I once heard "nice guys" characterized as those who are chivalrous in public and misogynistic in private, and that's an observation that appears to get to the heart of the experiences of many women out there who've had to navigate a minefield while dating.
"Nice" guys are typically anything but.
Suffice it to say that if you actually are one, there's no need to declare it.
Women shared their stories with us after Redditor Jin_Kazama asked the online community:
"Girls that gave the 'nice guy' a chance, how did it go?"
"I was coming out of a string..."
"I was coming out of a string of really bad, toxic, abusive relationships so I promised myself that I would try to find a nice guy to date. Well, I had a first date with this one guy, we'll call him Tim."
"It was a fine date. He was nice and we had fine conversations. I didn't feel any immediate chemistry, but I was also not used to dating guys who weren't blatant asses so I figured that was why I didn't feel an immediate connection. I told myself I'd go on one more date with him and see if the connection grew in any way."
"So we go on a second date a week later. It was a short date, we.had an early dinner, and I was back home 90 minutes after he picked me up to drive me to dinner. Again, no sparks, but he was nice and it wasn't a bad date. So I told myself I'd go on one more date with him and that would be the deciding factor."
"I was still wrestling in my head with the idea that I was just not attracted to him because he wasn't an a-hole and maybe I was just scared of nice guys. Well, on our third date, he asked me to move in with him, offered to put me on his health insurance plan (I was uninsured at the time) and told me he loved me."
"I very gently told him that he was a great guy, but he was clearly more invested than I was, and that it wasn't fair to him, that he deserved to be with someone who was equally attracted to him. At the time he was cordial, but confused, and we parted ways."
"Next day, he posts a long, long rant on Facebook about how nice guys finish last, girls only want to date a-holes, he opened his heart and his home to 'this ungrateful b**ch' only to be slapped with a rejection. He left it up for a few days,.and then blocked me."
The things people put on social media are wild. You dodged a bullet. Next time, trust your gut.
"He begged me..."
"He begged me to masturbate for him while he drove me home and when I refused, he threatened to rape me... and then couldn't understand why I didn't want anything to do with him after that."
That is terrifying. Thankfully you managed to get away!
"He once said to me..."
"Went on and on about what a great, compassionate guy he was. He was actually just your garden variety, abusive psycho. He once said to me: "I wish you had been abused so you would realise how great I am." Who says that?!"
The kind of person who says that is the kind of person who thinks they might be able to get away with abusing you.
"I offended him immediately..."
"I finally allowed him to take me on a date to breakfast. Figured midday would be ideal to meet up in public. "
"I offended him immediately when I spoke to the waitress. I said, "We have two" when she asked how many we had. He insisted that she was asking him, not me, and I emasculated him in public. I laughed it off as a joke. I grew up with all brothers. Surely, he was trying to be funny."
"We sat down. The waitress asked for our order. I gave her mine. He groaned and asked her to come back in a second. He told me proper protocol was for me to discuss what I wanted to eat with him, allow him to make the decision, and he was supposed to relay that to the waitress - not me!"
"I told him he was crazy and left. Blocked his number. Ghosted completely."
Ghosting him was ABSOLUTELY the correct decision.
"I noped the f**k out..."
"The “nice” guy tried moving into my dorm room after 4 days. I noped the f**k out of that relationship."
"At first I was sympathetic that he hadn't really made any friends before we dated (starting at the end of our junior years of high school) and believed him when he talked about how "people always bullied him wherever he went" and "no one wanted to make friends with him.""
"He also loved the idea of dating someone who was going to be a counselor because he thought it was an admirable job."
"Turns out he just wanted someone to be more of a therapist than a partner to him, and he would get upset if I didn't walk on eggshells around him. Later on he also started blaming me for not wanting to have sex with him every day.
"I was getting FREQUENT urinary tract infections (multiple a month at one point) and was physically unable to, but that was an excuse to him."
"He considered masturbating almost as reprehensible as cheating on him, so when I wouldn't be in the mood (every day) it would be my fault for masturbating (whether I had or not) and got to a point where I would just agree to get it over with and get him to leave me alone."
"He had a lot of weird ideas about sex and how it could only be missionary with very little foreplay or aftercare, so sex became this uncomfortable two-minute daily dissociation that I got through for awhile because I thought that's what I had to do for someone to love me."
"I've since found a partner who values me and takes care of me back when I take care of him (although lately he's been doing much more to support me). He is a gift that I am constantly grateful for."
Glad to hear you found a partner who appreciates you! That's the best revenge.
"He proposed to me..."
"He proposed to me after we worked on a group project. When I turned down this guy I barely knew and definitely never dated he stalked and harassed me for about half a year until he found his next "true love." He was a serial proposer."
Serial proposer, eh?
He clearly has self-esteem issues (and sounds deluded).
"He went out bowling..."
"He went out bowling with his friends and then when he came home he complained to me that for the first time in his life a hot girl had hit on him while he was out, and he was unlucky enough to actually have a girlfriend. He seemed genuinely sad he had to turn her down, and expected me to be grateful he did it."
Wait a minute... what?!
Men are truly something else. The disconnect is wild.
"He also had a horrible drinking problem..."
"He was always nice to me but very easily jealous anytime another guy spoke to me. We were just friends and only went out once yet he felt like he needed to make me feel bad whenever other guys gave me a little attention. He also had a horrible drinking problem and serious anger issues."
"And the whole time he was trying to woo me, he was also hooking up with his ex and ended up getting her pregnant. So yeah, no regrets about that."
You shouldn't regret a single thing about your decision to get away from him!
As you can see, dating is a MINEFIELD.
Men, do better. There are many reasons why dating can make women reason and the stories mentioned here are just a few examples.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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People are often impressed by those who are multilingual–mainly because they can't imagine having the ability to communicate with others in different languages themselves.
Equally respected individuals are those who can play multiple musical instruments. Sure, playing the piano alone is impressive. But if a pianist can also play the bass and drums–essentially being their own one-person band–that is also a major wow factor.
So if you had the option to have the capacity for one or the other, which would it be?
That is the query Redditor MrJoelDude posed online, asking:
"Would you rather be the best at speaking every language or be the best at playing every instrument? Why?"
Things kicked off with wisecracks.
"does either skill require upkeep of any kind?"
"will these skills diminish if I don't keep them sharp?"
As In "Be Flat"
"No they will Bb."
"Pack it up folks the comment section has been won."
The Hits Keep Coming
"He's A natural."
"I C what you did there."
But, seriously, folks.
Here's what music lovers had to say.
An Introvert Responds
"Ooh, that's tough. Speaking every language would be so amazing, because you could communicate with literally anyone. You could talk to anyone on the whole planet, and I bet you could also get a fantastic, well-paid job with that skill."
"But I don't like people all that much. I'd find it much more personally satisfying to be able to be able to play any instrument. How amazing it would be, to be able to express myself with any instrument that exists. You could also be a musician and that would be way better for me than being an interpreter. So I'd have to go with that."
"As a professional translator with musical aspirations, this is one of the hardest questions for me. Obviously, the languages would make me the most useful person in the office and I'd be set for life, but being able to play every instrument has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and it would allow me to make all the music I've always wanted to but didn't know anyone with the right skills and interests."
"Instrument. I am scared of social interaction."
What Legends Are Made Of
"Also great to learn if you're highly social and want fans the world over. I don't think people realize the significance of this premise. You'd be the very best in the world at every musical instrument. Better than Hendrix, Page, Clapton, SRV, Chuck Berry, David Gilmour, Van Halen, Prince, Mark Knopfler etc. at the guitar."
"Better than Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Debussy, Thelonious Monk, Kieth Jarrett, Duke, Art Tatum, and every 9 year old prodigy ever at piano. Better than Miles at the trumpet and Coltrane at the sax. Better than Gene Krupa, Stewart Copeland, John Bonham, Danny Carey, Neil Peart, Buddy Rich, etc. at the drums. Better than Les Claypool, Jaco Pastorius, Mingus, Bootsy Collins, Wooten, Cliff Burton, Geddy Lee at the bass. All at the same time."
"You could easily make it as a studio or live session musician but if that musical ability came with a bit of songwriting/compositional talent/luck than you could release some of the greatest music ever. Nobody who has a legitimate discography of some of the greatest music ever remains a nobody for long—especially in the age of the internet."
"Obviously one could make an argument that songwriting ability matters far more than raw musicianship and that person would probably point to artists like The Beatles and Kurt Cobain who were far from the greatest musicians of their respective ages—or any age—but still managed to write timeless, classic, hit music, but raw musicianship can still go a long way in allowing one to manifest one's creativity."
The art of language spoke to these Redditors.
Hear Me Roar
"Speak every language. I’ve always wanted to speak T-Rex."
"Language. If it's every language, it means I could speak dead languages and translate some of the oldest texts in the world. That would be super cool."
"I am a world traveling professional musician. I can play a handful of instruments but I can only speak one language. To have access to a foreign language while abroad in say ,India where there many. Would be a super power. To sing to people in there own tounges everywhere I go would be a treasure to myself and my audience. The absolute hardest and most dangerous part about traveling the world is not knowing the language."
Would Be Outta This World
"Every language because I would dress like C-3PO and mess with people."
Because I love to travel, I would prefer the ability to speak multiple languages.
But either way, the ability to speak different languages or play different instruments are great options.
Since communication has the powerful potential to bring people from different backgrounds together–whether through the universal appeal of music or through common language–it could greatly benefit much of humanity.
If you’re anything like me, you spent your childhood dreaming about getting your Hogwarts letter, thinking about what you wanted to learn, and ignoring your real class schedule in favor of making an O.W.L. schedule.
Chances are, you never thought about the negative side of the wizarding school. Magic, however, is dangerous, especially when it can be used by youngsters.
The fact that the teenagers in the Harry Potter books didn’t abuse magic in any way is nothing short of a miracle.
We know how teenagers are. They’re adventurous, emotional, creative, and a little crazy. With access to magic, all of that would be amplified. There’s no way teenagers wouldn’t find ways to abuse magic at Hogwarts.
Curious to know how exactly magic would be abused, Redditor Animeking1108 asked:
“How would teenagers realistically misuse magic at Hogwarts?”
Watch What You Drink
"Those things are literal roofies if you're so inclined to use them that way. If the books were in any way realistic Viktor Krum would have had his pumpkin juice roofied on an hourly basis."
"The flip side would also be super common: "out of love" potions. Especially if love potions were banned or punished severely. If you can't make your crush love you, the next best thing is making them forget about their crush."
"I'm shocked I scrolled as far as I did to find this response; it was my first thought. Teenagers think they've found the love of their life and will just die if their love is unrequited."
"Source: Was a teenager once upon a time..."
"Eye Of Rabbit, Harp String Hum..."
"Turning water into rum."
"I’ll keep my eyebrows, thanks."
The Obvious Answer
"Every year there's a different boy who ends up in the infirmary after using engorgio on his d*ck and fainting from the rush of blood."
"More like every week..."
"The female equivalent is using that spell on their breasts…only for their sheer weight to break their spine."
Bibbity, Bobbity, Be Careful!
"After reading these, I think there would be a big market on putting a parental lock on certain spells on wands bought for kids."
"The wand system they have is basically giving every preteen a very complicated gun, and hope they don't learn how to pull most of its triggers."
"You saw that when James Potter suspended Snapes in the air for no reason. Bullying would be 100 times worse."
"God it would be so much worse. In primary school the strong bully the weak overwhelmingly. But then things gets flipped on their head in Hogwarts. Physical strength is no longer an advantage, all that matters is magical ability. So many of these weak or small kids who have been bullied for their whole lives get a taste of actual power and want revenge. So they repeat the cycle, particularly against those they think would have bullied them without magic. And they are merciless channeling years of pent-up aggression against anyone who doesn’t pose a real magical threat."
Spells Going Awry
"avada kedavra rampages would be more common."
"Imagine the number of accidental deaths because you Wingardium Levio-SAH your classmates."
What They Require
"The room of requirements would probably be a sex room."
"Or a place to grow magically enchanted weed plants"
"Who said it isn't?"
"“It’s also known as the come and go room”"
Accio Anything I Want
"Using spells to steal things"
"As far a I can remember, we don't know the limitations of Accio. Does the thing you summon have to be yours? Harry summoned the trophy in Goblet of Fire in the cemetery. What about distance? Harry summons his broom from the castle while being in the quidditch stadium."
The International Statute of Secrecy
"Muggle Born students would get expelled because they posted videos of themselves performing magic on social media."
"wifi connection to their brain."
That Would Be Useful
"I personally need a steady supply of something to make my hangover disappear"
Since I’m an adult, I would never abuse magic that way. Hogwarts letter, where art thou?
Humans are the dumbest species.
It's a scientific fact!!
Ok, maybe not THE dumbest, but we're up there.
How many times have you stood there, jaw on the floor, in a conversation or listening to a conversation and you thought...
Do you hear you?
It's a scary world out there when you hear what other believe to be true.
Redditor SzyMeX335 wanted to hear about the shockingly stupid things people take as truth.
"What is the dumbest thing people actually thought is real?"
I have lost the thread when it comes to humans. We're dumb. The end.
That's MattRidley Scott Nyff 2015 GIF by Film at Lincoln CenterGiphy
"When we went to see the Martian in theaters, at the end some woman behind us told her friend, “I can’t believe I missed this. When did this happen?'"
"I was told a great story by a friend who attended a town meeting addressing the locals 5G mast concerns. In attendance was a representative from the network company."
"A selection of people were permitted to take the mic and rant for hours about how they'd all been getting headaches, feeling more low than usual, flowers had been wilting, their dog wasn't himself, all manner of things blamed on 5G."
"Several hours later after everyone had their say and the crowd of hundreds had been whipped into a fever the company representative had his turn to speak and simply said 'thank you everyone for your comments but we haven't turned it on yet.'"
Bombing the Air
"'The rain follows the plow.' In the 1800s American West this was everywhere. The idea was that agriculture would bring rain and make farming super easy. Supposedly, when grasslands were turned into cultivated fields, the soil would release moisture into the air. Then human activity like factories or trains would make vibrations that formed rain clouds. Eventually the idea expanded to straight-up bombing the air with dynamite on kites."
"A lot of people fall for the scams around a company selling you a device you plug into an outlet in your home and it 'reduces your electricity bill.' You'd honestly be surprised how many people have paid money for these and even swear by them even though it's 100% snake oil and incredibly dumb to think it would do anything."
Fry 'Emiphone GIFGiphy
"That fake ad for apple phones getting the capability to charge via microwaving. Buncha people put their iPhones in their microwaves and fried 'em."
Microwaving IPhones? At those prices?! Oh Lord.
Calm Downmess reverse GIF by Jordan FisherGiphy
"Ripping the tag off of the mattress. I accidentally ripped one while moving, the movers said i'd go to jail, so I hid in my room. I was about 5."
"Those wrist bands that 'give you energy.'"
"I wanted to see what the scam was once in a mall where they were selling these. They first yank on your arm throwing you off balance easily."
"Then they put on the bracelet and yank on your arm again and you are magically steady as a rock. The impression is strong until you realize all that happened was that you were not caught off guard and were able to anticipate the force that was about to be applied and unconsciously braced for the yank."
"Posts that start with 'Science says/Psychology says... etc.' without the actual research study links."
"Even with a link, half misunderstand the article or make wildly exaggerated claims (no, curing something in mice doesn't mean it will be possible to do the same with humans, it's not even that likely the research will apply to humans, but we can't do that research to humans so we use mice)."
"That and research articles whose results cannot be replicated."
"That dumba** video people keep posting of a delivery woman dropping off a package, then reading a tear off pad of paper (that's coincidentally big enough for the security camera to read) that asks her to open the package she just delivered and dress up in the Mickey Mouse costume to surprise their son (who is going to be home any minute) for his birthday when he gets off the bus. Delivery drivers are peeing in Gatorade bottles. Like hell they're going to take the time to do all that."
Seriously?Judge Judy Reaction GIF by Agent M Loves GifsGiphy
"Beanie babies as an investment strategy."
"That picture of a divorced couple splitting up their beanie baby collection in the courtroom cracks me up."
I don't have the words. Oh, I do... "I give up."
I love an all-purpose product.
If humans have to multi-task so should our everyday things.
For instance, my wine key...
Gives me wine and I can take an attacker's eye out.
What products can serve a multi-purpose?
The more useful the better.
Redditor secondhandsisters wanted to make a list of the things we may have or need that covers dual purposes.
"What are some lesser-known secondary uses for an everyday product?"
Vodka. Did you know it also disinfects?
Down the Drain....cockroach GIFGiphy
"Bleach to keep away cockroaches. I used to get big a** cockroaches in the summer that came up my drain. My exterminator told me to pour 1 cup of bleach down my drain each week. You have to pour it down the drain in the room you see them. I started 18 months ago and haven't seen a cockroach since."
Pour it In...
"Use salt as an abrasive and absorber when cleaning. I spray my stove top with a general household cleaner then sprinkle salt liberally over the top. It gets grease out easily."
"For liquid stains like wine, I pour salt over the stain to soak up excess liquid then come through with hydrogen peroxide. Finally I get absorbent towels and dab clean it."
"Scuba diver here. Instead of using those expensive defogger gels and sprays on your mask, smear a bunch of dish soap in it, rinse once or twice, and your mask will never fog during the dive."
"You can also use this method to keep your windshield from fogging. Smear a bunch of dish soap on a towel, then rub it all over the inside of your windshield. Take another damp towel and rub the soap off until your wind shield is clear. I did this 3 weeks ago and have not had to defog a single time since."
"Shaving foam reduces\stops misting on bathroom mirrors and car windows."
"You can also use it to write creepy text like 'I died here' or 'I'm watching you' on mirrors of other people's bathrooms. When done right it will be pretty much invisible normally but the text will show up when someone is taking a bath/shower and the mirror fogs up."
Blotfriends GIF by Stan.Giphy
"Toilet seat covers are the same as blotting paper for oily skin."
Oil is really quite amazing. It covers a lot.
I hate RedisueWhats Up Nod GIF by WWEGiphy
"Any cooking oil is a great way to remove the residue from stickers. I don't know if this is recommended but if you get scratches on wood furniture I've always taken a matching washable marker, colored over the scratch, and then wiped it with a damp cloth (to effectively stain the wood back to match)."
"Rub a walnut nut on wood scratches."
"Also just go buy a small bottle of goo-gone. It is that oil, but smells great and does a better job than cooking oil. It's like a buck for a couple ounces, and that bottle has lasted me years."
"Edit: used 'Walnut nut' To differentiate it from using a whole walnut... So someone isn't rubbing a dry walnut shell on their wood. ;)"
"I have a set of 4 furniture wood pens. The trick to make it look natural is to wipe it after. I wondered for weeks why they weren’t doing the trick until someone told me that."
LessonsVaseline Hml407 GIF by truTV’s Hack My LifeGiphy
"Vagisil for chafing. It's antibacterial, lubricating, and an anesthetic. I learned that in the army."
Stop the Bleed
"Corn starch is a good blood coagulant if you need to stop bleeding."
"I saved my pet Tarantula with corn starch like this before. Her abdomen split after falling on tile, and the cornstarch stopped her from bleeding out. Several months later and she's doing great after that almost fatal fall."
Grind and Press
"If you have a French press for coffee, you can also froth milk in it after. Pour in hot milk and raise and lower the plunger until the volume of the milk has about doubled."
"Not my channel, but plugging for James Hoffman. If you like coffee, and want to explore the utter depths of the world of coffee, coffee gear, coffee science in a super chill and informative way, check him out!"
Soothechihuahua petting GIF by YasislasGiphy
"Clean mascara wands are used in animal shelters to soothe the animals by brushing, and to remove fly eggs and larva from fur."
I have been under using everything I own. I swear.