It's never fun to watch someone dig their own grave. While it might inspire a sense of "gee, glad that's not me!" it still leaves a lasting impression on you.
People are usually doing the best they can with what they have. And sometimes that best is truly not enough to get them through the day in one piece. Sadly, if you work with them, you're beholden to this horror show, too.
u/chocolatefeckers asked:
What's the most spectacular way you've seen someone f*ck up at work?
These are their stories.
Be A Jerk, Get Kicked Out
GiphyA grad student was invited into a professor's office for a meeting and was left alone for a moment. There was a pile of cumulative exams on the professor's desk that had just been graded. These are subject exams for grad students, wickedly difficult, and you need to pass 4 to continue in the program.
This jackass decided he'd take a look at the stack of exams, then upon finding that some of his fellow students did poorly, he took pictures of their grades so he could use them to ridicule them and pass the results around the department. This was a big deal because numerical grades aren't ever given out for these exams, only pass/fail, and also it's a pretty big FERPA violation to distribute others' personal academic information like that.
He was found out almost as soon as he sent the pics around and was dismissed and forbidden from campus immediately. Someone else had to pack up his desk because they were that serious about him never setting foot in the building again.
21st Century Dumb Moves
Guy drops a glove in a deep fryer, sticks his entire hand in it before realizing it's on and set to 350 degrees F. My current job is a lab technician at a major university, and we had a new guy unplug the small -80 degree C freezer full of recombinant DNA because he wanted to charge his phone.
He's Gonna Win That Case
I was once a bank teller. One day, a guy comes in to pay off a line of credit that he shares with his son. Apparently, his son is a drug addict and ran the line of credit balance up to $10k (maxing it out). The guy comes in, talks to my fellow teller, pays it off, and signs to close it out. He asked my coworker at least 3 times that it was closed. She assures him that it is (she is also addicted to her phone and loans most of her attention to it). Guy leaves.
Several months later, the same guy comes in enraged with a line of credit bill. He comes to my window and explains the situation. He thought it was closed. It turns out that our bank's policy (not sure of this is universal) is that both he and his son have to sign off to close it out unless there was some sort of special circumstances that never happened. Dude owed another $10k because of course his son isn't going to sign off on closing it out if he can run up the balance again. He says he is going to sue. I point him in the direction of someone more qualified than me. My manager tells me he has a good case and will probably beat our corporate bank in court. I'm just a teller. Some days it's good to be on the bottom. Glad it wasn't me that messed it up.
The Cost Of Being Lazy
I used to work at Popeye's, this fried chicken chain. It sucked and I eventually quit. A week after I quit the night crew decided they didn't feel like putting the boxes away from a truck shipment. Someone could deal with it next day. Few days later, and several reports of food poisoning later, they got in a load of trouble. Boxes were full of raw chicken. So glad I quit.
Car-ry On My Wayward Son
Couple of years ago, we had a new supervisor directly from corporate. He got a promotion and moved from another city
He was a complete jerk, micro managment nightmare, arrogant, etc,etc. But someone up the corporate ladder really liked the guy, so he had full support from the bosses.
Then in his first month of work his company car was stolen, it was insured so no big deal. A week later his replacement car was stolen again and a third car two weeks later. Turns out the guy had a trouble with alcohol, he got really drunk and left the car open, on the street and he just forget about it.
He wasn't fired, he was just moved to a desk job with no company car.
This Will Teach Ya
I used to work in a grocery store and I had an HR person repeatedly "lose" my doctor's note stating that I have Reynaud's Syndrome and couldn't be in the freezer. I got a stack of them from the doc and would have to bring in a new one every few weeks. Finally, I had a department head fax a copy in to corporate for me before dropping off yet another copy to HR B*tch. The next week the HR b*tch called me into her office and told me I was going to have to put the frozen load for bakery away.
I told her I couldn't do it and I had a note on file. She told me she didn't have any paperwork on file for me and that she could "make me do anything she wanted to." I called my department manager into the office and told him what she had said. He got corporate on the phone and asked if they had received the copy of my doctors note detailing the fact that I had Reynaud's Syndrome and had already previously gotten frostbite at work from being forced to be in the freezer when I wasn't supposed to be.
They said they had it, and he then told them what HR B*tch had said. He then handed HR B*tch the phone. She had to hold the phone about a foot and a half away from her face because they were yelling at her so loud. It was one of the most satisfying days ever working there. She went on leave shortly after that and never came back, and the official story was that she was having health problems.
Big Mix Up
Worked in a single story cinder block office with parking spaces out front. There was a big window that overlooked the parking lot. We had an older engineer (early 70s) that worked there. He pulled up one morning in his parking spot and must have gotten the brakes and the gas confused. He drove the car right through the window, taking out some of the wall with it. I can still remember seeing him gripping the steering window with this terrified look in his eyes while he kept slamming on the gas. The car must have gotten stuck on something because it would just lurch forward and the engine would rev. Luckily he didn't kill anyone. He retired soon after that.
How Can You Keep With The Same Mistake?
My coworker sold someone an auto insurance policy but forgot to check the effective date. Turns out she had pushed the start date of the policy out a month. Guy got into an accident a few days later. Cumulatively, we probably spent 10+ hours on the phone trying to get claims to cover this guy's accident.
She ended up messing up the effective date on about 10 other policies before she left.
Someone In The Government Is A Giant Jerkface
I'm a welfare caseworker. A few months ago I got a call from a client wondering what was going on with her case.... Read the case comments and found that one of my more intellectual coworkers shut down this case and assessed a FIVE YEAR overpayment on this client for her cash aid (basically saying that all the aid she had ever received was fraudulent and she needed to pay it all back). Her reasoning? There was a glitch in the system that made this woman's child show as a resident in a different county.
Rather than following established protocol and calling this woman, or ordering a fraud investigation from our literal unit of full time investigators, or anything else that would make sense, she went out of her way to make this woman's life hard.
For the record, I called the other county and the worker I spoke with confirmed that the child was no longer a resident, his father had reported to them that the family was moving to our county 5 years ago, and they'd been trying, unsuccessfully, to update his county residence ever since.
Because I caught the phone call, I had to un-f*ck the case and close out the overpayment.
Goodbye, Jerkface!
GiphySurgeon was a notorious *sshole to colleagues but had been getting away with it for years. One day he was doing a minor surgery on a lightly sedated (mostly awake) patient and said some horrible things directly to the patient. And the patient remembered it.
He contested his firing, and the hospital had to go through an arbitration process, but all the other staff in the room corroborated the patient's story and testified against him. And now he's gone.
And he deserved to be gone a long time ago.
Ain't No Party Like A Sexist Party
I got promoted. New guy who'd been there a month (Id been there a year) threw a sexist fit that I was promoted instead of him. His fit took the form of walking to the back door and slamming it open so hard the automatic closer ripped clean out of the metal door. I was the MOD for that shift and terrified. I sent him on break, called my boss, explained the situation. He was gone the next day.
Not All Doctors
I'm a medical device rep - One time a Surgeon decided to just rip/peel a particular organ off/out of a person rather than take the 15mins it usually takes to properly cut and coax it off/out. This routine procedure ended up taking nearly 3 hours because he could not stop the bleeding. It got a little awkward. C's get degrees people. Not every surgeon is world class. I know who I wouldn't let operate on me and my loved ones, that's for sure.
Another time I saw an anesthesiologist elevate a surgical table mid procedure without paying attention to the mayo stand hovering over the table. The surgical table knocked the mayo stand over and it all came crashing down. Multiple glass scopes were broken and all new instrumentation had to be wheeled in etc.... it sounded like someone kicked over a crash symbol from a drum set. Those laparoscopes are like $7k a piece...
Way Out Of Line
A manager was operating a hi-rail vehicle on the mainline and rear ended another vehicle.
- He was not qualified on the vehicle.
- He was not expected to operate said vehicle.
- He was travelling more than 25 mph over the limit.
- He shortened the truck by 6 inches.
- It wan't reported to control (me) until 2 hours after the incident.
Racism Doesn't Rock
GiphyWorking at a company of about 5000 people and one day, we all get a message from some guy named Ming Wong saying "Hi, I can't remember the password to my timesheet software. Can anyone help me reset it?"
Then, a few minutes later, he replied to himself with "Oh no! Sorry, I didn't mean to send that to everyone."
It would have been just your standard accidental reply-all except then we got a third email. This one was from some guy who was trying to forward it to his friend, but also mistakenly replied to the entire company with "lol ching chong bing bong. Ming Wong send email wrong". Both him and the intended recipient were fired immediately.
Refined, But Unrefined
Was working at a refinery one time and a new unit was being built. Someone bumped the insulation of a large distillation column with a lift. There was only a small dent but the whole section had to be replaced. $30,000 later the person that bumped it was looking for a new job.
Your Uppance Came
In high school I worked at Babbages. Our manager claimed one of the employees was stealing stuff and fired him as a scapegoat after a regional manager said we had a lot of missing stock. Fired employee knew the manager was actually stealing and reported him to the regional manager. RM and police made a surprise visit and inspected manager's car. Found over 100 Dreamcast, PC, and N64 games in his back seat through the back window. He got fired and arrested on the spot. I was working that day.
Whenever we go out to eat, be it at a fine dining establishment or a quick service window, some of us tend to wonder what the journey was for the food that we are looking at on our plates or in our take-out bags.
Many have similar thoughts when buying frozen or pre-packaged dinners at supermarkets.
The answers aren't always readily available, often because the food service industry will go to great lengths to keep them under lock and key. Well aware, most of the time, that current or former employees will spill the beans at one point or another.
Redditor Lilyxrx was curious to hear some of the most well guarded secrets of the food industry, leading them to ask:
"What’s a secret the food industry don’t want you to know?"
Next Time Your Craving Bananas Foster...
"The 'natural flavors' are just big jugs of glycerin with hyper concentrated flavoring in it."
"Banana flavoring is fairly flammable."
"Source: Worked in food manufacturing."- irony_in_the_UK·
Cholesterol Be Darned!
"Chef here."
"It’s salt and fat."
"If you have a question about anything it’s salt and fat."- LongRest
For Efficiency's Sake...
"Olive Garden makes all their necessary pastas for the whole day from 8-10am every morning."
"Partially cooked."
"So when an order comes through, they grab a serving of the needed pasta style and flash cook them in hot water."
"Also, it’s just the brand, Barilla."- Deerhunter86
Justin Bieber Food GIFGiphyBefore You Pay The Extra Money...
"Beekeeper checking in."
"There is no such thing as organic honey."
"I do not treat my bees with chemicals, but I have no idea where they get their nectar."
"A bee can fly up to three miles from a hive to get nectar."
"It is virtually impossible to guarantee they have not gotten nectar from a chemically treated source."- toad__warrior·
If You Ever Wonder What Makes It Taste So Good...
"Unless it’s a health conscious food joint you’re eating at, the food we serve is designed for maximum taste."
"It’s either dense with fat and sugar, or fat and salt "
"E.G. Those mashed potatoes you like?"
"Made with cream, butter, and salt."
"The quiche?"
"Made on cream, not milk."
"Etc, etc."- petuniasweetpea
Before You Start Bragging...
"Dragon fruit isn’t an exotic Asian fruit."
"It’s a cactus fruit, and as such are native to the Americas and can even be grown in the US."- ferretmonkey
dragon fruit GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphyIn Case You're Wondering why That Taste Is So Familiar...
"A lot of the processed cheese and cream cheese is all the same recipe we just switch the labels and packaging for the different brands we run."
"Source: I work in a cheese factory in a company that services 75% of America's domestic market."- anon5678903276
Another Reason To Have No Guilt Over Take Out...
"Well."
"I work at Dominos, and we are kept afloat by the people who don't coupon and pay full menu price."
"You people are the unsung heroes of labor."- LoweeLL
Unlike Any Chocolate...
"When I worked at a mass production bakery the chocolate for the chocolate covered doughnuts came in giant frozen blocks of 4x4 pieces and contained no actual chocolate what so over."
"When unfrozen it was like some sort of nasty smelling paraffin wax that I would break up with a hammer and place into a melter that would then pour over the doughnuts."- gil_beard
Chocolate Dessert GIF by HuffPostGiphyWhat Do Orange Juice And Whiskey Have In Common?
"The reason orange juice tastes consistently the same year round, even though it's a crop harvested once a year, is because citrus oils and citrus flavor are added back to different batches and blended all together."
"Similar to how whiskey is blended from multiple barrels to make it consistent."
"The difference is that even though extra stuff is added back into the OJ, it doesn't need to be labeled because the flavors contain all ingredients from oranges (FTNF-from the named fruit) so the FDA doesn't mandate labeling additional ingredients."- PensiveDoughnut
Does That Explain Their Shape?
"Pringles (and baked Lays/similar) are made of rehydrated and compressed rejected/excess parts of potatoes that go into regular chips."
"I learned that from my dietician at work and thought that was odd."
"I still like them over regular chips."- bluesasaurusrex
A Secret Better Not Known...
"The 11 herbs and spices secret recipe."- NemoTheOneTrueGod
Food Pouring GIF by Great Big StoryGiphyJust Pop It In The Fryer...
"I was a young lad working at Church's Fried Chicken during the summer, many years ago."
"The owner refused to throw out chicken that had already gone bad; to the point where you'd gag if you smell them."
"Apparently if you batter them bad boys up and deep fry them, the rancid smell goes away."
"His customers never knew they were eating spoiled chicken."- Dirt_E_Harry·
Sweet... But Safe!
"The amount of sugar that goes into Costco bakery products is absurd, especially the apple pie."
"That being said; Costco does not f*ck around when it comes to food safety."
"Every area that is responsible for producing food is most likely cleaner than a white room for producing computer parts."
"There are virtually zero roaches, we found one in the bakery once and shut it down until the exterminator did his thing that very night."
"Someone returned a package of dinner rolls because their child had bit into one and a sharp piece of metal was in it, within less than 2 minutes every manager in the building was doing an investigation that led all the way up to the regional manager and his boss for several hours and determined that it had come off of a piece of machinery before it reached our location."
"We throw away rotisserie chickens if they have left (even for a few minutes) the shelf and someone tries to put it back."- Deathnachos
Costco GIF by hero0fwarGiphyWe'd like to think that everyone who works in the food industry shares the same high standards.
But, as in any industry, there are those out there who will cut corners for speedier results.
On the bright side, it does save you the trouble when deciding what cream cheese to buy...
Loopholes are everywhere.
But finding them can be time-consuming.
Or they can be a straight-up accident.
Sometimes corporations don't even realize the ways they've given out great deals.
In the early days of the internet, scheming for loopholes was a favorite pastime, but companies caught on.
They're still out there though, just waiting to be discovered.
Redditor Aarunascut wanted to discuss the best "deals" they've stumbled upon and utilized, so they asked:
"What was a loophole that you found and exploited the hell out of?"
I love a good loophole.
I would always use the free gym trial memberships.
They've caught on now by using better tracking.
Alas...
Rinse & Repeat
coins GIFGiphy"You used to be able to order dollar coins from the mint."
"Pay for it on your credit card, free delivery."
"Get sky miles."
"Take dollar coins to the bank, deposit, and pay off bills."
"Repeat."
AMLT1983
I Love Pizza
"I run a recycling center and when Mountain Dew did the win an Xbox One with codes under the soda bottle caps we got a total of 20 Xbox ones. Every worker got one that year. Also, Casey’s Pizza had a thing going that you collected 10 tabs off the large pizza box you’d get a free pizza. We had free pizzas weekly for years till they stopped doing it."
Otis_Firefly
Her Code
"During my first year teaching, teachers were each allowed 1500 photocopies a month. I had 150 students. That wasn't enough. One day, a coworker announced that she was leaving for a different opportunity. I asked her for her copier code. They never deleted her code, so I had 3000 copies per month for the last 5 months of the school year."
driveonacid
Sacagawea
"Older vending machines like the ones in my high school and car wash used to take golden dollars (yes, the Sacagawea coin), count them as a dollar and then spit them back out. You could buy the whole machine with one golden dollar. My friends and I exploited this for 7 months senior year until they swapped all of the machines out."
MapUnitKey
"Interestingly almost all of the US dollar coins ended up in Ecuador as they also use the US dollar. It was super weird but convenient as an American going there and I guess it really messed up their economy. I had always wondered where they disappeared to though. Major issues with counterfitting them too, any shiny one was basically useless even if it was real."
ember3pines
Coded
Girl Cheese GIF by Pizza HutGiphy"When Pizza Hut first started online ordering they gave me a code for a free pizza for ordering online for the first time. Turns out the code also worked if you just ordered as a guest and kept working."
Stone_Reign
I miss the Pizza Hut deal days.
Online coupons used to give away the whole company.
$1.50
Make It Rain Loop GIF by Chris TimmonsGiphy"My bank thinks the vending machine at work is an ATM and refunds my 'atm fee' automatically... Chase bank if anyone wondered. I noticed I was always getting like $1.50 returned to my account here and there and then I realized what it was."
homerinthebushes
Past Services
"Back in the 80s, we found vending machines that were not regularly serviced that would overflow the coin box and spill quarters on the floor. We used to scrape them out from under the machine with a stick. Was a good time to be a latchkey unattended minor."
weakplay
"Vending machines in college (Ireland early 2000s) had a flap at the bottom that was supposed to stop you reaching your arm up to steal. But it also had a sensor used to determine if had something been dispensed. So if you held it shut, the machine would think nothing had dropped and you could order as many things as you wanted, then refund your coins and release the flap."
BrianHenryIE
Senior Year
"My senior year of high school a Chick-fil-A opened in our town and to advertise the grand opening they put a free chicken sandwich coupon in the yellow pages of the phone book. No purchase, no stipulations. For whatever reason there were like 1,000 phone books stored in a storeroom off the gym. Me and my buddies ate a chicken sandwich damn near every single day of senior year."
Panther90
Switched with Michelle
"At a former job management rearranged the schedules to expand our call center hours from 7 am to 9 pm. It was still an 8-hour day, you just started later. We had a meeting to discuss if we could pick our own hours so employees didn’t run the risk of working until 9 pm then having to be back the next day at 7 am. Management gave us a hard no-on that. But we were allowed to swap with a co-worker."
"A few of us got together to review the monthly schedule and noticed that 5 people were in the rotation who hadn’t worked there for years. (Seriously!). So, whenever we had to work a late schedule that we didn’t want we 'switched with Michelle.' This went on for almost 2 years before management scrapped the whole idea."
Crazy_from_the_heat
The King
burger king GIFGiphy"Burger King used to have an app where you’d shake your phone and it would sometimes display a free item. A guy at work wrote his own app that looked identical to Burger King, but would only ever show a Whopper Meal. Every lunchtime he’d go to Burger King and get a free meal."
RedLeader7
I love a free meal.
Especially a free meal at any "cost!" LOL.