Sure there are plenty of things in life that are cool and sexy. We can't help but b e drawn to certain things that we think are hip or will make us look better in the eyes of the world. Sometimes it's okay to indulge in what's trendy but we really need to take a step back and look at the things and the people we are putting on a pedestal. More often than not we're caught up in the fantasy and the real life effect is toxic.
Redditor u/uh_vika wanted everyone to get smart about a few things in life by asking.... What is something people need to stop romanticizing?
Practice Makes Perfect....
Giphy
First time sex. sometimes it doesn't go well, and that is ok. deathiswaitingforme
This is true. For some people it doesn't. For me it did so much I had to stop, which led to him saying we were "basically still virgins" later and making me realize I made a very poor choice for my first. People need to understand that the first time can be like sitting on a knife or completely fine, or anywhere in between. littlekellilee
Hit Snooze....
Lack of sleep. hydrofeuille
Yeah. The aviation industry and Air Forces around the world mandate crew rest time because people were dying from accidents caused at least partly by lack of sleep, but some people make it a point of pride to drive an unsafe amount of hours without rest. judgingyouquietly
Disease is NOT funny....
Bipolar Disorder is not chic. ogrefoot87
This this this this this. Having out of control emotions, both good and bad, is torturous. You know they're not realistic but you can't help it. Feeling empty and hopeless isn't glamorous. Being manic and hyperactive isn't fun. It's draining. It's awful, and the havoc makes the people around you miserable too.
Not. Fun. lunayoshi
You're just plain annoying.....
Being OCD... there's a difference between being "neat and particular and a clean freak," and having crippling/unwanted thoughts, behaviors and actions. In one case you're just extremely anal. The other, more serious case, you have a genuine mental health diagnosis. ericasin
How much for the divorce?
Giphy
Ridiculously expensive weddings. Average cost of a wedding in my state is around $60,000. A lot of people take out loans and debt for one day of living way outside their means. jonny970
Working to Death!
Living those "overly stressed lifestyles." Especially in college. Congratulations on your pulling the sixth full-nighter to cram even more for your finals, but I'd rather get a decent night's sleep and study with a clear brain. to_the_tenth_power
It's not Love!
Abusive relationships. If you're constantly arguing about anything and everything, calling each other names, causing drama for the sake of it, or guilt tripping each other to do what you want then you're not good together. Both or only one of you doing this is not okay and not cute. It's abuse.
Also, mental illness and faking it for attention. Cyanide_Kitty_101
Not so Sexy afterall...
Falling in love with a bad boy and hoping he'll change his ways for you. arttyfidas
It's the equivalent of every guy who thinks he can make some totally uninterested woman fall in love with him. DConstructed
Not a love connection...
Giphy
Serial Killers. It's important to educate people about them, but the people who talk about wanting to f**k them online are crazy. pimpmywalrus
NC-17
Child beauty pageants. Wrong_Answer_Willie
Children dressing up like adults, in general.
Back in 2015, there was a 10 year old girl who was dressed up in sleek dresses and heavy makeup with lots of mascara, and was posed very sexually for Vogue magazine. She had her hair up, wore stiletto heels, and lots of flashy diamond jewelry. If you look it up, she looks like a 20-something year old woman.
And now there's those two 11 year old boys doing drag, one of them stripping in bars and in parades, and posing with convicted felons. The other one did a photo shoot posing nude with an adult queen. It disturbs me that everyone pretends these literal children are adults. They're not adults. JackEaston
Out of Tune.
Drug abuse as a way to deal with mental health in rap. 7evin7
As an alcoholic alcoholism 100% should not be romanticized. That said, full blown insomnia is absolutely hellish and I do sympathize with those so desperate to get some kind of sleep, even the alcohol induced shitty kind, that they turn to drink. superfurrykylos
Memories....
Giphy
I've learnt that Nostalgia is toxic. You only remember the good parts. You forget why you chose to get out. amitnagpal1985
Is there an antonym for nostalgia? Not for being positive about the future, but for only remembering bad stuff? UnculturedLout
Objection!
Don't romanticize toxic relationships. Or relationships of any kind that don't benefit either of the parties. Both people in a relationship need to be comfortable and happy with one another— otherwise it's a s**t show. Shyn_exe
Just Sad.
Depression and suicide. Its not charming, its not poetic. It sucks and is not cool. Danni_dude23
There is this secret on "post secret" where a teacher wrote a poem that starts with "f**k the poets of the past, my friend. There are no beautiful suicides. Just cold corpses with crap in their pants and the end of all gifts." These lines need to be read by anyone who thinks Suicide is in any way a cool thing or a glamorous thing. BetsyZZZ
Be Alone.
Being overly busy/committing to everything someone asks for.
People who have things/activities every night and weekend stress me out.
Be at peace, just learn to be at peace. hisspaceprincess
Rocky is not a life goal.
Fighting... it's not cool getting almost killed and left with several inner bleedings. JonathanTheZero
This. Everyone acts like a concussion is a normal thing, and shouldn't be taken seriously. My best friend hit her head a week ago. When she woke up, she asked who I was. I'm not sure she'll ever get her memories back fully, and her teachers don't seem to believe her, because it's "just" a concussion. myriidabit
You're Mine!
Possessive behavior.
No, it's not cute when your SO gets jealous because of everyone that looks at you; it's fricking sick. I mean, honestly, if you don't trust me enough to know I would not cheat on you we should see other people. goldfishhate
Stay Calm.
Anxiety. I'm sure someone else has already said this but it can be said again. People on the internet seem to think it's some kind of "trend" to have anxiety and panic attacks and they throw terms around like it's nothing. Anxiety isn't a joke and it isn't something people should claim to have without any reason other than that they feel stressed out. (Also, I totally understand that there are plenty of people on the internet who really do have anxiety, but I've seen my fair share of people who are very clearly faking it). shiinymoth
Answer the Call...
Giphy
WAR! caler733
I have seen so many advertisements for the US military lately. They all look like Call of Duty commercials. flpacsnr
Love Stinks.
Affairs. Advice37
Which form the plot of half of the romantic comedies/dramas in Hollywood it seems, but it's ok, because the protagonist's boyfriend totally wasn't right for her, and the guy that she cheated with is her true love... ugh. Eshlau
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
just kidding jk GIFGiphy"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"
Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
venezuela empty shelves GIF by euronewsGiphySilly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
Hammer Floor GIF by VPROGiphySo that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
love him one piece GIFGiphyThe miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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