Single mothers command respect, and they ought to.
Left to raise children without a spouse, these women must be financially independent, have eyes on the backs of their heads, and somehow find additional hours beyond the normal 24 hour allotment.
And that task only becomes more difficult when they have to wrap their heads around raising boys.
There are, of course challenges and anxieties unique to male and female children and teens. Without another male person around the house to empathize, single mothers have to be very resourceful and candid to get through the years-long struggles.
Perhaps gearing up for a similar situation, Redditor RocketQueen1992 asked:
"Sons of single mothers, what is something all moms need to know while raising a boy?"
Of course, puberty was discussed at length.
A Knock Makes All the Difference
"If they've hit puberty, knock before entering."
"It will save both parties some trauma and awkwardness."
It Can Wait
"Do not wake up boys in the morning and immediately ask them to get out of bed."
"It will result in a very awkward conversation neither of us wants to have. Wake us up and tell us to come do whatever you need in a few minutes."
"Research male puberty so you're prepared to give 'The Talk.' Also be prepared to teach your son how to shave because his father may not be available to do so himself. My mom was fully prepared for all this and more, she credits that to having 3 brothers and being the only girl."
"Also don't be afraid to expose him to girly things too! Every boy should also have an understanding of the female body because it helps them empathize with their female friends and family."
"Also don't be afraid to share your interests and hobbies with him too, it will only deepen your bond! One of my fondest memories of growing up was watching the Golden Girls with my mom."
"A teenage boy is going to have mood swings from I want to punch everything to I want to hump everything.. he needs outlets to deal with both."
"And both are helped with healthy doses of privacy so he can sort it out."
Still Can Be a Teacher
"Definitely inform yourself about the male body. My mother never understood it and could never teach me about myself, I had to discover everything myself, and I did, but those were some years filled with strong anxiety."
Time and Place
"Don't harass him about girls he likes or dating, it's not funny or cute to prod, it's uncomfortable as hell and not something everyone wants to really talk about"
"Not a son of a single mother but a medical student: please for the love of god teach your son to dry his penis after he leaves the shower. You have no idea how many rashes and infections are caused by that."
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Other people discussed the importance of being patient with a son's inherent position as a man in society. Sometimes, the wounds of the man who left take awhile to heal.
He's Not Him
"Even if you have a hardcore hatred of men you can't let that influence the way you raise a son."
"My Mom hated men because of whatever my father did to her. I was treated different from my sister because of that. I still love my mother but at one point after I moved out we didn't talk for years."
"My sister was bigger, stronger, and more athletic than me. Despite being younger she would bully me so badly. If I laid a finger on her my Mother punished me badly. Not only that, I was literally raised as a girl for the first 6-7 years of my life because of how much my Mom hated men."
Let Him Start Fresh
"Please.. Never put another man before your son."
"Also he is not his father, don't hold him accountable for things that his father may have done."
"I'd say for boy or girl, never, ever, compare your child to the parent that left. Every time my mom says 'Don't act like [Dead beat]' or 'Don't make that face, you look like [Dead beat].' It breaks my heart every time because I know just how much she hates him and I don't want that for anyone else."
At Least It Only Lasted Two Weeks
"Don't berate nor trash talk men with sweeping generalizations. My mom is a single mom and my dad split when I was 10 and my mom trash talked him so much that for about 2 weeks, I just about resented women until I realized how foolish and ignorant of a thing to do it was."
And others talked about the ways some single mothers try to fill the absence of a father and husband figure. The truth is, it can't be filled easily, so try to do so only makes things more strained.
It's Gotta Be Real
"Don't marry someone you don't love because you think your son needs a father-figure or for the sake of financial stability. My mom did, no one came out of it happy."
"Leave if you find yourself with more abusive men."
"It's not fair for a child to feel as though the most important person to him chooses a**holes over him. It causes lasting damage."
He Is Still a Child
"Do not expect your son to fill your missing spouses role."
"My mom would constantly act like I was some male patriarch of the house, constantly giving me extra stress like financial concerns and death plans. Gave me an unnecessary amount of stress and didnt allow me to have much of a fun childhood since I was 'playing dad' "
Not a Zero-Sum Game
"When you meet another man that you fall in love with we are still there and we still need your love and attention"
Of course, we cannot let this list make us think that all single mothers do these kinds of things. There are so many amazing mothers out there busting tail and maintaining compassion all the way through. Here's to you!
Here were some of those answers.
Soyyy Drama Free
Def The Kid Who Said "DIDNT WE HAVE HOMEWORK?!"
"Calls all mandatory meetings at 4:30 on Fridays."
This Is Just Rude
"Yeah, big oof."-Bokb3o
Not Worthy Of Accolades
"If a person makes a big deal out of doing something that they should be doing anyway."
Run Away! Run Far Far Away!
Yeah, Don't Be A Jerk To Retail Workers
"Yelling at a checkout clerk at Walmart."
"But this women kept yelling at the clerk 'I want to talk to your manager right now !!!'"
You Really Need A New Outlet, Bro
"I know a guy that radiates insecurity about his masculinity."
Needless to say, no one enjoys talking to him."-ExplosiveMel
A moment around these people is enough to want to spend a lifetime avoiding them.
Just The Worst Person Ever
Always The Victim, Never The Perpetrator
Leave It In High School Bub
I have seen many movies over the years, including some downright terrible ones. A script is important––and there are few things that can take you out of a film more than bad dialogue. I like to bring up The Dark Knight Rises. Yes, I get it: Christopher Nolan is popular and he is very technically proficient as a director (but on the other hand, I find him way too workman-like). But what is up with that dialogue? Batman speaking to Bane––"I came here to stop you!"––is painful. Thalia's death sequence is cringe-worthy. A bad script could not save Oscar-winning actress Marion Cotillard from embarrassing herself.
People told us all about the worst lines they've ever heard on film after Redditor coolghost06 asked the online community,
"What's the stupidest line of dialogue you've ever heard in a movie?"
"I AM YOUR ULTRA-NIGHTMARE!"
Shouted by a character in the low-budget 'Doom Annihilation' movie as he shoots dead a couple of demon zombie imp stuff. The line is a reference to the hardest difficulty setting in the doom games, which is called 'Ultra Nightmare' difficulty.
That line and that reference just sound very awkward in that context."
"Like, are you kidding?"
""You know, the thing about trains... It doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on."
-Tom Hanks Nightmare from the Polar Express.
Like, are you kidding? Of course, it matters where the train goes!"
That movie is so nightmarish and so soulless. Those eyes still haunt my dreams.
"Such a lazy, stupid line..."
""You just don't get it, do you?" [Proceeds to explain plot that writers presume audience was too inept to follow, that script was too poorly structured to elucidate earlier, or that direction was too convoluted to let audience visualise.]
Such a lazy, stupid line, and it happens. All. The. Time."
That is truly Lazy Screenwriting 101. Clunky exposition is a big fat "no."
"Let's kick some ice!"
Absolutely terrible pun from a terrible film.
Batman and Robin should be forgotten for the rest of time. Alas, it is a cinematic tragedy and we are still suffering for it.
"Oh God! Oh man ! Oh God! Oh man! Oh God! Oh man! Oh God! Oh man! Oh God!"
Tough Guys Don't Dance isn't worth seeing––not even for that scene.
That's what YouTube is for.
"Now, I get..."
"If we believe there is even a one percent chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty!"
Now, I get what they're trying to say with this line. I think the point is that Bruce believes that Superman is so dangerous that all possibilities have to be taken seriously and accounted for, because the stakes are so high. But the articulation of this point is absolutely awful; you don't need to treat something as an "absolute certainty" in order to take it seriously. That's just a terrible way of expressing the point and makes Batman - supposedly one of the most intelligent people in the world - sound like an idiot."
Vin Diesel then stomps..."
"That's the thing about street fights, the street always wins."
Vin Diesel then stomps his foot really hard and destroys a parking structure."
"I had such high hopes..."
""Honestly, he's kinda hot."
Man of Steel, after Superman tosses a satellite out of orbit at the end of the movie. The dialogue is such @ss.
I had such high hopes for the DC movies but the only good one they've put out has been SHAZAM!"
The fact that people willingly pay money for DC films still hurts me. I can't sit through them.
"Craziest of all..."
The line itself, delivered by the late, great Christopher Plummer in the cheap, Italian Star Wars rip-off Starcrash doesn't convey half of its full impact, which can only truly be appreciated by watching the film all the way through. Yes, it's one of the most inspiredly idiotic instances of deus ex machina you'll probably ever see, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. When this scene happens, we've only just rescued the crown prince (played by a young David Hasselhoff), and the Emperor (Plumber) has literally done nothing of use whatsoever throughout the entire film. All of this happens while the main characters are besieging the evil overlord's planet-lair, only for the overlord to skedaddle and set the planet to explode.
Craziest of all: this isn't even the climax of the movie! There's still a big, ridiculous final battle sequence before the thing finally reaches its conclusion!"
"She says it so smugly..."
"Little late to the party but for me, in Man of Steel, when Supes is fighting the woman Kryptonian in the small town and she says something like, "The fact that you possess a sense of morality and we do not gives us an evolutionary advantage and if history has taught us anything, it's that evolution always wins!"
She says it so smugly and condescendingly and everytime I hear it the biologist in me just gets so angry. That's not how any of this works! I just start angrily muttering. "If empathy was a disadvantage, then it wouldn't exist. Evolution doesn't win or lose, it just is."
There are wonderful films out there; they're beautifully realized works of art.
Then there's everything else, and the spectrum is vast.
But most films are not Tough Guys Don't Dance. I can at least admit that.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
It's been an exhaustive year of trying to find what to do in quarantine. There have been puzzles galore, Netflix show after Netflix show, and an enormous amount of podcasts listened to on neighborhood walks.
It might be time to start looking at some new hobbies. If you're running out of things to do, interested in trying something new, or just plain bored, this is going to be the list for you.
But what's out there? Well, we went to Reddit to find out what are some hobbies or interests that are actually fairly easy to get into that maybe we haven't though of yet.
Redditor The_Pieces_Fit asked:
"What are some ridiculously easy and interesting hobbies that no one knows about?"
Reddit had some excellent answers, and a lot of these aren't expensive hobbies either. Let's see which one becomes your next creative adventure.
Sea glass collecting.
"Me and my wife collect sea glass. You literally just walk on the beach and collect pretty, smooth glass. It is wonderful."
"Favourite find was probably an almost perfectly preserved bottle of Iodine from like 1920."
"My grandmother had a large collection of sea glass, I always loved playing with the pieces as a kid."
"If you get a UV light you can find uranium glass easily in the dark."
For those interested in transit mapping.
"I create fake Metro (subway) maps for fictional cities or cities that actually exist but are lacking in a mass-rail transit system. Sometimes if I'm interested enough in the particular project, I go as far as bus routes, ferry routes, and station designs."
"Have you played the videogame Mini Metro, sounds like its definitely up your alley."
"You might want to check out www.transitmap.net; it's a cool blog about mass transit map design with some really helpful tutorials and tips on the subject."
"Check Nimby Rails, that game is for you!"
The art of folding.
"Origami. The paper is cheap and at its simplest the models are so easy almost anyone can make them but if you want to challenge yourself they can get insanely complex. John Montroll's and Robert J. Lang's books are particularly good for providing a range of models from 'so easy I could fold it with my butt' to 'how the hell is it even possible to do this with a sheet of paper?' I spent so much time with their collaborative Origami Under the Sea book as a kid that my copy was literally falling apart."
"[Ryunkin origami] a incredibly complex origami dragon that's notorious in the community for being ridiculously difficult to fold. It involves a lot of tessellation (a repeated pattern) for the scales that needs meticulous attention to detail, and some stupidly difficult collapses (sometimes in origami, you can't fold certain steps one by one. rather, you need to pre-crease your paper and all the folds sort of happen simultaneously to come together in a certain way. they can be really difficult to manage)."
"I'd strongly encourage you to google 'Ryujin origami'; It'll blow your mind. Remember, what you'll see has been made from a single piece of paper, no cutting or gluing, just folding."
"This is one of the rarer models that does involve glue, but it doesn't in any way detract from how incredulous the endeavor to fold one is."
Treasure hunting in real life.
"Geocaching: a real world treasure hunt that has players finding and discovering containers placed by other players. All you need is a pen and a smartphone, and you're basically set."
"Wife and I started geocaching a couple of months ago. Wish we would have started decades ago, having a lot of fun and it takes us to places we wouldn't normally go. We're up to 42(!) found and only half a dozen dnf's. Mind you, we tried a 4.5(outa 5) difficulty yesterday and gave up after 20 minutes."
"Highly recommend to anyone but especially young families. Kids love the hunt and it's a great outdoor, binding activity. Our daughter got us started!"
"It's really just practice, takes a bit but I'd guess most people can do it to some degree, and at that point is almost like meditation."
"Yeah it's a lot of fun. Got to 7 balls at one point. You can impress people just by learning one or two tricks though."
"I am by no means a good juggler, but during covid I have learned a lot more than just the regular 3 ball cascade that I have known for years."
"In my opinion, balls are the easiest. Not just any balls, but get something with a bit more weight, that are easy to grasp and not very bouncy. (Don't learn with petanque balls, like I did. Almost broke my fingers. :D) Tennis balls are too light and too bouncy. I guess base balls, soft balls or cricket balls would work, or just get some actual juggling balls. Bean bags or hacky sacks (is that the word? Foot bag?) are good alternatives and can be made easily."
"I would not recommend scarves as some one mentioned, or balled up socks. Socks are too light and bouncy. Scarves are of course possible, but that would not translate well to juggling anything else, since they are so light and fly like scarves. ;) Starting with balls makes it easy to move on to other objects that do not spin when thrown. Juggling pins is an other matter all together."
"Also, look for Taylor tries from YouTube. She has some really good basic juggling tutorials."
Making your own chainmail.
"I make chainmail. Think of the shirts of metal rings that medieval knights used to wear."
"Modern mailling can make pretty much anything. There's also tons of different weaves that you can do. Right now, I'm making a scalemail purse for my wife, but I've also made tons of chainmail draw-string bags (dice bags), I've made pieces of art for my kids, and I've also made myself a steel vest."
"All you need to get started is some rings, and 2 pairs of pliers. If you want to start right now, head to your local hardware store, buy some 18 gauge copper wire. Wrap that wire around a circular rod, then cut it the wire so that it creates little rings. You can make copper chainmail by hand because it's so soft."
"Disc golfing doesn't get the attention it deserves. Low entry threshold with a high skill ceiling."
"Damn near free, too. Like fifteen bucks for a 3 disc starter pack, cheaper to buy used, and usually zero or five bucks to park at the course."
Hobbies that don't cost a lot and allow others to join in are a great way to spend quality time with yourself and your loved ones. We hope this helped you get away from the Netflix specials and endless timeline scrolling and into something you've never tried before.
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I'm not a kid person in general. No, I don't want to hold your babies. I'll wait until they can hold conversation until I engage them thank you.
But I don't mind children being around me, unless... they're on a plane or in a restaurant.
As a consumer, children drive me crazy, especially with parents who seem to be oblivious to their child's insanity. And don't get me started about my days in restaurant services. The things I have seen with families.
I support a ban. There are plenty of places for all of us to dine.
Redditor u/woodsexy wanted everyone to share our thoughts on kids and dining... yeah or nay... by aksing:
What is your opinion of restaurants that ban children?
Some spaces are just meant for humans who are old enough to be there. I get that families need to get out, especially parents, but there are already plenty of places to go. Let's discuss...
Adult TimeDriving Billie Eilish GIF by Apple MusicGiphy
"Adults should be able to go out and enjoy a quiet dinner. There are plenty of family restaurants that allow children... should be nothing wrong with having a few for adults."
A Disney No
"Where can I find such a restaurant?"
"As a parent I'm ok with it. You've got family restaurants, casual restaurants, smart restaurants that ban people in trainers, fast food restaurants, fine dining restaurants, seafood restaurants, steak restaurants, nose to tail restaurants, vegetarian and vegan restaurants, home-cooking style restaurant, hip and trendy restaurants, any number of restaurants that cater to a single cuisine. Different people want, and like, different things so if a restaurant wants to be adult only then I don't really care."
A Police State
"I'm the oldest of five kids. I remember numerous occasions when waitstaff would say things like "Wow, your children are so well-behaved!" because we weren't throwing fits. The thing is, we were self-policing. If one kid threw a fit, then everyone had to leave, and we knew it. So I think each sibling acted up once or twice in public, and then the rest of us made said sibling's life a living hell, so it wasn't repeated."
Taking Liberties...United We Dream Statue Of Liberty GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy
"It's their right. Kids can be real nuisance. Bars that ban kids are the absolute best though."
So much truth here. Private businesses have every right to say who may or may not come in. And there are other people in world beside your family unit. Continue...
Family is CoveredHungry Cat GIF by GarfieldGiphy
"There's already enough family restaurants everywhere you look, if you're looking to take a date out for a romantic evening you don't exactly want kids hanging around. If it's a high class sort of establishment that's sort of a given, let me enjoy my overpriced alcohol in peace."
"I usually don't mind kids at restaurants, but I think there should be more that are child free. Most of the time they're okay, but it's really annoying when you're trying to have a nice dinner and conversation and some kids are running around/screaming and the parents just sit there and ignore them."
"I'll ignore it for awhile, because sometimes kids just act a fool, but if it gets to the point it becomes ridiculous or if they start to play around my table/invade my space, I'm going to ask for a different table without caring whether the parents overhear me say it's because of their poorly behaved kids."
No Tolerating Allowed
"Strongly agree. During all my uni life I've worked in several type of restaurants, from silver service ones to right out fast foods. Some restaurants are simply put not child friendly, as often children can be a problem for the custumers (they can ruin your experience) and for the staff (especially when they're poorly managed by their parents). Additionally (it's not an absolute but it does happen) some parents tend to second the poor behavior of their kids."
"I had a case of kids jumping around the sits in the waiting area of the restaurant, shouting, while the restaurant was quite busy. When I asked politely to the parents if they could recall their kids their answer was "but this is an Italian restaurants, you should tolerate those things. No Karen, we shouldn't."
"I'm cool with it. If I go to a family restaurant, I expect families, some with loud kids. If I go to a bar, I expect adults, some of whom will be drunk. If I got to a quiet, fancy restaurant, I expect other quiet, respectful diners. A family restaurant won't allow drunks. A bar won't allow kids. A quiet restaurant should be able to ban noisy, misbehaving guests."
My Timerestaurant GIFGiphy
"Most of my working life was spent dealing with other people's children, and most places I go people are there with their children. It's nice to have a place outside my home where I can leave them behind, and enjoy myself."
There has to be a way for all of us to dine out. Let's look at it less like a ban and liken it to an age limit. It's about establishing who can and cannot enter for the right reasons. Mangia everyone!