People Break Down The Funniest Tattoo Mistranslations They've Ever Seen
September 16 | 2020
Photo by Jake Davies on Unsplash
Tattoos written in a language not spoken by the wearer are not uncommon.
People like to have a mysterious mark that they can claim is deeply significant for them, and yet you have no idea what it even means.
But the inky exoticization can backfire. In fact, for many people out there, it did backfire.
Whether it was the workings of a snarky tattoo artist or the fruits of total cultural ignorance, there are plenty of folks walking around with tattoos that say something VERY different than what they intended.
And thanks to a recent Reddit thread, all kinds of real life examples are right at our fingertips.
sunriseoverseas asked, "People who are able to read Chinese: what tattoos have you seen that were clearly not what the tattooed person aimed for?"
Spicier than Strong
"It's not me but my stepdad got a symbol on the back of his neck that he THOUGHT meant 'warrior' or 'strong' or something like that."
"Someone told him one day that it 100% says 'spicy.'"
-- BillyDomo
A Declaration
" 'As a matter of priority I declare, I am a wife beater' is what I saw on a man's arm."
"(作为优先事项，我声明我是殴打妻子的人)"
"he thinks it's means something along the lines of 'the best, strongest, manliest man is right here!' "
Making Them Sweat
"I'm Chinese and love to ask people why they have 'butthole' tattooed on themselves. I can't even read Chinese." -- choibot3000
"My friend would use 'Beef with Broccoli.' " -- davesnotonreddit
"I want you to know that you are my hero." -- windyporcupine
Courageous Milk
"I speak Japanese. A guy had a massive Kanji tattoo on his arm. I asked him, 'what did you ask them to put on you?' He said 'oh, this? It means courage.' "
"Sir, that means breastmilk."
Reverse Case
"Counterpoint: When I was living in China I saw a Chinese woman with 'Mind, Body, and Soup' tattooed on her. Still not quite sure if it was intentional or not" -- sometimesIbroncos
"I would not mind that tattoo." -- Lord_Grif
"At least I know what to call my organic soup subscription service now." -- jpterodactyl
Villainous Hole
"I read about one once that was supposed to read 'bad a**,' which it technically did, but the translation was closer to 'evil anus.' " -- SilentMunch
"I'd much rather have 'evil anus' on my arm than 'bad ass' " -- igotbigballs
"This would potentially be fairly accurate for me, at least on chili night" -- phormix
Can't Tell if This One Was Intentional or Not
"I saw a picture once of a huge back piece that just said 'vegetables.' " -- discountErasmus
"The last time I saw a thread like this, there was a guy who wanted to purposely get a tattoo that meant something ridiculous. I think he settled on 'bean curd.' " -- IAmGoingToF***That
So Everyone Knows Where He Stands
"Once on a subway this guy was telling us how his new tattoo was painful, it even had red marks around it."
"An Asian dude told him, 'Was it really worth it to get 'I eat pu**y' tattooed under your eye?'"
"The entire station filled with laughter"
-- JemaArteest
Constantly Campaigning
"there's this white guy i saw online a really long time ago — his wife/gf is called emily and he decided to get 'emily' but in chinese tattooed on him."
"he probably decided to run 'emily' thru google translate or smth bc he ended up tattooing the full name (first and last name) of a local politician in my city. it's still funny to me even now lol"
-- ptg1stwin
Loud and Proud
"I've spent some time in China and seen a lot of the reverse - Chinese folks wearing clothes with embarrassing things in English, or gibberish."
"The one I remember most clearly was a middle aged, no-nonsense looking kind of woman wearing a t-shirt that just said 'BALLS' in large sparkly letters."
Confirmed by Committee
"When I was in the Army, one of the guys I was in with had this tattoo that he was super proud of.He claimed it meant fierce. We went with it."
"A few months later, we're sent, as a group, to San Francisco as part of a recruiting, P/R trip. We go into Chinatown and a get dinner together. The guy with the tat always made sure that tat was visible."
"We're sitting at the table and the waitress takes our order, as she does she looks at dude and asks if he raises chickens?"
"Dude: 'What are taking about?' "
"Waitress: 'You have chicken on your arm.' "
"Dude: 'No, it says fierce' "
"Waitress in calls to another and says, 'What that say? Tell him.' "
"Second Waitress: 'Chicken' "
"You could just see dude die inside. Especially when a third person who's English wasn't as good says 'It say cock' "
-- gunbunnycb
Open to Interpretation
"I can't read any, but a friend in high school had to break the news to a girl her tattoo basically meant prostitute and not what she thought it meant." -- Waylon88
"She will have got her Chinese zodiac sign which is rooster. The one they commonly have in the tattoo shops is actually 'chicken' which is slang for prostitute." -- Sufficient_Bag_4551
Testing, Testing, Testing
"I can't read it but a girl i was seeing pointed out my ex girlfriend had a tattoo that read something like 'demo text' on her shoulder." -- suitology
"I've seen signs in various parts of Asia that are obviously from google translate. My favorite was, IIRC, at a park. -server temporarily down; please check back later" -- meowhahaha
Sounds Cozy
"Japanese kanji 'Friend Boat.' They thought it read 'friendship.' " -- tropicofducks
"I like friend boat better" -- Sphalerite
"F*** yea! Everybody in the friend boat!" -- kevingranade
A Warning Label
"I've never seen anything like this myself, but my favorite example I saw on a previous thread about this was someone who claimed their tattoo read 'lover of Asian beauty' when actually it said 'pervert pig' (変態豚)."
"I'm guessing he must have been one of those creeps who fetishizes and objectifies East Asian women, and the tattoo artist picked up on that and put a warning label on him."
-- KawadaShogo
Telling It Like It Is
"Heard about this guy who got a tattoo that was supposed to be words like honor, strength, etc."
"He showed it off to a friend that could read it. The friend laughed and said it actually read, 'In the end, this boy is ugly.' "
"He went back to the tattoo shop and it was permanently closed."
-- MikeCanDoIt
Artistic License
"One of my friends in HS got a Chinese symbol on her back , really huge. When I got to college I showed some Chinese / Mandarin speaking friends what it meant. My HS friend didn't even know what it meant to be honest."
"Turns out the symbol means absolutely nothing , like it's not a real symbol in any language , just randomly drawn swishes basically."
-- ivymel666
Lightning Round
"Ohohohoho, I have a lot to tell you...this chinese not-friend of mine were writing on people with permanent marker (not tattoo, but whatever)"
"面包 : Girl thought it meant 'Elegant Swan' . It means BREAD"
"土豆：Guy thought it meant 'Strong Warrior'. It means POTATO"
"傻子：Guy thought it meant 'Brave'. It means IDIOT"
"喝水: Girl thought it meant 'Beautiful Girl'. It means DRINK WATER"
"胖猪: Guy thought it meant 'Good Man' . It means FAT PIG"
"\|: Guy thought it meant 'Nice Guy' . THIS ISNT EVEN A WORD ITS NOT EVEN CHINESE, ITS JUST LINES"
"笨小孩: Girl thought it meant, 'Graceful Lady' It means DUMB CHILD"
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People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
January 26 | 2021
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
<p>u/GaryHippo asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4q81z/serious_when_did_you_realise_you_were_being/" target="_blank">[Serious] When did you realise you were being manipulated by someone you trusted?</a></p><p>Here were some of those answers.</p>
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A Platitude Of Pleasing
<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?
<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Being Used
<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Hiding The Receipts
<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO
<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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How Do You Do This To Someone
<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>Be My Friend And Not Theirs
<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Victim Time
<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies
<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law
<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Keep reading...
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Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
<p>And their humor is changed forever. </p><p>This isn't confirmed, but it would appear that all the dads have a secret weekly meeting where the latest puns are exchanged and exercises in awkward timing are practiced. </p><p>A mighty craft is honed, and he can fill the role he was meant to: the colossus of cringe, the pun producer, he who instills the sigh. </p><p>And yet, for all the cringing and the facepalming, we love to say the very same jokes. There is just something about that quaint stupidity. </p><p>BennuH asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"What's the best 'dad joke' you know?"</a></p>
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Regional Laws
<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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For the Face Plant Image
<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Mammal of Few Words
<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Baggage
<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public
<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not Wrong
<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>Watch the News Before Saying This One
<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Got a Million of Em
<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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G-Pa With the Physics Humor
<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor
<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Image by Patricia Srigley from Pixabay
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***
Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedyto try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
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Wrapped Up
<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Flesh
<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>One scene, the cops thought it would be helpful to put newspaper on top of the leftover melted body oils which dried to the floors and was terrible to clean up. Sad cleaning up these things when family is in the other room as well. Not working the job anymore but definitely gave me an appreciation for the hard work biohazard clean up crews do. Mostly on-call as well so you never know how long you will be away from home.</p>
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Walk Away
<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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All over the House
<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>A runs out of his room, across the landing, down the stairs, out the front door, back inside, back up the stairs and collapses on the landing. When I got there it was like a scene from a movie, walls and ceilings, everywhere A had been were caked with blood. Apparently after B stabbed him, he returned to cooking his breakfast. There was a half eaten breakfast in the kitchen when I got there. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko05sb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Paymaker</a></p>
"ride-alongs"
<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The most disturbing part to my brother was that the kid had all of his belongings boxed up and labeled, he had letters written out and labeled for who they were supposed to go to, and he even went as far as laying out a tarp, and then putting heavy blankets over himself before he shot himself - as a courtesy to the people that would have to clean his remains.</p>
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<p>This wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision, this was a very well-thought-out suicide and the guy was obviously thinking about everyone who would have to deal with it too. So sad to imagine such a thoughtful person in so much pain that he meticulously orchestrated his suicide. My brother said the scene messed him up. Not because of the gore, but the lack thereof. Because this guy so meticulously and thoughtfully offed himself. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gkofvk0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">mistercolebert</a></p>
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Melt Away
<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Audrey
<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The hurricane hit south Louisiana in June of that year and most of the bodies recovered were found in the salt water marshes that cover the area, so it's safe to assume that they were in an advanced state of decay. I've heard it said that the smell of the decomposing bodies was so bad that the alligators would actively avoid the areas </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko55b2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">caleb_justcaleb</a></p>
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Hazard
<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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After the Crash...
<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>There was so many backpacks and things just covered in pizza blood, It is hard to even describe it to this day. it was oozing out all over the road and was like an exploded pizza pocket. Everyone that was waiting in the traffic jam looked horrified. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknyt6m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">homestead1111</a></p>
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Fresh Meat
<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong><em>If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact </em></strong><strong><em>the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at </em></strong><strong><a href="https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/</a></strong></p>
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<p class=""><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/" target="_blank"></a>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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| Image by freestocks-photos from Pixabay |
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.
<p>Reddit user, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/procastinator3837/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">u/procastinator3837</a>, wanted to know what makes you squirmy when they asked:</p><p><em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/?sort=top" target="_blank">What instantly makes you really uncomfortable?</a></em></p>
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Like A Cow Chewing Glue
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMzg4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NzM2NDY3M30.LbvvfErx6eex6Wsv_QaMhEKbbYpWWjUVGrk7txcMK-8/img.gif?width=980" id="4e223" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="457dc92f3da17b901e98ed690699ef80" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="366" />Season 3 Laughing GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy<p>Mouth noises</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjnwrje?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">annairachelle</a></p><p>Hearing people eat is terrible, but I feel like some of the more common mouth noises are less recognised. For example, ever watched a YouTube video where you can hear the slapping tongue/ saliva noise every time someone pauses and reopens their mouth? Hell.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjp2tmd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">I_Am_Sweet_Potato</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Squishing Around The Floor
<p>Wet socks</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjnp1b0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Zomgojira</a></p><p>My entire skin cringed after reading this. Some horrors really shouldn't be put into words, man.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjntuq8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ferox3</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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No. No No NO NO NO. No.
<p>Having to go to the bathroom right after someone else just went to the bathroom</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjo1ec5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">TechnoTofu</a></p><p>And the seat is still warm....</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjop6pp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">norbertisnotadragon</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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DON'T. YOU. LOOK. AT. ME.
<p>Being the center of attention in basically any way, shape or form.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjo2xp7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">onemanmelee</a></p><p>I'm a straight female, married for 17 years. I shook soooooooo hard as I walked down the aisle, not because I was nervous about marrying my husband but because people were staring at me. How I didn't puke is beyond me.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjoxqhh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DTownForever</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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You Feel It In Your Gut For The Other Person
<p>Second hand embarrassment. I can't watch other people embarrass themselves on live TV sometimes even shows or movies. I automatically feel bad or embarrassed on their behalf.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjot812?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">NoMorePeopling</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Calling Just In Case
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMzg2Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDM3Nzk4Mn0.Tz61eiWJaIvlPO9qvcq_5CcIo3iRYnVxTCF1AwST2kg/img.gif?width=980" id="2300d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b735755373ad34b1292cb2dac411af14" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="362" />guarding season 11 GIFGiphy<p>When you're walking around a store looking for something and the security guard follows you...</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjnysyl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Chemical_Nose</a></p><p>I actually had walgreens page for customer assistance to my aisle one time after I'd been pacing back and forth for a while. Somebody must have been watching and getting suspicious of me but honestly... I'm just that indecisive sometimes.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjp2axt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">sohcgt96</a></p>I'll See You Soon?
<p>When my boss says " I need to talk to you when you get a minute......", then he disappears for three hours.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjoe7l2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Bigdodge68</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Did I..No? Maybe? Was It Something I...Said? Did? No? Maybe?
<p>When someone is clearly angry around me and it could be because i <em>might</em> have done anything wrong.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjnsqwo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Finalgamer2019</a></p><p>Even better, when someone is mad but won't tell you why and just keeps saying "I'm fine" but continues directing their anger at you anyway.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjojd9a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">WhisperingWilds</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Relic Of Old-School Teaching Methods
<p>When the teacher/professor says, "Let's go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves"</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjo3k1b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Just_Village_8818</a></p><p>resting bpm goes from 75 to 150 real quick with that one</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjohhdu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">cessactdm</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
We Can All Agree: All Of Our Voices Are Awful And We Shouldn't Speak Anymore
<p>Hearing my own voice and watching a video of myself.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjo7j4j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">InternationalCut1908</a></p><p>I have been in multiple musicals and shows with the community theater in my town, bought the DVD, and never watched ANY OF THEM EVER. I can't. I completely understand actors who say they never watch their own movies. That would be unbearable.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjoo0xs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Dispatcher12</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Fine Line Between "Fun" And "Obnoxious"
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMzg4My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNTU0NzA1N30.zD3k6RM8sybFYbTfaMCpO6J8UDxQH-OackF7FVIaPGE/img.gif?width=980" id="8f127" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="74713e5b93a5c328eba6f6fd43b5c870" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="362" />homer simpson singing GIFGiphy<p>When people start to sing, I've dated a couple of choir girls and they all thought they were the best singers, it's awkward AF</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjnvhjw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">beefyiceman94</a></p><p>I Love when average people start to sing cause they're happy or really like the song but I HATE those people that have like a slightly better voice and sing all the time because they think they sound real good... <br></p><p>It feels plain and really [infuriating] to me.<br></p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzgi77/what_instantly_makes_you_really_uncomfortable/gjoit0x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">scremtrick</a></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. </em></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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