People Share The Absolute Worst Reasons To Have A Baby
Reddit user callmevicious asked: 'What is the worst reason to have a baby? Why?'
Chances are you've heard phrases like "our little miracle" or "bundle of joy" or something in a similar vein.
Those phrases are usually used to refer to babies.
When someone really wants a baby, and has the financial means, emotional support, and maturity to raise said baby, then they should definitely have one. Bringing a life into this world, or taking care of a life that has no one else to care for them, is wonderful.
However, wanting (and being able to support and take care of) a baby is the only good reason to have one.
Not because you think it's what you're supposed to do, or you want to make your parents happy by giving them a grandchild, or because you think it'll keep your marriage together, or any number of other reasons people will give you.
Chances are you've probably also heard the saying "Every child deserves parents, but not all parents deserve children."
That can be very true if you have a child for any other reason than truly wanting one.
Redditors know this all too well and are ready to share what they think are the absolute worst reasons to have a baby.
It all started when Redditor callmevicious asked:
"What is the worst reason to have a baby? Why?"
Heal Me
"My dad had an incredibly f**ked up and traumatizing childhood. instead of dealing with his subsequent mental illnesses a person at his church told him to "have lots of kids, it will heal your trauma." so he had six and we ended up homeless at certain points and traumatized ourselves. idiot"
– No-Tailor5120
"To distract yourself from a traumatic experience (robbed at gun point)."
"A long time back, a coworker told me this after our conversation about what happened. She said it'd distract me .. then she said I was selfish for telling her that was a horrible idea."
– MissedPlacedSpoon
"A lot of people use children as a lackluster attempt at avoiding therapy, which is actually exactly when you shouldn't be having a child surprisingly enough. You want to bring a child into the world under the idea that you'll give them the best you can so they can be happy, not the other way around."
– GreasyPeter
Exposure
"To use it as a content on social media."
– Human-Independent999
"This is my baby, Beigeleigh! She's my favorite now that Roxynn is 2 and throws tantrums that don't fit my ✨aesthetic✨."
– CovfefeBoss
"Honestly though this happens."
"The one thing that comes to mind is a couple adopting a young kid from Indonesia (I think). They were well into the process when the adoption agency found them and saw that they had a social media presence where they gave updates to their followers on the process. The agency told them that they have a policy where within a year of adoption, the adopters are not permitted to post the child on social media or make any specific comments regarding the child."
"Instead of being reasonable people, they simply canceled the adoption process entirely. It truly is borderline evil, especially since they just wanted an adopted kid for clout and couldn’t wait a year."
– Ori_the_SG
Under Pressure
"Your parent(s) wanted grandkids."
– ninjamullet
"Ugh, my family would tell me that they'd pay for everything if I had a kid (money was my main reason I was waiting when I was younger)."
"I eventually had a kid and they haven't given me a f**king penny. Bunch of liars. My wife and I will jokingly bring it up when we see them. They always get embarrassed and change the subject."
– lovepig1337
"My mother: "I want grandkids!""
"Me: "you have 2 other children to ask""
– t0m0hawk
Scoring Points
"To compete with someone."
– Mobile_Prune_3207
"You get +5 Jesus points for every kid after the fourth one."
– unlockdestiny
"What prizes can you get with those points?"
– NoRJoke
"To save the relationship."
"It never works, it just drags an innocent baby into a miserable situation."
– eviehalboro
"This is more common than people think."
"I have to wonder if anyone, anywhere, EVER has actually improved a relationship by having a child."
"I'm sure some have managed to extend the life of a troubled relationship by adding a baby to the mix. But improving the relationship? Making it a relationship worth staying in?"
"I don't see that happening."
– callmevicious
If Everyone Else Jumped Off A Bridge...
"Because everyone else has one."
– justregularoleme
"This seems like the main reason for the people I know."
– emmiepemmie
Existing For Someone Else's Benefit
"To have an organ donor for later?"
– Fenfirae
"Unfortunately there are people out there with children with terminal illnesses that will purposely have more babies to see if they are donor matches for kidneys and bone marrow. I personally think it’s abuse."
– sunshinedaisies9-34
"Saviour Siblings! Like in My Sisters Keeper. Horrible indeed."
– p0tatoontherun
If At First, You Don't Succeed...
"Having a kid for a specific gender"
– Independent-Blood-10
"Seen a lot of this, like the TikTok trend "Our parents wanted a boy so we are 6 girls and no boy yet" Like wtf are you going to keep breeding until you hit it? Sounds like there will be a favorite kid in that family."
– Drkz98
Caregivers
"To be responsible for their disabled sibling in the future (yes, i had a friend tell me she wanted another child so that her disabled son would have someone when/if she passed away)."
– Natti07
"This is why my parents kept me. My parents tried to pressure me into not joining the military or flight school because who's gonna take care of my brother if something happens to me? My dad has said multiple times since I was like 5 or 6 that I'm gonna have to take care of him when they die. I love my brother, but I want my own life too..."
– idc_anymore-fml
Live Vicariously
"Using them to fulfill your childhood dreams (Forcing them to be into sports when you weren't, etc)."
– Joetueant
"This was my dad. I'll never forget going to my little brother's gender reveal sonogram and my dad said, "I'll finally have my football star!" My brother is 19 and has always been a nerd. My sister was the most athletic of all of us and she purposely injured herself in high school so he couldn't force her to be in sports anymore."
– T8795
"Pageant moms have all joined the chat."
– Stellathewizard
Awww, Adorable!
"Because you find them cute. They aren’t a pet."
– k-Musician8345
Alternate History
"To fix your relationship/marriage"
– GoodAlicia
"Well, it would have helped Henry the VIII."
– lekanly
"I think you have to specify a son in this situation, but yeah. Imagine if Catherine of Aragon had a son or two. Henry might just be a blip on the radar of English monarchs without all the fuss and bother of 6 wives, etc. But then we wouldn't have had Elizabeth I and that makes me a little sad."
– reduff
"Yeah he probably wouldn't have needed to create the church of England either"
– ThanksverymuchHutch
"Imagine an alternative history where the coin hit tails and Henry VIII got his son, suddenly Catholicism probably gets a century more to reign in England, maybe even stopping the 30 year war from ever happening."
– TheSwecurse
My head is spinning just thinking about all that!
The Tell-Tale Signs Someone Should Not Become A Parent
Reddit user SafetySnorkel asked: 'What are some signs you should NOT become a parent?'
Some people are not cut out to be parents. Some are adamant about not having kids.
But when life circumstances change and a baby is all of a sudden presented in front of a skeptic, there could be the possibility of a 180. Did anyone watch Waitress?
Miraculous change of heart aside, there are plenty of people who are just not at all the parenting type and are not cut out to look after the life of an infant to see it through to becoming an adult.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor SafetySnorkel asked:
"What are some signs you should NOT become a parent?"
These are the wrong reasons for people to decided to have kids.
Feeling The Pressure
"If you're doing it just because everyone else is."
– EllsyP0
"On top of that, if your religion really pushes for it, it's okay to say no thanks. Yes, children will bring great joy and blessings into your life, but uh, I like having free time. And if I think I'll be a bad parent, then why chance it?"
– stealth57
The Wrong Backup Plan
"if you do it in the hopes of 'saving' or 'advancing' your relationship, or if you wish to 'compensate' for perceived lack of personal achievements."
– Comprehensive_Day511
It's Teamwork
"Want to exacerbate the bad things in your relationship? Put a baby in the middle of it. If you weren't getting along before, you sure as sh*t aren't going to get a long better on half as much sleep and quadruple the stress."
– SeeYouOn16
Mental and emotional well-being were mentioned as a prerequisite to parenting.
First Things First
"If you can't look after yourself first."
– whetstonereek
"This is the most important one. You will have a hard time caring for someone else if you are struggeling with life yourself."
– MyNameIsMikeAswell
No Regrets
"In my 50s and life has been a roller-coaster. One thing which can cheer me up a bit when I’m at the lows is remembering: At leadt I don’t have any kids. They would be messed up and angry and it’s likely I’d be facing charges for neglect."
– LanceFree
If your fit the following descriptions, you're definitely not a parent-person.
The Wrong Approach To Raising Kids
"You view your child as a mould in which you can shape, alter, and control, pinning all of your failed aspirations and ambitions on them and forcing them to be something they are not."
"Rather than acknowledging your role as a guide, motivator, and a pillar of support to help them discover and forge their own identity and loving them even more because of it."
– SublimeVibe
Mind Is Made Up
"Not wanting kids."
– W-S_Wannabe
"I’ll take it further:"
"If you aren’t 100% sure that you want kids, and aren’t willing to sacrifice most of your life to do so, even if they end up being special needs or difficult, then you shouldn’t have them."
– justwalkingalonghere
Thinking About A Kid's Perspective
"I tell people this all the time. You need to really want to have kids. It’s hard to be a good parent even if you want them, if you don’t want them it’s impossible. It’s not fair to the children to bring them into this world without parents that are motivated to parent them."
– Salt_peanuts
This can breed resentment once a child becomes an adult.
A Caution
"If you’re thinking of having kids so they can be your retirement plan then please. Don’t."
– Pizzawithchickensoup
"Dealing with this right now with my in-laws. Damn glad husband has a spine though, but it's sad to hear the repeating arguments over and over again."
– kindadeadly
Discussing The Future
"Point blank told my dad to pick out his own nursing home and caregiving services when he retired so we would have a plan when he starts eventually declining. 'We are your daughters, not your caretakers.'"
– acc6494
The best barometer I've had indicating that I'm not capable of being a good parent is my gut reaction to kid tantrums in public.
I often see parents being paralyzed when a child is screaming at the top of their tiny lungs and are too afraid to deescalate the distressing situation for fear of being judged by others.
If you spank them, that's abuse. If you yell at them, you're an unfit parent. If you ignore the circumstances hoping the child would calm down on its own, you don't have a backbone and are regarded as a coward.
I've heard all three judgments mumbled by others who are watching. And I would definitely commit one of my reactions to a wailing kid in a grocery store with all eyes on me.
The fact that I'm too concerned about my disciplinary response, or lack thereof, and what people will think of me instead is a good indication that I still make it all about me.
Yeah, I'm not parenting material, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
Where do babies come from?
One of life's greatest mysteries.
Or one of life's most solid truths.
But when we're young, we don't know all of the details.
But that doesn't mean there aren't questions.
Oh, the number of questions and curiosities.
Redditor DramaticChoice4 wanted to discuss the stork's journey, so they asked:
"How did you use to think babies were made?"
So Random
Im Pregnant Mama Said GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I thought it was like an illness, you just randomly come down with pregnancy once you're married."
cb1216
The Egg
"My friends and I had a pretty solid worldview on this A man down the street from us was rumored to have 1 testicle. This man also had 1 kid So, we deduced that when you want to have kids, the man fires a testicle into the woman, and that testicle acted as 'the egg.'"
"We realized that this would be painful for the man, but that it would also make it 'fair' since we figured that giving birth must be painful as well We couldn't figure out why some families had more than 2 kids, but that was a problem for another day."
sneekeemonkee
Home Invasion
"I thought they would just appear. Like they spawned somewhere in the house."
"No, they had to love each other very much and concentrate on that for it to happen. At least that’s the explanation I had given myself as a small child."
"Then I learned that women get pregnant, but in the dialect of the region around Venezia (Italy) where I grew up, it is common to say 'I’m buying a baby' when you’re pregnant. So I thought there was an actual place you went to purchase pregnancy... lol."
millennium-popsicle
Hold Me
"Through cuddling. My parents had me watch a movie about the facts of life. It showed a man and a woman cuddling on the couch in one scene, and then in the next, the narrator was talking about how an egg is fertilized. So, the implication was that this happened via cuddling."
Old_Army90
Born That Way
Music Video Mv GIF by Lady GagaGiphy"I don't know. I used to think that my parents were born as parents and I was born as a child, so for 2-3 years I thought that I wasn’t going to age and so my parents."
ChemicalAd1157
Kids. We were so innocent at one time.
Born that way. Cute thought.
Delivery
"Babies are made at a baby factory."
Kotopause
"And delivered by a giant bird. Dumbo (1941) messed me up in so many ways."
MadOrange64
Saliva
"I knew that kissing was involved. I also knew that sperm was involved after watching 'Look Who’s Talking' with my parents (I think there’s a scene showing the sperm traveling to the egg while talking to each other). So my 7-year-old brain assumed that somehow sperm was transferred through the saliva while kissing."
Djent_Reznor1
The Seed
"My mom explained to me that she and my dad helped God make me. So I imagined them traveling to heaven and picking out parts like it was a build-a-bear or something. So then I was very confused when I asked my mom what heaven was like and she said she had never been. I was like, I knew it... I'm adopted."
"I explained to my children (7, 6 & 4) when I was having our 4th last year that mommies have eggs in their bellies, and daddies have a seed. And then the daddy puts the seed in the belly, it goes into the egg and the baby starts growing. They asked how the seed gets in the belly and I told them I would tell them when they are older. I'm pretty sure they think it goes in through the belly button."
spidermom4
Good Faith
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"My parents told me that you just had to pray for one and you can be pregnant the next day."
asn-grl
"My mom's friend thought the opposite, she would pray every night not to get pregnant because she thought that she could just get preggers randomly."
HumanHuman_2003
Prayer can only do so much.
But I'm not going to get into that aspect if it all.
Being a parent isn't for everybody.
That is a life lesson well learned.
Not everybody wants to have kids.
That maybe hard to believe, but the sooner we learn, the better.
If you want kids, please have them, just be sure and ready.
It's a hard journey.
Raising my dog has been stress enough.
Maybe if some of you hear why others don't want kids, you'll appreciate yours more.
Redditor Celestialsmoothie28 wanted to discuss why many of us don't want to bring a new generation into the world, so they asked:
"People who don't want kids, why?"
I will never have kids. You're all welcome.
Who Cares?
Season 4 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Why would I want kids? Personally, I can’t think of a single compelling reason to have them. Kids deserve a parent who wants them, not someone who just tolerates them."
Worried-Medicine-664
“test out”
"Kids are a lifelong commitment to raise and care for another human, and I don’t think I’m capable of handling that. I like kids, but I don’t think I could raise one well, so I’m not going to try."
boymanpal
"Agreed. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child. For those who think 'if you never try you never know”' are just plain selfish. So you’re gonna bring a kid to this world just to 'test out' if you can be a good parent?"
"You should know yourself better than anyone beforehand, whether you can be a good parent. I certainly not gonna use a person’s life for my own amusement since I know I wouldn’t be able to give the best to the child."
pronocturnalfreak
Learn Sooner
"I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than i am. Went from changing his diapers to teaching him how to mod Minecraft."
"Left to go to college. I call him nearly every night, and we still watch anime an play video games together through discord calls."
"I already had my kid. He's called my little brother. Just wish I understood my family's financial situation sooner."
oxidezblood
Be Prepared
be prepared the lion king GIFGiphy"As a parent, I always tell people that wanting the responsibility is the most important part. My baby daddy and I separated, but we co-parent so well, people are always shocked. We work together well because we both know we planned to have a child and raise her together, despite the status of our personal relationship."
kailsbabbydaddy
The responsibility! The biggest lesson of all.
My Life... My Rules
freedom GIFGiphy"I enjoy freedom, I enjoy my relationship exactly as it is, I have a major fear of being pregnant, I like having money. Oh and I don’t like babies or kids. The reasons are endless."
Feeling_Ad_2354
Issues of a Saint
"I struggle with anxiety and anger issues and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to my child or have them have to grow up dealing with my anxieties and anger episodes. I just couldn’t do it and it wouldn’t be fair to them. Plus it’s real expensive. I’d rather have a life of peace and quiet and travel to figure myself out. To the moms: you guys are tough saints."
shoppingforthemoon
Stability Fail
"I have back and hip issues that would have made carrying a child (and then also literally carrying a child) difficult. I like my free time and expendable income. I didn't feel like I was in a stable enough place financially, wasn't with the right partner at the right time, never had baby fever."
"I look around at the world, and have no desire to bring another life into this s**t show."
wirwarennamenlos
Today's Drama
"In this economy?"
besameput0
"I'd also like to add. Into this world? Our age pyramid is upside down. Only way to fix to is either by overpopulation, or bracing for difficult times for a while until it fixes itself."
"It isn't like I dislike children, at work I love to take care of them. But I don't have the heart to bring in any more. Otherwise, if my life situation would be better, I would totally love to foster or adopt. There are so many children who don't get parents."
Valtremors
Just... WHY?!
Why Me Crying GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Why would I want one? I get that it is the social default, but in a vacuum it sounds terrible. I barely feel like I have my sh*t together, and I never feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do."
"Why would I want to give up on my free time entirely to raise a kid? Children are fine in small doses, but they are exhausting, stressful and the benefits seem minimal. I guess the biological drive skipped me."
notaninjashhhhh
Not everybody is meant to be a parent.
Know your truth.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.