Fed Up People Reveal What Made Them Break Up With Their Best Friend[rebelmouse-image 18349219 is_animated_gif=
Nothing lasts forever, not even friendship. Ending a friendship can feel a lot like a death, or a bad breakup - because, in a way, that's exactly what they are. When you're close to someone, losing them is going to hurt, even if it's the best thing. Luckily, it usually (not always) takes a lot for a solid friendship to come to an end. One Reddit user asked:
And the answers got really personal, infuriating, sad, and maybe even a little bit empowering and inspirational.
I Wasn't Supportive[rebelmouse-image 18349220 is_animated_gif=
This one actually makes me really upset, because in hind sight, I was the a**.
Had a friend who just started to become insufferable. He wouldn't shut up about his car. It was his pride and joy, and honestly it was nothing special. It was a 100% stock VW Golf he got very used in high school that his parents bought him. Everything became about cars, he didn't really talk about anything else, and about how his car was so amazing.
In hind sight, I look back and realize his home life was falling apart. His father had become addicted to drugs, his parents ended up divorcing, they had to move out of their house because his mother couldn't afford it on her own, and just turned into a absolute horrible situation. By this time, I had already become much more distant and everything just kinda clicked. He was likely burying himself in something he enjoyed as some kind of escapism.
Makes me feel horrible I wasn't more supportive and didn't maintain contact.
The Wrong Kind Of Encouragement[rebelmouse-image 18349221 is_animated_gif=
When I mentioned to her in passing that an attorney I worked with was an attractive older man, she encouraged me to cheat on my husband with him.
I'm not about that life.
The Ring[rebelmouse-image 18349223 is_animated_gif=
She stole and hawked my engagement ring for drug money.
The ring belonged to my fiances mother, her mother, and her mothers mother, I was going to be the 4th woman to wear it on their wedding day, and we were going to keep passing it on to the 5th generation.
That was 3 months ago, and we've had no luck finding it.
Faded[rebelmouse-image 18349224 is_animated_gif=
We just faded off. No big fight, no break up, just little by little stopped talking. I'd like to try and give a reason why that happened, like it was a one sided friendship or I realized he was a jerk, but I can't...and I think that's what still sort of hurts about it seeing as we were friends for almost 20 years.
Both of us have tried a few times to get back in touch, but its always tepid and never lasts more than a half hour phone call or two. I think the friendship is just dead at this point. We've both changed too much from who we were in the past and have moved on.
A Sh!tty Aunt[rebelmouse-image 18349225 is_animated_gif=
She started only hanging out when it benefited her. I would take her to concerts and we'd do a bunch if fun stuff. Then when I was pregnant we only hung out to get food and she always said she would always be there for my kid. She showed up once after my daughter was born, then once at her first birthday. The last time I saw her was at my daughter's second birthday. THAT'S WHERE SHE TRIED TO GET MY HUSBAND INTO A THREESOME WITH HER GIRLFRIEND. WHILE AT MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY?!?
She pretends to be gay to get guys, really hurts her female partners all the time. She uses people, and was a sh!tty "aunt" to my kid. When I told her I was moving from Texas to new England she hit me up the day I was leaving to hang out. I haven't talked to her since and she hasn't tried to contact me.
Rent[rebelmouse-image 18349226 is_animated_gif=
This happened about 5 years ago I'm 30 now, I had been friends with a girl since grade 1. At one point she had been seeing a guy for 6 years and I was really good friends with him too. We rented a house together, my room was downstairs and payed $1000/mnth they were upstairs in master and payed $1150 between the two.
About 3 years in, the owner wanted to sell and offered us first dibs. We talked about it, made a plan of how the contract would work if one party wanted to sell or rent their part, but made a plan to Reno and sell in 4 years/ split profits.
But then, behind my back, they borrowed some money from family and just bought it for themselves. Then had the nerve later on to ask if I wanted to make some "advanced rent payments" to help them repay what they borrowed. Strike one.
Move forward about two years, I just let bygones be bygones. I decided it was time to move in with my girlfriend. I gave them notice and offered to pay that whole month and 10 days of rent into the next. Wasn't good enough and they said I would have to pay them all of the moving month and all of the next months rent because they weren't given enough time.
I've been paying you "rent" for 2 years for a house we were supposed to co-own, now you want $2000+ for me being there for 10 days? They knew I had to pay another $3600 for starting to rent a new place. I gave plenty of notice.
Their response was it just business, we can still be friends but if you don't pay us we will go to court.
So I told them to go f*&^ themselves, gave them the rent for one month plus $700 for next month where I would not be there at all and cut them as friends. Told them to try and take me to court as we weren't in any rental contract.
Ran into them once since then - at a wedding. The guy tried to be friendly. My response was:
"I hope the money I paid you was good to you and worth the awkwardness it caused in our friends circle because it messed with me for a few months. But it's just business."
He had no response just moved on to the next person he knew.
One Sided Friendship[rebelmouse-image 18348644 is_animated_gif=
I realize that I'm doing everything to keep the friendship going. I make all the plans, I make the calls, send the texts, invite the person, start the conversations, etc.
It has got to go both ways. If it's one sided you're using me or you don't like me and feel bad for me. Either way, I don't want to be your friend.
The Ex[rebelmouse-image 18349227 is_animated_gif=
I realize I was emotionally dependent on him (close friend who's also an ex) and that wasn't helping my existing romantic relationship. In hindsight, I was trying to hold onto him and wasn't ready to let go.
It took me too long ( and lots of argument with my existing SO) to realize it .
Cutting him out of my life to focus on my existing SO improve our relationship and it's the BEST THING I EVER DID
Manipulation[rebelmouse-image 18349228 is_animated_gif=
Recently I cut ties with a friend of mine because they were manipulative. All they caused me was emotional pain and made me feel miserable constantly. And they were trying to stay friends even though they didn't want to because they wanted to make up for the pain they caused. However, their attempts at being friendly were very unconvincing as they obviously hate me. So I cut ties with them earlier this week and have been feeling great ever since
Attention Hog[rebelmouse-image 18346772 is_animated_gif=
He repeatedly was talking s*** about me, making up all kinds of stories, etc. He was mad because a girl liked me.
Thing is, he didn't even LIKE the girl. He wasn't interested in her, he just didn't like it when the attention wasn't on him. At that point, he began to make up stories and paint me as a completely self-centered a**hole.
That was really the nail on the head of the relationship.
ADHD Medicine[rebelmouse-image 18349229 is_animated_gif=
College roommate stole my ADHD medicine. He made fun of me behind my back when I had bad days because I had no meds. I found out it was him years later because he was still laughing about it 5 years after we graduated.
He never even apologized after I called him out. I suspect he was too ashamed. I still talk to him every now and then, but I will never have his back ever again. He's nothing more than an acquaintance and I'll never respect him again.
The Feels[rebelmouse-image 18349230 is_animated_gif=
Ah... I got a bad case of the feels and decided that being friends with him would feed those feelings and that it would be better to slowly fade out of his life. He was just too kind and sweet and my heart couldn't take it anymore. Just typing this makes me tear up because I just so desperately want to be friends but being friends also makes me miserable because I want more. Hah.. hopefully I'll stop liking him at some point.
Thanks, Mom[rebelmouse-image 18349231 is_animated_gif=
She'd cheat on her boyfriend while his mother was paying for her studies. She was, and remains to be, the worst.
Justifying Divorce[rebelmouse-image 18346749 is_animated_gif=
She said my marriage hadn't been bad enough to justify a divorce - because it hadn't ever gotten physically violent. Like I was supposed to stay in an awful situation just because he hadn't hit me? He cheated on me while my mom was dying of cancer! This friend knew that, and every gory detail of how bad the marriage was.
I have zero regrets about the divorce, but it hurt to lose a close friend like that.
The Cool Kids[rebelmouse-image 18349232 is_animated_gif=
He became one of the hot shots in high school, hanging out with the cool kids. Left me in the dust. We just kind of stopped talking. I'm not bitter, but I have no desire to reconnect.
Kat Von D Lipstick[rebelmouse-image 18349233 is_animated_gif=
She called me a Nazi sympathizer for wearing Kat Von Dee lipstick and then went on a major rant about how North Korea is a paradise and all the reported atrocities toward human rights is a lie made up by the West because white people are evil.
Cheater[rebelmouse-image 18349234 is_animated_gif=
He cheated on his pregnant wife.
Infertility[rebelmouse-image 18345178 is_animated_gif=
Wife and I got pregnant with twins on our first try, they had been trying for ~ a year before that. The jealousy when we told them was too much for them to hide or overcome.
Literally the first words out of her mouth were "I hate you". Jokingly of course, but also not really. They never were able to get out of that phase. Every comment was shrouded in jealousy and contempt. They slowly started canceling plans more and more frequently, then we weren't invited to a party (I was a groomsman in their wedding the previous year) so that message was received pretty loud and clear.
Last update (almost 3 years later) they are starting the adoption process.
I get that infertility can be tough. But we were nothing but supportive and sensitive. We made sure not to mention their situation or ask questions, we specifically didn't talk about our pregnancy, and tried our best to just act the way we've always acted. But it was too much for them. I just can't imagine doing something like that to any of my friends in a similar situation.
Talking Sh!t[rebelmouse-image 18349235 is_animated_gif=
I changed my discord name and they didn't know. So when I joined the chat they didn't realize I was there. They where all talking s*** about me. I heard it all and i haven't talked to them since.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.