Breaking up is never easy for either party involved. But when a romantic relationship fizzles, the best thing for couples who are no longer in love to do is to go their separate ways.
Of course, things get complicated when the feeling isn't mutual and one person wants to stay in the relationship while the other has already emotionally moved on.
Curious to hear about bad breakups, Redditor SneakTechnique21 asked:
"What is the cruelest way to break up with someone?"
A person may have to resort to the following measures if the other isn't wanting to leave the relationship.
Appointing A New Position
"By asking them to wingman you on your next conquest."
"Longhaul it to the wedding and dump them at the alter, leave with bridesmaid(s)"
"Bend down on one knee in front of her family after doing a big speech about how much you love her then get up, kiss her and say 'but it won't work out' and leave."
A Ruff Exit
"Buy them a puppy as a parting gift, they will forever tell the story of how this lovely adorable doggo came into their life."
"Cheating on you openly."
Gradually distancing oneself can be one of the cruelest thing to do to a soon-to-be ex.
"Ghosting but message back every so often. Make tiny bits of effort every so often and occasionally on an important day make a half decent effort. Basically string them along for as long as you can then let them see you with someone else."
Leaving Without Saying Anything
"Don't break up with them at all, just slowly start being distant, act like they're an inconvenience whenever they're around, stop replying to messages or calls except perhaps every so often with a short reply, pretend you're busy whenever they're around or ask about when you want to meet up next."
"Basically do everything to cut them out of your life without ever actually telling them you want them gone or being directly abrasive. Real simple, low effort way to mess up someone's head significantly."
"Especially if you stretch it out over a long period of time and then just move on without telling them."
Blocking The Ex
"My ex did this to me. Used me as an emotional support while she was looking after her sick grandmother and doing her PhD. Started doing this once she defended her Thesis and her grandmother passed away (within a couple of weeks). For almost 6 months she would act busy not answering phone calls or messages, sex became almost non existent and finally broke up with me when I was in a different country for a conference. Now she is trying to insert herself into my life, wants to be the cool aunty for my daughter 🤷🏽♂️. Had to block her everywhere"
People who aren't good at communicating may employ these heartless methods to say "goodbye."
Silence Speaks A Thousand Words
"Simply not talking. Most hurtful when you are just cut off by someone and you don’t know why and then you just imagine what could have gone wrong. It is very demeaning."
"Post a detailed relationship report on their Facebook as if it were a car review done by Jeremy Clarkson, giving them a final score and a time around our test track. And finish with 'on that bombshell, it's time to end.'"
The Next Lover
"Send pictures of you with someone else and add 'I never loved you for a second.'"
As my 7th grade girlfriend did. With a note titled, “you don’t float my boat” with a bunch of sinking boats drawn on it with about a paragraph insulting you after. To make matters worse, it was given to in between classes by her best friend, who watched me read it while laughing the whole time. As I cried.
As evidenced in the responses above, people can be so cruel.
Hopefully, the new person that has created a spark in your life isn't one who is capable of any of these devious break up tactics, if and when that ever happens.
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Though they might not always be easy to notice, being single has numerous advantages.
Primarily, that you are never beholden to anyone, and can live your life exactly as you so choose.
Of course, for some people, there is the cold comfort that being single means that you are out of a bad relationship.
However difficult ending that relationship may have been, returning to single life afterwards also allows you to re-evaluate what you want, or even what you deserve, in a partner.
Giving you the foundation to avoid some past mistakes.
"What's one 'type' you'll never date again?"
Bring Me Up, Don't Take Me Down
"The type that makes you feel really bad about yourself."- Claralaraa
People Afraid Of Monogamy
"The type with a partner they didn’t tell me about."- 69MILFdudes
People Who Refuse To Be Wrong!
"Those that invalidate your feelings and are never in the wrong, no matter what."- False_Stuff835Im Right Told You So GIF by DeRay DavisGiphy
What Are They Hoping To Accomplish?
"I also will not date girls who try to make me jealous."- funck93
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think About Me!
"One sided and pretty surface level conversation type."
"Never again."- WorkingFI
No One Likes A Know It All
"The 'smartest guy in the room' guy."
"He was a know it all and no one could tell him any different."
"It was insufferable."- Mean_ParsnipKnow It All Adventure GIF by PeacockTVGiphy
Talking To Everyone But Me
Everyone Needs A Little Personal Space
"Like for real she made me sit on calls with her for 5 hours at a time and she barely said sh*t."
"I wasn't allowed to hang up or she'd have a f*cking tantrum, and there's some extra things im not going to say here."- LoginPuppy
Always Be Your True Self
"I don't want to be anyone's dirty little secret."- SallyHeap
People Who Refuse Help.
"Someone who seems like a victim in life."
"I wanted so badly to help my ex out."
"To get her out of her sh*tty living situation."
"Help her get her finances and medical needs in order."
"I really stuck my neck out."
"Gave it 150%."
"Exhausted myself regularly just so I could help her out."
"I just wanted to see her quality of life improve."
"I just wanted her to feel like life was going ok."
"It was never enough."
"Eventually she moved in with me, and spent almost a year doing nothing but playing PS4, eating, and sleeping."
"Didn't even start looking for a job."
"Eventually I ended it, and a few months later she moved back to her mom's place."
"The day after, I woke up to literally hundreds of messages from her begging me to take her back."
"Saying that she'll change."
"She'll do anything."
"She had forgotten how much worse her life was."
"I try to stay friends with her, but she's taken to making herself the victim in our relationship since we broke up."
"Maybe I wasn't perfect, I can admit that."
"But I willingly went to hell and back on multiple occasions just to try and make her smile."
"It crushes me that after everything, she trivializes everything I put into the relationship."
"This post was longer than I thought, but writing this out was therapeutic."- SinisterPixel
It's easy for people who have been single for a long time to run into the arms of the first person they can.
Though before doing so, it's always good to reflect on any past relationships and why they didn't work out.
Because when push comes to shove, being single is infinitely better than being in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you completely happy.
In this world full of complex individuals, perhaps the most well-known contradiction of personality types are those who are either followers or doers.
When a person at the helm fails to accomplish whatever task is at hand, it's the doers who take initiative and take matters into their own hands to then finish the job.
Curious to hear examples of historic doers, Redditor throwaway121270 asked:
"What is the greatest 'f'k it, I'll do it myself' in history?"
This Canadian solider single-handedly changed the course of history.
How A Dutch Town Was Liberated
"Canadian Soldier Leo Major and his friend Willie Arsenault were scouting a Dutch town called Zwolle that had been captured by Germans in WW2. On this scouting trip, the two had decided to liberate Zwolle together, but were spotted and Arsenault was killed. Major, enraged, killed two Germans while the rest fled. On the outskirts of the town, Major intercepted a vehicle, disarming the soldiers there. He told a French speaking soldier that all the Canadian artillery would be firing on the town in the morning, and decidedly let the Nazi free to spread the rumour, even returning his weapon as a total alpha move."
"That night, Major decided to single handedly liberate the town. Arming himself with many weapons, he made explosions and noise, making it sound like the entire Canadian army was there. Several times that night, Major went back and forth from Zwolle to the Canadian base taking 8 to 10 German prisoners each time."
"At one point, Major located the Gestapo (high ranking Nazis) headquarters and raided it himself. He killed several SS officers and the rest fled. By morning, Major discovered that the Germans who had taken Zwolle had entirely retreated."
"I should also mention that Major was a sniper who had only one eye from a phosphorous grenade explosion years prior and remained in the military because he insisted he only needed one eye to aim his weapon and that to him, he 'looked like a pirate.'"
"The Dutch town of Zwolle was liberated. By a one-eyed sniper. He has several other legendary acts, but this to me was his best."
More On The "Bada** Canadian"
"Damn, I just did some more reading on this guy. He also was in the Normandy invasion on D-day and single handly captured an armored German vehicle that contained communication equipment and codes. AFTER he lost his eye but before this incident, this motherf'ker single handedly captured 100 German soldiers. He started with one, killed the soldier’s friend, then used his prisoner to force their commanding officer to surrender. As he was leading a group of his prisoners back to the Canadian front lines, SS spotted him and opened fire. Major gave 0 f**ks and continued on his merry way, dropped the first group off, ordered a tank to go kill the SS guys then after they got killed he personally marched the rest of his nearly 100 prisoners back to camp."
"Why? He was 'frozen and wet' when he saw the first 2 soldiers and wanted them 'to pay.' A general tried to give him the Distinguished Conduct medal for this and Major refused because said General was 'incompetent' and in no position to be giving medals. Shortly after he survived a land mine, and guys, this is still before Zwolle."
"As if his balls weren’t big enough already, after WW2 he returned to fight in the Korean War and receives ANOTHER Distinguished Conduct medal. While the Canadian forces were trying to capture a hill the Chinese currently was defending, Major led 18 men as an elite sniper/scout force to a hill in the middle of the Chinese forces and opened fire. His team were able to take the hill. A couple hours late, 14,000 Chinese reinforcements returned to take back the hill. Major refused, found cover for his men and was able to hold back the Chinese through the night."
"I vote for Major for most badass Canadian by a landslide."
Life would be different were it not for these brave and intuitive individuals.
"Otis invented pretty much what we consider the modern elevator."
"Nobody was convinced it was safe so he hoisted himself up extremely high and had somebody cut the cable with an axe to prove how confident he was that the elevator was safe regardless of almost worst case scenarios."
"In 1888, Almon Brown Strowger, an undertaker, noticed he was losing a lot of business to the other undertaker in town. He found out that the other undertaker's wife was a telephone operator and when she intercepted people asking to be connected to Strowger's funeral home, the operator would route the call to her husband's funeral home instead."
"Three years later, Strowger patented the automatic teller exchange, a system which allowed telephone users to make calls without the need for human operators, singlehandedly destroying an entire workforce."
Beginnings Of Internet Security
"Cliff Stoll (The Cuckoos Egg) noticed weird traffic on his university servers. No one believed him that there was any risk occurring. Ended up uncovering a major hacking attempt to steal missile designs and basically created internet security. (I think it was missile designs, it's been a long time)."
The Problem Solver
"Donald Knuth is one of the big names in computer science. Back in the 1960s he set out to write the definitive texts on computer programming and analysis of algorithms. The first three volumes came out and he started the fourth in the early/mid 1970s. He was unhappy with how the newer printing/editions were typeset and so he took a summer to 'solve' that problem."
"A decade later the fourth volume still had not been completed, but as a consolation prize we got TeX (later extended to the more commonly used LaTeX), without question the most comprehensive and powerful language for creating documents with heavy technical requirements; it is a strange mix of a markup language like HTML and a compiled language like C. It is completely free and has been for well over 30 years and is probably the most bug-free piece of software I've ever seen. Certainly for its size and scope, there's not much out there of comparable quality."
"There is literally no mathematics that cannot be properly typeset in TeX/LaTeX. Its default style is instantly recognizable to any working mathematician. It is used across nearly all STEM fields and there are hundreds, if not thousands, of journals that only accept manuscripts written in LaTeX."
"It wasn't until the early 2000s that drafts of the fourth volume started to appear. Nobody has seemed to mind."
Many lives were saved thanks to the fortitude of these fearless people on a mission.
Vandalism To Save The World
"John Snow (not that one, the father of epidemiology). No one believed him that the Cholera outbreak in what is now Soho was because of a contaminated water pump. He broke it. They arrested him for vandalism and held him until the outbreak suddenly ended..."
"Probably the time Nando Parrado and Roberto Canessa decided they couldn't wait around any longer and legged it for 10 days across the Andes with no warm clothes, climbing gear, or food except some scraps of their dead friends stuffed into a sock. They finally found someone out in the middle of nowhere, Sergio Catalan, who rode horseback all night and then took a bus to get some help. The mountain climbers had come from the wreckage of a crashed plane that everyone had been looking for for over 2 mos. They needed help for the other survivors who were injured and starving. They saved 14 of their friends."
While you may not intend to make a mark in history, you've probably made a lasting impression by stepping in and taking over after watching someone fall short of achieving a desired result.
Bless you for that.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.