A relationship is a journey and also a foundation that people build together. A journey that often takes people through their own personal field of emotional landmines.
Those things can be really scary to navigate, as there is no telling when one can so easily explode. And fear not--explode they will.
How do we navigate a field of emotional landmines? By owning up to it.
u/paku26 asked:
Reddit, what's your biggest fear when entering a relationship?
Here were some of those answers.
Emotional Neglect
That they don't like me back, even if it is only a platonic relationship. I worry every day that my friends only hang out with me because they feel bad for me. If I don't get enough attention in a relationship then I start to panic and wonder if it's one-sided.
A Different Kind Of Me
That they'll meet someone better than me. It's happened far too often and I don't know if I could ever not have that thought in the back of my mind.
Dividing Day
A sharp, sudden change in demeanor or attitude toward me, making me feel like I did something wrong.
I dated someone who is type-1 bipolar and for the first few months she was so fun, was enthusiastic, caring, good natured, selfless, etc...and suddenly she became withdrawn, wouldn't look at me, wouldn't smile or have anything to say. It destroyed me because I thought it was all my fault. Now I've learned not to own it personally, but it still hurts when someone's attitude changes toward you for no discernible reason.
No More Interest
That the tiny things that the other person does, the weird habits which you don't understand, which seem adorable or quirky initially, might start grating on you over time.
That you'll run out of things to say one day and you will not not want to know how their day went or what they're up to.
Going out on dates will just be a formality because it is a familiar and convenient ritual, and you have adjusted to it now even though you don't care about meeting.
One Day, Poof
I lost my partner 2 weeks ago. He was 36. Just went to sleep and never woke up. No idea why. The post mortem results won't be ready until after Christmas.
So I'm going to go with the fear of losing them unexpectedly.
Seeing Through The Fog
That they'll realise I'm not really that great once they really get to know me, or that they were bonked on the head and eventually will get their brains unscrambled and run for the hills.
I've got some unkind thoughts about myself thanks to abuse that I'm still working through, years later.
Strong Feels
That I'll smother someone in affection and it'll turn them off from me. I've always felt emotions strongly, and sometimes I have to reign it back, but I worry that I'll fall for someone hard and they won't have the same reaction.
Intimacy Fears
I worry that I've already met and lost the love of my life (which is something I didn't believe in before I met her). I worry that I'll never value any relationship enough as it will always feel like a consolation prize and that whoever I'm with will sense that and it will tear us apart. I crave intimacy like any human being but fear it will cause too much pain for everyone involved.
Every Day
At first I feared growing apart. But then I learned to adapt and adjust to the changes without losing the connection with my loved one.
People tend to grow apart in relationships. Long term relationships are always under assault by people who want to take your partner away from you or vice versa.
They wait on the sidelines and will seize on any sign of weakness in your relationship. "Ignoring your wife? Well, golly gee whiz, do I have a solution for her!"
The best advice to avoid losing your partner to someone else's affection is to avoid taking them for granted.
If you want a long term relationship? Let them know you love them every day and show it in how you act toward them.
Every. Single. Day.
To Be Vulnerable
The biggest one of all, the idea of being so comfortable with someone that you could open up and show all of the skeletons in your closet, all of the fears and doubts.
And one day, maybe not now, maybe not later, maybe never, that information could be used to hurt you in a way that could never happen by chance.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
Strangers on the internet shared their amateur culinary wisdom when Redditor SandandS0n asked:
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
– Arcinbiblo12
Noodling Around
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
noodles ramen GIF by HUANG'S WORLDGiphyDon't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
– ambernoodle
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
– KeengPeach
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
– IgnoreMe733
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
– saluki352
Nature's Candy
"Fruit."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
– essa618
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
– johndavidcard
Thanks, Nonna!
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
"Grazie nonna"
– Xelorath
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?