I pulled my first child out of her first school in Kindergarten. I kind of have a "3 strikes and you're out" policy and they hit three pretty quickly.
First, the teacher (not a volunteer, student, etc. - but the person directly responsible for educating) sent home a handwritten note asking me to "complet" and return the "packact" at my "urleest convenyance." English is her first and only language.
Next, the school sent home class pictures with "Kindergarden Class" proudly printed across the bottom. They refused to re-print with correct spelling despite several parent complaints.
The last straw was when the school used funding not to improve the building, upgrade supplies, help teachers, etc - but to install a massive sign at the front of the building. The sign was a picture of a fetus that said "I have a heartbeat at 8 weeks" on it.
The school lost a significant number of students after that stunt - mine was one of them. I'm not the only parent with "WTF" school moments.
One Reddit user asked:
and yeah ... wow.
A Working Lunchlunch GIFGiphy
Not me, but a coworker was talking about this today.
Her daughter and her schoolmates are being assigned work to do during lunch breaks. They are doing the zoom call classrooms.
She said her daughter is skipping lunch sometimes because she's working on the assignment. The girl is 9.
No Excess Running
Our elementary school (same one my wife and I went to) has a nice hill next to the playground that leads down to the outfield of a little league field. Kids for decades have been rolling down that hill during recess. Not allowed to do that anymore. Not allowed to run "excessively" during recess anymore either.
I wish I was making any of this up. Sadly it's true.
Probably school policy because parents today get upset about everything. Running too fast could lead to injuries which could lead to angry parents, which teachers and schools want to avoid.
Dont blame the school, blame over protective parents and a culture of blaming others for your misfortunes. These kinds of rules are made out of liability fears.
Lefties Don't Deserve Abuse
My mum was furious with my infant and junior school because two of the teachers would not let me write with my left hand, they forced me to write with my right hand...which was impossible. This was in the early 80s.
My mom flipped her sh*t when she came to pick me up from preschool (around 1980) and found my left arm tied behind my back. The teacher thought it perfectly acceptable to force me to use my right hand.
My mom was left handed, born in the 1950's, USA, they tied her left hand behind her back until she learned to write with her right hand.
Not as a parent, but my high school eliminated academic awards, because it was somehow unfair on the kids who did not get one. They kept athletic awards, of course.
This happened to me. It was 6 years ago, and I'm still pissed off. Both the other smart kids got awards already, so it was a shoe-in for me.
The academic award was always the biggest f*cking trophy as well. And then they just went "By the way, we aren't doing academic awards this year."
Like WHAT? They literally did *handwriting* awards, but not an academic one. ugh.
They had an art project which went really well. The kids were really proud of their work and parents were impressed. So did they let the kids take their artwork home to be admired by the family?
Hell no, they decided to put the projects in an "art show" and make parents BUY their children's work from the school as a fundraiser. Bear in mind this hadn't been the deal from the start - they just decided to hold a bunch of 8 year olds' work hostage because it was apparently surprisingly good.
Some parents objected to this on principle and demanded they shouldn't have to pay to enjoy the fruits of their child's labour. Their children's work was not included in the art show, but hung up in the office where children weren't allowed to go, and grudgingly released once all the other works were sold.
Our family had fallen on hard times and couldn't afford to pay $20 for our kids own intellectual property, so had to explain that her art wasn't going to be in the show with all her friends' to show off to their families, but would be hidden away with all the other poor kids' work.
A Forgotten Five Year Olddanny mcbride bus patrol GIF by Vice Principals Giphy
They forgot my five year old daughter on the bus the second day of kindergarten.
The daycare called (that's where the school bus dropped her off so I could pick her and her sister up together after work) to ask if she was sick because she never got off the bus. I freaked and said no, called the school, they said they didn't know where she was.
They called me back 15 min later saying she had fallen asleep on the bus and didn't get off at her stop - THE BUS HAD GONE BACK TO THE DEPOT AND PARKED.
It was august ... in Georgia.
I was 37 weeks pregnant at the time so how this didn't send me in to preterm labor I will never know. Luckily everyone ended up ok but we promptly took her out of that school.
19th Century Accuracy
I'll never forget how furious my mom was with the school one time.
In eighth grade, so middle school keep that in mind, we had a history project where everyone drew a name of a historical figure out of a hat, you did a report on them. Pretty standard. They asked all of us to dress up as the person we drew and made the costume portion 25% of our grade. Already that's super stupid, obviously putting emphasis on the completely wrong portion for an academic project. Well I drew Harriet Tubman...
I obviously do not own any 19th century clothing, and my family wasn't going to spend a bunch of time tracking some down to go spend money on that I would wear for a five minute report and never again especially since it would be a dress and I'm a dude. So I went to the theater department at school and asked if they had anything that would work, they found some dresses that looked old and I picked one, borrowed some leather boots, and wore a wig.
Not good enough. I got 0/25 points for my costume because it wasn't period accurate enough. Barely missed any marks on any other portion so I got a C purely because in the mid 2000s I did not own a 19th century dress. Plenty of other kids got docked to similar levels for similar reasons. There was an uproar from parents but nothing ever came from it because according to the principal teachers are free to grade however they wish
Bullies In My Home
My mom and I were furious about this.
I was bullied pretty hard for no other reason than being shy in first grade and the sh*t stuck.
In fifth grade 5 people waited for me on the way home from school to beat me. We reported them to the school and police. (We were also angry with the police officer who shrugged off that they said 'We will kill you.' like it was just a joke. Yes 12 year olds. But still not a joke to the kid who hears this. And my school district was a really f*cked up one.)
Our class teacher wanted to suspend them and wrote something like "the parent-teacher-conference has decided to suspend them for 3 days". She got told that she should have written "propose" cause the conference does not decide.
The ONLY thing the school made happen is: They forced me to invite them to my house to make friends with them and lay off our differences.
So, instead of my bullies who beat me bloody getting sanctioned, I was forced by my school to invite them to my private home. Feels like I was punished. Despite all my moms efforts of talking with the school and that woman is a f*cking dragon.
My friend had to do a similar thing, but her mother wasn't having it. She went to our headteacher and said if that kid steps foot in her house he probably won't leave. It seemed to shut the school up.
For fathers day the kindergarten had donuts and tea with the dad's if they came in, most of them did.
The kids that didn't have dads (or dads that did not show up) were told they had to act as waiters and take the orders of the kids and dads who showed up.
Oddly enough nobody really said anything. Most of the kids didn't seem to notice how f*cked it was, even the ones serving
As a teacher, this is the first to make my blood boil. I always make arrangements for kids on Mother's Day and Father's Day who don't have that parent for whatever reason. I've had kids with two moms or dads, a dead parent, or a parent who was a deadbeat and left the mom with her two sons.
A Highly Visible And Distinct Blood Stain
Several years ago my daughter was an 8th grade cheerleader and they were required to wear their uniforms to school on game days whether home game or away game. They traveled to away games directly from school and did not come home first.
Imagine my surprise when I showed up at the away football game at 6pm that evening to find my daughter cheerleading on the sidelines in her uniform with a highly visible and distinct blood stain on her skirt. She had an accident very typical for middle-school girls and had asked the office to call me for a change of clothes --- they did not allow her to call me and she'd been told that she had to wear her uniform and she didn't have a cell phone to call me with (they weren't allowed at school in those days).
The school made no effort to contact me so that I could give her a change of clothes for a class while I washed and dried her skirt ... nor did a teacher dig into the uniform closet to pull out a spare skirt for her to change in to. She was subjected to a level of humiliation that I can only imagine but she showed a brave face and refused to let it break her.
She marched in band for her freshmen through senior years and was not interested in cheerleading after that year. They lost her trust and my respect, and I've been pissed off at that school secretary, principal, and cheerleading coach ever since .... I would have thought that at least one teacher would have intervened.
My public school system sent out an email to all parents who had kids in school in recent years that asked what religion everyone was, what everybody's income was and other nicely illegal things for a school to ask. Because that's a good idea.
No, seriously all the questions asked were illegal for them to demand (and demand they did) answers to.
Better yet they made it all one email with all the parents of the district cc'd so this would have been information given to all of the other families too. They were actually offended when they were ripped into for their actions.
There were certainly other "you can't be serious" moments in that school system but certainly that was the crown jewel.
Merry Christmasscared merry christmas GIFGiphy
When I enrolled my daughter in 2nd grade, I meticulously filled out a form in triplicate, stating that she is severely allergic to pine. One copy went to the nurse, one to the school files and the last to her teacher.
So imagine my surprise when in December, she got off the school bus, with red, running eyes, puffy face, wheezing, with a stuffy nose and her throat swollen badly enough that she could barely speak.
She refused to say what was wrong in the emergency room until I finally told her "I KNOW you were around pine. What happened?"
Her teacher decided the class was going to make Christmas tree ornaments out of pine cones and pine twigs and told them to keep it a secret because it was a gift for their parents. My daughter didn't want to spoil the secret.
I went to the school the next morning and raised hell. Not ONLY did they knowingly expose my daughter to an allergen that could have killed her, they didn't call me OR send her to the nurse when she reacted.
And to put the icing on the cake, we don't even CELEBRATE Christmas!
She was on medication for a week and the teacher let her make me a card instead. I went to the school board demanding more attention be paid to students medical files, and they updated their policy the next semester.
Can't Say "It"
When I was in high school, my English teacher decided she hated the word "it." She decided that we students were no longer allowed to use the word "it" in our writing, even as part of a direct quote.
She would dock ten points for every use of the word "it" and she wouldn't stop at zero.
It Made The Pastor Mad
A social-emotional learning program here got banned because there was a lesson that was about busting gender stereotypes and included the example that boys can play with dolls.
It made a pastor mad and he brought it to the school board.
They Hid The "Worst" Pupils
This will be lost among all the top posts but when she was younger my daughter was having a hard time at school due to her mother leaving home. As such they place her in the ''special'' class. Basically a dumping ground for ''trouble makers'' and special need children. One day all the parents of children in this class were told not to bring their children in on a particular day, as the teachers will be unavailable that day.
Imagine the surprise when we found out after, that this was the day Ofsted [Government School Inspectors] visited and gave the school a outstanding [best] rating.
They literally hid their worse pupils from inspection.
I moved my daughter to a different school soon after and she got proper help for her issues.
The Guidance Counselor Refused To Do Their Job
The guidance counselor who was in charge of making class schedules wouldn't give my middle daughter a math class so she could graduate. Daughter had qualified for a full Gates Grant. Fought with the school for eighteen months. With the principal, vice principal, guidance counselor, superintendent, and school board. My daughter did not graduate.
Fast forward eight years. Same counselor refused to fill out the form the NCAA requires for students to receive athletic scholarships. Here's how this works: student finishes all NCAA requirements and is then given access to a form to give counselor.
From February to the end of May, daughter prints form five times explaining to counselor each time what it's for. Same routine. No one in the school district will force him to do his job. Finally her coach goes to his office and literally stands over his shoulder to make him do his job.
She gets her scholarship, but misses out on all the full ride ones because those colleges wouldn't wait. Two years later the new counselor finds two more offer letters in his desk that my daughter never even saw.
Why did these two things happen?
Poor students in our district are throw-aways. You're poor? You're not going anywhere. Even if the reason you're not going anywhere is their refusal to do their jobs.
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The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.