Unfortunately, toxic masculinity is still passed down from generation to generation. Things are deemed too “girly" for a man to do when they really have no reason to be so gendered. A lot of men out there do want to break these societal norms--but they may not know how to go about it.
These guys might have a few ideas. Reddit user Eicaker asked:
Boys, if it was considered more universally acceptable, what is a "girly" thing you would like to do?
Weirdly enough, a lot of these so-called “girly” things are just basic human decency.
Be the change, dudes!
“Hug people more/compliment people more, I'm a guy and whenever I do any of those things people think I'm being weird and it's so annoying.”
“In a weird way I wish I was a girl, but not because of any girl thing except for how supportive and friendly they are, particularly with other girls. It sounds like an easy way to make a lot of friends.”
This is so sweet.
Music Video Singing GIF by FaouziaGiphy“I brush my friends hair and she taught me how to braid it. We keep it quiet.”
“I taught my son to french braid hair when he was a young teen because I remember being impressed as hell with a guy who could do this. My son practiced and got really good at it.
He's reported back that girls have responded very positively to this skill.”
More guys need to do this.
“Talk more openly about feelings, some sh*t really just needs to be worked out.
Edit: This is just a general suggestion, I personally have a support structure in my life that allows for this. However thank you for the concern(s), comments, and the awards (which I never expected).”
“My best friend is a guy and whenever he needs to call me to talk he apologizes? After. Like "Sorry that was like two hours, I'm just really frustrated." And I always have to remind him that that's why I'm here. Like we're friends dude, don't feel like you're bothering me because you want to talk about how someone did you dirty. I end up just sitting in my car talking so we're not constantly interrupted by my kids trying to talk, it's not like I had to do anything.”
Society has really weird rules for what men can consume or wear. If these things became more socially acceptable, I think the world would be a better place.
Fruity cocktails are the best way to get drunk.
“Drink a rainbow colored cocktail at a bar and watch more romcom sh*t.”
“"Real men drink beer!"
OK sasquatch. You drink your beer-flavored seltzer water and I'll continue to throw back these exceptional 1-800-f*ck-me-ups.”
Dollhouses are the best.
episode 8 designer GIFGiphy“Not a guy, but one time I went to a famous toy store with a guy friend and they had a HUGE dollhouse section. I was freaking out because I love dollhouses, and my friend's eyes got really big and he confessed that he had always loved dollhouses but never felt like he was allowed to play with them as a kid.
So we hung out looking at tiny furniture for like an hour.”
Why are scents gendered?
“I want to smell like a coconut or a summer breeze, not BATTLESHARK or TIMBERKNIFE.
Also please make more conditioner for guys. I don't want to buy a bottle that works as shampoo, conditioner, sunscreen, lotion, and siracha sauce all in one.”
People Share The 'Dirty Secrets' That Their Bosses Don't Want Customers To Know
Anyone can bake!
“I used to think baking was girly, but I've been doing it since a kid and I absolutely love it.”
“I find this stereotype so funny. Hmm, yes, you know what's manly? Having to rely on others for food because you can't be bothered to touch a stove or oven. I cook for myself and I love doing it.”
If we stopped assigning gender to the most random things, the world would be a better place.
This guy gets it.
skin care pain GIF by iOne DigitalGiphy“Guy in his 40s married with two kids. My hobbies include playing drums / woodworking / hiking. I take baths and put bubbles in because I like nice smells and it relaxes aches after working. I use moisturiser that includes sunblock because I'm in my 40s and my skin looks f*cking great.
I use conditioner on my hair because it's no extra effort and makes a massive difference. I drink whatever cocktails sound appealing / I haven't tried before because you only live once. I prefer mixed company because guy chat can be tedious.
I take care of what I eat but I'm not obsessive about exercise. I enjoy gardening and my home is full of houseplants which I tend religiously. I have a huge interest in design / art and music of all types with a special interest in jewellery design.
If somebody tells you sh*t is girly its pure ignorance and at my age I have zero f*cks for that kind of limited mindset.”
Everyone needs a plant or two.
“I don't know if this counts, since it's not generally girly thing but I'd love to have a lot of houseplants.
But not the typical ones no no no, I want to focus on various herbs. Be it conventional ones like mint and its types or more wild ones like cowslick or firegrass. Essentially I want to get as close to a witch as possible while still keeping my logical worldview.”
Leggings are the best.
“So, uh, don't judge but -
Leggings are pretty great.
Seriously, there's a reason they've become so popular with women, they're just really d*mn comfortable. And I know they've gained popularity in men for athletic purposes but not just casual wear, maybe they will someday.”
Men, just be yourselves. Even if it means embracing your feminine side.
Cat dads are the best.
Always Sunny Eyes GIFGiphy“I love kittens and hate dogs. Don't get me wrong, I would never harm a dog and I get sad if I see a dog in a bad situation. I just don't want to live with them.
Anyways, the taboo of a guy with cats held me back for quite awhile. And I wish I could have shown more of myself in my twenties.”
Wear that skirt, boy.
“Wear a skirt. Well, people do not complain if I do. Wear long nails. Well, most people do not complain if I do. Wear nail polish. Most people do not care. Waste tons of money on fancy shoes, bags and stuff.”
Flowers for everyone.
“Flowers. Fresh ones all over the house. Roses on the piano and tulips on my organ. Buying flowers at the store I feel like I have to pretend they are for my wife but secretly they are for me!”
Preach.
Pool Party Lol GIF by SA CompanyGiphy“Considering I grew up with only women and I'm comfortable with myself and my sexuality I literally just do whatever I want....
Hugs, flamboyant exaggerations when I'm excited, hand movements when I talk, gasping and putting my hand to my chest etc.
Anyone who is uncomfortable behaving like themselves needs to get over how other people view them and just be themselves.
I get that the question is a generalization, but I think it is utterly pathetic that most guys feel like they have to put on this "manly man" persona for anyone to take them seriously.
I'm more of a "man" than any of the guys I grew up with and I'm 1000% more feminine than all of them.”
They’re the best.
“I'd like a lightweight robe. Can't really find a decent one as a dude without looking/feeling like Hugh Hefner or looking too feminine to feel comfortable.”
I personally love a man who embraces the not-traditionally masculine parts of life. My husband is the best cook I know and does almost all of the cooking in our house (I help sometimes). There are still a lot of men out there who would consider that a "woman's job", but talent in the kitchen supersedes gender.
In short, toxic masculinity makes no sense, and it needs to be stopped. Let men enjoy things
- Men Explain What They Wish Other Guys Would Immediately Stop Doing - George Takei ›
- Women Break Down The Things They Wish Men Would Stop Doing Immediately - George Takei ›
- People Debate The Sexiest Things That Men Can Wear - George Takei ›
- Men Break Down The Most Ridiculous Reason Someone's Questioned Their Masculinity - George Takei ›
- Guys Explain Which Things They Really Enjoy That Are Considered 'For Girls Only' - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Manliest Things They’ve Ever Done - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.