Being an educator is one of the world's most arduous professions.
Kids are a handfull, and parents can drive you to the vodka.
It's stressful enough trying to just impart wisdom, imagine having to call home to tattle on the kids for the most outrageous issues.
Teachers insurance should definitely cover mental health care.
Redditor Tee_01 wanted to hear from educators about the times they had to call home by wondering:
"Teachers of Reddit, what is the most embarrassing reason you called a child's parents for?"
Can I Get a Witness?
"Last year, I had a 7th grader who went to the bathroom every day for about 10-15 minutes. I talked to her other teachers, she also went for 10 minutes in their classes every day. She was also late every day. Often by 10-15 min. She always claimed she had IBS/Chrons."
"It came to a head when one day she claimed 'my stomach hurts and I'm about to crap myself. I just have to take a poop.' In front of the whole class. So I called her parents, the school nurse, and the school psych for a meeting. The girl had no medical issues. She just liked to cut class and get attention."
"Near the end of the year, that same 12 year old girl asked me, 'Mr. IAmTheDamnDoctor, are you single? because my sister be tryin' to talk to that right now.'" I had to call another conference and basically ban her and all her friends from ever being in my room without at least a dozen other students/adults as witnesses. That was not a fun class."
IAmTheDamnDoctor
Got Receipts?
"One of the first graders was so constipated he was screaming and crying uncontrollably, pacing with his pants around his ankles in the bathroom. It started almost immediately after drop off, so we called the mother maybe 15 minutes after she left. She did not pick up or return any calls until 5 hours later, because she was 'lol, shopping.'"
generichumancontent
Giphy
Hands Off....
"Maybe more shocking than embarrassing. Parents of a third grader had to be called, because their son tried to strangle another kid on the schoolyard in the break after a fight."
JohannaArtzJohannaArtz
"My dad used to get bullied a lot as a kid and he always told me that if i get bullied i have to fight back hard cause that isn't gonna stop any other way. Luckily i live in a country where fighting back is actually an option and you wont get punished or expelled for it like in the US."
Crap!
"My very first year, of course... and they called ME. I had a sophomore who was basically trouble from the start. In my class he was making a presentation, and he decided to say 'crap' several times (not after making mistakes--it was intentional). So, I docked him for the word usage, and he blew up--I told him it was the same as if he'd used it in a written essay. So....."
"The next day, I get a phone call from his mother--and I knew something was wrong, because everyone in the office was looking at me, and grinning. I introduced myself, and she asked why her son's grade had been docked. After I explained why, she responded, in a pleasant, 'concerned mom' voice: 'Well, I don't think 'crap' is that bad a word... it wasn't like he said 'the F words' or...' and she went on and on offering choice examples and combinations, as the blood drained from my face."
"When the phone call was over, EVERYONE in the office started laughing--seems she was the local 'insane mom.' and these phone calls were common with her."
gremashlo
LOLOLOL....
"Not a teacher but someone was caught watching pornography on his school computer and his parents had to come pick him up. After he came back he told us what happened and what his parents did as a punishment and he told us that they just laughed at him because nothing is more embarrassing than that."
Boi420-69x
SPLOOSH!
"My teacher had to call and apologize to my mom after she told me she wouldn't let me go to the nurse because I was always asking. So I threw up on her desk in front of the whole class."
melli72
Giphy
The 3rd....
"My parents were called when I was in 8th grade because I would only talk in 3rd person. It went on for like, 5 weeks."
AntarcticanJam
"Terry loves talking about terry in the third person!"
flamaniax
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Use Words Carefully.
"My wife was about 30 seconds away from calling not just the kids parents, but also child welfare because she thought a kid wanted to be the 'park w***e' when they grew up. Turns out they wanted to do Parkour."
billbapapa
"Reminds me of when I was a kid. Someone called someone a "lady of the night" in class and I thought that sounded SO cool- like an assassin or a spy or a superhero!! So I very excitedly said I wanted to be a lady of the night!! Could nooot understand why all the other kids were laughing at me."
warpstrikes
Oh Stewie...
"I had to explain to a parent that although family guy is a cartoon, it was not appropriate for an 11 year old. He was quoting the pervy old character to other kids in his art lesson and creeping them out."
lalatconpenny
Giphy
"I had to tell my mom that family guy is not appropriate for my then 9 and 11 year old daughters to watch when they're at her house. She didn't realize what it was and assumed it was fine because it's a cartoon. I only found out about it because my 9 year old quoted something from it one day. They'd been watching it for months at that point. 🤦♀️"
Talyra_SC
A puddle....
"A kid, 5th grader, peed himself in class and left a puddle under his chair. he was was to into the movie we were watching and he didn't want to ask to use the restroom."
rohttn13
"Went to elementary school with a kid who peed under his desk at least once a year. He also would stuff all his snotty/bloody tissues into his desk and refuse to take them out. When the teachers would eventually put on gloves and do it for him he had to be restrained, and would scream and cry for the rest of the day."
JudgeGusBus
No Change.
"Obligatory not a teacher, but I once had my preschool or kindergarten (all I know is I was young) call my parents because I got my head stuck in a hole while playing on the playground structures. I don't recall how they got me out, but I do know that I haven't changed. Not even a week ago, I got stuck on a kiddie ride in a mall and ended up with huge bruises on my legs. My impulses are still difficult to control."
angelofchaos9800
Testies....
"It wasn't embarrassing, it was funny, but in response to the question 'What comes in pairs?' Her son, with total sincerity and enthusiasm said, 'testicles!' I emailed to let them know he was a little upset that I didn't write down his suggestion on the board. His mom said she printed the email and planned to pull it out again on some thanksgiving to read aloud when he was a teenager."
Giphy
No Wang.
"I had to call a single dad to inform him that his six-year-old son perfectly described an explicit porn scene to his friends. This was before internet porn so the kid must have found Daddy's special movies."
good_sandlapper
HE DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB.
"I had to explain to a 6 year old's parents that I wouldn't be wiping his butt for him. They seemed surprised that a 6 year old would have to wipe his own."
"Edit 1: Here's some more context: We had bathrooms attached to the classroom so you didn't have to go very far. When he did this the first time he calls out 'I'm ready!!!' I had an E.A who went and investigated, then came back and very sheepishly explained the situation."
"I told him through the door to just do the best job he could, and to wash his hands a lot. HE DID NOT DO A GOOD JOB. So i ran and found an administrator who took it from there. We had the meeting with his parents that afternoon. The family were recent immigrants from India so i wanted to be sensitive to cultural differences but so far every person from the sub continent gives me the same WTF?! response when i tell them this story."
OneHatOnly
"HECK YEAH!"
"Hi is that Armin's mum? Great. Ummm... could you please teach him not to respond with 'HECK YEAH!' when I hand him a toy? Okay but... look... I didn't say it wasn't funny... I was teaching English at a Vietnamese kindergarten."
Miss_Cegenation
Youth wasted on the Young....
"This happened to a colleague when I worked in elementary school. A kindergartener had asked at the beginning of gym class to go to the bathroom. He intentionally didn't wipe himself. When he came back to the gym, he backed up so that his butt was right in line with another kid's face who was sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor, dropped his pants, and put his crappy butt on that poor kid's face."
"My colleague had to escort them both to the office and call in a district interpreter to call the unfortunate child's parents and tell them that their son might have hepatitis."
SailorVenus23
Giphy
The kid was like 15.
"Actually had a parent call me and apologize. Threw a kid out of class for licking highlighters. Gave him a warning, took the highlighters away, somehow he got another one and did it again. Told him to go to detention. He protested, but eventually went. Got a call that night on my personal phone (I have no idea how mom got my number), the mom profusely apologizing and straight up admitting that her son was being an idiot."
"Then she put him on the phone and made him apologize too. It was really hard not to laugh, because you could tell this kid had been getting reamed out by his parents over the incident and was not interested in talking to me. The kid was like 15. Teaching was a fun time in my life. Not sure if I'll go back but it sure was an adventure."
Petrol_in_my_eyes
Feeling Bad.
"High school Deaf SPED teacher here. My student had contracted a bad stomach virus in his freshman year. He started off the day perfectly fine, had no symptoms and it suddenly hits him. He suddenly asked if he could go to the bathroom and I could see on his face that something was wrong, so I let him go. He came back almost 30 minutes later in tears because he'd lost complete control of his bowels on the way to the bathroom... in front of an entire lunch crowd."
"Thankfully his dad was less than ten minutes away to help with a clean change of clothes, I happen to keep baby wipes in stock and gave him a full pack to clean himself in a teachers bathroom (where I brought him when he'd finally come back so he'd have privacy to clean himself with dad's help). It was awful and I felt so bad for him."
defguysezhuh
Toilet issues.
"Just today I had to phone parents because their child refuses to use the toilet at school and TODAY, during recess, this kid pulled his snow pants down and proceeded to take the fattest poop on the snow covered playground. I'll never forget today."
Grizzmo1
"Ms. Megan, what the heck?"
"I'll never forget when my kids preschool teacher texted me to tell me that he had said a bad word in class. Thankfully, she was more entertained than mad. Apparently, she had put the children's lunchboxes in a different spot than usual. My then 3yo went to grab his lunchbox from his cubby and when it wasn't there he went to his teacher and said 'Ms. Megan, what the heck?'"
purpleghostdance
Giphy
It's Weak
"To me it’s embarrassing because I hate my weaknesses. My mom had just packed up and left for the first time and this was second grade. I was emotional and had cried so my teacher had called my dad and put me in school therapy to help me with my emotions."
OstrichClown
With Cognac
"On the opposite end of that, my parents told me when I was in first grade, my teacher asked for examples of liquids. I raised my hand and answered with Cognac. Probably made my teacher a little curious as to what was going on at home."
samkte
7th Grade Girls
"I wasn’t a teacher, but I was the school nurse for one year. I once had to call a kid’s parents because she stabbed another girl in the hand with a pen. I also had to call the other girl’s parents. In both calls the parents were in disbelief of what happened and I had to reassure them that yes it did in fact happen. The girl who did the stabbing had even tried to suck on the other girl’s wound because she was afraid the girl would get sick as if it was snake venom or something."
"In the end the girl who did the stabbing did not face any consequences she did not even get suspended, everyone was willing to let bygones be bygones. Both girls were in 7th grade and they weren’t even fighting over anything, the one of the girls just decided to stab the other girl in the hand during art class for no reason."
bigcrybabyqqqq
Young girls...
"I had 2 4 year olds telling me they were going to kill me. The one said he would kick me really hard and the other said he will drive over me or cut my throat. I played it cool and told them that they may not say things like that, it's nasty and hurts my feelings. The parents were notified about their kids behavior. They brought me a letter, picture and chocolate each and both of them apologized. Im always happy if parents take these things seriously, not all do."
pashaah
'Corn Hub'
"Ok, I actually decided not to make the call, but I caught a kid on a parody site called 'Corn Hub.' Here's the thing, I teach 6th grade so either the kid knew it was a parody site of Porn Hub or the kid just thought a site devoted to corn was hilarious. If I called the parents, I would basically be saying I know what Porn Hub is (BTW, I had to explain it to my principal – that was embarrassing). So, all in all, I decided to basically let it go. There was no way to make that phone call and win."
estrogyn
Teaching is certainly never boring.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.