Garou
[rebelmouse-image 18352236 is_animated_gif=In Louisiana, we have about a hundred of these urban legends. When you combine the Creole voodoo culture with the folk-tale-loving Cajun population with the still-standing plantation homes and reminders of slavery's legacy here with the former War of 1812 / Civil War battlefields with the fact that our capital was largely built on Native American burial grounds, you're going to get a nice medley of the supernatural. The haunted plantation homes, the Civil War ghosts, the pirate ghosts, the haunted tunnels under LSU (a secret CIA base?), and Scooby Doo on Zombie Island all come to mind.
My favorite is the Loup-Garou (also called Rougarou). It's a werewolf that would prowl the swamps of south Louisiana and outside New Orleans and prey on bad kids. It would also hunt down and kill Catholics who weren't following the rules of Lent. And if you were attacked by the loup-garou, you would become one (but only at night) if you told others about it.
Skunk Ape
[rebelmouse-image 18352237 is_animated_gif=Skunk Ape. Imagine a kind of Bigfoot dude that looks more like a gorilla and lives in the Everglades of Florida and smells like sh!t. Yep.
Moonrakers
[rebelmouse-image 18352238 is_animated_gif=People from my home county of Wiltshire are sometimes referred to as "moonrakers". There's a legend stating that during the 18th century when smuggling was common in the west country, smugglers would hide barrels of French brandy in a local pond or lake, which they would fish out of the water after dark using rakes.
One night, the smugglers were caught in the act by the police and when asked what they were doing, they said that they were trying to rake in the wheel of "cheese" that was floating in the water. The "cheese" was actually the reflection of the moon in the water and assuming the smugglers were simpletons, the police went on their way, oblivious to what the smugglers were really doing.
H/T: Reddit
People Confess Dreaming Of Doing Something All Their Life Then Hating It Once They Did It
Reddit user buzzkill007 asked: 'Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?'
They say "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
You know, the notion that we shouldn't fear things we haven't tried and that getting out of our comfort zone could lead to a wealth of wonderful discoveries.
Most times, fear isn't preventing us from trying the things we've been wanting to try–whether it's a new career or a hobby. We just haven't gotten there yet.
But take note, it's not always what it seems once we get there.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor buzzkill007 asked:
"Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?"
The stress level in medical professions is not for everyone.
Helping Saving Lives
"Being an EMT"
"I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school."
"I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me."
"I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams."
"I work for a museum now lol."
– Livingroxets
The Young Widower
"I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up."
– Isgortio
The Guilt Complex
"My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it."
– Lonely-Ninja
The Thing About Empathy
"The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be awful in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering."
– Tim3-Rainbow
At first, these seemed desirable until they learned it was anything but.
Weightlessness
"I couldn't wait to 'pull g's' in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked."
– papafrog
"I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, 'I don’t feel good.' Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?"
– anon
Career As An Animator
"All my life I wanted to make cartoons."
"I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top."
"Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a certain yellow family."
"Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back."
– DreyfusBlue
Formerly Aspiring Craftsman
"Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands."
– Roadronner
It Takes A Different Breed To Lead
"Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster."
– DingbatDarrel
People who tried their hand at becoming lawyers found it to be extremely unpleasant.
Fighting For The Environment
"'I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!' F'king kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore."
–Superseriouslyguys
"Interned at an environmental nonprofit over the summer while I was in law school."
"It was the worst parts of legal work and the worst parts of nonprofit work all mashed together."
"Edit: Ok this is getting a lot more eyeballs than I expected so I feel the need to clarify that it actually was not as bad as other non-legal nonprofits I'd later work at in terms of toxicity but it was intensely difficult work with very long hours and a lot of pressure - all of which made me realize I prob wasn't cut out for law much less environmental law."
– krylonultraflat
My Name Is Not Sharon
"I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like 'oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!' Susan. Her name was Susan."
– Superseriouslyguys
The Alternative
"Fellow lawyer here."
"Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done."
"And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself."
– Pitiful-Reaction9534
Life is about taking chances.
You never know what you're capable of until you try different experiences.
And even if you don't succeed or found that whatever it is you tried wasn't for you, it's all a learning experience about how you deal in stressful or unfamiliar situations and overcome them.
The key is in finding your strengths, which you'll never find unless you put yourself out there and do the work. If it's not for you, something else will present itself.
At least that's what I'd like to think.
Everyone has a memory from their school days that always makes them laugh when it crosses their minds.
Be it someone passing gas at a very inopportune moment, an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction during a school play or sporting event, or, perhaps most of all, a spectacular prank.
Of course, while every single member of the student body likely finds these incidents and occurrences hilarious, the faculty and staff often find little to nothing funny about them.
Mainly because they often have to deal with the consequences and pandemonium caused by these dubiously hilarious events.
"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
I embarrass myself in the search for love constantly.
Or in the need to try and impress.
I can't help it.
And I know I'm not alone.
Every time I come face to face with a crush or someone that intimidates me, all of my wit, wisdom, and self-respect flies out the window. Suddenly words are just sounds that make no sense. I also laugh at the most inappropriate moments.
Trying to impress someone should be easy.
Well, maybe not easy, it can be a challenge but it shouldn't land anyone in the ER.
When did trying to gain someone's attention become a sporting event?
Thank God for Xanax.
I have found a little calm goes a long way.
A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.