Sure there are plenty of things in life that are cool and sexy. We can't help but b e drawn to certain things that we think are hip or will make us look better in the eyes of the world. Sometimes it's okay to indulge in what's trendy but we really need to take a step back and look at the things and the people we are putting on a pedestal. More often than not we're caught up in the fantasy and the real life effect is toxic.
Redditor u/uh_vika wanted everyone to get smart about a few things in life by asking.... What is something people need to stop romanticizing?
Practice Makes Perfect....
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First time sex. sometimes it doesn't go well, and that is ok. deathiswaitingforme
This is true. For some people it doesn't. For me it did so much I had to stop, which led to him saying we were "basically still virgins" later and making me realize I made a very poor choice for my first. People need to understand that the first time can be like sitting on a knife or completely fine, or anywhere in between. littlekellilee
Hit Snooze....
Lack of sleep. hydrofeuille
Yeah. The aviation industry and Air Forces around the world mandate crew rest time because people were dying from accidents caused at least partly by lack of sleep, but some people make it a point of pride to drive an unsafe amount of hours without rest. judgingyouquietly
Disease is NOT funny....
Bipolar Disorder is not chic. ogrefoot87
This this this this this. Having out of control emotions, both good and bad, is torturous. You know they're not realistic but you can't help it. Feeling empty and hopeless isn't glamorous. Being manic and hyperactive isn't fun. It's draining. It's awful, and the havoc makes the people around you miserable too.
Not. Fun. lunayoshi
You're just plain annoying.....
Being OCD... there's a difference between being "neat and particular and a clean freak," and having crippling/unwanted thoughts, behaviors and actions. In one case you're just extremely anal. The other, more serious case, you have a genuine mental health diagnosis. ericasin
How much for the divorce?
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Ridiculously expensive weddings. Average cost of a wedding in my state is around $60,000. A lot of people take out loans and debt for one day of living way outside their means. jonny970
Working to Death!
Living those "overly stressed lifestyles." Especially in college. Congratulations on your pulling the sixth full-nighter to cram even more for your finals, but I'd rather get a decent night's sleep and study with a clear brain. to_the_tenth_power
It's not Love!
Abusive relationships. If you're constantly arguing about anything and everything, calling each other names, causing drama for the sake of it, or guilt tripping each other to do what you want then you're not good together. Both or only one of you doing this is not okay and not cute. It's abuse.
Also, mental illness and faking it for attention. Cyanide_Kitty_101
Not so Sexy afterall...
Falling in love with a bad boy and hoping he'll change his ways for you. arttyfidas
It's the equivalent of every guy who thinks he can make some totally uninterested woman fall in love with him. DConstructed
Not a love connection...
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Serial Killers. It's important to educate people about them, but the people who talk about wanting to f**k them online are crazy. pimpmywalrus
NC-17
Child beauty pageants. Wrong_Answer_Willie
Children dressing up like adults, in general.
Back in 2015, there was a 10 year old girl who was dressed up in sleek dresses and heavy makeup with lots of mascara, and was posed very sexually for Vogue magazine. She had her hair up, wore stiletto heels, and lots of flashy diamond jewelry. If you look it up, she looks like a 20-something year old woman.
And now there's those two 11 year old boys doing drag, one of them stripping in bars and in parades, and posing with convicted felons. The other one did a photo shoot posing nude with an adult queen. It disturbs me that everyone pretends these literal children are adults. They're not adults. JackEaston
Out of Tune.
Drug abuse as a way to deal with mental health in rap. 7evin7
As an alcoholic alcoholism 100% should not be romanticized. That said, full blown insomnia is absolutely hellish and I do sympathize with those so desperate to get some kind of sleep, even the alcohol induced shitty kind, that they turn to drink. superfurrykylos
Memories....
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I've learnt that Nostalgia is toxic. You only remember the good parts. You forget why you chose to get out. amitnagpal1985
Is there an antonym for nostalgia? Not for being positive about the future, but for only remembering bad stuff? UnculturedLout
Objection!
Don't romanticize toxic relationships. Or relationships of any kind that don't benefit either of the parties. Both people in a relationship need to be comfortable and happy with one another— otherwise it's a s**t show. Shyn_exe
Just Sad.
Depression and suicide. Its not charming, its not poetic. It sucks and is not cool. Danni_dude23
There is this secret on "post secret" where a teacher wrote a poem that starts with "f**k the poets of the past, my friend. There are no beautiful suicides. Just cold corpses with crap in their pants and the end of all gifts." These lines need to be read by anyone who thinks Suicide is in any way a cool thing or a glamorous thing. BetsyZZZ
Be Alone.
Being overly busy/committing to everything someone asks for.
People who have things/activities every night and weekend stress me out.
Be at peace, just learn to be at peace. hisspaceprincess
Rocky is not a life goal.
Fighting... it's not cool getting almost killed and left with several inner bleedings. JonathanTheZero
This. Everyone acts like a concussion is a normal thing, and shouldn't be taken seriously. My best friend hit her head a week ago. When she woke up, she asked who I was. I'm not sure she'll ever get her memories back fully, and her teachers don't seem to believe her, because it's "just" a concussion. myriidabit
You're Mine!
Possessive behavior.
No, it's not cute when your SO gets jealous because of everyone that looks at you; it's fricking sick. I mean, honestly, if you don't trust me enough to know I would not cheat on you we should see other people. goldfishhate
Stay Calm.
Anxiety. I'm sure someone else has already said this but it can be said again. People on the internet seem to think it's some kind of "trend" to have anxiety and panic attacks and they throw terms around like it's nothing. Anxiety isn't a joke and it isn't something people should claim to have without any reason other than that they feel stressed out. (Also, I totally understand that there are plenty of people on the internet who really do have anxiety, but I've seen my fair share of people who are very clearly faking it). shiinymoth
Answer the Call...
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WAR! caler733
I have seen so many advertisements for the US military lately. They all look like Call of Duty commercials. flpacsnr
Love Stinks.
Affairs. Advice37
Which form the plot of half of the romantic comedies/dramas in Hollywood it seems, but it's ok, because the protagonist's boyfriend totally wasn't right for her, and the guy that she cheated with is her true love... ugh. Eshlau
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
Deep Despair
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
The Illness
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
Unrequited Love
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
Deception
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
– MURKOMEN
Heartbreaker
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
Ungrateful
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Big
martin scorsese casino GIFGiphy"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
Fake Care
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"
New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copies
mail GIF by RabbidsGiphy"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
Followers
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"connection"
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
Thieves
Joseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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