"You are not the father" isn't just a notorious quote from scandalous day time television.
A lack of relation between baby and dad can be visually obvious, and unwitting medical professionals are sometimes caught in the middle of family disputes regarding who a newborn's biological father is.
Redditor u/user_7061 got doctors and nurses to share some paternity scandals when they asked:
"Have you ever witnessed a couple have a child that was obviously not the fathers? What happened?"
Yeah, fun times...
"I worked the L&D floor of a big hospital although not as medical professional. We had two dads come to blows when the mom was there in labor. She had no idea which was the dad and wouldn't till she pushed that kid out. One 'dad' was white (with red hair - REALLY white), one was Nigerian. Neither knew about the other till they both came rushing into the area to be with their baby momma. Fun times."
Colliemom4
People can be awful...
"This very white couple came in with obvious relationship tensions and long story short the baby came out somewhat darker than white if you get me. Well the couple not having the means to support a child yet put the baby up for adoption and very quickly got a response. The next day a couple flew 9 hours to get their baby. They arrived and somehow missed the memo that this baby was black and were absolutely furious when they saw it. They refused it and then flew back home. Later on another couple adopted the baby."
D_Shwimm
Glad it worked out
"Obligatory not a doctor, but my family has a story sort of like this.
My grandparents were separated and my grandma started dating another man. She got pregnant and the other guy bolted. My grandparents got back together and my uncle had my grandfather's last name. My grandparents eventually divorced and my grandfather didn't really raise any of his kids. My grandma got remarried and my grandpa stepped up and was the dad they all needed."
rant7268
Is this a soap opera?
"Small town family drama. My uncle is obviously the father to a girl from my highschool. Close family friend, he had been fighting with my aunt around the time she was conceived, she looks just like him. My cousin is a month younger than the girl. I don't know if my aunt knows, but she's a bitch so I dont think anyone cared to tell her if she was that oblivious."
be-ar_boi
It's not the nurses fault!
"My friend from nursing school used to work in L&D. She said that after one of the patients told her boyfriend he wasn't the dad, he was furious and stormed out of the room. My friend had tried to help and talk to him but he ended up punching her in the stomach. She said security was immediately on him in seconds."
cakejukebox
Oh no, not the best man...
"Not me but a family friend of mine was at the hospital when it was time for his wife ( let me repeat WIFE of just over 4 years) to have their baby. When the baby was finally delivered... Well lets just say he was not too happy. It ended up being his best man in his weddings son. It was very awkward for everyone. But for what ever reason he stayed with his wife who cheated on him and raised the son who obviously wasnt his"
wasteofpasta728
He probably came back to get stitches on his hand
"My girlfriend's mom worked in the OBGYN section of the hospital and she said two Caucasian people came in and when the baby came out he/she was Hispanic and the father freaked out and punched and shattered a decorative picture on the wall and left and never came back."
The_Big_Ugly
She'll figure it out eventually
"Yeah, the daughter is blonde and blue eyed, looks an awfully lot like the guy her mom dated right before 'dad' who is Mexican. It is clear but mom refuses to tell her. With dna testing so common I'm just waiting for the bomb to drop."
LoriTheGreat1
A multitasking papa
Giphy"A nurse at the hospital I work at said when she was in nursing school there was a guy whose wife and girlfriend were giving birth on opposite ends of the same floor of the hospital. He was going back and forth between each room during the entire process."
Jg23kc
The blood tells all
"I had delivered a baby and the bilirubin (a byproduct of blood breakdown) was high. I was explaining to the mom that it may be due to the fact that mom was O+ and baby was B+. The dad said 'but my blood type is A'... cue uncomfortable doctor. For the baby to have B type blood when the mom is O dad either needs to be B or AB, oops. The mom just said 'it's okay it's okay, we'll talk later' and I took my signal to back out of the room as fast as possible."
dr_butt_er
Infidelity led to tragedy
"A hospital where I was a Med student had a baby born with Hydrops, which is where a baby gets two bad copies of a red blood cell gene, one from each parent. Baby died shortly after birth. Parents came in for genetic counselling and testing revealed the woman's husband did not carry the alpha thalassaemia gene. The couple asked what was the chance another baby of theirs would have this condition the doctors were honest and told them 'zero percent'. They left it at that."
inityowinit
Daddy roulette
"Had a mum to be who had narrowed the options for baby daddy down to her top three. She was having a c-section and didn't understand why all three potential dads couldn't come into theatre. She then asked if we could rotate them through, and maybe she'd let the one that was there when baby came out be the 'real daddy'. Took all my professionalism to smile politely."
mnohc
The most scandalous town
Giphy"Not a Doctor, but my wife grew up in a really small town, but wasnt born there. When she got her first crush on a boy and told her best friend, the friend was like 'Did you talk to your Mom yet?'"
"Apparently, adultery was so wide spread in this area, it was common practice for girls to talk to their Mom about crushes and who the crushes parents were so they didn't end up dating their half sibling...."
tdabc123
The fall out was probably bad
"A nurse friend of mine told me about helping with a vasectomy when the Doctor saw that the patient, a married father of two children was clearly infertile and would have been all his life. Due to the man taking Valium before the local anisthetic the Dr made the guy come back for a follow up where he had to explain the mans medical condition to him. No idea what the fall out was."
patfreebird
Awkward...
"I'm a midwife. I once had a woman come to my clinic unannounced (she wasn't my patient but I'm NHS so saw her anyway) She had a man with her, she knew she was about 3 months pregnant but hadn't come for any antenatal care."
"I asked if she'd had sex the night before (she'd come in because she'd had a little bleeding) I looked at the partner as mum said yes and he said 'nothing to do with me - I'm just the baby daddy' Turns out she had a new boyfriend at home, this was just the guy she'd been with 3 months before."
"I popped her up on the table to examine her and straight away had to tell her that she was actually about 5 months along but I would arrange a scan to confirm. The dude just got up and walked out."
"Turns out there was a third guy 5 months ago."
LaSageFemme
He did some detective work
"A friend of mine had been hearing rumors that his wife was cheating on him. He refused to believe them until he found out one day that there was trait that is passed from parents to children. (I wanna say cleft chin but it's not important.) Anyways he went and got a DNA test done as he and his wife did not have the trait and it turns out it wasn't his kid, they tested their other two kids and he was only the father of the middle child The first and Third child were from two different guys."
LennyComa
A family drama unfolding in real time
"When I was a student nurse there was this one couple, mother was Asian and husband was White. The husband had a brother (African American, he's adopted from what I remember). The mother had been in labor for around 12 hours and they were very excited to see their baby."
"However, when the baby came out then came the rough part. He was a normal healthy half African American boy, around 3kg. I just looked at the baby then looked at the father and watched his face go from joy to puzzlement to horror in around 10 seconds."
"I didn't get to see much of them for the next 2 hours but I was there when the mother was brought to her room. Her husband and his brother were there as well and she was talking to them. From what I saw she was trying to console her husband and his brother was trying to hug him."itsJohnnyRain
It's so awkward for everyone
"Our NICU does not allow paternity testing to be done inpatient and some of our babies stay with us for 3-6 months depending on their gestation. We've had a few looooong and awkward waits for babies to get discharged before we could find out who the dads are. The two most recent cases were babies born at 23 and 25 week gestations both kids with 3 possible dads. None of the potential dads stayed involved in the 3+ month hospital stay waiting to find out if they're the father. It's so awkward for the staff."
kyelmo
Who do you think you're fooling?
Giphy"I worked in adoptions. A couple showed up wanting to discuss adoption. She was so obviously pregnant."
"The catcher, she and he both insisted that they had never had sex of any kind."
"I don't know what happened because they never came back."
Gutinstinct999
This genetics surprise
"My husband is a surgical technician. Years ago he helped deliver a baby via emergency c- section. The baby was black and born to two very white parents. The dad freaked out and left the hospital with the mom in tears. The doctor convinced him to get a paternity test and he did end up being the father. Genetics is weird."
alate9
Did they teach these doctors about this in Med School?
Do you have similar stories? Let us know in the comment section below.
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Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning Stages
Weekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
Witty-Surround-6541
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
fermat9996
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
Hosscatticus_Dad523
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
__eden_
Bad Behavior
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
KingGuy420
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
wisconsinking
Reasons
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
tabletopsidekick
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
PDXGalMeow
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
PDXGalMeow
Money Issues
Donald Duck Money GIFGiphy"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
BuickAssault
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
Badloss
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of Support
Happy Planning GIFGiphy"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
LeftandLeaving9006
Oh Driver
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
Bullfrog_Little
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
Hoopajoops
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
DontcallmeShirley_82
2063
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
The68Guns
Exhausting
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
LordyIHopeThereIsPie
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
cheeseburgerwaffles
Life Changes
point pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
ConcertTerrible8877
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Miss_mayonnaise
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
– catetheway
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
– Gthew
Happier Apart
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
– MoxieHasKnottyBits
No Regrets
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
– throway35885328
Having no communication is the worst part.
Silent Partner
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
– GaiaNatur77
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
– Billielolly
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
– TheRealJackReynolds
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
– spanglesandbambi
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
– kattia12
New Life
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
– MysticalMom7
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
– ro0ibos2
Ouch
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
– YourWordsMatter
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.