There are some professions where we don't realize that certain people in certain jobs have private lives of their own. They have a bunch of weird quirks, secret issues, passions and just straight up life craziness that can leave us all stunned and bewildered. The top two groups we don't see as just average people are therapists and teachers. We hope and pray they're just boring and have it all together, they keep us together. Boy are we in for trouble.
Redditor u/Dman64w wanted the students out there to share a few salacious tidbits about their educators by asking.... Students of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing you caught your teacher doing (in and outside of school)?
Starboy.
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When I was a student, I remember being in detention and I looked over at my teacher because he had beats in and he was mouthing the song Starboy by The Weeknd. I was cracking up. He was also playing I think the game is called Jump man on his computer. rollergirlrat
"exactly seven hours."
It was a Thursday and on Friday I had a test at 8 am. We went for some drinks with a friend, then got high with another friend and the three of us decided to go to a club around 1 am because, well, forget it.
We bump into our teacher at the entrance, he was leaving with one of our classmates. "You didn't see anything. See you in...", he checks his watch, "exactly seven hours."
My friend and I were late to the test, obviously, but he let us present it and we passed. Then became close friends with the girl that was with him. ElMegaTato
HI!
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When I was in middle school my friends and I were kind of hippies, we were at a music festival and ran into the science and math teachers who were also visibly high. slakazz_
I just wanted to learn Spanish.
In high school, I was in a particularly awful Spanish class. I kid you not, we ran off like 3-4 teachers that year. One time someone threw a textbook through the ceiling tiles, another time someone jumped up onto a desk and started dancing in the middle of class, etc. It was terrible, and I felt bad for every teacher that had to endure us.
We finally just started getting a chain of substitute teachers. I'll never forget the time I walked into class (I was the first to arrive), and the newest substitute was huddled behind the computer. He heard me walk in, and immediately shot up, motioning me to come closer with his hand. I set my books down on my desk, and cautiously approached.
When I got close enough, he said "You're not going to believe this, but I promise you it's true." He then clicks play on a Youtube video. Of a flying saucer. Crashing into the World Trade Center.
He then reached into a roller bag, pulled out a 3 inch binder full of information on various conspiracy theories, effortlessly flipped to the exact page he wanted, and began trying to convince me of the "truth" of 9/11 - it was aliens!
Not surprisingly, the class didn't try to run this one off. Also not surprisingly, at least half the class was drinking the conspiracy Kool-Aid by the end of the semester.
I just wanted to learn Spanish. -RAdAbsurdum-
Oh Tinder.
My history teacher senior year on tinder chatting it up during our class presentations having to do with impactful inventions throughout history. Ivanbear445
Yuck!
Caught my 6th grade teacher eating her boogers once.
No one would ever call her out though because this was back in 1995 and she was the olde style fire and brimstone type teacher who yelled crazily at kids that were misbehaving. If it was allowed in public school she would've been at home with a stick to smack kids. _Goose_
IN/OUT
In: Not exaggerating when I say our entire class failed a test for economics. Our teacher, not once, told us there would even be a test that week. He told us the government failed us then somehow spiraled into saying that animals don't have souls and exist for human companionship and consumption. Welcome to public school in the south.
Out: Saw my digital media teacher at a burger king going through two burgers like he was about to starve to death. Fucking inhaling those things. Finished it off by chugging his drink then leaving. He was in the process of this while I was waiting in line to order and was finished by the time I did. SheZowRaisedByWolves
Awkward!
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I caught my math teacher playing Pokémon go at various popular Pokémon locations in our city a total of 11 times. The first time I agreed to meet him for an in game raid in the local discord server and we both showed up only to realize that we had been talking to each other on discord. Most awkward thing. tobasee
6th Grade Crazy.
The last bell rung and I was walking on the hallway on my way home. When suddenly I see a teacher (not mine which adds more reason to not approach her) drops her purse and phone, Well 6th grade me goes to help the teacher pick up her stuff but as soon as I walk towards her she says "It's ok it's ok I got it!" and rapidly picks up everything. But the things she dropped were... not good.
I saw a juul, a tiny plastic bag (couldn't see through) Marlboro packet, a stack of cash and about 10 photos of men.
When I noticed these things I instantly turned around. next day I saw her again and didn't look at her to make it less obvious I knew what I saw. Next year she left the school and I could freely walk the halls again.
I never knew what school she went but now I wonder what she did after school. Pokassium
Honey Wine....
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Ran into my gym teacher dressed as suit of armor at a medieval festival..... It was obvious that he have been sampling the Mead "honey wine." robva122
If you ever get into an argument you should challenge him to a joust. deldge
The Stench of Algebra.
When we complained about the distinct marker smell in his classroom he said "Yeah you can take a trip without ever leaving the farm" and took a deep huff from the extra smelly permanent marker he was holding. Still learned a lot about algebra that year though. MadTechnoWizard
Spin it Round....
My Latin teacher who was a 40 year old mom was also a DJ in her spare time, pretty cool. milanvlpd
Ok we need a rap battle her vs Nero! Nero can sing and play his harp as he watches Rome burn and the teacher can give Nero some sick Latin burns XD. ravenpotter3
"What?"
I walked in on my Civics teacher, who was a known pothead, dancing to the Super Mario World overworld theme song at the back of the room. When he saw me & a friend of mine staring at the late 30's balding man dancing he just looked at us & said "What?" we then slowly left the classroom and went on with the rest of our day. a2j89
The Queen.
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Grew up in the desert region of Southern California. We had this substitute teacher. He looked like the actor "David Cross."
Mid 40's. Dorky appearance, hairy arms/legs, glasses, facial hair, very quiet, kept to himself.
We had the county fair come in and the main event was a Madonna cover group.
So some girls in my class said they saw our conservative sub teacher at the concert, wearing a pair of daisy duke denim booty shorts, cowboy boots, and he was dancing his heart out to "like a virgin" as if no one was watching.
TL;DR: Quiet conservative substitute teacher is secretly Madonna.
Back in 2014....
Back in 2014, I went out to grab some lunch with my friend. He went to go use the bathroom at a Taco Bell when I spotted my film teacher. He was just casually sitting at a table drinking a cup of coffee with Aaron Sorkin. I never asked him about it, I never questioned it, but for your film teacher to casually know one of the greatest screenwriters is kind of weird. Bellude
Sad but True.
Not weird, but it was super sad to see my English teacher working as a cashier at a failing bookstore in the mall as a second job. We don't pay teachers enough. HomeboySucks
My gym teacher worked as a cashier at an athletics store, but she made it sound cool because she got discounts for gym equipment for our school.... How is the bookstore doing though? Giant_Anteaters
Oh boy I've been waiting for this.
Oh boy I've been waiting for this.
We have a course known for a high failure rate. People who don't make it, also tend to change subjects since the course is mandatory.
On my first lesson, the teacher starts presenting what the course will be about. He says that he is often pictured as the devil. He literally shows a power point slide with just his head, surrounded by fire on it. Proceeds to draw himself devil horns. Takes out a huge whip and whips it once in front of everyone. Then he puts it back, and continues with failure statistics like nothing happened.
He kept a straight face through the entire thing.
Honestly, he is a funny guy. He just has weird humor. The course i hard, but he is really doing a good job teaching it. MadCatGalaxy
HAMMERED!!
When I was at university in California, I had a really smart professor as my English teacher. One day he came to class hammered. I don't mean buzzed; I'm talking falling down drunk. After a few minutes of extremely awkward conversation, he invited the class down to his favorite watering hole for a drink. 9 of us took him up on his invitation and had a great time. TaloneyeMan
Shake What your Mama gave Ya!!
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No longer a student, but when I was in high school I found out my history teacher was also a belly dancer after seeing a performance at the Renaissance Faire. She was actually a really good belly dancer! She danced with swords too, pretty cool. PartTimeKhajiit
Ok!
Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Breastfeeding, sure no problem. Changing diapers on the table/booth/chair, no freaking way. There's a reason most bathrooms have a change table."
- LuntiX
Be Clean
"As long as you don't leave your dirty flip-flops on the table that's disgusting."
"Last week I was at a cafe terrace and I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby and afterwards changing the diaper on the table (which was a tad odd since they have a nice changing room there). After she left I noticed she left the dirty diaper on her plate, didn't even bother to close it up."
- domin8r
Silence
"A baby can't scream with a mouthful, so I'd say it's a win-win."
"My son used to do the same. The thing is his twin would get right to feeding and would stimulate the let down on his boob too, so it would be 20 seconds of screaming and 30 seconds of vague drowning noises before he clicked that food was happening."
Who Cares?
"The baby's gotta eat. Plus I don't even pay enough attention to other people to even notice or give a crap either way."
- Jikal
"I agree lol!! I've noticed moms breastfeeding their babies at a restaurant maybe a grand total of TWO times in my whole life, and I go out to eat all the time. However, I ALWAYS notice when a baby is screeching so loud nobody can enjoy their meal."
"I don't even mean just crying, I mean that SCREECH they do sometimes where if you're anywhere close to them you can't even continue talking, you just have to stop and WAIT for the kid to finish. (I promise I don't hate kids LOL this is just my opinion)."
No Adults
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"Acceptable if she's breastfeeding her baby, weird if she's doing so with her husband."
- maajyc
So far, so normal. Stay in your own conversation. If you're that interested about another person, you're sounding like a stalker.
Whateves
Let It Go Whatever GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy"The more it happens the less people will care."
Couple Issues
"I was once breastfeeding my daughter on the beach, aside from my boob being *kind of* out (mostly blocked by the baby) I was wearing shorts and a shirt, more covered than most of the people on the beach. Apparently a dude started watching me that I didn't notice and his girlfriend took offense to it."
"She started to approach me, but my mom was with us and gave her the stink eye to end all stink eyes. I have to think if they had been just a little more exposed to breast feeding this wouldn't have been anything. I'm also 99% sure that incident resulted in the couple fighting."
When in Public
"I walked with my head down the majority of my life because I felt like everyone was staring at me as I'm a very tall female. Started looking up a few years ago and realized how very wrong I was. I cared WAY more about this made up scenario in my head while assuming the worst and causing MYSELF to feel shame over it- than anyone else ever cared about my height. We're all busy doing our own thing and I don't think MOST people care about women breastfeeding in public as people think they do."
In the UK...
"I went to a mall in London, England once with a room dedicated for baby care. There were comfortable chairs and a microwave and sink. There were also little rooms with rocking chairs and low light floor lamps. Now, I would feed my baby wherever the hell I needed to, but this was luxury."
Free!
Mothers Day Mama GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I'd rather a happy baby having a meal than a hungry miserable baby screaming and crying for nourishment. I am however against the restaurant charging an opening fee."
It is what it is. Be free ladies. Whatever keeps the kid quiet, works for most of us. Do as you need.
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Reddit user QadeerRay asked:
What is an item you think should be free?
The responses were honestly a lot more varied than I expected. I was positive I'd see someone mention the places that charge you for using rain water - the literal water that falls freely from the sky - but there's a lot here that I hadn't even thought about and honestly, I'm kind of salty now.
Come, be salty with me.
Notifying People Is Expensive
creepy grim reaper GIFGiphy"Death certificates." - redrivverrunning
"For me they were $16 each - and every single company that the deceased has an account for needs a copy."
"I learned to go in person to places like banks as much as I possibly can. They make a copy and give it back to me, that way I can avoid mailing it for them to keep forever so I have to buy even more official copies." - classic_elle
"In the state where I live, they charge you $20 for the first certificate and $3 for each additional one so the funeral homes generally suggest you go ahead and order 5-6 more than you think you'll need after figuring out their accounts and stuff because it's still cheaper than getting a single extra at a later time." - SilverDarner
"The UK government does have a service where you inform them of a death, provide them with the certificate, and they'll make a best effort to inform all of the person's banks and pension providers. It doesn't have nearly the number of companies being informed that I would've liked, but it's a good start."
"What confuses me is that other companies aren't jumping at the chance to be on the notification list... you'd think it would be in their best interest to be notified if one of their customers died so they can clean stuff up on their end. But oh well." - SweatyOctopussy
"Not really, (at least in the US) they would really only need to stop billing/autopay once they are informed of the death and it is confirmed. The longer they can go without that confirmation, the better it is for their bottom line."
"Source: Work in corporate America" - TheLastFartan
Looking At You, Nestle
3D Loop GIF by Pi-SlicesGiphy"Drinkable water. Looking at you, Nestle. The company has a history of taking over water sources and that whole formula thing was gross." - Whit-Batmobil
"Nestle financially pushed for hospitals in 3rd world countries to start new born babies on 'free trials' of formula feeds so the mother's weren't feeding & their milk would dry up. Essentially forcing them to buy & continue using the formula forever."
"To make matters worse, this was done in areas with no safe drinking water so babies that were only a few days old were giving formula mixed with unsafe water & many got sick/died as a direct result when their mothers could have just breastfed them safely and for free."
"Even when Nestle was alerted to this (as if they didn't already know) they refused to change their tactics. The company is scum." - now_you_see
In Public
bathroom GIFGiphy"Using public toilets in Europe." - pretty_pumpkin
"Personally, here in Germany I find it is counter-intuitive. I think people resent having to pay for a toilet, and treat it like 'Alright, you're going to charge me €.50 for a pee, I'm going to get my money's worth then and just piss everywhere, because f--- you for making me pay to pee.' "
"This I find is especially true with toilets where the cleaning is 'automated.' On the other hand, you go into a lot of department stores, or a mall, etc, the toilets are often attended to by a person sitting just outside the entrance. Payment is usually optional (i.e. there is no turnstyle you have to unlock by putting money in), but it is typical to put €.50 or so in the dish on your way out... and in those cases I find the bathrooms very clean."
"Other bathrooms, particularly those along the autobahn, are actively serviced, but have a payment turnstile thing you have to go through. You can then use the receipt from the turnstile at the fast food and snack shops which are a part of the building, and you'll get the amount you paid at the bathroom deducted from your purchase."
"But overall public bathrooms are just terribly hard to find (paid or otherwise). Public pissing is common and basically unavoidable. You see it and smell it regularly." - Mozambique-Ready
Insulin
michael douglas greed GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"Insulin industry is actually hijacked by three companies and they're doing all they can to keep it's price high."
"It's not a luxury. It keeps people alive! Show some humanity."
"• Eli Lilly, Novo Nordisk and Sanofi are the three companies that dominate more than 90% of the world insulin market by value. This means that they can set prices as they wish."
"• Production cost of insulin is about 2% of it's market price."
"• Unlike any other medicine, there is no generic insulin. Insulin is still under patent after 37 years. 'Big three' producers are abusing legal loophole for over 4 decades. (Known as Patent evergreening)."
"• These companies make profit of worth billions. Not to mention they're spending millions on lobbying politicians and donating to other decision makers to keep quiet."
"• They pay another companies not to enter the market. Or they sue them. That's what happened to company called Merck. Sanofi sued them." - DogDisguisedAsHooman
Standard Bathroom Care
tampons ugh men GIF by DiggGiphy"Uhm tampons and pads in public restrooms, schools, etc. Freak I'm a penis carrier and even I think that sh*t should be free."
"You would be mad if you went in to a public restroom and there was a coin slot for the f*cking toilet paper."
"I don't think they should be free off the shelf. Everything requires money to make so in reality nothing is free, but this should be standard care in every bathroom just in case." - TripleThickBacon
We're Not Here For Fun
season 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy"Hospital parking. Oh, dad's dying? Doesn't matter. 5 bucks." - bdd4
"Where I live you go in for free, but they do charge to leave. If you get your parking validated, (pretty much just saying you had a reason to be there as a patient or visitor) you get to leave for free."
"They had a huge issue with people parking there for free, but not even being there for the hospital. Just a place to park as they did business or shopping downtown where the hospital is located." - Howling_Fang
"You're gonna love this. We as hospital staff have to pay to park the hospital as well!"
"I am close to graduating from a medical program and some area hospitals hire from graduates of our school's program over other applicants so they have meetings at our campus about working there and benefits, etc"
"the cheapest parking package they offered, which is still a MASSIVE hike to the door is $50 a week, the most expensive being $100 a week."
"They made it a point to highlight that their staff ride all the city buses for free with our ID cards and they bring you to the front door, so that's something at least." - xBlackx_xDahliax
The Dreaded Paywall
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Scientific articles. They're mostly behind a paywall."
"You can either subscribe to certain journals so that you have access year-round ($ depends on the specific journal), or you can pay for access to one article at a time. The latter is usually about $30-$50."
"As a scientist, this has always irritated me. People on social media everywhere reference blogs and other non-scientific articles, which are, of course, ill-informed and non-scientific."
"We should be linked to science journals when we Google - but then every time we're interested in some topic, pay $50 to read about it?? That's ridiculous."
"Even news media reporting on interesting results from science pubs get the results mucked up. You really can't trust anything but the peer-reviewed paper itself." - BrahmTheImpaler
"I firmly believe this is one (of many!) reasons why the US is full of anti-science/anti-intellectualism rhetoric."
"We keep information locked behind paywalls, creating yet another socioeconomic barrier for attaining knowledge. Even if the desire to learn is there, it means incredibly little without the ability to access the information." - sayhellotojenn
Buying My Info Back
Confused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy"Schufa Auskunft."
"This private company in Germany just collects all your information (like a credit score) without your consent and the you have to buy all that info back from them because otherwise no landlord will ever accept you."
"There is a free Schufa you can request that once a year (so bad luck if your search for a home takes over a month) and it's also not the full one. Some landlords still demand the full one." - GreenKangaroo3
Seeing Is A Luxury?
Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphy"I have insurance and I still have to pay (in my opinion) too much to just be able to see."
"It's not a luxury, it's a basic need. Also, my sight changes all the time so I can't even get a nice pair and be set for the next few years. If I'm lucky I'll get to keep a pair for 1,5 to 2 years before I absolutely need new glasses." - Proper-Literature173
"I think it's weird that vision and dental are separate from health insurance. Like seeing and chewing are just vanity." - FistedTate
"I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this, I passed 3 waters and chicken nuggets. Why does it cost money to see? And I have 20/20 vision so this doesn't affect me." - Tian_Lord23
So tell us, what you YOU make free for everyone if you could?