Tattoos are an incredibly personal and variable thing. Some folks think they should only be reserved for important things. Others are fine with tattoos being something as unimportant and silly a dancing hot dog if it makes a person happy.
Some tattoos though ... yeah.
and yeah ... some tattoos... 0.o
Yeah, I just hit you with a text-moji like it's 2004. Nothing else could adequately describe the face you're about to make while reading this.
Black Widow
Former tattoo artist; a man who looked to be in his late fifties with no other tattoos came in asking for a black widow on the tip of his penis. He said he wanted to "surprise his wife when she got back from her trip" that weekend.
He didn't seem to be under the influence of anything fueling him to make this ridiculous choice, so I proceeded to tell him it was a horrible idea; tip skin is not the same as other areas you'd get a tattoo, it would be painful, he would not want to use it while the tattoo was healing, everything I could think of for him to logically come to the conclusion that it was a bad idea.
No dice.
I could also tell he was getting off on trying to make me uncomfortable (small female, mid twenties at the time). I finally said sure and threw out an astronomical "handling fee". He frowned and finally walked out the door.
Hello Kitty
I witnessed a tattoo artist attempt to talk a guy out of a tattoo while getting one. This guy who was maybe early 30s came in, he was super awkward and had a few other people with him. They were obviously drunk.
He explained to the artist that he wanted a hello kitty tramp stamp the size of a cd. His friends all laughed and started to record this guy.
The artist asked him why and he said his friends thought it was funny. The artist tried to talk him out of it. He ended up getting the tattoo.
I think about this poor guy who was obviously doing this to fit in with his crowd of "friends" and how he has to live with a tramp stamp of hello kitty.
De-Escalation In Action
This isn't my story, but a story I was told at a bar. I was talking to a guy while smoking and he was a tattoo artist.
He told me he had a female client who wanted a neck tattoo that said "F*ck ya'll b*tches, your man chose me"
He said that he delicately, as politely as humanly possible, got her to agree to just the words "He chose me."
He said the kicker was telling the woman that the tattoo would be meaningful in different social situations. Such as a wedding per se, He chose me, or when going to church, He chose me.
The woman agreed and got it tattooed.
- cklamath
Knowing that people this confrontational actually exist just cracks me up.
Long Live The King
This was actually a post tattoo proclamation.
Woman came in with her boyfriend wanting his name with a crown over it on her wrist.
Sometimes these tattoos can be marks of sex trafficking. If she had given me any indication whatsoever that she didn't want the tattoo, I wouldn't have done it. She advocated for herself and the tattoo.
Most of the photos of tattoos done on sex trafficking victims appear to be done by a kitchen magician, scratcher, garage guru, a NON professional. This tattoo was done in a professional studio and they paid a professional price for it. Seems like a big risk to me to force someone to get a tattoo in a public space.
I truly do not know the situation. She was much older than me (mid 40's) dude even appeared younger than her.
I tried to talk her out of it but she insisted. So my general policy is to do the tattoo well; maybe with a thinner line weight so it's easier to cover later, but at least it'll be a good tattoo.
Fast forward to after the tattoo, she's all wrapped up, ready to go, and she asks me to look at another tattoo to see how much it would cost to cover.
Turns around, pulls up her shirt, and lo behold, there, across her lower back, in HUGE letters: some OTHER dude's name, WITH A CROWN OVER IT!!!!!!!
WHAT!?!?!? Are you KIDDING ME????? WHY WOULD YOU WANT THAT???
AGAIN!!!!!
Omg...
Sometimes, these people, it can be hard y'all.
The Good Taste Police
I was getting work done and the receptionist came in to speak with the artist. She had someone at the front desk looking for a quote on "Barbed wire starting around his wrist and wrapping around his arm all the way up to the shoulder,"
"How about nothing, because that's stupid and I won't do it."
"Oh, uh, okay, I'll tell him."
He looked at me and said, "Sometimes you have to be the good taste police. I did a Nike Swoosh once when I was broke and I still regret it."
Change Of Plans
I'm not an artist, by any means, but I went with my younger brother for his first and the artist had a look like he was dying on the inside the entire time. I could see the absolute defeat in the man's eyes when my brother responded with "yeah that'll show the b*tch".
What was planned was a gorgeous macaw and some flowers along with a nickname our grandma used to call him before she died. But literally as he's walking back with the artist for final decision my brother decides the macaw needs to be a skull, the flowers needed to be daggers and the lettering should now read DEATH instead of the nickname.
This was being changed because his girlfriend had broken up with him a few days before. He was angry and a this tattoo would be his outlet. The artist was able to come up with something, but it definitely looked thrown together last and he wasn't happy.
The ex-girlfriend never even saw the tattoo. As far as I'm aware she blocked him and all of his friends and moved back to her home state with her mom.
I Still Feel Bad About It
I get to tell this one all the time!
Several years ago I tattooed the words "Jeffrey Dahmer" in sh*tty scratchy writing on a girl's neck for her 18th birthday. She had been coming into the shop a lot with her friends as they got tattooed and talking about it. She had the letters drawn up exactly as she wanted them and everything.
The answer was always the same. "No f*cking way".
When she finally turned 18 she came in with a few friends and asked again. I told her politely to f*ck off with her shenanigans. A few minutes later her friend told her he could just tattoo it with the "gun" he got off eBay at home.
I made the hard choice to do the tattoo to ensure that it wouldn't get infected or be all scarred up if she ever decided to have it removed.
It's been circulating around the internet for several years. I still feel sh*tty about it, and hope she got it removed.
The Apprentice's Dolphins
First tattoo was for my entire left side. I'd done the art myself as a watercolor, and it looked really good—a bunch of driftwood, a fishing net, and various seashells and glass dolphins hanging like windchimes.
The artist was recommended by a friend who swore up and down that he was incredible, but I wasn't knowledgeable enough to look up his portfolio, etc. He had me wait a few days because I was grieving the death of my sister, to make sure I didn't change my mind.
I wish I had. His f*cking "apprentice" redraw the art, and I didn't think to check after the kid.
The seashells looked like hands and the dolphins looked like d!cks. The artist didn't correct either, claiming that I should've gone over the apprentice's shoulders and made sure the kid did it right.
I went to the shop next door a year later (their rival shop), and asked one of their artists to fix it. New artist takes one look, notices all the scarring and heavy lines, compares it to my original painting, and immediately knows who did it.
Dude has done all of my tattoos since. His portfolio is all hyper realism, but he does incredible watercolor if you let him loose. I always feel bad because I know he'd rather do muscle cars, but he tells me he doesn't mind cuz his watercolor work on me brings in easy sorority girl money.
Dysfunctional
When I was an apprentice I just got handed a lot of assignments I couldn't turn down.
The one that stands out is a couple who got enormous tattoos that just said "dysfunctional" shoulder to shoulder, in giant font. They were white but it was in the style of those large, arching Chicano family name style tattoos.
I was handed the assignment of tattooing the woman of the couple because the boyfriend "didn't want another man touching his woman" and I was the only female with a slot.
They just like sucked as people. Were on too many muscle relaxants and kept slipping off the chairs and and jolting up, twitching. They said lots of aggro things etc.
I was lucky that her shoulders were much smaller so I finished her up much quicker than the poor dude that was tattooing her boyfriend. He kept having to come back for more sessions.
Eye Contact
Artist for 12 years here.
Had this one guy come in with his soon to be wife and asked if they could tattoo engagement rings on their fingers. I said it wouldn't look good and what not. But they wanted it.. Anyways a couple of days before the session he comes in with a photo of his girlfriends eyes and says forget the rings. I want her eyes instead.
So when the day came I asked him where he wanted the piece and he said right here, pointing right above his dick, and started to chuckle a bit..
So you know he was an adult, 35ish, so we did the piece and he was so happy with it.. he looked at it and said
-Now she can look herself in the eyes when she.. huh-huh you know.. huh-huh
I ran into him a couple of weeks later and, of course, I asked him what she thought of it.
-Naaw ya know we broke up..
I was just thinking.. yeah "we"..
- osktox
Henna, Mike Tyson, and a Banker
I'm a professional henna artist, so the tattoos I do are not permanent (sometimes this opens doors because people will ask for wild things because it goes away).
However the one story I'll never forget is this guy came into my booth close to closing time with his buddies, they were all drunk but he was definitely more wasted than the rest of them. He wanted me to copy Mike Tyson's face tattoo for him.
I asked him several times if he really wanted to do it. Even his friends kept trying to get him to not do it and kept trying to explain to him that henna, while not permanent, doesn't wash off the next day. It could last for weeks.
He wasn't having it and said he had to have it done. I ended up doing it and dude was super pleased with how it came out that night.
He ended up coming back into my stand around the same time the next night asking how he could get it off cause he had to return to work the next day and said he was a banker so it had to come off.
I had to explain to him again while sober that we tried to tell him last night that you can't just take it off, you have to wait for it to fade naturally and suggested he ask his girlfriend or a female friend for a foundation recommendation as that would probably hide it. He wasn't happy about the fact that he was wrong about it washing off - but he didn't give me any shit about it either. One hell of an experience though.
Auschwitz? Oh No.
I am not a tattoo artist, but I asked this question to the guy who tattooed me a few years ago.
The answer he gave me was when some guy came in and wanted the Auschwitz gates (the one that says 'Arbeit Macht Frei') tattooed on his back, he told the client to go home and think about it for a while.
He actually returned a while later, but in the end the tattoo artist refused to do it, as he didn't want to be associated with a tattoo like that.
When You're Really Excited About Your Job
Not a tattoo artist, but I'm sure I got a tattoo which made the artist cringe. I was at a music Festival in Europe and drunk out of my mind and decided to get my very first tattoo.
So I rock up to the tattoo shop at the festival at about 3 in the morning after been drinking all day and say I want to logo of my company I work for on my chest. He said are you sure?
I said "Yeah man course I'm sure!"
Well I have had it for two years now and I still get shit over it. Apparently it's the funniest thing anyone has ever seen
Leopard Panties
My sister got me to drive her to a tattoo shop to get one. She told him what she wanted and where.
She wanted leopard print all over her butt, hips, belly and pubic mound. Basically like a tattooed set of leopard print panties.
Then from the front and back there are long scars/scratches down to the underwear area on both sides
It took a couple days and no idea on the cost - but about a year later she started getting it removed I guess. There is something weird about her.
It Lives On YouTube Forever
YouTube Screenshot
I watched my cousin get his last name tattooed across his back in large bold letters...it was misspelled.
The second A in the tattoo was supposed to be an O.
I sent the video to comedy central to see if tosh.0 could show it, but never heard from them so it now lives on YouTube forever and I think that's outstanding.
- zbo9
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People Break Down The Funniest Tattoo Mistranslations They've Ever Seen
Tattoos written in a language not spoken by the wearer are not uncommon.
People like to have a mysterious mark that they can claim is deeply significant for them, and yet you have no idea what it even means.
But the inky exoticization can backfire. In fact, for many people out there, it did backfire.
Whether it was the workings of a snarky tattoo artist or the fruits of total cultural ignorance, there are plenty of folks walking around with tattoos that say something VERY different than what they intended.
And thanks to a recent Reddit thread, all kinds of real life examples are right at our fingertips.
sunriseoverseas asked, "People who are able to read Chinese: what tattoos have you seen that were clearly not what the tattooed person aimed for?"
Spicier than Strong
"It's not me but my stepdad got a symbol on the back of his neck that he THOUGHT meant 'warrior' or 'strong' or something like that."
"Someone told him one day that it 100% says 'spicy.'"
-- BillyDomo
A Declaration
" 'As a matter of priority I declare, I am a wife beater' is what I saw on a man's arm."
"(作为优先事项,我声明我是殴打妻子的人)"
"he thinks it's means something along the lines of 'the best, strongest, manliest man is right here!' "
Making Them Sweat
"I'm Chinese and love to ask people why they have 'butthole' tattooed on themselves. I can't even read Chinese." -- choibot3000
"My friend would use 'Beef with Broccoli.' " -- davesnotonreddit
"I want you to know that you are my hero." -- windyporcupine
Courageous Milk
"I speak Japanese. A guy had a massive Kanji tattoo on his arm. I asked him, 'what did you ask them to put on you?' He said 'oh, this? It means courage.' "
"Sir, that means breastmilk."
Reverse Case
"Counterpoint: When I was living in China I saw a Chinese woman with 'Mind, Body, and Soup' tattooed on her. Still not quite sure if it was intentional or not" -- sometimesIbroncos
"I would not mind that tattoo." -- Lord_Grif
"At least I know what to call my organic soup subscription service now." -- jpterodactyl
Villainous Hole
"I read about one once that was supposed to read 'bad a**,' which it technically did, but the translation was closer to 'evil anus.' " -- SilentMunch
"I'd much rather have 'evil anus' on my arm than 'bad ass' " -- igotbigballs
"This would potentially be fairly accurate for me, at least on chili night" -- phormix
Can't Tell if This One Was Intentional or Not
"I saw a picture once of a huge back piece that just said 'vegetables.' " -- discountErasmus
"The last time I saw a thread like this, there was a guy who wanted to purposely get a tattoo that meant something ridiculous. I think he settled on 'bean curd.' " -- IAmGoingToF***That
So Everyone Knows Where He Stands
"Once on a subway this guy was telling us how his new tattoo was painful, it even had red marks around it."
"An Asian dude told him, 'Was it really worth it to get 'I eat pu**y' tattooed under your eye?'"
"The entire station filled with laughter"
-- JemaArteest
Constantly Campaigning
"there's this white guy i saw online a really long time ago — his wife/gf is called emily and he decided to get 'emily' but in chinese tattooed on him."
"he probably decided to run 'emily' thru google translate or smth bc he ended up tattooing the full name (first and last name) of a local politician in my city. it's still funny to me even now lol"
-- ptg1stwin
Loud and Proud
"I've spent some time in China and seen a lot of the reverse - Chinese folks wearing clothes with embarrassing things in English, or gibberish."
"The one I remember most clearly was a middle aged, no-nonsense looking kind of woman wearing a t-shirt that just said 'BALLS' in large sparkly letters."
Confirmed by Committee
"When I was in the Army, one of the guys I was in with had this tattoo that he was super proud of.He claimed it meant fierce. We went with it."
"A few months later, we're sent, as a group, to San Francisco as part of a recruiting, P/R trip. We go into Chinatown and a get dinner together. The guy with the tat always made sure that tat was visible."
"We're sitting at the table and the waitress takes our order, as she does she looks at dude and asks if he raises chickens?"
"Dude: 'What are taking about?' "
"Waitress: 'You have chicken on your arm.' "
"Dude: 'No, it says fierce' "
"Waitress in calls to another and says, 'What that say? Tell him.' "
"Second Waitress: 'Chicken' "
"You could just see dude die inside. Especially when a third person who's English wasn't as good says 'It say cock' "
-- gunbunnycb
Open to Interpretation
"I can't read any, but a friend in high school had to break the news to a girl her tattoo basically meant prostitute and not what she thought it meant." -- Waylon88
"She will have got her Chinese zodiac sign which is rooster. The one they commonly have in the tattoo shops is actually 'chicken' which is slang for prostitute." -- Sufficient_Bag_4551
Testing, Testing, Testing
"I can't read it but a girl i was seeing pointed out my ex girlfriend had a tattoo that read something like 'demo text' on her shoulder." -- suitology
"I've seen signs in various parts of Asia that are obviously from google translate. My favorite was, IIRC, at a park. -server temporarily down; please check back later" -- meowhahaha
Sounds Cozy
"Japanese kanji 'Friend Boat.' They thought it read 'friendship.' " -- tropicofducks
"I like friend boat better" -- Sphalerite
"F*** yea! Everybody in the friend boat!" -- kevingranade
A Warning Label
"I've never seen anything like this myself, but my favorite example I saw on a previous thread about this was someone who claimed their tattoo read 'lover of Asian beauty' when actually it said 'pervert pig' (変態豚)."
"I'm guessing he must have been one of those creeps who fetishizes and objectifies East Asian women, and the tattoo artist picked up on that and put a warning label on him."
-- KawadaShogo
Telling It Like It Is
"Heard about this guy who got a tattoo that was supposed to be words like honor, strength, etc."
"He showed it off to a friend that could read it. The friend laughed and said it actually read, 'In the end, this boy is ugly.' "
"He went back to the tattoo shop and it was permanently closed."
-- MikeCanDoIt
Artistic License
"One of my friends in HS got a Chinese symbol on her back , really huge. When I got to college I showed some Chinese / Mandarin speaking friends what it meant. My HS friend didn't even know what it meant to be honest."
"Turns out the symbol means absolutely nothing , like it's not a real symbol in any language , just randomly drawn swishes basically."
-- ivymel666
Lightning Round
"Ohohohoho, I have a lot to tell you...this chinese not-friend of mine were writing on people with permanent marker (not tattoo, but whatever)"
"面包 : Girl thought it meant 'Elegant Swan' . It means BREAD"
"土豆:Guy thought it meant 'Strong Warrior'. It means POTATO"
"傻子:Guy thought it meant 'Brave'. It means IDIOT"
"喝水: Girl thought it meant 'Beautiful Girl'. It means DRINK WATER"
"胖猪: Guy thought it meant 'Good Man' . It means FAT PIG"
"\|: Guy thought it meant 'Nice Guy' . THIS ISNT EVEN A WORD ITS NOT EVEN CHINESE, ITS JUST LINES"
"笨小孩: Girl thought it meant, 'Graceful Lady' It means DUMB CHILD"
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"The customer is always right," is a wildly overused axiom that seems to be untrue as often as it's correct.
The knowledge and experience of a product provider often means they can give some pretty good advice when a customer is making wild demands. That is especially true for people making permanent modifications to someone's body.
The internet abounds with photographs of terrible tattoos that people decided to get for a myriad unknown reasons that we likely wouldn't understand even if we heard them.
Some are actually good ideas, just placed in the very wrong spot on the body (looking at you, gaping panther mouth about to clamp down on some guy's nipple, a beach in San Diego, 2014).
Some would have been great if that particular tattoo artist was up to the task. The execution just wasn't there.
Of course, many bad tattoos are the work of horrible fabrications of the customer, and a tattoo artist that didn't push back.
But for all of those existing regrettable tattoos there is a trove of the unmade. These are the ones that never graced the skin thanks to a few tattoo artist heroes who stepped in and confronted stupidity when they saw it.
Some are actually good ideas, just placed in the very wrong spot on the body (looking at you, gaping panther mouth about to clamp down on some guy's nipple, a beach in San Diego, 2014).
Some would have been great if that particular tattoo artist was up to the task. The execution just wasn't there.
Of course, many bad tattoos are the work of horrible fabrications of the customer, and a tattoo artist that didn't push back.
But for all of those existing regrettable tattoos there is a trove of the unmade. These are the ones that never graced the skin thanks to a few tattoo artist heroes who stepped in and confronted stupidity when they saw it.
Father Figure
"I'd just like to publicly thank the tattoo artist who in 1988 (on my 18th birthday) refused to tattoo a pot leaf on my leg. You are a saint."
-- jack_kels
Plenty of Reasons There
"Some dude wanted his girlfriend's initials on his taint and requested a female artist to do it. We kindly denied it because..."
"a.) not 100% sure how that would heal and didn't want to deal with him coming back with issues trying to pin it on us"
"b.) our only female artist didn't want to go near some random dudes taint"
For When You Need an Pop Culture Reference During Kinky Sex
"Lord of the rings ring around their butt hole. No thanks." - oldcoffee
"Speak friend and enter." - drironside
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS" - Brookeh1224
Torqued Up Tidal Wave
"My artist who is a friend has had a few rough ones but the one he turned away was a guy that wanted waves I believe on his d*ck, which for it to look right the guy would have to be erect the whole time and he told him no."
Bio-Framed
"My tattoo artist says he once had a guy want a tattoo under his thumbnail, like he was gonna rip the nail off, then come in to the studio so he could get a tattoo that would eventually be protected by a new thumb nail."
-- bloodectomy
"Without looking up from his magazine, artist asks, '... help you?' She tells him, "yeah, I want to get 'PROPERTY OF BUCKLEY' in all caps on my lower back.'"
"Silence. Painfully slowly, the artist closes his magazine, and finally raises his head to look at them. Taking his time, he looks up the couple up and down, then asks, 'and this winner right here, this is Buckley?'"
She kind of just stammered and nodded, and the artist went back to his magazine. 'No. We're not doing that,' was all he had to say, considering the subject closed."
"Once they were gone, he looked over at me, realizing I had witnessed it all, and just said, 'f*ckin kids, man.'"
"Artist friend had a client who wanted a swastika on his chest. She agreed to do the tattoo, but disagreed on the placement. She said she would do it only if she could put it on his forehead. He refused. And left."
"She said that even if he did agree to it she have had refused because f*ck that guy."
"The word 'filthy' across a 19yr old single mom's forehead (brought the baby with her to the tattoo shop). Took the time to talk about face tattoos and why she should wait to make such an extreme decision."
"Went on dinner break, came back and my co-worker had tattooed it on her. Oh well, I tried."
-- Rylan_Black
"A lady whose child recently died Wanted me to tattoo 'you should have saved her' on her chest. I convinced her to get the symbol for mental health (semi colon) and baby footprints instead."
"This woman was devastated, we talked a lot during her session. I always wonder how she is doing."
-- Grandnaguss
"Not a tattoo artist, but mine turned a request down. I wanted to tattoo one of my nipples as part of a piece on my ribcage. I wanted to put sunglasses above the nip tip and rays around it to turn my nip into the sun for it."
"Fortunately, they knew me well enough to say, 'Dude, you cried getting your ribcage done, your nipple would be even worse and it won't take the ink as well. I like the idea but no.'"
Orlando Bloom Got A Tattoo Of His Son's Name In Morse Code On His Arm—But He Apparently Spelled It Wrong
We love to make fun of people who get tattoos in other languages and manage to get it wrong.
I'm looking at you, Ariana.
Ariana Grande tried to get a tattoo of 7 rings on her in Japanese but she SPELLED IT WRONG and instead it reads “BB… https://t.co/5JeWRuaedm— adumb (@adumb)1548830689.0
But morse code seems safe, right?
Well, Orlando Bloom found that in such an intricate graphic language, mistakes are readily possible.
Bloom hoped to dedicate his new tattoo to his son, Flynn.
Bloom said that the morse code inked on his arm spelled out Flynn's name, and that the numbers were the date (01/06/2011) and time (09:03) of his birth.
But there is one snag...
The morse code spells out "Frynn."
Orlando Bloom’s New Tattoo For His Son Is Wrong, Morse Code Experts Say https://t.co/NP2HMsUKYM https://t.co/7mvHrMvZry— The World News (@The World News)1581649652.0
@HuffPost Dang it. Don't you just hate when that happens??— Frank Knopf (@Frank Knopf)1581625917.0
@HuffPost It reads FRYNN!!! 🤣— Andy Cundell (@Andy Cundell)1581624036.0
@HuffPost https://t.co/d7fNkCRtfF— PH¡££¥ ĶÅŤĘ (@PH¡££¥ ĶÅŤĘ)1581623918.0
@HuffPost That's why: Never words. Even in Morse code.— Tekla (@Tekla)1581625285.0
In Morse Code, "Flynn" would read:
. . _ . . _ . . _ . _ _ _ . _ .
Bloom's tattoo reads:
. . _ . . _ . _ . _ _ _ . _ .
It's the difference of a single dot.
Can't make this up. https://t.co/egkhbKGKm3— Chris Jones (@Chris Jones)1581655502.0
LOLOL 🤣 https://t.co/CMHvSOMlq0— TD (@TD)1581653405.0
Don't make the same mistake as #OrlandoBloom. Admiralty House should be your first stop if you are considering a Mo… https://t.co/YCv7IicRed— Admiralty House Communications Museum (@Admiralty House Communications Museum)1581602897.0
@etnow https://t.co/SvSZ7Qkd6Q— Thomas Sullivan (@Thomas Sullivan)1581629702.0
@etnow How could you misspell your own son's name? Unless it was the tattoo artist's fault?— GATP (@GATP)1581641451.0
Bloom has yet to comment on the misspelled tattoo.
But why get something imprinted on your skin if you haven't double checked?
Lol it says Frynn. I’m screaming. https://t.co/5j1EzXoRKE— Alexandra Gallant (@Alexandra Gallant)1581623535.0
Orlando Bloom released a 'gram of his new tattoo. It's supposed to say his new son's name in Morse code, and the n… https://t.co/T7zv9GdMdZ— Amazon Post - Hard to read in darkness (@Amazon Post - Hard to read in darkness)1581623977.0
Orlando Bloom after he finds out he misspelled his son's name in his tattoo https://t.co/sgKjficYUW— Acquittal Me This™ (@Acquittal Me This™)1581631040.0
Just missing a dot https://t.co/hc5NSDVof7— Metro Entertainment (@Metro Entertainment)1581548478.0
@ladbible It doesn’t make any sense double checking stuff before you have it tattooed on your skin...... 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️— Swiftycous 🤔🤔🤔 (@Swiftycous 🤔🤔🤔)1581623519.0
In 2020, let's all resolve to double check the permanent ink before it goes on our skin, shall we?
Language appropriation is not wise on many levels.
For one thing, pictorial languages generally can ascribe several meanings to one picture. For another, sometimes a slight misprint or or change to the characters changes the word completely.
And then you're stuck putting your foot in your mouth forever when you decide to get that misprint tattooed.
u/10s10ahad asked:
People who understand Chinese/Japanese, what's the dumbest thing you've seen tattooed on someone?
Here were some of the answers.
Definitely Grand
Dude was so proud of his grandson that he had a tattoo that said "I love my grandson"
Except I'm guessing everyone just googled "I love my grand son" because it came out reading "I love fat boys."
Whoops
Nom Nom Nom
I have the characters for Shrimp Dumpling (Har Gow) tattooed on me. I knowingly did this, because I'm half Chinese and love shrimp dumplings.
I had a chinese girl ask me if I knew what it meant and I laughed and said of course, I love dumplings.
My chinese mother was not impressed but then laughed and said it was very me.
Labeling
I noticed some random white guy with some interesting tattoos (I think it was in an amusement park) and then got a little excited to see Korean tattoos, which You rarely ever see. They were written vertically on his each of his calves. One said left leg, the other said right leg.
Dumb and pretty cool.
Not Quite
Once when I was in university, working at a shop, a very fat lady came in with the kanji for "large" tattooed on her shoulder blade. I politely complimented her tattoo and asked what it meant. She said it meant "sassy".
Dumplings Are Two For Two
I don't know if this was stupid or brilliant but someone had "您有小龍湯圓嗎?"which is respectfully asking if they had soup dumplings. I thought it was really stupid until someone said that they must really like soup dumplings...
Beef Cake
Seen a few over the years but one that I remember most was when I first started learning Mandarin.
The guy had a tattoo on the back of his leg that proudly said 牛肉 which means beef.
Could Still Be Apt
Japanese speaker here. Guy had one that read "トン勝" Someone told him that トン (Ton) means pig and 勝 (katsu) means to win. He thought that putting them together means to win against pigs (police?) とんかつ Tonkatsu means pork cutlet. I didn't have the heart to tell him.
You Need Some Ice For That Self-Burn?
Not my story but a friend of mine:
She could read kanji and was in class one day noticing this girl's tattoo for the first time. Confused she inquired about it:
"What does your tattoo say?"
"High princess"
Turns out it actually said pig princess.
Doit
It always cracks me up to see people with single characters tattooed on themselves, especially characters for the natural elements. I imagine the same tattoo except it says "dirt" in plain english, and it makes me laugh.
"Only Joking"
I met a girl when I was backpacking in China who knowingly had the characters for "prostitute" tattooed on her hip - she thought it was funny, and the only people who saw it would be ones she chose to show it to.
The Chinese guy who was drinking with us in the hostel was horrified, and suggested that she get another tattoo underneath which said "only joking".