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People Share The Best Thing They Got Away With As A Kid That They Knew Was Totally Wrong

People Share The Best Thing They Got Away With As A Kid That They Knew Was Totally Wrong
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. Many of those silly, childlike mistakes and misunderstandings are actually the workings of a tiny little mastermind.

A recent Reddit thread culled together the childhood schemers of the internet. They gathered to share their favorite heinous deeds from those blissful days when a cute smile turned a parent's scolding into laughter.

They knew exactly what they were up to, and they knew just what to do when they were on the edge of trouble: controt the face and say the precise things to maintain the facade of lollygagging and obliviousness.

coochieforbreakfast asked, "What's something you've gotten away with as a kid because 'they're young and don't know what they're doing!' when really you knew exactly what you were doing?

Early Savings Accounts

"The First 2 years of elementary school I had to take the public bus two times a week to get to my school. So my Mum gave me money for the Ticket each morning I needed it. What she didnt know, I never once bought a Ticket and kept all the money."

"Two times I got caught, but pretended I didn't even know how to buy one and they let me go, because I was so young."

-- desert3

"My parents had weird schedules so for school, my mum usually packed my lunch in the evening and my dad would give me lunch money in the morning not knowing that I already had lunch packed."

"I continued that scam for a couple of months until I had enough money to buy a Wii which is when my parents noticed that they've been tricked by a seven year old but of course they didn't think I did it on purpose."

-- CichaelMlifford

Mind Games

"I threw a water balloon during a birthday party at my friends dad that I didn't like. Made him spill his drink. I was like 5 or 6." -- CuckingMeNancy

"Now I'm picturing that guy quietly fuming, certain that it was intentional but also not ready to argue with the other adults about whether or not a five year old is being a jerk to him." -- SOdhner

Know Where Your Leverage Is

"I used to wait until my mom showed up at the babysitters to pick us up to ask for snacks. She would never give them to me throughout the day but she wouldn't say no when my mom was standing there." -- m0neal449

"Moral of the story. Bring your parents when you're negotiating with your boss for a raise." -- iwantknow8

That Confusing Thrift Store Concept

"I stole a ball from a thrift store. I said I thought it was just someone's lost ball since it was obviously not a brand new item in a store. However I fully understood the concept of a thrift store." -- shicole3

"My stepmom took my sister and I to a thrift store when we were little. I would try on shirts and shoes all day, but I wouldn't touch any pants or shorts. 'What if someone peed in them?' She accepted my stance, and no potential piss-pants were considered that day." -- Grizzly_Berry

The Victim of Another Schemer

"I was on a trampoline, and my older brother kept pushing me whenever I tried to stand up. He repeatedly did this about 7 times, he pushed me all the way to the springs, I tried to stand up again, and he pushed me off the trampoline. Because of the way he pushed me, I was falling head first, so I reached above my head to protect my head from the impact. I broke my fall with my arm, and I broke my arm with my fall."

"Compound fracture, bone pierced the skin (it popped back in immediately after stabbing my skin, so I never got to see the bone)."

"He told our parents that I was about to fall off the trampoline, and he tried to catch me but he accidentally pushed me. And my parents thought, 'he tried his best, but he's just a kid, so at least he tried to catch him.' "

-- Death_By_Pun

When Parents Discover the Intelligence Beneath the Show

"One time, I became a black market candy shop owner at school, of course my parents thought I didn't know better, but I had a whole business plan. Eventually I made $400 bucks and my parents realised that I was becoming some sort of weird hustler that knew too much financially."

"I lost the touch as I got older though."

-- u_gotta_believe101

A Well Executed Revenge Plot

"I was in pop warner (think kids from 10-13) football and I absolutely hated our assistant coach. He was the quarterback's dad and a complete asshole to me - was the center, i.e. the lineman who hikes the ball to the quarterback. Every time something went wrong it was my fault, always making me run laps, picking on me for having a squeaky voice and being overweight."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I have no idea what was wrong with this guy to be so shi**y to a kid."

"Anyway, we went to the playoffs but lost our last game to a much better team. I had seen people dump gatorade on to the coach on TV and thought - f*** it. Now is my chance."

"He was wearing a white polo with khakis and I dumped a whole jug of red kool-aid on him. I smiled and shouted 'Great season coach!' "

"He was pissed but completely shocked too. My dad ran up quietly but sternly asking 'what are you dooooooing?' and I just said that I saw people do it on TV."

"The coach laughed and shook his head. He patted me on the shoulder and said 'people really only do that when you win, but I understand how you got confused.' "

"The whole team went to dinner after that. Dude had to spend the rest of his evening in sticky pink clothes. It was the first time I ever felt like I got away with anything."

-- Bank_Gothic

Red Handed

"I don't know if this fits because I don't remember it at all, but when I was around 3 or so my sister (10 years older) kept getting blamed for eating all the ice cream, and would deny it, which made my mom mad."

"Then one day, my mom rounds the corner into the kitchen then quickly pulls back to watch little 'ole me drag a chair from the table over to the freezer, grab a spoon from the drawer, open said freezer and dive into the ice cream, finish and put the ice cream back, close the freezer, lick the spoon and put it back into the drawer, and pull the chair back over to the table."

"It was almost the perfect crime."

-- scarreddragon28


"My grandfather was always grumpy and didn't like kids."

"So as he climbed the stairs, I'd pinch him on the butt with a pair of dad's needle-nose pliers."

"He'd yell, 'Drag your @ss on outta here, ya damn lil kid!' But Mom would smile and say, 'He's just being cute.' "

-- Back2Bach

Absolutely Diabolical 

"When I was really little, a year or so into using the bathroom mostly on my own, I decided I wanted to use the potty again this time. But only the top part was there. Just the seat, no bowl to be found."

"Now I don't recall exactly what my motivation was, but I definitely remember I knew exactly what was going to happen as I decided the lack of bowl wouldn't be stopping this train and how hard it was to not to laugh and keep acting confused as my mom was patiently explaining how it worked and did I forget how to use the toilet while there was a puddle on the floor like I had made some honest mistake."

-- fafalone


"This reminds me of something i actually went through. There was a 6 year old who used to step on me and my sisters feet (we normally didn't have socks on) TWIST so that it hurt more, then when we got mad at him he would say 'iM lItTle' with a smile." -- anime_dummy

"The day a kid realises being little is an excuse is the day it stops being a valid excuse" -- other_usernames_gone

Zero Hesitation, Zero Shame

"Eating the giant chocolate egg my brother got from school, the second he went to get my mom to show it" -- Depressiekinder

"This is a gem. A memory no doubt that will bring a cheeky grin to you face for as long as you live and will stick in you brother's craw for just as long." -- almostwithyou

"I would have peed in your bed that night as payback" -- FruitPunchCult

No News is Good News

"When I was maybe like 3-4 years old, I remember going to the fridge for a snack at maybe 3 in the morning. I accidentally knocked a WHOLE carton of eggs onto the floor. I think I kind-of just.. pushed the broken eggs and stuff under the fridge with paper towel."

"All of it. It was hidden pretty well if I remember correctly. I don't remember any aftermath from the incident.. weird."

-- Narfraccoon

Cram It, Lady

"Mooning some lady on the highway when I was like 7."

"I'd just watched some funny movie where there was a mooning joke. So there I am, in the backseat of my mom's car. We're going to meet up with the rest of the family for dinner at Sizzlers and there's remnants of the rush hour traffic, lo and behold my idiot 7 year old self thinks it would be funny to moon someone in slow traffic."

"My victim followed my mom off the highway, to the Sizzler and approached her when she got out of the car 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON JUST DID?!?!' to which my mom told the lady to lighten up and told her to get lost."

-- hobowithmachete

Loose Lips

"My granddad lived with us when I was growing up and he was really a very mean spirited man and talked awful to most everyone including my sister and me."

"Once his brother who lived a few states away parked his RV in our yard for a few months and one time I overheard my granddad say he wished he'd move that ugly thing out of our yard. Well when his brother came to visit I repeated this in front of both my granddad and my great-uncle and it embarrassed my granddad so bad."

"I left the room acting like I was just being a kid who accidentally let something slip but I knew what I was doing the whole time."

-- 1000BlueButterflies

Cyber Warfare

"When my older brother and I were young teens, he kept getting yelled at for watching porn on the family PC. Our Catholic mom would check the browser history, find it, and yell at him and ground him. He insisted it wasn't him. He would then get punished for lying, because it wasn't Mom or Dad and it couldn't be the young, innocent, straight A catholic high school attending sister."

"A few years ago I fessed up that I, at the time the 14yo catholic school girl, would google porn and click links to fill up the browser history and then go on my merry way, every time my brother pissed me off. Didn't even watch it. Just googled some boobs and then moved on because I knew she checked our browser history every night because... that's just what she did."

"We did not get along as teens. He pissed me off a lot, so he got yelled at by our mom a lot for porn use."

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.