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Gay People In A Straight Marriage Explain How It Happened

'Til YOUR death do us part!

People's love stories and intimate relationships is first and foremost... "Nobody else's business!" They are however constantly fascinating. How two people or.. three or... four make it work is a miracle. It's difficult accepting yourself and in this current climate in life it's often terrifying to be public about it. So people will hide themselves and try to 'make it work' in a relationship that is probably doomed.

Redditor pbntm wanted to discuss the inner workings of mixed marriage; mixed being...

Gay people in a straight marriage, how did that happen and how is it working out?

Maybe next year. 

"I'm not sure if I'm really 100% gay, but over time I just kind of lost interest in men. It wasn't always like that. When I first met my husband, we had plenty of sex. No orgasm for me but I remember enjoying it. But like a lot of relationships, the passion faded. After a decade or so I realized that non only did I no longer desire my husband, my fantasy material had changed."

"If I see a pretty woman on the street, it turns my head and makes my heart flutter. If I see an attractive man, I'm curious about his diet and exercise routine. I regularly develop strong, painful crushes on the women around me. I've never been romantically interested in a man other than my husband, ever. All in all, I think I'm at least mostly gay."

"As for our marriage, he knows. We've discussed it at length. We still love each other and are compatible in every other way, so we're staying together. Over a year ago, we agreed I could date women outside of the marriage, but dating is hard and scary and takes time and energy, and I haven't had any. Maybe next year." 6079_WSmith

Thanks Religion.

"I grew up in religion and I just had no idea that I was queer. We were already married several years before I realized it. I honestly didn't know you could be homosexual. I had been taught that was a fake thing. I thought the way that I thought about women was how everybody thought."

"I am in pain a lot of the time about it but my husband is absolutely wonderful, and we have an amazing life together, so I choose to do nothing about it." sweetcarolinekisses

For the Coin. 

"Did it just for the money. Wife is gay and her parents are wealthy, conservative. All of her sisters already married even though she is the oldest. She wanted a sham marriage to get her parents off of her back and I wanted $200,000 plus the lifestyle of my choice while I'm with her."

"We have a sham shared bedroom for when the in-laws are over but normally I sleep in the office where the gaming PC is and she sleeps in the master bedroom. I can't have girls over, but I am free to do whatever I want in my free time. She has had women over sometimes and she explains to them that I'm her gay roommate/personal trainer."

"What's the end-game here? I never want to get married anyway, but if I want to start a family within the next 5 years I will have to pay back the 200k, with interest. I've already tripled this money though so that's fine."

"Her end-game if I leave? I don't know, but I'll assume she can just tell them that I was unfaithful too many times. The in-laws ask about children, but we keep putting off the conversation." InclusivePhitness

Just Rub it Away.....

"I know an LDS couple where the man is gay and the woman is lesbian. Openly. He blogs about it. But because according to their faith it's wrong, they got married and had children. It was almost like it was a "program" of the church - connecting homosexuals of different genders in order to ensure they quell their "urges". In his blogs he talks about her more like she's a good friend and companion, but there's clearly no Eros there, no spark that glues them in that way."

"On the one hand, it's sad. On the other hand, who the heck am I to judge how people who have different values than I do live their lives? It's weird to me, but it seems to work for them as far as it goes."

"Still tho, I wish dude could just rub up on another dude and be happy." RogueModron

Oh Auntie....

"My Aunt was gay but just kind of denied it for years. She eventually married a man who was basically her best friend and just kind of pretended to be happy with it. She eventually gave birth to her only son (my cousin), but a few years after that she finally came to her own realization that she just wasn't happy pretending she was straight. She came out to her husband at the time about how no matter how much she tried to be attracted to him and love him as a husband, it hurt her inside to do it. And he was... surprisingly accepting of it all things considering."

"He had apparently picked up that she seemed to be in distress whenever they would try to make things work, and for awhile he had blamed himself for it and thought it was his fault for putting her through that pain. So in reality he was somewhat relieved. They both mutually agreed to separate, and were divorced. Both found new partners, they remained great friends, and my cousin lived a pretty balanced life despite having to jump between 2 houses from time to time." C3POH66

"dated"

"When i was younger i "dated" an older married man for cash, i felt awful doing it but i did what i had to."

"Hearing about his family made me sick. He claimed he would never leave his wife because of their son's health problems, I'm not sure what they were exactly was the issue, but the son was older than me and still living at home."

"I begged him a few times to leave his wife, not for me, but for her, i truly believed he needed to be honest with her, this man had been unfaithful since the day the met. He constantly remarked if she would just die it would solve all his issue, hearing this would make my skin crawl." Sister_rayon

The Wool Puller....

"My dad was gay. He got married for status and propriety, and basically told me as much later in his life. He effectively pulled the wool over my mom's eyes until after my older brother was born. I guess I should be glad they still had me, even though I'm certain she knew by that point."

"I recently found a couple of letters that my mom had sent him during these years. She was absolutely miserable and remained depressed through the remainder of her life."

"He was honestly a lousy dad, and things weren't really much different when he finally jumped ship in my teens. I realize much of his anger and emotional distance may have had its roots in a self-loathing born of a deeply homophobic era. That doesn't change the fact that he basically ruined my mom's life in order to project a desirable social image."

"So to answer the question, it didn't work out so hot." gertalives

Besties....

"From what I remember of my ex-best-friend, both of his parents were gay and after moving from their country that was pretty against their skin color (and sexuality we later learnt) later divorced and have their own same sex partners now." Black369Ace

The Needed Truth...

"My spouse didn't admit to themselves that they were trans until five years into our marriage and so they didn't feel the "need" to inform me that from their perspective they were a gay male whereas from my perspective they were a straight female."

"So the short of it is that they lied to themselves and me for all that time, even going so far as to omit other former relationships from their "full" list that would have clued me into the truth of the matter."

"The truth came out when it was time to have kids and they couldn't go through with it even though it was a pretty big intention we both expressed before marriage." lightknight7777

The Future?

"My parents expect me to marry a girl. The impending crap show that will occur when I come out (22 rn, I have no idea when it'll happen) is not something I'm looking forward to." Riko-Sama

It's Cultural... 

"I know a gay person here in Africa who is married. His culture expects it and so he has gone along with it. Even has a kid--it's his for sure because they look like twins. Nonetheless he identifies as gay, not bi. He is very effeminate and it's more like an open secret that he's gay. But since marriage in his culture is more about a social arrangement rather than love it's not a big deal."

"He has a very good job and she wants to be a housewife and so I guess she is ok with the situation. It is kind of funny to me when all his gay friends are over visiting him and his wife is there."

"Does she know about him and his friends? I asked him once and he said she doesn't know anything, but I asked one of his gay friends and he said she knows everything." ontrack

Don't Ask, Don't Tell...

"Not me but my uncle. Married his wife as an alibi. She was a young single mom with a daughter. So she got a man who raised her daughter and my uncle got a family so no one asked questions. A few years ago they broke up, but stayed married and still are best friends. When he finally came out to everyone a few years ago a part of our family cut him and everyone who supported him off. But he's happy now with his lovely boyfriend and he enjoys finally being able to be himself."

"I talked to my aunt about it and she said, she didn't know from the beginning and really loved him, but always had a feeling. She's still in love with him but she knows it's not his fault and he was the greatest husband and father and he's still her best friend." SaschaCawa

Love you mom...

"Not a first person experience, but my buddy in high school's mom was gay. She had extremely homophobic parents and denied that she was gay the majority of her life. She married and had kids, don't ask me how that worked out. They divorced eventually and both remarried, now he has 4 parents." TH4TS4M4ZING

Gay or straight... be kind! 

"Not me but my dad. He came out last year, I'm now 25 and have three sisters. Our childhood was pretty good, didn't really have any idea until he came out to us all. He tells us he's always known."

"When he came out I was the only one that really accepted him, my family was quite religious at the time. He left my sick mother and moved to the other side of the country to be with a new boyfriend. Now they want to move into the house he and my mother built together."

"Now, none of my sisters talk to him. Slowly I keep getting more and more information about what was going on throughout my childhood. Reports of cheating and huge amounts of crippling debt are making their way to me and making me rethink my childhood. Part of me feel that I don't really know the man who is my father. I still love him but this secret he has had to carry around for my whole life seems to have caused him to make choices that have hurt our family."

"Not really the best." jazzvibe

Safe Sex... 

"Had an uncle in this position."

"He was legitimately in love with his wife (they were high school sweethearts) and they had four kids, he just wasn't sexually attracted to her. Eventually he cheated, caught a serious STI and at that point came clean. They divorced."

"It was a bad situation for everyone involved in the end." sirgog

Carry on girl! 

"I am South African. My family is very religious and homophobic. They will literally rather die than have LBGTQ daughter. I am in a secret relationship with a girl. They think she is my roommate/ best friend. So we are able to get away with it. I know a closet gay African guy in my situation and he is willing to marry me as a cover up for both of us. However, my girlfriend does not agree and will not allow it. So stressful and depressing."

"I woke up to all these amazing messages , thank you so much for your help. And Encouraging words. Working on permanently moving to Another country. I have been traveling out of South Africa multiple times with short stay visas. Working on getting permanent residency. Thank you all for the kind messages. ❤️💚" ibabaka

Therapy is fun! 

"My ex came out after 8 years of marriage and 2 kids. He sexuality was deeply suppressed due to her upbringing and was only uncovered while in therapy for other issues. 10 years later, I'm happily remarried, the kids are doing well, and she is in a same sex relationship." Canucklehead_Esq

In & Outed! 

"I'm a lesbian from a religious and conservative area/family that heavily considered doing this as a teenager."

"However, my good friend (who is also gay, and in the closet) had a really hard time when his father came out as gay. He had been having an affair with a man for awhile and it just broke his mom's heart. She was very upset, and rightfully so... not only about the affair but that her whole marriage and relationship was a lie. My friend was upset by this too, and ended up coming out because he didn't want to do this to anyone. I decided soon after I'd never marry someone I didn't love, because it wouldn't be fair to them."

"Ended up coming out in my mid-20s and my family was super accepting and I currently have a gorgeous, intelligent and very patient fiancée my family adores."

"I have strong feelings about this... I understand the pressure to conform and the fear of being "outed" but you have to consider the other person as well." Icarus_Dee

4 is the best #!

"This used to be so commonplace that Southern grannies of my Nana's generation even had a word for it. A 'white marriage' was when one or more homosexual people got married in what looked like a hetero union, but the actual situation was based on a deep friendship. One might see a lesbian lady and a gay gentleman pairing off to keep up appearances, a straight lady and a gay gent, a pair of asexuals, or any combination. And so long as they were happy and kept any drama to themselves, it wasn't a problem."

"Of course, there was also such a thing as 'practically double twins' or a 'merry foursome' which in Nana's generation's slang was when a pair of white marriages were clearly just the best of couple friends, did everything together, and everyone in town would sort of smile at what close friends these two obviously straight couples must be. Certainly not two gay men and two lesbians. Definitely not. Right."

"And the whole town just kind of went along with that, because friends are adorable and couples are adorable and happy families were so rare in the Flannery O'Connor-esque Southern Gothic horrorshow that was life back then, a slight suspicion here or there wasn't really that big a deal. Apparently Nana's childhood best friend's grandparents were a merry foursome whose respective kids had paired off after the one returned from boarding school, and the whole family was very happy. Their family is still friends with ours." spiderqueendemon

Mic. Drop! 

"Dare I say.... bi-accident." Morwen_Kalir

"This is the only correct answer. I love it!" I_try_and_fail

Sorry for your loss...

"My husband came out as gay last month and now we are getting a divorce after being with each other for 17 years married for 2 i met him in the 4th grade as a friend and we evolved from there... he said he can't be with me anymore and although I am doing better I am absolutely still devastated any of this is happening." BBQpringles

The Wavelength...

"I'm super late, but I'm a straight Male married to a gay woman. Sexuality is definitely a spectrum. If super straight was 1, and super gay was 10, she cruises at about a 9. She identifies as Pan, but definitely favors innies."

"She's had more girlfriends than me. She was married previously to a man. When she decided to leave him, she had pretty much given up on guys. We were really good friends. The kind of deep personal bond that you get with someone, where even if you've only known them for months, it feels like years. We are on the same "wavelength" on some many things. Eventually we stopped pretending like there was no sexual chemistry between us and started dating. Married a few years later."

"We have a very healthy sexual relationship. Some might call it alternative. I understand she has desires that I, as a man, can't fulfill. I have no problem with her fulfilling those desires with others. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But with love, understanding, a strong friendship as a base, and compassion, we make it through." ShortyLow

No sex please...

"Not married but been together for 3 years. We met through a mutual friend. He's always known I'm gay. We had 3 months was an extremely, extremely emotionally intense friendship. He's the nicest person I've ever made and the person I wish I was. Could not adore him more. Still can't."

"Then we started hanging out one-on-one constantly. I knew I completely 100% loved him emotionally and wanted to see if I could make it work. I was always the one who suggested and initiated everything. He was always hesitant because he knew I was gay and needed to feel sure it's what I wanted. Plus he had never done anything before- not even kissing. All of the firsts were fun and exciting because it was he was so happy and amazed and thankful."

"And then 3 years whizzed by. Still not "out" to friends and family about it, though at this point they pretty much know. It's working out as good as possible. We're technically poly, but I've made no efforts to date other woman recently because of my depression. We've had an active poly relationship in the past which me and him handled decently well."

"Our emotional connection is fantastic. We were soul mates in the first couple months of knowing each other, and that hasn't changed at all. He's thoughtful, intelligent, hardworking, dependable, sensitive, kind, witty, adorable: he embodies every value I care about and is the best friend you could ever have."

"Plus sex isn't the worst thing ever. I'm indifferent and "bleh" more so than disgusted or traumatized. Feels like I'm just doing my best friend a weird, mildly gross favor that makes them far more happy than it makes me feel icky. Penetrative is the one thing that really fucks me up because of the physical pain, so it's very rare and I'm always the one to initiate it. In general I get a lot emotionally out of pleasing him. We both get a lot out of making the other person happy."

"But that only goes so far. I know I'm not sexually satisfied and it's not enough for me to just have this one relationship forever. I've told him that and he knows. He's always known. We're just enjoying it for what it is as long as it makes us both happy. I think that's as much as you can ask for in any relationship. Or just in life, really." Geigas

Pray it away...

"Child of a gay man who married a woman to be a good Christian here."

"He left my mom with two kids to have a string of partners, eventually marrying a millionaire. He lives with his husband in an actual mansion while his ex wife and children live in a tiny house that we can't afford/repair. Holes in the siding, leaky pipes and roof, dilapidated wooden monstrosity that used to be a deck, family of squirrels in the attic we can't get rid of, etc."

"He at least texts me sometimes, so that's nice. I love the guy, but he's responsible for a whole lot of pain and misery. Don't start a family to stay in the closet. It isn't your life you'll f**k up, it's theirs. I mean i'm glad I exist, but I don't like being a chapter in my dad's life that he would clearly rather forget." saltinstien

Thank you Josh...

"For anyone interested in this, there is a very long running blog by Josh Weed about doing this for fifteen years. He is LDS and recently came to the conclusion that they shouldn't have been proponents of this, people were hurt due to their example, and are getting amicably divorced so they can live their lives to the fullest. It's a good read." Maebyfunke37

Duck and cover...

"Not me but my Uncle in Law, had homophobic parents. Married his best friend, a lesbian with homophobic parents. Their marriage was the perfect cover, they claimed they were infertile (tbh i doubt they even tried to see) and instead adopted three kids and raised them. They secretly dated what others just thought were there best friends. Once both sets of parents had died they told a few close friends and family but they stayed married and still live together etc." lucozadeprincess

You can't hide forever... 

"My old boss is gay. He had two kids with his ex-wife and until the kids were about 2 and 3 he finally couldn't hide his true sexuality from his wife. Apparently he told her the truth and how he still loved her a lot and how he loves his kids and wants to make it work."

"She let him talk and he knew she would listen. What he didn't know was how CRAZY homophobic she was. She went mental and took his kids to the United States, stole his money and sent him divorce papers in the mail like the next week basically. He signed the papers because she promised he'd see his kids every other week and she'd send him back half of the money she took but she needed it right away because she couldn't bear to be near him. You can imagine how this played out."


"As far as I know he's still trying to see his kids more than once a year and because she's in another country it falls on really messed up rules plus she keeps avoiding the cops. Apparently she just randomly shows up once a year at his house at random times of day on a day he would least expect it so she can avoid the police here and he has no idea of her whereabouts at any time. It's messed up I feel really bad for the guy."

"It's been years since I talked to him last so I don't 100% know how he is now but like I said I hear he's still fighting for his kids who are now in their late teens and seen their father a handful of times since she bolted. From what I hear him and his boyfriend have been together for a while now and are having talks about getting married so I hope everything works out for him." MilitaryFish

Make it work...

"My dad came out when I was in middle school. He and my mom are still really good friends, and they probably talk everyday. Instead of divorcing, they stayed together - although separated - for financial reasons until I went away for college. My mom and I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment building, and my dad on the 1st. I'd alternate dinner nights with the two of them. We still spent most holidays together. Although now, my mom lives with her new husband. Both are very happy, and I don't think there are any regrets." DickVitalis

Cheers!! 

"[MARRIED A LADY] We lived together for 3 years as really good friends and we divorced and she went on to marry a close friend of mine and i am in a long term gay thang so it all worked out great!" samuelma

Happily Ever After...

"Me. As a scared Mormon boy, I told myself growing up that the only person who could decide if I was gay was me and so I decided I wasn't and swore never to tell another soul. Got my first girlfriend in my late 20s and married her, had kids, etc."

"I was all in and congratulating myself for doing the right thing and making it work until my wife decided it wasn't working. She is now engaged to her girlfriend." Nowayucan

This was a very interesting and enlightening read!

Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.