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Married Couples Who Sleep In Separate Rooms Explain Why They Came To The Agreement

There are plenty of reasons why couples might choose to have separate rooms: one or both snore, they like different mattress styles, opposite work shifts, etc...

Some folks just really like sleeping alone.

Separate rooms don't necessarily mean the relationship is on the rocks, oftentimes it's the exact opposite.

The couple have communicated and decided that separate rooms are what they need to be happy.


Redditor Dalewin asked:

"Married couples who sleep in separate rooms, why do you do this?"

Tidyness

"Several reasons. I like a clean and minimalistic bedroom, sleeping in a messy room stresses me out, my husband is messy and leaves piles of stuff. Mess and visual chaos don't bother him at all."

"He gets up a 5am, I go to bed late as I am in grad school and am often up until midnight studying."

"Also, I snore, tend to toss and turn when I sleep, and he is a light sleeper."

"After his daughter moved out I started sleeping in her room. We no longer argue about his mess or me waking him up all night long, and both get better sleep."

-I-LIKE-NAPS

Early To Rise

"My parents do this because dad gets up with the birds every morning (5am) and mum would always wake up when he did and wouldn't be able to get back to sleep."

"She says it probably saved their marriage too (although they are the strongest couple I know haha)!"

-iamnotarobot96

Night Shift

"For five years I worked nights. So when we moved to this house I took the little room upstairs. It's big enough for a twin bed and a nightstand. At least it has a closet."

"Now I'm on a schedule closer to the family's but I'm keeping my room. I go to bed before they do."

-doggscube

Open Relationships

"I snore pretty badly and am trying to get it under control."

"2nd, we are non monogamous, so we have other partners that we'd like to share our bedroom with, without having to inconvenience the other."

"So separate bedrooms work for us."

-wontonwaffles

It Depends

"Sometimes my GF and I sleep in different rooms, and the reasons often differ."

"Did I eat a big bean burrito earlier? Separate rooms. Just an example."

"Also, unless your bed is massive, sleeping with someone next to you can make it more difficult to sleep. Yes, sleeping together is romantic. But getting good sleep is more romantic."

-titanicusgardens

Illness

"My wife has MS - one of the primary issues she has is vertigo. When I'm in the bed with her, the motion of my breathing/heartbeat/movement really screws with her vertigo while she sleeps."

"Also, I snore, so an isolated coil mattress wouldn't quite do it (they aren't total isolation, either, you feel movement) or two beds in one room."

"Also, honestly, it spices up the sex life. Adds an element of pursuit and some illicit atmosphere to it, we're sneaking around the house to each other's beds to bang."

-buttery_shame_cave

Cycles

"My parents slept in separate beds as did my great grandparents. For my great grandparents it was a comfort thing. Grandma didn't like not being able to move around the bed at will. She and grandpa loved each other dearly and she passed not long after he did because she missed him so much."

"For my parents it was a couple things. As my dad aged his sleep cycle went weird. He would be able to sleep a couple hours and then be up half the night and fall asleep again about the time my mom was getting up for work."

"Also my mom has sleep apnea and uses a cpap. It made hella noise back then. Dad was half deaf and the sound still bothered him. Out of respect for each other they decided it was better to have separate bedrooms."

-Wyogirl79

Sawing Logs

"Spouse snores, two 60 pound dogs, and a queen size bed. No room for me and I need dead silence."

-nerdygnome1

Neighbors

"My step mother's parents took this to a new level."

"He built a second house next door. They lived next to each other for 20 years before they both passed in a short amount of time."

"It seemed very odd to me, but it worked for them. At least from an outside perspective. I know images never reflect reality."

-Barfhelmet

Earplugs Needed

"Girlfriend's parents do this. They both snore and do it to get away from each other's snoring."

"I didn't think it was that bad until they talked about having to sleep in the same bed during their trip in Europe. They were at each other's throats because if one fell asleep, the other couldn't."

-OverthinkingMachine

Scheduling

"My grandparents do this. My grandfather built a small apartment on the second floor of their house. They do it because they have different sleep schedules and in general they spend much of the day apart because they like it that way."

"But they always eat lunch and dinner together, and my grandfather loves to listen to her soft footsteps throughout the day. He calls her “the woman next door.” It’s really cute."

-kthrynnn

Habits

"My parents do this."

"My Mom likes to sleep with the TV on, my Dad snores and steals sheets."

"My mother claims sleeping separately saved their marriage."

-Slav_vapor

Lighting

"I have a hard time falling asleep without something to distract my brain from thinking."

"I usually watch a show/documentary or do some repetitive game on my phone to accomplish this."

"She can’t stand the lights from the screen."

-Syk018

Wind

"During the Summer I move to another room we call "the wind tunnel". Basically I have a ceiling fan going almost 24/7 and a window fan above the bed I run from 7pm-8am."

"She has allergies and easily gets runny nose and sneezes from any moving air. My body temp will skyrocket and I'll sweat like crazy in a room devoid of moving air."

"So she sleeps in a stuffy no air movement master bedroom and I sleep soundly in the Wind Tunnel."

"During the winter I move back, cause then I become the ultimate body warmer for her."

-Spiffywerks

Movement

"Lol. I do this. I am an absolute terrible person to share a bed with. I snore like a passing semi truck and apparently (I'm told) flail wildly in my sleep."

"When we first got married I kept waking up to an empty bed. She would join me for an hour until I was asleep, then retreat to the couch. After a week or two I got fed up and just went to the couch first."

"Then started several months of us trading off for the couch. Eventually I just went and bought a twin mattress and tossed it in the office. That became my bed. And when we got a bigger house, I just setup in a separate room."

-pineapplesarepeoplet

No Sleepovers

"We blended two households. His bedroom was fully furnished and the furniture and closet were full. It made sense for my stuff to go in a different bedroom."

"We started out sleeping in one room or the other but I realized pretty quickly that, if I ever wanted to get a full night's sleep, it wasn't going to be in the same bed with him. I've been known to call him a sweating, snoring, slant sleeping sonofab*tch after a night of his sweating, snoring, and slant sleeping."

"We do a "your place or mine" thing for nonsleeping activities but gtfo when it's sleepy time."

-Virgowitch

Sleep Ninja

"Sleep cycles and she violently tosses around. I've been asked by my commander if I got into a fight when I showed up to duty with a black eye."

-Cpt_Covfefe

"My ex once clocked me right in the temple. I had woken up a few seconds before and watched her try to grab the blanket to pull up over her shoulder, miss, and hit me closed fist."

-bridgekit

Some Like It Hot

"My grandma and grandad do. She likes it freezing and he likes it boiling."

-NotWithstandingNick

"Related but not: My grandparents may share a bed but they do have separate margarine containers. He’s a scraper; likes to keep the top of the margarine smooth. She just digs the knife in. They’ve been married 50 something years and have had this two margarine system for as long as I remember."

-subclassy

Sharing

"Not separate rooms, but a king bed and separate blankets. We sleep way better, I am a notorious blanket hog and he’s always hot when he sleeps. Then we can be close when we want to and separate when we need a good sleep."

-rec_is_my_game

Same Room...

"We're both 41, been married 23 years and sleep in different beds. First half of our marriage we always slept in the same bed (of course there was the occasional crying kid who wanted mommy to sleep with them, or falling asleep on the couch or somewhere else)."

"About ten years ago I spent a year working a midnight shift so I started to sleep on our spare bed in the basement. We both realized we had much better sleep separate in our own beds."

"After I went back to a day shift we went back to sleeping in the same bed and soon realized sleeping apart was more restful. Over time we bought two full size beds and put them in our bedroom (like the old TV shows). It's been great."

...Seperate Beds

"So a lot of comments about intimacy. Yeah we have sex, I'd say every bit as much as we ever did in the past.""

"We've been married over half our life so we are really good at knowing when fun time is going to happen. Sometimes we sleep in the same bed, there are no rules we have to sleep separately all the time."

"Our beds are about a foot apart and sometimes we slide them together, especially when the kids were younger and they'd end up in our room, along with the dog."

-LinuxIsTheBest_G

Sometimes a little distance is just what a relationship needs.

Do you have a similar experience to share? Let us know in the comments.

People Who Actually Died And Were Revived Share Their Experiences

"Reddit user AlaskaStiletto asked: 'Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?'"

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.