A couple wanting to take the next huge step in their relationship by walking down the aisle is a huge confirmation of their affection for each other.
Yet, a fiancé getting cold feet the day before the day of the nuptials or a runaway bride leaving the groom alone at the altar are a thing.
What is it about tying the knot that makes a couple have reservations? Could it be the high divorce rate in the country?
Maybe so, but what's the point in pursuing love if nobody is in it for the long haul?
Strangers online assured a long-lasting marriage was possible when Redditor Aelynd asked:
"Those of you who are happily married, what is your biggest piece of advice for maintaining a relationship?"
Communication is first and foremost the glue that holds a relationship intact.
Speak Up
"You can’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Ever. Just say the words out loud."
– NervousHour4129
Being Honest
"This is so important and what my husband and I are currently working on. Communicating expectations, being honest about what you care about, and understanding the other person’s capabilities really alleviates some of the friction between us."
– _somelikeithot
Just Talk
"F'KING THIS! My husband and I've been married for 14 years. Our marriage almost dissolved twice. The first time, we went to therapy and he learned to talk to me (it was like talking* to a brick wall before then). The second time was because neither of us made time to talk to each other."
"Now, we put our kid to bed, go outside and smoke a bowl, and just f'king talk. No judgements, no yelling, just honest open discussion. And our marriage has never been stronger. It's been almost 3 years since we started doing this."
"Just talk to your spouse, people."
– irrelevant_echo
Expectations
"Unmet expectations are a killer. We have tons of expectations for our SO's - sometimes we need to check them at the door."
– MzFrazzle
It's not always wine and roses, though it can be. Still, relationships take work.
Support And Encouragement
"Help your partner achieve his/her goals with love and kindness."
– Just_a_Pym_Particle
Making Conscious Choices For Love
"15 years coming up in May. Marriage is not built on romantic feelings but on loyalty, trust, communication and perseverance. Every day I make the choice to spend the rest of my life with this man."
– BananaVixen
It's Not Always Perfect
"A lot of people forget this. Romantic feelings can be hard to come by during the tough times. It is a deliberate choice to persevere. And there are always tough times, a marriage isn't broken because they happen. A relationship between two people can be a roller coaster."
"Of course don't persevere through abuse. Perseverance is never worth it without genuine care and trust."
– Mental_Vacation
Stop Fixating On Little Things
"Don't sweat the small stuff."
"They're not going to fold your underwear the way you do it but does it really matter? If you criticize every little thing they do, they're not going to want to be around you for long."
– Rewdboy05
It's easy to give in to negativity. These are simple fixes for that.
Stop The Trash Talk
"You are on the same team. Also, complaining about your spouse as a form of small talk is trashy, and you might start believing yourself after a while."
– thetrumpetingfairy
Listen More
"Know when to shut up. A lot of people say that communication is important and a couple should be able to talk to each other, but not many people mention that it's equally important to know when NOT to talk. Some things are just not helpful, they can only hurt your partner, and being honest with each other doesn't mean saying whatever comes to mind without thinking."
– june_a
Some Strong Points
"I’ll mention some things that haven’t been touched on:"
"Grace. The other person is human. They’re going to F up. You have to accept that (within reason) and understand that you also F up. Forgiveness goes hand in hand with that."
"Learn to let sh*t go. There will be epic issues for some marriages. But once you’ve put something to bed..it’s done. You don’t get to bring it up or hold it over their head or use it as a weapon."
"It’s not about you. Marriage is not for the selfish. Everyday you have to wake up and be willing to serve. I don’t mean be subservient, it shouldn’t be a power struggle. It’s about doing what’s best for your marriage and your spouse."
"You choose to love someone. You have a wedding once. You marry someone every day. You recommit yourself to them every day."
"Learn to embrace quirks. For example, my husband, everyday, without fail, will come in and take off his shoes and socks and leave his socks wherever they get taken off. It drives me batty but my God,if one day he didn’twalk through the door and yeet them off his feet…I’d be devastated. Because that means he’s gone."
"Set boundaries for self respect. Don’t put up with certain things but pick your battles. He can throw his socks wherever but I’m not his maid, either."
– TheRavenGirl13
The tips for successful relationships mentioned here are not really rocket science.
They are very simple concepts that might be more difficult to execute.
But if you think about the person you ultimately fell in love with and chose to commit yourself to–in spite of their minor flaws and idiosyncrasies–isn't that person worth fighting for?
If they are, talk it out and hug it out.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
- Children of Polygamist Parents Reveal What Their Childhoods Were ... ›
- Happily Married People Reveal The Moment They Knew They'd Pop ... ›
- Couples Who Followed Through On A 'Marriage Pact' Explain How ... ›
- Married Couples Who Sleep In Separate Rooms Explain Why They ... ›
- Married Couples Who Sleep In Separate Rooms Explain Why They ... ›
- People Who Have Been A 'Homewrecker' Break Down How It ... ›
Alright listen, we get it. Boobs are great. They're fun, they look awesome in outfits, they make for great storage if you're packing enough heat for a serious bra.
But please, stop talking to them when you mean to be talking to the person the aforementioned dope rack is attached to.
We know they're awesome. We don't need you to remind us.
Reddit user Maleficent-Ad-190 asked:
"Women of Reddit, how do you feel when someone looks at your boobs while in a conversation?"
So here's the honest truth - straight from the source.
Quick and Innocent
"A subconscious glance is okay but don't stare"
-the_memedisease
"I hate it when I accidentally do this, so it's nice to be pardoned a bit."
-HikerGeoff
"For real. I feel such a perv if a girl/woman notices my accidental glance and pulls up her shirt mid conversarion.. Like I'm sorry, okay?!"
-Vincent541
"Usually that happens because I notice an innocent glance, and then I realize I’m hanging out more than I wanna be. It’s not usually an 'Eww, gross, protect my boobs from their eyes,' move. If you’re staring too long I’ll just leave."
-StepdadLRAD
It's Involuntary
"Depends on how they do it."
"If it’s a quick glance, it’s fine. That’s normal and feels mostly involuntary on behalf of the person looking. I notice but it doesn’t bother me."
"If they stare at my boobs while other people are talking—or worse, while I’m talking—that makes me uncomfortable.
Fortunately, I’ve experienced glancing a lot more frequently than staring."
-TheDiplocrap
"The glance is definitely involuntary instinct. I had an elderly principal in junior high who still wore pretty low cut shirts and did a quick up-down shift every time, even when I didn't want to."
-mistertorchic
Reading Is Fundamental
happy t-shirt GIF by LaffGiphy"When women wear graphic t shirts with writing on their chest I’m always hesitant to read it because I don’t want to look like a jack@ss."
-Chythonic
"I can tell when someone is reading my shirt versus just staring at my boobs. I don’t mind people stopping and taking a good look at the text, I know it’s hard to read, I’ll even turn and fully face them so they can read it properly."
"I don’t mind this at all, if I’m going to slap a message on my tits I’m doing it cause I want people to read the message. No biggie! In fact asking a woman 'what does your shirt say?' is a really good way to break the ice."
"I’ve seen multiple people mention feeling uncomfortable reading name tags. It’s always okay to read name tags! They’re literally there to be read."
"I’ve seen some women put their name tags on their upper sleeve if they felt uncomfortable with drawing attention to their left tit so in that instance you’ll know a woman doesn’t want you staring at her chest."
"If you’re really uncomfortable with reading a name tag that’s okay, just introduce yourself and then ask their name."
-BurstOrange
Stains
"Well, I have tig o' bitties and dress like a mom, so I usually panic thinking that I spilled something on them."
-Dutchie420x
"This. It’s probably because I got spaghetti sauce on my boxy striped button down shirt that 5 other moms at the park are wearing."
-Caris1
"So in this case it wasn't vomit on the sweater already, but it was mom's spaghetti?"
-lexievv
Mine, Yours, Hers
"I'm a woman who routinely gets distracted by nice breasts during conversations. Sometimes even my own."
-ally_mcgee
"Oh my God...the amount of women who look at my boobs while I'm talking astounds me! Lol"
-LusciousofBorg
"Straight women are worse about it than straight men lol it’s the funniest thing"
--anidiotonreddit-
"Haha!! I like how you get distracted by your own boobs."
"Which, not gonna lie, I have definitely been distracted when I find my husband staring (he can stare! Lol) I look down my shirt to see what all the hoopla's about."
-LusciousofBorg
Please, No Eye Contact.
"I'm more comfortable with that than eye contact...."
-loulabelle20
"‘Excuse me, my boobs are down here’."
-amanset
"I'm sorry! I was just reading your face mask!' "
-DiamondPup
"Looking in my eyes is way too personal, just look at my boobs. That way everyone is more at ease"
-loulabelle20
"I also fear eye contact. I also want to be respectful."
"So like, I end up staring at a lady's face with what I assume is an exaggerated interest, while trying not to look down, which my mind keeps asking me to do. Not to ogle, just to break eye contact."
"I can't resist for long, so...I usually end up looking down, then back up with intensity, and then back down, repeat until I make an awkward exit from the conversation thinking I played it cool, but we all know that it was a train wreck."
-kingfischer48
No Harm
Bored Jane Lane GIFGiphy"Honesty, I’m used it. Unless they are gawking or being creepy about it I don’t give it a second thought."
-AKBK2013
"In the '80s and maybe '90s, they'd sometimes say sarcastically, 'Take a picture; it'll last longer!'."
"I think they stopped saying that when cell phones started all coming with decent quality built-in cameras. I'm sure a few people responded by pulling out their phone cameras… and that was probably the end of that saying."
-brndm
"This. I’m not going to hide my body in shame, and it’s not shameful to glance or gander…just don’t stare or be a creep."
"Bodies really are eye catching, and pleasing to look at sometimes, but feeling like you’re being oogled or fantasized in public is super unsettling."
"Take your dreams home bud."
-skippieelove
Eyes Are Closed!
"I am an ex hair stylist and when I would cut mens hair and would be standing in front of them cutting bangs or something of that nature I could just feel their eyes burning a hole into my chest."
"I did have one guy tell me straight up on the middle of our conversation 'I’m looking at your cleavage' and he did this weird chuckle. I had no words. He tipped well though 🤷🏼♀️🥴"
-Soggy_Physics452
"I will be honest. In that exact situation there really isn't anywhere else to look."
-Sarnick18
"I close my eyes"
-Brandon_The_Binosaur
"I generally would just close my eyes in those situations. It just seemed polite."
-Reaverx218
"As a man on the other end of this, I feel so bad when I catch myself staring off into nothingness and realize I’m staring at my barber’s cleavage. She’s so sweet and I feel bad lmao"
-sleekandskilled
Self confidence
Fan Heat GIF by T.I.Giphy"I don't care, boobs are boobs. I know they look good. It's nice to be attractive"
-IAmNotLookingatYou
"I wear stuff to show off my cleavage on purpose, I’d be slightly offended if no one looked"
-f**ktheroses
"I would go cross-eyed if I had a nice set of boobs of my very own to look at."
-Dason37
Magnets
"It depends."
"I had a boss that would glance down literally every 30 seconds. We wore baggy, ugly polo shirts that did nothing to highlight the area and yet he did it with every single female. Gross af."
"If it's a one and done, I notice but don't get offended."
-LeotiaBlood
"Some people talk like that. Sometimes when I'm speaking to someone regardless of their sex, I'm looking down at their chest, shoulder, neck, or off to the side if I need to think. When I'm listening, I'm looking at their eyes or somewhere on their face."
"Concentrating on speaking and checking out your boobs at the same time is not an easy task by the way."
-eggtart_prince
"Oh sh*t. There are so many conversations I've had where I'm trying so hard not to look at boobs and it's like I just can't make my eyes stay off them for longer than a minute."
"I always feel terrible because I desperately am trying not to look at them and give my full attention to the conversation but it's such a f-ing struggle."
-SocksofGranduer
Let's recap - glances are fine. They happen. It's natural.
In some situations you really can't help it - like if the person you're talking to is 4'9 (and three quarters) then you're probably looking down their shirt every time you try to talk to them. Or that barber situation.
But don't stare. Don't be a creep.
We totally notice.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
What are you trying to hide?
"Really thoroughly deleting your internet search history."
"Most people with computers know how to delete their browsing history and hide folders."
"Enough that people borrowing their computer wouldn't be confronted with their porn."
"Or as one adorable advertisement suggested, they could buy their wife an anniversary present without her finding out."
"But if I knew someone who could hide their search history well enough that an e-crime unit or intelligence agency could get their hands on their laptop and not access everything, I would suspect that the laptop had either horrible snuff films or terrorist stuff."- Aduro95
Hi, remember me? No?
"Remembering random details about people or recognizing them from years ago."- phrasing7
Super sleuth!
"Being able to find almost anything."
"People start being suspicious that you're hiding sh*t on purpose."
"I've found things in other people's houses that I've never even BEEN TO by describing the places to look."- Millenniauld
lego elves emily GIF by LEGOGiphyWhere did you learn to do that?
"I had a record as a kid, used to break into cars and homes into my late teens."
"As I grew older if someone locked themselves out of the house I would help them out."
"I'm a grown man work in pharmaceuticals I look like a typical nerd."
"Boss tells us on the phone he's locked out of his house and can't get a locksmith I told him if I come down there pick his lock and get him inside can I get the day off?"
"He laughs says sure."
"I got my tools in the cars takes me 15 min to get there 10 min to pick the lock."
"Got the day off."
"Fast forward a year later."
"Our lab supplies closed was locked, the key was with someone at home."
"Boss says to me can I get in the closet, I told them as long they don't judge me or ask questions."
"Now some people in the office wonder what the hell do I do in my free time." - User Delted
A necessary skill?
"Folding fitted sheets."- lovesmasher
michelle buteau adult GIF by WNYC StudiosGiphyI'm not buying it.
"Remaining calm."- Fuel_Some
Where did you come from?
"Quietly walking and minimizing your presence."
"It's fun when people realize you're there and freak out because you came out of 'nowhere' despite walking right past them."- Nuksum
Schitts Creek Omg GIF by CBCGiphyHuman Calculator
"Knowing how to quickly calculate how many grams are in x ounces."- VictorBlimpmuscle
"Procedural memory."
" I have to type in numbers occasionally at work."
"If I have to type them in more than twice, I can't recall the number but I can retype it."- wildcardcrow
The table is hot.
"Shuffling cards, stacking chips, lots of gambling related dexterity skills."- ummque
Regardless of what other people might think, having a very particular set of skills is bound to come in handy.
Ask Liam Neeson.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sturdy and steady.
"Bricklaying."
"The materials and techniques are remarkably static over the centuries."- fysicks
Eternally funny.
"Even in Rome they had 'yo mama' jokes scribbled on the walls."
"As well as stuff like 'Aranicus has a fat a**."
"Gives me some comfort to know that humans don’t change that much."- momogirl200
"People still find toilet humor and dirty jokes funny."
"We probably always will, tbh."- Demonkitty121
Captain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphyHigh Rollers.
"Dice."- Jedibri81
Timeless beauty.
"I work as a hand embroiderer in the fashion industry and often think if I was born 1000 years ago I could literally be doing the exact same job."
"Shame I need glasses though."- PrickStitch
Creepy, but practical.
"Using bone to scrape hide into leather."
"Plastics, metals and wood have been tried, but bone is still the best."- ironmcheaddesk
A Mighty Whack.
"The humble axe."
"While the axe did go through several major design shifts over the course of human history, by the time we get to 1022, we had already settled on a more or less straight shaft with a head made of iron/steel, with an opening or 'eye' that the haft goes through."
"If you walked into any big-box hardware store and bought a Collins axe and then took it back to 1022 and showed it to someone, they'd think the style was strange and they'd be astonished to find that the whole head was made of steel, but that's it."
"They'd be all, 'yeah, that's an axe'."
"'Obviously from some foreign country where everyone's rich, but it's just an axe'."- Glasnerven
Back In Time For Dinner Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphyThe best friend anyone could have
"People loving their pets."
"Look up roman pet cemetery on Google."
"The epitaph's on some of the graves really hit home."
"Also help's to humanize those in the past."- Ralife55
When you need to sit down for a moment
"I was very stoned a while back and I walked past my kitchen table and I was just marveling at the chairs."
"'Wow'."
"'1000 years ago people were sitting in chairs just like that'."
"'Here I am...still doing it'."
"'Amazing'."- DurtyKurty
A beach fixture.
"Horseshoe Crabs."
"My understand is they have been pretty much the same for a LONG time."
GiphyChange is good, there's no doubt about that.
But it can be comforting to know that with each passing year, some things will always be the same.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.