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People Describe Which Items Were Sold On The Black Market In Their School

People Describe Which Items Were Sold On The Black Market In Their School
Photo by Aedrian on Unsplash

Among many other things, the high school hallway is a Wild West of sorts.

Just one stroll down that locker flanked tube of chaos gives one the sense that all the dynamics of human development are on full display.

Aside from the status-mongering and short-sighted romances there is one major variable: breaking the rules, testing limits.

That anti-establishment energy often takes the form of contraband—namely, the sale of contraband.


But contraband is in the eye of the beholder. So high school kids sell anything and everything, all proudly touting the illegality of the item as it's strongest asset.

A Reddit thread pulled together all the strangest—and smartest—high school rackets

Turtleking23578YT asked, "What was the black market in your school?"

Create Demand

"In high school there was this game/fad where people would try to stealth zip tie other people's bags to their desks, shoes together, whatever so they'd be stuck when the bell rang."

"One guy sold the heavy duty zip ties and another sold mini scissors for easy escape."

-- Ayy11

Give the People What They Want

"In my ninth grade English class, there was this kid who would bring soda and Poptarts to class and sell them. We weren't allowed to eat in class, so I had to eat my chocolate fudge Poptarts discreetly."

"Eventually, the teacher put a stop to it, but it was a good run while it lasted."

-- snarkasm_0228

Economics On Display

"Energy drinks in middle school. There were two kids who just happen to have parents who owned liquor stores in the town. One kid started taking stuff from their parent's supply, and selling it out of his backpack."

"Other kid caught wind of it and figured he should get into the game too. Honestly, the other kid finding out was the best thing for me because the market adjusted just like it should have."

"Kid 1 was selling warm monster energy drinks for $5. New kid came in and sold em for $4. Kid one came back with 3.50 and they were like kinda cold lol. Eventually they both got caught and got in trouble but I took advantage while they were around."

-- lineman77

It’s All About Branding

"I literally sold stretched-out, dried baby wipes for two quarters apiece. Baby wipes get super soft when they're dry (or at least that brand did) and my classmates were fascinated. I claimed to have sewn these mini blankets myself."

"It worked for the entirety of third grade before I got called out and canceled in fourth. /:"

-- bloodfields

A Barter Economy

"Wasn't really a black market but people would offer service for things. Not many people liked giving money so here's how it would go:"

"'Dude, can you get me a can of dip and some booze? I will come to your farm (or ranch) to work for it.'"

"'Sure. Just come and feed the cattle Saturday morning and it's yours.'"

-- Aqetor

Must Have Been Some Sandwich 

"There was a kid who gave away sandwiches for free, but the school stopped him because he was "'creating a gang culture.'" -- THACC-

"Jeeze what kind of sandwiches was he giving away." -- Redhoodgothamknight

"Obviously 'gang culture' at it's finest. Lunch ladies had pp&j with grape jelly, the kid had pp&j with strawberry jelly. Boom" -- thatmomthere

Serial Entrepreneurs

"Me and my friend had several "get rich quick" schemes that never paid of. A few that come to mind:"

"We got the idea of breeding my and his dog to get puppies and sell them. So he brought his dog over and we locked them in my room to get the deed going. After about 30 minutes we got talking and realized both our dogs where castrated, and males... So we dropped that plan."

"Second plan was when my older brother got a surround hi-fi stereo in his room (this was 1999 so that was still somewhat uncommon). Me and my buddy charged a fee for people to come and watch movies 'cinema style' at my house."

"Third: When we found a dildo in the room of my friend's mother we charged a fee for people to come and see his mom's dildo."

-- Lick_my_balloon-knot

Tiny Things

"When I was in grade school I started making mini clothes out of fleece and sewing them on my Hello Kitty sewing machine. I charged like a quarter for each outfit but it very quickly became an issue with people trying to steal my supplies and others not being able to purchase the clothes."

"It got shut down and I had to low key sell the clothes at recess."

-- caseoats

A Monopoly in Movement

"Aside from the actual illicit things like drugs and smokes, we had basically a forerunner to Uber eats."

"Seniors who were allowed to leave during lunch break and had a car would go pick up lunch some place for a fee. This was especially good if you had a free period before lunch as you could run out, grab the food and the customer had hot lunch from wherever at the start of lunch period."

-- The_Phantom_W

Paper Currency

"Funny story, back in grade school we had these 'caught being good' paper passes that teachers gave you on rare occasions. They would give them to kids and put it in a raffle at the end of the month for a gift or something."

"Me and my friends got someone to let us see it. We printed out a bunch of them and started to sell them 5 bucks a piece. Sooner or later, all the teachers and our principal got suspicious when all the bad kids started turning these passes in."

"So we decided to end our scam by it's printing out 200 passes and handing them out randomly. We passed them around to so many people that we could never be traced. It was basically hyperinflation."

"The passes were being circulated around so much that the school ended up discontinuing the reward program."

-- bigboyyerrme

"There was a kid..."

There was a kid that that ran a whole server network and put it on a USB it auto deleted school files like block sites so you could do whatever you wanted on the computers but it also auto installed Minecraft and Roblox I just made USB copy's of it at one point I had like 800 of them but the kid shut it down cause he was expelled so I just asked him if I could bye one of the old servers he said yeah I sold the USBs for 50$ a piece I also upgraded the soft ware to auto create personal accounts.

sodadude19

"The school tried to crackdown..."

I really never had a black market but there was a free student led market for undercutting the school market. the market was and still is in operation, you could find candy, programs, supplies etc.

The way it worked is that the market was always active and lets say there was a fundraiser, we would by candy or whatever product we had to sell and flood the market by offering our products at lower prices.

Me in the market, I was the guy for graphing calculator programs and if you wanted some software that's fine come to me, want my text based operating system (I actually made a custom OS with directories and stuff believe it or not), you want a custom program, 5 bucks and you will have that. That and I was the lawyer for the vendors if the teachers tried to pull any maneuvers against us, and I was a market advisor. it was really complex with our hierarchical system and with me being in the group of people who controlled things I was in there.

The teachers tried to guilt us by saying that were making the school poorer, (we were a modest school with a computer lab and stuff), and we responded with, this is a capitalist nation, eat or be eaten, etc.

The school tried to crackdown but we could in a matter of days or hours sidestep the system.

Plutonium5678

"Someone got expelled from my school..."

Someone got expelled from my school for selling ecstasy to someone, and there was a specific place at the back of the school that all the "cool kids" would go to smoke what I'm assuming was weed. Other than that people would just pay others for stupid stuff like gum and sucky sweets like gobstoppers.

pressf50

"She would sell..."

The school librarian was our class sponsor. She would sell movie theater sized candy that was, by her rules, the only snack you could eat in her library. Needless to say, she cleaned up and we actually got our deposits back and extra spending money for our Grad Nite at Disneyland.

sfn81

"People would set up incredibly dumb deals..."

Lunch time. People would set up incredibly dumb deals for small things. I just watched as I saw one kid give away half their lunch for a pack of gummies.

howlina-the-wolf

"It worked wonders, but as humans are known to do..."

One time in 3rd grade, my teachers introduced a bead system where you earned different colored beads depending on your behavior in class and your grades and scores on tests and homework. They had numerical value like red=50pts, yellow=100pts, white=500pts, I can't recall the highest or lowest values but that's generally how it went.

It worked wonders, but as humans are known to do, we somehow formed an illegal trade considering teachers kept very loose track of who had how many points or beads. We were to keep them in our bags, so it made the "black market" very easy for us to manage and maintain.

There was an unspoken rule that snitching on someone who cheated you out was grounds to shun you from said market. Remarkably, no one let the teachers know what was really happening under their noses, though I have an inkling they might have suspected foul play.

The beads were used to buy prizes at the end of the week, like school supplies, banned snacks, small toys, and other donated things. There was a bin full of the stuff.

Some students started selling their lunches for the day. Some started bartering and borrowing and taking out loans with the goody two shoes. There was a mini market for notes, homework answers, outsourcing parts of a project kids didn't want to do to those who did (I often got art requests because I was the artsy one). There was also a high market for sugary things like candy and soda, which was banned in our school. Kids would sneak them in and sell them like drugs.

I, an autistic kid and therefore the "bad student" in the eyes of our crappy teachers, resorted to thievery, among other troublemakers in our class. The "rich" kids were careless so it made stealing very easy.

But yeah. Looking back on it, I'm baffled that we, a group of children, created like. This mini underground society. That the second they introduced this money system, the first thing we did as baby humans was go "how can I exploit this?"

Humans are incredible.

giddensite

"Another was the glue book marks..."

I remember in second grade, a hot commodity were those really long & thin erasers from the book fair, but cut up in teeny tiny pieces. I remember getting some from a friend, and our student teacher spotting them in my desk & thinking I was the one doing it.

wrteq

"A few weeks later..."

I had a science class that would take up two class periods, with a break in between periods. One time, rumor was going around that someone was hiding a can of chew tobacco above a ceiling tile in the boy's restroom right outside the science classroom, and people were accessing it during the breaks between periods. A few weeks later, administration was calling a whole bunch of kids out of the classroom, most likely because of that.

wwefanboy78

"Not exactly sure..."

There was one kid that somehow (I don't know how) managed to get dozens and dozens of those little ketchup packets every single lunch. Not exactly sure what he did with them, but I kept on seeing ketchup packets being passed around in classes. I think they were turned into currency or something.

EpicNecromancer

"My best customer..."

I was known as the "art kid" in middle school and would trade my comics and drawings with other kids for snacks, homework answers or pens ( I never asked for money because our school was too strict on that). My best customer was this guy who was known for being a huge weeb, I drew hentai and stuff like that for him.

YeetusCactus

"The teachers never caught on..."

I went to the small, alternative/special education high school in my district. The students who attended were primarily those who were what adults refer to as "problem children," even though many of them were nice kids but life had dealt them the wrong cards. Most of them were in group homes or foster care, or had been in trouble with the law. Or, like me, had a learning/mental disability and couldn't be in a standard education classroom. I have high functioning autism, bipolar disorder, and BPD.

TL:DR; Sold mechanical pencils for a quarter in protest of the worn out wood pencils the teachers had kept in their classrooms for God knows how many years. Finally got busted after a year and a half and had to shut it down.

The long version:

Most of the students didn't have their own pencils to bring to school so they were stuck using crappy ancient wooden pencils the teachers had. I'm talking worn out pencils with no eraser and/or had the lead constantly breaking off. Some of them had teeth marks or had chunks of the wood missing. I truly felt for my classmates because they would get frustrated with the quality pencils and I have a strong sense of justice and I get upset when I see injustices happening. So I came up with a solution. I wanted to help others but I also wanted to make my own "fun money" since my mom couldn't afford to give me an allowance.

I convinced my mom to buy me a cheap bulk pack of standard mechanical pencils, nothing fancy but they were a major upgrade from what my classmates had been forced to use. I then turned around and sold the pencils for 25 cents each. Mostly I was paid in quarters but sometimes I'd get dimes and nickels.

I carried around an old dice bag (small enough so it wouldn't get confiscated but big enough to hold about 10-12 bucks worth of quarters) to carry my profits in and at the end of each week I'd take the coins to a coinstar machine and cash them in for bills. I didn't make a whole lot considering I only sold them for a quarter but it was enough for me to buy my own snacks and soda because people liked the ability to write without constantly getting up to sharpen the pencil and having a real eraser. Plus if they lost the pencil they bought, a replacement was only 25 cents.

The teachers never caught on because I was sneaky about it, they never knew everyone was getting their pencils from me. I started doing it the beginning of my junior year and got busted in the middle of my senior year because a jealous freshman narced on me. Had to shut the whole operation down and from then on I wasn't allowed to have more than one pencil case on me.

Sacajaweeaboo

"In third grade..."

In third grade (around 8 years old) my boyfriend would sell his own art work. He would hang a sign on his locker door that said, "The Artist Is In,", and he'd sell his art for an quarter or so each. He continued to do this until the school told him he wasn't allowed to. One of his favorite things to draw then were dinosaurs.

SlickBlueMoon

"He'd somehow gotten access..."

My brother used to sell coffee at school. He'd somehow gotten access to an otherwise sealed off locker, had a coffeemaker and electric boiler for tea in there. At first his teachers thought it was cute, but then they had to tell him to stop because there had been a drastic decrease in sells at the canteen, so he was no longer allowed to sell food or drinks... He started selling napkins (the one the school gave out for free), where you'd get a free side of a cup of coffee or tea. The school disliked this, but he'd managed to get to a sealed off locker to store the things and had secured it with a lock of his own. They had to bring in a janitor to bust it up.

KarolinaBl

"In my elementary school..."

In my elementary school they had to ban silly bands because no one could focus on anything because Bobby had the dinosaur pack that everyone wanted.

PostChalone

"Eventually shut down..."

I led the black market. I used to sell cookies and cakes that I baked and sold them for a cheaper price than the cafeteria. The cafeteria cakes were also dry and not at all good. I actually made pretty decent money and became known as "the girl who bakes" in my entire school.

Eventually shut down due to my teachers saying that it's a "safety" issue. Turns out it was because the cafeteria was losing money. That's what I call business.

SeokjminMatcha

"There was this kid..."

There was this kid in 6th grade that got this super fluffy stuffed animal and all the girls in our classes just wanted to pet it so they would rent it with homework passes kid made massive amounts doubt he needed to do any homework but he liked to do that stuff so I don't know.

fortnitename69

"I was one of those fellas..."

I was one of those fellas who could get you anything. I honestly have no dea how I got these things though. People asked and it just magically showed up in my pockets. I miss that ability.

QuebecLimaSerra

"There was an illegal buffet..."

There was an illegal buffet in the lockers of one of the 12th graders, you could buy sandwiches, drinks and things like that cheaper than in the normal school buffet. Also my class is thinking about opening a "black market" just with books when we become 12th graders, so we can give out our used books (and maybe notes) to students below our grade for money when they haven't brought their own.

___Stephany___

"One friend of mine..."

One friend of mine used to sell pirated DVDs out of his locker for like, $10.00 each.

Considering how goddamn expensive DVDs were in those days, $10.00 was a good price.

Another friend would sell you cans of soft-drinks for $2.00 each out of his locker.

DippyCat149

"That's how we graduated..."

It was a pretty nerdy school, so we traded exams (doing exams for each other) and buying finished projects from each other. That's how we graduated with everyone doing their specialty for everyone else.

Teminite2

"My operations got busted..."

Supreme stickers. I was the main supreme sticker dealer at my middle school. My operations got busted by the guidance counselor and they took my stickers.

CCK5018

"The only kid in the entire school..."

I sold games for the TI-83 graphing calculator in middle school.

The only kid in the entire school with the data cable and know-how to use it.

GalileoGalilei2012

"I still wonder..."

Someone sold huge candy bars for money which he used to get one huge candy bar. I still wonder why he didn't just have the candy bars he bought.

Pos31d0n

"He'd take your order..."

When my older brother was in high school, a kid use to sell really nice pancakes. He'd take your order the day before and you could get whatever fillings you want like candy bars. He'd get up at like 5 AM to make them all. School found out and shut him down. He also may have been baking drugs into them.

doghome107

"In middle school..."

In middle school, I managed to make around $5 a week by selling Welch's Fruit Snacks for $1 per bag. There were around 10 people that would actually bring money to school and buy them off of me. This sadly stopped when one of my customers attempted to advertise, which resulted in one of the more annoying/strict teachers shutting down my business.

3303173

"After a month..."

There was a kid in 8th grade I think who would give out bags of ketchup chips (welcome to Canada) for $2 and if you bought 5, you would get a discount on your next one

After a month, he was caught though I'm not sure what his punishment was.

crusader11223

"My friends made hundreds..."

My friends made hundreds over a year selling sodas/chips until the office heard about it and they had to stop.

TyrannusCaesar

"Especially rare were copies of games..."

This was in the mid 90s at our magnet middle school. We all had accounts on the school's VAX server, and the game was to hoard icons.

The proper way to store them was to create a folder to display each icon and arrange them into appropriate categories. Set sharing to public visibility without write access so you could show off.

We were always trawling for new users who didn't set permissions appropriately so we could steal all of their collection, deleting or defacing what remains if feeling mean.

These were the days when access to a scanner or quality images was nontrivial. We all had some second tier stash from when we stole a moment on the school's black and white scanners to load up some greyscale trash.

Nobody paid money for icons. Access was more of a social status thing. If you had lots friends willing to share you would have a good collection.

Especially rare were copies of games people had loaded on their accounts. These were more heavily policed by the admin, as they took up a lot of precious storage. Moonbase was a favorite.

Onlyasasandwich

"They had police search my locker..."

I made $1K in profit from selling candy during my senior year of high school. They had police search my locker, and the same cop questioned a friend after seeing him give me a dollar.

FYPTTK

"I don't know if this counts..."

I don't know if this counts but it was pizza. During lunch time we weren't allowed to leave school grounds but eating in the canteen was awful (typical school stuff, noodles with tomato sauce every day, long queues no dessert and so on). It stared one day when one kid of our class, who's mom owned a local pizza restaurant, offered to order at said restaurant and let his mom deliver the food to the school. Which wasn't technically forbidden. Soon enough around 15/24 kids of our class regularly ordered pizza from him (his mom); this developed into roughly 60 people from other classes ordering food, he himself always taking a 50c "delivery fee".

Man he made a lot of money.

Soon enough the restaurant had to dive multiple times to get out all the orders, and 60 kids waiting near the entrance of the school grounds wasn't really what I would call "unsuspicious,"let alone all the garbage that was produced.

Since it wasn't technically forbidden to deliver or bring food, the school council needed to change the rules, which took 2 months... they took two months to finally put a halt to this.

The dude who started it surely got some good money out of his business, let alone his mom. They didn't offer delivery regularly.

xChrismas

"And that's how the underground..."

Silly bands. They literally got banned by the administration and if you had them in school you got in trouble and got them taken away. And that's how the underground silly band selling business got started at my school. People would like trade them in the bathrooms and playground. It was intense.

swimmermags798

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.