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Jobs That Seem Easy But Are Actually Incredibly Challenging

People Explain What Career They'd Choose If A $400k Salary Was Guaranteed

People Explain What Career They'd Choose If A $400k Salary Was Guaranteed
Ramy/Unsplash

Have you ever wondered what job people would pick if they knew they'd be financially stable?

Not rich; we're not talking "retire-in-luxury to Buenos Aires" level coin; just comfortable and with growth potential if you're smart about things.

If any job in the world put you at the precipice of stability - what would you *choose* to do?

Reddit user "talldmbfan" asked:

"If you got to pick any career/job and earned $400,000 no matter what, what career/job would you pick?"

Ya know ... a $400k salary sounds like it could be a few smart money choices away from the very serious business of picking just the right pun for my new boat's name or whatever it is rich people do with their time. So let's start there.

What WOULD Reddit do for work if people actually got to choose? Let's find out.

Ranger Danger

National Park California GIF by Ovation TV Giphy

"Park ranger. Specifically at Banff National Park."

- Freshrendar

"Yeah, I was thinking the same. However, it’s becoming an increasingly dangerous job these days I have heard."

"One the one hand maybe it's just misbehaved tourists who are becoming increasingly obnoxious, and on the other hand hardened, armed criminals trying to do their business in private."

- Th3_accountant

"Criminals like hiding in National Parks, feeding themselves by spotlighting game (whatever they can shoot they will shoot) and using gill nets to catch dozens and dozens of fish."

"Each ranger has a LOT of area to keep under control, it’s not unheard of to pull over a truck and 5+ guys come out, fully armed and it’s just you by yourself until backup arrives."

- NE55IN

"Former Ranger here. The job and positions of a Park Ranger vary widely."

"It does have its perks and I really liked it, but it also sucks in ways and has big drawbacks. Humans are the worst animal to have to manage."

- TahoeClown

Effort And Criticism

sacha baron cohen hotel GIF Giphy

"USD 400,000 per year, right? I’d say be a hotel / resort critic."

"That way I get to travel, stay comfortably & get paid for a rather (seemingly) low effort gig."

- PuneriPerson

"I've been in travel positions before, it's pretty fun for a bit but as 'spoiled' as it sounds, hotel and restaurant living get tiring after a while."

"Sometimes it's better to just come home to your loved ones or pet or whatever."

"I did that while I was single. I don't have kids, but I can't imagine being in that type of role when you do."

"Being away from them plus putting the entire burden of raising children on your spouse? Not for me."

- peon2

"I met a girl several months ago who is a travel journalist and gets paid to do this very thing!"

"While I do get envious of all her comped trips (since I met her several months ago she’s been on fully paid trips to Oaxaca, Curaçao, a couple of luxury Caribbean cruises and had to turn down a trip to the German Christmas markets) I get the impression her job is a lot more stressful than we’d all imagine."

"She says pretty much every minute of each trip is filled with activities she’s expected to write about with very little down time."

"She’s lived all over the world with her job but also never really put down any roots, so that’s a downside. Even so - I enjoy living vicariously through her travels!"

- Fuzzy-Donkey5538

Let's Go Lego

Awesome The Lego Movie GIF by Trolli Giphy

"Lego set designer"

- JustStargazin

"A LEGOland near me just posted a position for a master builder and i was like 'f*ck yeah!' ..."

"except that it pays $12/hour."

- checkoutmyfish

"Yeees! This has been my dream job since I was a kid. Only reason I’ve never pursued it is because it doesnt pay well."

- bigtdgf

"I didn’t even think of that!"

"My cousin and I love legos soooo much, I have that Disney castle set and we are constantly making the most random things. If I became the top set designer, there would be a lot more weird sets lol"

- The_controler

Helping Hoarders

khj GIF Giphy

"The same business I have now. I help the elderly and hoarders organize their homes. I quite a job that payed well and to do this and it is so rewarding."

"A simple tip: To maintain control over a hobby/collectables, designate a space for it. If it overflows that space, it is time to rethink the activity."

"It may mean finding a bigger space, or looking for outdated or unused items for that hobby. This helps to maintain control and keep the hobby from taking over."

- bsmknight

"This one sparks joy!"

- Zebracakes2009

"I’d love to know more about this. I worry I’m a hoarder sometimes."

- DarkAndSparkly

"I am not a psychologist so please take this with a grain of salt, but from my experience the term hoarder is often misused. Hopefully this will be helpful to you!"

"I have helped people who have ranged from perfectly normal to people with head trauma. Yes, they can all be categorized as different levels of hoarding, but I try and focus on the reason why they hoard, rather than the term itself."

"Customer 1: was a lady whose house was just a mess. Not disgusting, just nothing was organized. She had a lot going on and was feeling very overwhelmed and her place was taking a turn for the worst."

"She was a bit ashamed and kept indicating how she was a hoarder."

"In the end, over several sessions we cleared out the garage, the living room, the bedrooms, the dining room and never once did she hesitate to throw something away. She wasn't a hoarder, she was overwhelmed. So this was solely situational."

"Customer 2: Another lady, good friend of mine too, very much fit the typical hoarding situation. In her case she was just really bad at putting things away and thus everything ended up, everywhere."

"She still has this problem, but as long as I come over from time to time, stuff gets put away. She has been really good at throwing away or donating items, but she needs someone to sit down with her to help motivate her."

"Customer 3: A gentleman who was my inspiration to get into this business is probably the closest to the true nature of a hoarder."

"He received a blow to the head many years ago due to an accident. Because of that he has had difficulty staying on track. He looses focus frequently and thus things fall to the wayside."

"I go over from time to time to help him clean up. I will make him return stuff he buys when he really does not need it, because he easily becomes distracted. He forgets to return it or that he even bought it."

"I can get him to get rid of stuff, it just takes a good deal of prodding and coaxing."

"In the end, With all my customers I tell them to stop focusing on the negative. Don't worry if your a hoarder, rather spend that mental energy on what you can do to move forward."

"Tip: if you need an idea for a first step, Listen to a podcast or you tube video on organizing."

- bsmknight

A Place For Passion

Nervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+ Giphy

"I’d want to own studio space where people could take classes, not just art or dancing but also like general hobbies to knitting, sculpting, writing, photography."

"I want to help people find a passion and explore it. And I’d be able to support others by paying them to teach their own passion."

- resigned-unicorn

"Look into maker spaces or hacker spaces. That literally exactly what they are!"

"I've seen them have facilities and classes ranging from running a cnc machine to beer brewing to programming."

"Membership is typically expensive (50-200 a month) but most give discounts or free membership for teaching classes.
Keep in mind I don't know if they are running with covid."

- vrek86

"There's a place near me called Handmade Toledo that does this!"

"The front of the building is a storefront where local artists, makers, and crafters can sell their stuff (anything from t-shirts and cards to candles and soaps, including snarky greeting cards and patches)."

"The back of the building is an events space where they have classes a few times a week, and a big event once or twice a year where more artisans come and sell their stuff."

- RagingAardvark

Dungeons, Dragons, And Daycare?

how to train your dragon smile GIF Giphy

"I would run Dungeons and Dragons campaigns for k-6 graders to teach them about problem solving and conflict negotiation."

- snailsshouldvote

"I use D&D to teach conversation strategies and cross-cultural communication to Japanese university students and it’s f*cking great."

- Lord_Dimwit_Flathead

"I think every pre-school/lower school should hire you, this is a fantastic idea to implement those values while having fun!"

- OsamaBinnDabbin

"One of our friends runs dnd campaigns for kids as a way for them to work through their trauma."

"I don't know all the ins and outs, but it seems to help them. My husband has a 3D printer so he prints their mini figs for them."

- NurseMcStuffins

OK Go Away Now

Season 5 April GIF by Parks and Recreation Giphy

"Reclusive writer"

"I’d like people to enjoy my work, but otherwise forget about me and leave me alone."

"I went to a lecture given by Andy Weir once and he said that writing is a great way to be famous because you’re famous for a few weeks when they make a movie out of your book and you get invited to parties and stuff and it’s a lot of fun, but then you get to go back to civilian life rather quickly because everyone forgets about you pretty fast."

"So you get a taste of the celebrity life every now and then but you’re not stuck in the spotlight all the time like someone in the film or music industries."

- Plantayne

"I second this! Reclusive writer would seriously be an awesome job to have and make $400,000 doing."

- DemonikKitten

"A mysterious person that everybody knows by what you do; but whose identity is unknown because all you put are your initials, rather than your full name? Before you know it, you're both the most famous yet unknown person that everybody is talking about."

"I'm in."

- BeltEuphoric

Here Kitty Kitty

cat lady cats GIF Giphy

"Cat rescue and rehabilitation. I do it for free when I can, so it would be awesome to be paid for it and have actual resources."

- toxinogen

"My family used to do this as well and it was so much fun growing up with up to a dozen cats in a town house at a time."

- amtapp

"Had a friend who co-owned a rescue. It’s good work but man was there so much drama from cat people. Half of her energy was spent managing different crazy personalities who volunteered."

"She ended up stepping down to a smaller role and opening a cat cafe."

- bell37

These Actors Were Perfectly Cast In Their Roles | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Sometimes an actor comes along that is able to reach the audience on a deeper level. The actor that immediately comes to mind is Robin Williams. Although it ...

Masters With No Money

shocked oh my GIF Giphy

"Librarian. Let me teach all about and facilitate the free borrowing of books while arranging events and services that help bind and strengthen the community."

"I would do it if librarian pay could support even myself decently. A lot of public service jobs (like librarians and teachers amongst others) do not pay very well and it can be hard to support yourself on such a salary, let alone a family if you want to have one."

"Still, if the issue of being able to live on the salary is taken out of the equation, I would choose to be a librarian every time."

- AnotherBookWyrm

"Oh man, my mom was a librarian and it is a real calling for some and I so love and respect that."

"Librarians are amazing!!!!"

- rcher87


"This was absolutely my first thought as well."

"I was halfway to a master's degree in library science when I did several shadow sessions. Everyone I talked to had gone to school for library science and was working part time shelving books and waiting for a librarian position to open up. Unless I was willing to move, it really didn't seem like a good option."

- elletastic

"It's a profession where the expectation is to have a masters degree and the pay scale for the vast majority of positions does not reflect that."

"I AM a librarian and it would still be my answer for this thread, but you'll often get that because you have to want to do this job to do it for the kinds of pay you can expect."

"I'm just lucky I'm in an academic position rather than public as that tends to set the starting pay a bit higher."

- WalkingTarget

What's Up, Wonka?

Animated GIF Giphy

"Ice cream truck driver, but everything is $1 or less. Or maybe running a candy shop."

"While I’m at my mentally draining job, I dream of just being able to make people smile, but I just can’t afford to live on the money that provides."

- fraxiiinus

"There was this man who had an ice-cream truck that went around my neighborhood (I lived near a small park) and he was so nice. He couldn’t speak English well, but he just radiated a warmth around him that can never be bought or sold."

- Closet_Couch_Potato

You know what Reddit would do, but what about you? If you had enough money to be comfortable, what job would you happily get up and go do?

Is there a job you wouldn't do even if someone offered you a $400k salary?

What's your labor worth? Let's talk about it, fam.

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career

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Reddit user anonymiss0018 asked: 'What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?'

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

therapy

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty

Products That Customers Don't Realize Have A Really High Mark Up

two filled drinking glasses with beverages
Photo by Monika Grabkowska on Unsplash

When I was in high school, my friends and I went to a pizza place after school nearly every day. In addition to a slice of pizza, we would each buy a soda. The place offered free refills (this was back when not all places did this), and we thought it was really cool. However, I used to wonder why they would do this. Wouldn't it be more profitable to them if they forced us to buy a second drink?

Four years later, I began working in a restaurant and learned that more often than not, the cups we gave out for soda cost more than the syrup that went in the drink. The restaurant offered us free food on days we worked, but we couldn't get drinks for free unless we brought our own cups.

This was shocking to me and put free refills into a whole new perspective. We could sell the soda for more than it cost to make, but no one would buy a soda if we tried to sell it for more than the cup cost. It would cost us less to allow customers to refill the same cup for free than it would be to give or even sell them another cup because it would cost the business a lot to replace each cup.

Soda cups aren't the only things that have a high mark up price, and they're not the only products people were surprised to find had a high mark up. Redditors know of lots of products that they were surprised to find out has a high mark up and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor petrastales asked:

"What product unbeknownst to most people has the highest mark up?"

​Equality Doesn't Exist

"Back in the early 2000’s I was managing a restaurant - garlic bread was selling for 3.95 and cost 0.07 to make. Not all food items are equal when it comes to margins!"

– leyland_gaunt

"I came here specifically to mention pizza. The profit margins on pizza are nuts, you have to suck at making it to not stay open."

– DreadedChalupacabra

"Yeah, it drives me nuts when you can request add-ons, but it's like $3 for a few pieces of camembert, or $2 for some chopped tomato, when it probably cost $5 for an entire 1kg bag of tomatoes."

– Writerhowell

How Cheesy

"Yeah and like 1.50 of that pizza was the cheese."

"Cheese is the most expensive part of a pizza assuming youre not doing some weird specialty stuff."

– Doomstik

"Can confirm. Worked at a pizza place. An incompetent employee was supposed to fluff a box of cheese but dropped it on the ground by accident. the owner was there. I swear I saw him shed a tear because that box was $120 of pure uncut shredded mozzarella and that was supposed to become like $1,000 in pizzas."

– PM_Sexy_Catgirls_Meo

That's Nuts!

"Yeah I worked at a place that did charcuterie, I apologized to the chef for munching out on the fancy olives all night. He said he didn't give a damn, as long as it kept my hands off the roasted cashews. Big jar of olives was like 15 bucks, the equivalent of cashews was like 200 bucks."

– hudson27

Bamboozled

"Reminds me of the never-ending pasta at Olive Garden. Pasta is dirt cheap and incredibly filling. The chances of you eating enough that it's actually a good deal for you is very slim."

– IBJON

"When I was working at a chain pizza restaurant, the storage manager wanted to get pasta on the menu, because of the profit margins. It's crazy because it cost us $2.10 to make a 17 inch pizza, and we sold them for $14."

– fukreddit73264

Not Worth It

"Flavored seltzers at a brewery. The beer costs 10x as much to make, but they charge almost the same at the tap."

– LocoCracka

"I have a buddy who made seltzers at a brewery in the Bay Area. Some malt liquor, very little flavoring, and a ton of soda water."

"Couldn’t make a cheaper adult beverage if you tried."

– Ikarus_Zer0

Ma, I Can't See!

"Glasses."

"Luxottica owns most major eye wear stores, costs them a few dollars to make and you pay hundreds for them."

– godnrop

"My cousin taught English in China after college in the early 2000s, apparently they had machines in malls where you could look into a pair of holes, do a vision test, get a prescription, and have a pair of glasses automatically ground for you in like 2 minutes for about $5, and the only reason we don't have that in the US is regulations."

"I travel to China frequently for work. I just take the USA prescription for family and friends and they have them made in about an hour or less. Family and friends give me an idea of frames they like and they pop the prescription lenses in. I pay about USD40 for the top-grade lens material that is antifog and anti-scratch."

– i3f8j

"I don’t really object to paying $50 for an eye exam, I object to paying $300 for a pair of frames. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to take the prescription the optometrist gives you, enter the numbers into the machine, and get the same $5 glasses."

– river4823

​Message Received

"Back in the day, text messaging."

– alien109

"That's why I left T-Mobile in 2005. They were charging me for incoming texts but offered no way for me to block them. So basically, someone else had control of my bill."

– CGYOMH

"I remember being young, spending the $20 I worked so hard for so I could get minutes, only for a friend with unlimited minutes to spam me with a few texts and take it all away. What an upsetting time."

– Boopcheese

Ice Ice Baby

"Soft drinks in pubs. Especially the ones from “the tap”. Costs pennies and they charge £3 for a pint of it. Probably the biggest earner in a pub."

– lucky_1979

"Especially when they just cram a glass with ice and then lightly moisten it with the actual drink you ordered."

– jamesmowry

"My work just came out with a policy that we need to completely fill the glass with ice because it "keeps the drink colder for longer".. eyeroll."

– metalbridgebuilder

"The nuts and bolts section at your local big box hardware store is the highest markup isle. 500% or more. If you need more than a few bolts, go shopping at a proper hardware supplier."

– SatanLifeProTips

"Whenever I go through one of these aisles and look at the price for a single bolt or screw, I look at the overall assortment and think: There must be tens of thousands of dollars just for the shelf-price of fasteners I see right here in this aisle alone."

"The markup is crazy, but why do I want to buy a box of 100 screws if I only need two?"

– lemming_follower

Second To One

"The second-cheapest bottle of wine on the menu."

– slocki

"In order to not look cheap, many people will buy the 2nd cheapest item on the menu."

– AprilsMostAmazing

"Wine in restaurants in general. The markup on wine is wild. My boss used to get whatever was “on sale” from the distributor and usually pay $3-4 a bottle and sell it at $10 a glass."

– she_shoots

Pour Some Sugar On Me

"Candy floss / cotton candy. £4.99 for legitimately 10p worth of sugar."

– Tylervdub

"I used to work food service at an amusement park for a summer job."

"A manager told us that the cost of making a bag of cotton candy, including ingredients, labor, etc., was 19 cents...we sold it for $3."

– etm105

Look, Don't Drive

"Those button batteries in store."

"They know you need one asap cause your car won’t unlock so you are stuck."

"Wait 1 day and you can get a dozen from Amazon for same price."

– kindrudekid

Medical Supplies

"As a Diabetic I'm pretty sure it's Insulin."

– PraiseThePun81

"Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this."

"I spend over $13k annually on ‘good’ insurance that doesn’t cover half of the things I need as a diabetic. I spend half that again on the insulin and supplies. It’s a racket."

– Nosce_Temet

H2O

"Water."

– ganic-Lie4759

"Bottled water is so highly marked up as to qualify as a scam."

"At no extra cost aside from the bottle (I don’t have a water meter) my water is completely free. It tastes as good or better than bottled."

– 6033624

I didn't know about any of this!

I can hear my wallet crying.

high mark up