Love is a tricky mistress.
Especially when you have a mistress.
Making that choice to be with someone forever is not a game.
That is why you have a preparation period.
The engagement?
That is the time when things get real.
Redditor qquackiewanted to hear about the times when people knew "goodbye" was the right answer. They asked:
"Redditors who broke up with their fiancés, what made you go from wanting to spend the rest of your life with them to not wanting to be with them at all?"
I have never been engaged. I hear it's a hoot. Until it's not...
HIM
Peace Out Goodbye GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"He relapsed on drugs and then told me all of our relationship problems were my mental health."
User Deleted
Naked
"Caught her butt naked with some random dude when we were supposed to meet up at a friend's home for a get together and I caught her in the spare bedroom while everyone else was hanging out and drinking, queue floodgates and find out she cheated on me up to double digit times and all the people at that friends get together knew she cheated on me often. Cut off all my friends and traumatized me for a long time but I’m better now."
PartyYoung8
“wait it out”
"He was my best friend and I really enjoyed our relationship. Honestly I hold no bad feelings for him. But he had a tendency to avoid communication when angry/sad/upset. At first it seemed like a minor problem I could adjust to but the passive aggressiveness and silent treatment(that he could manage for days on end) started to get to me."
"I felt like it was a form of control. He never accepted my apologies, never apologized himself, and would just 'wait it out' until he was ready to talk again. Then he’d just skip the fight and talk normal like it didn’t happen. So basically no issue we ever had was actually addressed and I was afraid to ever cause a confrontation because I knew it would be unresolved."
"It made me feel like I couldn’t fully trust him and the idea of doing that for life stopped be appealing."
milkvamp
Mind. Blown.
"I was engaged for a hot second when I was 19. I came home to find him doing another girl. I immediately moved out and then found out via facebook that the girl was 4 months pregnant with his baby. He proposed to me when his baby mama was 3 months pregnant and he knew she was pregnant with his kid. It just blows my mind lol."
is_this_funny2_u
Thief
julie newmar catwoman GIFGiphy"She decided her future was in a different country, took our savings with her."
RolandHockingAngling
Why is love so elusive? Why can't people be honest?
“what did you do today?”
Dog Talking GIFGiphy"She wouldn’t tell me where she was all day one day. And I’m not the controlling type. But she wouldn’t even answer an innocuous 'what did you do today?' question. By the time this all came to a head, it turned out she was on a date with another guy."
f0gax
Breakdown
"She went through a terrible, just truly terrible mental breakdown, leading to an eventual diagnosis. I did everything I could to keep her together, but it wasn't enough. At the end of it all I told her that I was going to stick it out, I'd do my best to work with her, but she HAD to listen to her doctors."
"She had to take all the advice she was given, she had to take her meds, she had to accept she had a mental illness and she had to deal with it. And she didn't. So when she lost her mind, for the umpteenth time, and told me to get out and not come back, I took her up on her offer."
"Some people call me an a**hole for that decision. But I'm not going to subject myself to 50 years of abuse and misery on behalf of someone who won't do the first thing to take care of themselves."
shaidyn
9 Days
"When I found out he saw me merely as a way to get into the US and as a meal ticket. Called off the wedding 9 days before it was supposed to happen. Best decision I ever made. More than a year later, he contacted me and attempted to blackmail me, not knowing I was by that time working as a defense contractor with a security clearance, which meant I had to report the attempt to the FBI, thus getting him AND his relatives in the US into serious trouble."
FlourChild1026
Alone
"I had a boyfriend while teaching abroad in Korea for a few years. We were planning to get married and he was going to come back to US with me. At the last second he told me he couldn’t do it and I came back alone. He’s great and I love him still but we just want different things for our future."
FredrickTheSeal
"gift for me"
Deadpool Venom GIF by MarvelGiphy"He spent an entire paycheck, MY paycheck, on Pop Figures. As a 'gift for me' when they were all his favorite characters. Took a hard look at how often this type of thing was happening and realized I didn't want to raise an adult baby."
TheTastySpoonicorn
When in Florida
"I caught him in two major lies as his mental health declined. He turned to alcohol and became verbally abusive. I told myself 'the next time it happens I’m out' and it did… at our friends wedding in Florida (I’m from Canada). The wedding party saw the fallout from the fight and a bridesmaid I met an hour earlier told me he cheated at the bachelor party months earlier."
"After seeing his abusive nature she decided that I needed to know the truth. The cherry on top was that the day he cheated was the day I bought my wedding dress. I know I dodged a major bullet but that’s the thing about emotional abuse. It’s insidious. Deep down you know it’s wrong but you also doubt whether you’re being a good partner and abandoning someone in need."
"I’ve moved on and am MUCH MUCH happier. I wake up everyday and am thankful it’s over. I’m almost done my PhD as well, so that’s lovely! Classic 'I went to sleep and this blew up overnight' but thank y’all so much for your kind words and awards. I hope you all have a beautiful day!"
disco_nap_
A Pariah
"I was going to be the black sheep of her very religious family for the rest of my life. I'm imperfect, but no more than most. I just don't believe what their family believed and even though I won her affections and spent years trying to earn trust with everyone; I was always going to be a pariah and it weighed too much on me."
Dangercakes13
Facing Life
"He broke the first engagement. We were very young and he broke it off because his friends didn't like me and convinced him to break up. We got back together a bit later and resumed the engagement like idiots. But with a new ring, cuz that made it better somehow."
"6 months later I broke it off because it dawned on me that if he's willing to dump me because his buddies don't like me, what's marriage or babies going to be like? My mom had told me once that love was rough when the money is tight and they turn the lights off, will you feel strong enough to get through it with them."
"I broke it off for good when I realized there's no way I saw him as my partner I wanted to face life with. When things got hard, he wasn't going to be anything but a child about it and I would be alone. He was engaged and married sometime later and ended up exactly as I thought. They divorced and he was remarried in a year, divorced in another 2 or 3. He was in love with the idea of being married , not actual marriage. Not a crazy drama story but that's it."
I-PUSH-THE-BUTTON
Just a Little
Audrey Whitby Reaction GIF by AwesomenessTVGiphy"He tapped my phone (landline) and put a tracker on my car, and spyware on my laptop. Oh, and cut my brakes. Just a little."
salmonsashimiplease
Dodged...
"I was fresh out of high school and just found out I was pregnant. Getting married seemed like a good next step until he became extremely abusive. Took me a while but I finally got away from him for good. He ended up going to prison for murder a few years later. Dodged a bullet with that one."
Nicoldhearted
Future Bleak
"We got together in our early 20s and engaged a few years later. I called it off when I realized we didn't share a vision for the future, and I wasn't willing to compromise or ask her to. Hurt like hell but I'm so glad I did it - I don't actually think I wanted to be with her forever, it just kind of happened before I knew I could shape my life and be happy There were lots of other reasons we wouldn't have worked, looking back. But that one was enough."
thefirstcoconut
True Colors
"He changed a lot after we were engaged, not pulling his weight financially or around the house. Put an offer on a house without even asking me that was about an hour away from where it made sense for us to live (my job, my family etc), not to mention I had never even seen the home before he made the offer."
"Told me that he didn’t want to have children ever (first time I was hearing of that in 3.5 years) because if we were to divorce he’d have to pay me child support. His true colors came out the last 3 months of our relationship for sure. Definitely dodged a huge bullet with that one!!"
steelergirly7
Oh Hell No
Hell GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"When I met their family. No way in hell was that going to be the rest of my life."
Negative_Increase975
Choose your regret...
"She changed in ways I didn’t like after I proposed. I brought it up on numerous occasions. She mocked me, denied it, and made lame excuses. I have one divorce under my belt already. I can’t go through that again. ETA: I’m eternally grateful this behavior shift happened after the proposal and not the wedding."'"
soggywaffle69
"OP, I’m guessing you’re asking because this is relevant in you’re life. No one here can help you figure it out, but there is a saying I like: 'Choose your regret.'"
soggywaffle69
Sometimes when it's over... it's over.
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Hatí
"Haití."
"At least not until some form of functioning government actually takes place."
"After the magnicide it's been nothing but a turf war between gangs better armed to than most small countries and everybody that could, aka, the rich, left the country due to the constant threat of getting kidnapped and all the violence that has been taking place."- logiqaltech
Russia, at least for now.
"Americans might wanna put that Russia vacation on hold for a lil bit."- flip_phone_phil
Salem, Massachusetts, in the fall...
"Salem around Halloween."
"I'm a local."
"It's a damn tourist trap."
"Nowhere to park and if you haven't booked all your reservations by February you're SOL."
"The summer is a 10x better time to visit Salem."
"For those asking, I am referring to Salem Massachusetts."- jlm2299
Happy Trick Or Treat GIF by DOMCAKEGiphyThe pyramids might be best seen in pictures...
"As an Egyptian I am definitely not looking forward to reading these replies."- d7oom175
"Egypt."
"The common folk are warm and welcoming and would give you the food off their table and clothes off their backs."
"But the cops, the scammers, the vendors, phew."
"It is one big tourist trap."- TwistedChopstick
"If you’re a woman, I’ve been told that Egypt is best avoided unless you have male friends or family that can safely escort you about in public."
"Otherwise, any country in an active war."- chibinoi
Unless you never want to leave your hotel.
"I took my wife to Jamaica for our honeymoon."
"We wound up in a resort in Montego bay."
"The resort was nice but began to feel like a prison."
"If you went out people would grab her by the wrist and drag her to some shack they were selling trinkets in."
"The locals that worked in the resort were fantastic."
"Best prison guards you can imagine."- jabsaw2112
"Jamaica."
"They actively tell people to stay on resort property because they can't protect tourists otherwise."- MrPuzzleMan
Maybe one day.
"Afghanistan."
"No question about it."- DatRobloxKid
If you can't take the heat...
"Phoenix in July."
"It’s a monument to man’s arrogance."- TacoDoc
Raising Arizona Movie GIFGiphyOf course, when choosing a vacation spot, one wants somewhere where they can relax, take in the sights, and escape from their current realities for a week or so.
So, traveling to somewhere where you're constantly on alert, your mind is constantly racing, and/or there's nothing to see... might not be the best choice.
Thankfully, be it near or small, there is always somewhere to fall back on.
My favorite endings for my shows? The list is long. But The Golden Girls & Buffy are up there.
Goodbye
Cbs Cheers GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Cheers."
atahualpaFX
"Sorry, we’re closed."
livefast6221
"Ok. So the end itself was good but in the final episode they never once said NORM and it just hurts me a little when I think about it."
Maleficent_Ad_7617
Onward Story
"Avatar, The Last Airbender."
Frosty_Connection867
"Love how they continued the story in The Search and The Promise comics though. I know there are more Avatar comics but I haven’t gotten around to reading those yet. Plus it was recently announced that Avatar Studios’ first project would be an animated movie about Aang and the others as young adults. We’ll probably be seeing him and Zuko build Republic City."
Flat_Weird_5398
Genius
"The Good Place."
diphappy
"I came to say the exact same thing - I absolutely adored this show and and while I’m sad it’s over I’m also so glad they ended it when they did instead of letting it go on for too long and ruining the show."
acrossthestreetinthe
"I was told over and over to 'just watch the show for the ending.' From lots of people. So I hesitantly did so, and was like 'Yeah this is okay, but not mind blowing or anything. It's cool.'
"But holy s**t. That ending is the best ending to a TV show that's ever been made, I think.Everyone was 100% right. It was worth it. It's hard to explain without watching the show. But they did it flawlessly.I think about that show's ending all the time."
appleparkfive
A Few Issues
"Star Trek: The Next Generation."
TheriousMind101
"I liked where they left it with Picard's development - but me and my partner recoiled in horror seeing Q appear. By far our worst part of the series, such an OTT obnoxious character, with lazy storytelling. Loved the series as a whole, but to have Q end it seemed like a punch in the gut. He seemed like growing pains of the first season but just had to come back lol."
glennok
Life is Over
Six Feet Under Drinking GIF by HBOGiphy"Six Feet Under is yet to be topped."
DarthDregan
"It really was such a great and satisfying ending."
beard_lover
I can't even think about Six Feet Under without tears.
Fresh
Season 2 Dancing GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy"Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The way the cast said good bye to each other in the empty mansion to how Will turns out the lights at the end of the episode. Just an amazing series."
Musicgeek117
This War is Over
"M A S H."
Toes14
"Absolutely. As a young child in the beginning of the 1980s I distinctly recall hearing the theme melody late at night when the TV was airing reruns and sometimes catching a glimpse of the intro.That melancholic tune just touched me in ways I didn’t understand as a 4 yr old."
"When I got a bit older I was flipping through the channels and suddenly there it was: the theme melody that I had moved me when I was so little. I had stumbled upon one of the many reruns that would air for 20-40 yrs.I was a European kid growing up in the 80s and 90s."
"I didn’t know anything about the Korean War. But the show really showed the horrors, depravity and injustice of war no matter who is doing the fighting. And it did so in a way that mixed humor with tragedy without making light of the tragedy.It was brilliant.I must have seen all episodes by now. I have a terrible memory for books, movies and shows but the last episode will stay with me forever."
anewfaceinthecrowd
Too Soon
"The Sopranos. I know what I said."
DrOliverReeder
"I know what they were trying to do there and I agree that it is brilliant once you actually analyze what happened and what led up to it, but that takes hindsight and rewinding the episode and rewatching it once, maybe twice. But on the first, cold viewing, I think it was a teeny bit TOO clever and kind of toyed with the audience."
amerkanische_Frosch
Forget 9
"Scrubs. Before anyone says it, the '9th season”'(Scrubs: Med School) is 100% a spin-off. I don’t care that they tried to staple it to the original series, that was a stupid move to ride the ratings. It was entirely meant to be and written as a spin-off and you cannot convince me otherwise."
Dan*uckingSchneider
"I still get a lump in my throat when I see JD take that final walk down that hallway, seeing the faces of patients and other loved ones that passed on during his tenure, all of them wishing him well on the next step of his journey. When I retire I always imagine I'll do the same... seeing customers and co-workers I lost over the decades as I take that final walk to the front doors."
Jorro_Kreed
Phoebe
cheers champagne GIF by FleabagGiphy"Fleabag."
jubjubbirdsarefine
"Same same. I wished it could have gone on only because I enjoyed it so much, but the final season was beautiful and perfect and I cried so much during the final episode."
jubjubbirdsarefine
All great choices. I love you Fleabag.
I love to cry at movies. It makes me feel human.
Gone By...
Happy Shawshank Redemption GIFGiphy"The scene in Shawshank Redemption where the elderly man laments how quickly time passed."
mojichana
Dear Dad
"Big Fish."
BelicianPixieFry
"This movie for me too, my dad is also a tall tale teller and he passed away last year. At his funeral all of his different friends showed and retold some of his crazy stories but just slightly different. Made me realize that some of his stories were true and I was living in a real life big fish movie."
Unable_Mountain_5524
Never Again
"Fox and the hound when the hound can’t be the foxes friend anymore."
_manicpixie
"I can not watch that movie at ALL!!! Right after my mom died I went to her house. That movie was in the VCR. When I hit play the movie as at that song about letting go if you love something. I just LOST IT right there. To this day I will not watch that movie and prob never will."
tectuma
Oh the Tears...
"Bridge to Terabithia. The guilt of that kid for the rest of his life."
trieditdidntregretit
"First time I ever saw my Dad cry. He thought I'd be a great Father-Daughter movie night. I just rewatched it recently and it still makes me cry."
Professional_March54
"This book and Stand By Me both made a sizeable impression on me during my youth. I hope to share these experiences with children of my own one day."
Tough-Requirement736
The End
Disney Pixar GIF by Disney+Giphy"Coco, g*ddamn Coco. I was not expecting bawling my eyes out in the last 15 minutes."
SourFartsSniffer
I can't with some of these movies. My heart can't take it.
I Hate Bees
sad macaulay culkin GIFGiphy"My Girl."
slowgoing33
"'Where's his glasses? He can't see with his glasses! It's not fair he needs his glasses to see!!'"
Ricarfo-
Let's Play
"Field of Dreams, when he's playing catch with his dad. Also, the end of The Truman Show hit pretty hard."
YteKnight696
"I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to see this one. My dad died about 20 years ago, and I would give almost anything to have a catch with him again. When Ray says in that choked up voice 'hey dad, wanna have a catch?' I just lose it."
rockychunk
Every. Time.
"It’s dumb, but the first movie I ever cried for was ‘Click’ with Adam Sandler. That scene where his father dies and he wasn’t there because the use of autopilot, so decided to revisit the last time he had seen him. His dad tells him he loves him and the autopilot version of him doesn’t give a crap, but the real him starts to cry and play the words 'I love you son’' on repeat. THIS. Has me every time."
Waytootired4this
Hey Boss
"The Green Mile."
CurlSagan
"I cried so hard watching that movie that I can't bring myself to rewatch it. Once was enough."
cmc
"Brilliant and awesome story that was understandable for a 7 year old me to start ugly sobbing for an hour in my aunt's house lol. I think it was the first time I encountered feelings against injustice and the staggering helplessness that you can't do anything to stop what's happening."
"God, it still feels like yesterday and I'm nearing 30. But the ice cream and toys I got was good too. My auntie had to bring me to the mall because I was inconsolable and continued crying on the way there. I only stopped when I had to pick an ice cream flavor lol."
Queen_Merneith
It's Ugly
life is beautiful film GIFGiphy"Life Is Beautiful."
dashing-away
"Came here to say this title. I’ve seen it once, when I was in high school around the time it came out, and I still tear up thinking about certain scenes."
ErrantCrayon
Last Breaths
"Hachiko (old and modernised version). Both versions are just as sad. It’s based on a true story. For those who don’t know, it’s about a bond of a dog and an owner. The owner walked to the train station to go to work and always brought his dog with him and the dog would always wait for him at the train station until the owner returned. The owner then died while at work and the dog continued to wait for him at the train station every single day for 9 years until his last breath."
I love movies. They make my tears feel free.
I've been dying for insight into the animal that is a bro. They're human too...
Bruno Mars GIFRank
"Do not leave your home smelling musty."
EffectiveFlatworm952
"Also, tell your friends if their home, car, them etc... smells musty. there's a time and a place of course, but often we don't notice and the note to freshen up is very welcome."
gehbfuggju
You ok?
"Check on your bros. They won’t necessarily tell you when they need help."
DomingoLee
"Lost a friend via overdose. He was exhibiting unhealthy behavior for years. I saw it, and said nothing. I later relocated and made very little effort to keep in touch. Destroys me to think what might have been different, had I reached out."
Johnny_mundo
"Seriously though, having been the bro who's dealing with depression knowing you have bros to lean on really helps."
Einar_47
Stop Breathing...
"Was in a residency program with a guy who had the worst breath any of us (all other bros) had ever smelt. When I say bad, I mean it smelt worse than if he had eaten human poop. The guy was completely oblivious to it. He’d have girls break up with him and come to us and be like 'I don’t know what happened it was going so well,' stuff like that."
"And we’d all beat around the bush and never tell him that we knew exactly why those bro-ettes dumped him. I’m ashamed to admit, my Reddit bros, that he made it through an entire 3-year residency program without any bros stepping in and hitting him with the cold hard truth. RIP to that bro."
jirski
lift me up...
Animated GIFGiphy"Support your bros; don’t tear them down when they are trying to achieve something."
Ruffled_Snout
Men really should embrace feelings more.
Find More
The One Where Estelle Dies Episode 15 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Don't fall in love with potential."
CIoud__Strife
"This comment hurt me. Learned that lesson the hard way."
kerbouchard219
Extras
"Always buy more than one stick of deodorant at a time so you’ll have a spare around when you run out. Finding out that you’re at the end right before you have to be somewhere, preferably smelling acceptable, is the worst."
anonymousone89
"As soon as I open the last container of any toiletry, it goes on the shopping list to be purchased within a week. I haven't run out once since I started doing that, and I usually buy multipacks so I don't need to shop for those things often."
loungehead
Validation
"As a guy in his mid-50s, my number 1 advice is: When you're disagreeing with someone, no matter the relationship, always validate their point first, empathize with them second, and then, and only then, make your counter-argument. Never respond to an argument with a pushback before you've validated/empathized with them."
"If you're Machiavellian about life, you'll be more likely to get what you want from someone else if they feel respected by you. If you're not Machiavellian, it's just a nice thing to do."
stumark
The One...
"Have AT LEAST one friend you can have real conversations with about your feelings. Particularly if you're in your late teens or twenties you probably don't talk about that stuff with your mates but it makes the world of difference knowing you have someone to talk to about it, even if you don't have anything to tell them just yet."
FireyBrick
Top Gun Maverick Movie GIF by Top GunThanks Bros. This was all helpful.
Do you have other tips to share? Let us know in the comments below.