
Fed Up People Reveal What Made Them Break Up With Their Best Friend
[rebelmouse-image 18349219 is_animated_gif=Nothing lasts forever, not even friendship. Ending a friendship can feel a lot like a death, or a bad breakup - because, in a way, that's exactly what they are. When you're close to someone, losing them is going to hurt, even if it's the best thing. Luckily, it usually (not always) takes a lot for a solid friendship to come to an end. One Reddit user asked:
What caused you to break up or cut ties with a close friend?
And the answers got really personal, infuriating, sad, and maybe even a little bit empowering and inspirational.
I Wasn't Supportive
[rebelmouse-image 18349220 is_animated_gif=This one actually makes me really upset, because in hind sight, I was the a**.
Had a friend who just started to become insufferable. He wouldn't shut up about his car. It was his pride and joy, and honestly it was nothing special. It was a 100% stock VW Golf he got very used in high school that his parents bought him. Everything became about cars, he didn't really talk about anything else, and about how his car was so amazing.
In hind sight, I look back and realize his home life was falling apart. His father had become addicted to drugs, his parents ended up divorcing, they had to move out of their house because his mother couldn't afford it on her own, and just turned into a absolute horrible situation. By this time, I had already become much more distant and everything just kinda clicked. He was likely burying himself in something he enjoyed as some kind of escapism.
Makes me feel horrible I wasn't more supportive and didn't maintain contact.
The Wrong Kind Of Encouragement
[rebelmouse-image 18349221 is_animated_gif=When I mentioned to her in passing that an attorney I worked with was an attractive older man, she encouraged me to cheat on my husband with him.
I'm not about that life.
The Ring
[rebelmouse-image 18349223 is_animated_gif=She stole and hawked my engagement ring for drug money.
The ring belonged to my fiances mother, her mother, and her mothers mother, I was going to be the 4th woman to wear it on their wedding day, and we were going to keep passing it on to the 5th generation.
That was 3 months ago, and we've had no luck finding it.
Faded
[rebelmouse-image 18349224 is_animated_gif=We just faded off. No big fight, no break up, just little by little stopped talking. I'd like to try and give a reason why that happened, like it was a one sided friendship or I realized he was a jerk, but I can't...and I think that's what still sort of hurts about it seeing as we were friends for almost 20 years.
Both of us have tried a few times to get back in touch, but its always tepid and never lasts more than a half hour phone call or two. I think the friendship is just dead at this point. We've both changed too much from who we were in the past and have moved on.
A Sh!tty Aunt
[rebelmouse-image 18349225 is_animated_gif=She started only hanging out when it benefited her. I would take her to concerts and we'd do a bunch if fun stuff. Then when I was pregnant we only hung out to get food and she always said she would always be there for my kid. She showed up once after my daughter was born, then once at her first birthday. The last time I saw her was at my daughter's second birthday. THAT'S WHERE SHE TRIED TO GET MY HUSBAND INTO A THREESOME WITH HER GIRLFRIEND. WHILE AT MY DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY?!?
She pretends to be gay to get guys, really hurts her female partners all the time. She uses people, and was a sh!tty "aunt" to my kid. When I told her I was moving from Texas to new England she hit me up the day I was leaving to hang out. I haven't talked to her since and she hasn't tried to contact me.
Rent
[rebelmouse-image 18349226 is_animated_gif=This happened about 5 years ago I'm 30 now, I had been friends with a girl since grade 1. At one point she had been seeing a guy for 6 years and I was really good friends with him too. We rented a house together, my room was downstairs and payed $1000/mnth they were upstairs in master and payed $1150 between the two.
About 3 years in, the owner wanted to sell and offered us first dibs. We talked about it, made a plan of how the contract would work if one party wanted to sell or rent their part, but made a plan to Reno and sell in 4 years/ split profits.
But then, behind my back, they borrowed some money from family and just bought it for themselves. Then had the nerve later on to ask if I wanted to make some "advanced rent payments" to help them repay what they borrowed. Strike one.
Move forward about two years, I just let bygones be bygones. I decided it was time to move in with my girlfriend. I gave them notice and offered to pay that whole month and 10 days of rent into the next. Wasn't good enough and they said I would have to pay them all of the moving month and all of the next months rent because they weren't given enough time.
I've been paying you "rent" for 2 years for a house we were supposed to co-own, now you want $2000+ for me being there for 10 days? They knew I had to pay another $3600 for starting to rent a new place. I gave plenty of notice.
Their response was it just business, we can still be friends but if you don't pay us we will go to court.
So I told them to go f*&^ themselves, gave them the rent for one month plus $700 for next month where I would not be there at all and cut them as friends. Told them to try and take me to court as we weren't in any rental contract.
Ran into them once since then - at a wedding. The guy tried to be friendly. My response was:
"I hope the money I paid you was good to you and worth the awkwardness it caused in our friends circle because it messed with me for a few months. But it's just business."
He had no response just moved on to the next person he knew.
One Sided Friendship
[rebelmouse-image 18348644 is_animated_gif=I realize that I'm doing everything to keep the friendship going. I make all the plans, I make the calls, send the texts, invite the person, start the conversations, etc.
It has got to go both ways. If it's one sided you're using me or you don't like me and feel bad for me. Either way, I don't want to be your friend.
The Ex
[rebelmouse-image 18349227 is_animated_gif=I realize I was emotionally dependent on him (close friend who's also an ex) and that wasn't helping my existing romantic relationship. In hindsight, I was trying to hold onto him and wasn't ready to let go.
It took me too long ( and lots of argument with my existing SO) to realize it .
Cutting him out of my life to focus on my existing SO improve our relationship and it's the BEST THING I EVER DID
Manipulation
[rebelmouse-image 18349228 is_animated_gif=Recently I cut ties with a friend of mine because they were manipulative. All they caused me was emotional pain and made me feel miserable constantly. And they were trying to stay friends even though they didn't want to because they wanted to make up for the pain they caused. However, their attempts at being friendly were very unconvincing as they obviously hate me. So I cut ties with them earlier this week and have been feeling great ever since
Attention Hog
[rebelmouse-image 18346772 is_animated_gif=He repeatedly was talking s*** about me, making up all kinds of stories, etc. He was mad because a girl liked me.
Thing is, he didn't even LIKE the girl. He wasn't interested in her, he just didn't like it when the attention wasn't on him. At that point, he began to make up stories and paint me as a completely self-centered a**hole.
That was really the nail on the head of the relationship.
ADHD Medicine
[rebelmouse-image 18349229 is_animated_gif=College roommate stole my ADHD medicine. He made fun of me behind my back when I had bad days because I had no meds. I found out it was him years later because he was still laughing about it 5 years after we graduated.
He never even apologized after I called him out. I suspect he was too ashamed. I still talk to him every now and then, but I will never have his back ever again. He's nothing more than an acquaintance and I'll never respect him again.
The Feels
[rebelmouse-image 18349230 is_animated_gif=Ah... I got a bad case of the feels and decided that being friends with him would feed those feelings and that it would be better to slowly fade out of his life. He was just too kind and sweet and my heart couldn't take it anymore. Just typing this makes me tear up because I just so desperately want to be friends but being friends also makes me miserable because I want more. Hah.. hopefully I'll stop liking him at some point.
Thanks, Mom
[rebelmouse-image 18349231 is_animated_gif=She'd cheat on her boyfriend while his mother was paying for her studies. She was, and remains to be, the worst.
Justifying Divorce
[rebelmouse-image 18346749 is_animated_gif=She said my marriage hadn't been bad enough to justify a divorce - because it hadn't ever gotten physically violent. Like I was supposed to stay in an awful situation just because he hadn't hit me? He cheated on me while my mom was dying of cancer! This friend knew that, and every gory detail of how bad the marriage was.
I have zero regrets about the divorce, but it hurt to lose a close friend like that.
The Cool Kids
[rebelmouse-image 18349232 is_animated_gif=He became one of the hot shots in high school, hanging out with the cool kids. Left me in the dust. We just kind of stopped talking. I'm not bitter, but I have no desire to reconnect.
Kat Von D Lipstick
[rebelmouse-image 18349233 is_animated_gif=She called me a Nazi sympathizer for wearing Kat Von Dee lipstick and then went on a major rant about how North Korea is a paradise and all the reported atrocities toward human rights is a lie made up by the West because white people are evil.
Cheater
[rebelmouse-image 18349234 is_animated_gif=He cheated on his pregnant wife.
Infertility
[rebelmouse-image 18345178 is_animated_gif=Wife and I got pregnant with twins on our first try, they had been trying for ~ a year before that. The jealousy when we told them was too much for them to hide or overcome.
Literally the first words out of her mouth were "I hate you". Jokingly of course, but also not really. They never were able to get out of that phase. Every comment was shrouded in jealousy and contempt. They slowly started canceling plans more and more frequently, then we weren't invited to a party (I was a groomsman in their wedding the previous year) so that message was received pretty loud and clear.
Last update (almost 3 years later) they are starting the adoption process.
I get that infertility can be tough. But we were nothing but supportive and sensitive. We made sure not to mention their situation or ask questions, we specifically didn't talk about our pregnancy, and tried our best to just act the way we've always acted. But it was too much for them. I just can't imagine doing something like that to any of my friends in a similar situation.
Talking Sh!t
[rebelmouse-image 18349235 is_animated_gif=I changed my discord name and they didn't know. So when I joined the chat they didn't realize I was there. They where all talking s*** about me. I heard it all and i haven't talked to them since.
H/T: Reddit
Sometimes you only need to experience something once, to know it's a never again situation.
I always say, try everything once.
Well, now that I'm older, a caveat to that is... try it all within reason.
How many things have we all walked away from saying the one time experience will suffice?
In fact, knowing when to say no is one of life's wisest choices.
Redditor Croakied wanted to discuss the times we've all said... "once was enough!" They asked:
"What is one thing that you will NEVER do again?"
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
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People Imagine How They'd React If Their Significant Other Wanted To Sleep With Other People
There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
Redditor Pineapple-Status wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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