Fed Up People Reveal What Made Them Break Up With Their Best Friend
Nothing lasts forever, not even friendship. Ending a friendship can feel a lot like a death, or a bad breakup - because, in a way, that's exactly what they are. When you're close to someone, losing them is going to hurt, even if it's the best thing. Luckily, it usually (not always) takes a lot for a solid friendship to come to an end. One Reddit user asked:
And the answers got really personal, infuriating, sad, and maybe even a little bit empowering and inspirational.
I Wasn't Supportive
This one actually makes me really upset, because in hind sight, I was the a**.
Had a friend who just started to become insufferable. He wouldn't shut up about his car. It was his pride and joy, and honestly it was nothing special. It was a 100% stock VW Golf he got very used in high school that his parents bought him. Everything became about cars, he didn't really talk about anything else, and about how his car was so amazing.
In hind sight, I look back and realize his home life was falling apart. His father had become addicted to drugs, his parents ended up divorcing, they had to move out of their house because his mother couldn't afford it on her own, and just turned into a absolute horrible situation. By this time, I had already become much more distant and everything just kinda clicked. He was likely burying himself in something he enjoyed as some kind of escapism.
Makes me feel horrible I wasn't more supportive and didn't maintain contact.
The Wrong Kind Of Encouragement
When I mentioned to her in passing that an attorney I worked with was an attractive older man, she encouraged me to cheat on my husband with him.
I'm not about that life.
She stole and hawked my engagement ring for drug money.
The ring belonged to my fiances mother, her mother, and her mothers mother, I was going to be the 4th woman to wear it on their wedding day, and we were going to keep passing it on to the 5th generation.
That was 3 months ago, and we've had no luck finding it.
We just faded off. No big fight, no break up, just little by little stopped talking. I'd like to try and give a reason why that happened, like it was a one sided friendship or I realized he was a jerk, but I can't...and I think that's what still sort of hurts about it seeing as we were friends for almost 20 years.
Both of us have tried a few times to get back in touch, but its always tepid and never lasts more than a half hour phone call or two. I think the friendship is just dead at this point. We've both changed too much from who we were in the past and have moved on.
A Sh!tty Aunt
She started only hanging out when it benefited her. I would take her to concerts and we'd do a bunch if fun stuff. Then when I was pregnant we only hung out to get food and she always said she would always be there for my kid. She showed up once after my daughter was born, then once at her first birthday. The last time I saw her was at my daughter's second birthday. THAT'S WHERE SHE TRIED TO GET MY HUSBAND INTO A THREESOME WITH HER GIRLFRIEND. WHILE AT MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY?!?
She pretends to be gay to get guys, really hurts her female partners all the time. She uses people, and was a sh!tty "aunt" to my kid. When I told her I was moving from Texas to new England she hit me up the day I was leaving to hang out. I haven't talked to her since and she hasn't tried to contact me.
This happened about 5 years ago I'm 30 now, I had been friends with a girl since grade 1. At one point she had been seeing a guy for 6 years and I was really good friends with him too. We rented a house together, my room was downstairs and payed $1000/mnth they were upstairs in master and payed $1150 between the two.
About 3 years in, the owner wanted to sell and offered us first dibs. We talked about it, made a plan of how the contract would work if one party wanted to sell or rent their part, but made a plan to Reno and sell in 4 years/ split profits.
But then, behind my back, they borrowed some money from family and just bought it for themselves. Then had the nerve later on to ask if I wanted to make some "advanced rent payments" to help them repay what they borrowed. Strike one.
Move forward about two years, I just let bygones be bygones. I decided it was time to move in with my girlfriend. I gave them notice and offered to pay that whole month and 10 days of rent into the next. Wasn't good enough and they said I would have to pay them all of the moving month and all of the next months rent because they weren't given enough time.
I've been paying you "rent" for 2 years for a house we were supposed to co-own, now you want $2000+ for me being there for 10 days? They knew I had to pay another $3600 for starting to rent a new place. I gave plenty of notice.
Their response was it just business, we can still be friends but if you don't pay us we will go to court.
So I told them to go f*&^ themselves, gave them the rent for one month plus $700 for next month where I would not be there at all and cut them as friends. Told them to try and take me to court as we weren't in any rental contract.
Ran into them once since then - at a wedding. The guy tried to be friendly. My response was:
"I hope the money I paid you was good to you and worth the awkwardness it caused in our friends circle because it messed with me for a few months. But it's just business."
He had no response just moved on to the next person he knew.
One Sided Friendship
I realize that I'm doing everything to keep the friendship going. I make all the plans, I make the calls, send the texts, invite the person, start the conversations, etc.
It has got to go both ways. If it's one sided you're using me or you don't like me and feel bad for me. Either way, I don't want to be your friend.
I realize I was emotionally dependent on him (close friend who's also an ex) and that wasn't helping my existing romantic relationship. In hindsight, I was trying to hold onto him and wasn't ready to let go.
It took me too long ( and lots of argument with my existing SO) to realize it .
Cutting him out of my life to focus on my existing SO improve our relationship and it's the BEST THING I EVER DID
Recently I cut ties with a friend of mine because they were manipulative. All they caused me was emotional pain and made me feel miserable constantly. And they were trying to stay friends even though they didn't want to because they wanted to make up for the pain they caused. However, their attempts at being friendly were very unconvincing as they obviously hate me. So I cut ties with them earlier this week and have been feeling great ever since
He repeatedly was talking s*** about me, making up all kinds of stories, etc. He was mad because a girl liked me.
Thing is, he didn't even LIKE the girl. He wasn't interested in her, he just didn't like it when the attention wasn't on him. At that point, he began to make up stories and paint me as a completely self-centered a**hole.
That was really the nail on the head of the relationship.
College roommate stole my ADHD medicine. He made fun of me behind my back when I had bad days because I had no meds. I found out it was him years later because he was still laughing about it 5 years after we graduated.
He never even apologized after I called him out. I suspect he was too ashamed. I still talk to him every now and then, but I will never have his back ever again. He's nothing more than an acquaintance and I'll never respect him again.
Ah... I got a bad case of the feels and decided that being friends with him would feed those feelings and that it would be better to slowly fade out of his life. He was just too kind and sweet and my heart couldn't take it anymore. Just typing this makes me tear up because I just so desperately want to be friends but being friends also makes me miserable because I want more. Hah.. hopefully I'll stop liking him at some point.
She'd cheat on her boyfriend while his mother was paying for her studies. She was, and remains to be, the worst.
She said my marriage hadn't been bad enough to justify a divorce - because it hadn't ever gotten physically violent. Like I was supposed to stay in an awful situation just because he hadn't hit me? He cheated on me while my mom was dying of cancer! This friend knew that, and every gory detail of how bad the marriage was.
I have zero regrets about the divorce, but it hurt to lose a close friend like that.
The Cool Kids
He became one of the hot shots in high school, hanging out with the cool kids. Left me in the dust. We just kind of stopped talking. I'm not bitter, but I have no desire to reconnect.
Kat Von D Lipstick
She called me a Nazi sympathizer for wearing Kat Von Dee lipstick and then went on a major rant about how North Korea is a paradise and all the reported atrocities toward human rights is a lie made up by the West because white people are evil.
He cheated on his pregnant wife.
Wife and I got pregnant with twins on our first try, they had been trying for ~ a year before that. The jealousy when we told them was too much for them to hide or overcome.
Literally the first words out of her mouth were "I hate you". Jokingly of course, but also not really. They never were able to get out of that phase. Every comment was shrouded in jealousy and contempt. They slowly started canceling plans more and more frequently, then we weren't invited to a party (I was a groomsman in their wedding the previous year) so that message was received pretty loud and clear.
Last update (almost 3 years later) they are starting the adoption process.
I get that infertility can be tough. But we were nothing but supportive and sensitive. We made sure not to mention their situation or ask questions, we specifically didn't talk about our pregnancy, and tried our best to just act the way we've always acted. But it was too much for them. I just can't imagine doing something like that to any of my friends in a similar situation.
I changed my discord name and they didn't know. So when I joined the chat they didn't realize I was there. They where all talking s*** about me. I heard it all and i haven't talked to them since.
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.