*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
When a sudden tragedy strikes a school, an uncanny tone sweeps across the community.
The whispers of half-informed students fly down hallways and across cafeterias. Each is heard with a balance of eager interest and mournful respect.
Teachers act strangely. They hold secrets and quietly argue about how to deliver the tragic news. The chain of command is strained under the unique circumstances.
When a student dies, all decorum subsides.
Perhaps wondering what that environment feels like, Redditor ThatOneLazySushi asked:
"Teachers who had to tell their class a student passed away, what was it like?"
Many teachers talked about the times a student or students chose to take their own lives.
The moral of the story? There is simply no way to deliver that news without an injection of trauma.
"My step-dad is a private school principal who also taught 7-8th graders. Total class size was 21 or so. Over the weekend one of the 13yo died of apparent suicide. I have never seen him so pale and empty looking when he got home that day."
"You could tell he had been crying along with the students. In his 30 years he had never dealt with anything like that and he shut down for a good while. He never saw a counselor but set it up for the students. I wish he would."
A Faceless Note
"On the 2nd day that I was in my own doing student teaching, the school went into lockdown. As this was just over a year after 911, the class, a senior Government class, surmised that it had something to do with that. There has been 2 suicides of dropped-out students in the prior 2 weeks, but that did not come up."
"Then a note was slipped under the door stating that a senior, the girlfriend to one of the prior suicides, had killed herself that morning. The option was given to announce it or have someone come down from the office to do it."
"I guess they could see my concern, and the color draining from my face while reading it, as I was asked, 'Mr. D——, what's going on?' I told them, and it was heartbreaking. There was a lot of anger and a lot of tears. It has been nearly 20 years and it still haunts me."
"In hindsight, it was, to quote the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue, a Get Tough Or Die moment. I've lost 5 current/former students since then, but none were as dark as the first one."
Probably the Best Response
"I used to teach English in China as an expat. The college I worked at had three suicides in a year, one of the students was in my department. Although I didn't teach the student directly, the tone of the students and my colleagues were extremely gloom."
"Although tragic, the topic of mental health had been on the forefront of school business after the third incident and a therapy office for students has been established in the administration building. I was very proud of my school for taking mental health seriously, and had a discussion with my students about the issue. I kept my office open for any students wanting to talk."
"AFAIK no other suicide/attempt was made for the remainder of my time there (~1 year afterward). Flowers were set up at the location."
"Worst day of my career. A student of mine shot himself the night before. The SRO told me that morning. The principal made an announcement over the intercom for all of my students to come to my room and instructed me to tell everyone about his passing while all the admin and district and school counselors watched."
"His best friend just got out of a mental hospital for cutting himself. He was sitting right next to me when I spoke to the class. I instructed one of the counselors to not let the best friend out of their sight for any reason. 30 minutes later, the counselor informs me the best friend has gone missing."
"I search the school and find him, razor in hand, and a bloody mess. I take the razor and hold him with one arm while calling his dad with the other. It was a long and terrible day."
Other teachers recalled times that a student suffered at the hands of community violence. These stories took place in areas where, unfortunately, despite the sadness it wasn't completely shocking.
A Constellation of Factors
"A student of ours was shot and killed. It happened just as quarantine had started so no students to tell. Just the teachers and staff."
"I had talked to the student no more than a week before everything shut down. We had threatened to call CPS on the mother because she had several children not going to school at all. We also suspected she was under the influence of drugs. He came in because of this threat and had told us his twin had been shot during a party and died. Most likely gang related for both of the shootings."
"It's difficult because these were 16-year-olds that should have had a better shot at life but the system failed them every step of the way."
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Last to Hear
"Used to teach in inner-city Chicago. Never had a student die, but several of them got shot. The kids knew well before I did."
"I actually had one student missing for three days; I mentioned it out loud that it was odd they weren't in class for three days in a row, and one of my kids said, 'Oh, Joe got shot seven times. You didn't know?' "
"Pretty harrowing stuff. It's tough to sleep those days off, especially considering how casual the kids would be about it."
Feels So Random
"A classmate from first period in my Jr. year of high school. The teacher just walked in to class and explained that this chick was shot in a drive by at the park."
"I just remember being super uncomfortable and not knowing what to do. The chick that sat behind her in class just lost it. Just shocked looked on her face, and she just started bawling. I'm sure she went home after that."
"I took flowers to the place ware she died. I didn't know her that well at all really. But I thought to myself 'even if you may not feel it, it's always good to pay your respects.' So I did."
"My wife works in a high needs area that is plagued with gang violence. A few years back 4 students were found brutally murdered in the woods (MS13 hit). 2 of them were her students It was highly publicized and everyone knew before the next school day (I believed it happened over a long weekend or a school break)."
"For her breaking news wasn't hard but dealing with the fallout was heartbreaking. Sadness, fear and anxiety not just because of the murders but because of the extreme attention it received (it was highly politicized on the state and national level). Many students are afraid of the gangs but they are also afraid of the police and other authorities. The student body is incredibly vulnerable."
Finally, some people discussed the sudden medical tragedies that took place. Without any backstory, context, or logic to share, delivering this news felt sickening.
"I was a student in a 2nd grade class where this happened. One of my classmate's older brothers had collapsed in the cafeteria. We all saw it. Our teacher had to come in and tell us the little information she knew and I distinctly remember her crying and having to leave the room."
"Days later when the brother was taken off life support they brought in child psychologists to tell us about brain death and life support machines and the hard decision his parents had to make. As an adult I really appreciate the care the school took to make sure everything was explained in a child appropriate manner."
"There was no gossip or whispering because they told us everything that happened. Our teachers even brought us to the funeral, explaining that although it would be sad it was important to show our classmate our support. A horrible situation that was handled as well as it could be given how young we were."
Just Being Kids
"(Student) In middle school I had a friend and his brother die from an electrocution accident from a downed power line after a storm. It was 2 brothers one in 6th grade and one in 5th."
"Everyone was acting weird that day and no one really knew why. Kids were crying and walking out of class, it kind of threw off our whole school day. I remember one of our teacher telling us what happened and got really emotional."
"Apparently a kid who went to our school witnessed what happened too and she basically said don't ask him questions about the situation. It hit her close to home for some reason I don't know why, she couldn't even speak without crying. I knew my old classmate a little bit and we shared a class. He was a really nice kid. RIP to him & his brother."
A Horrifying Fluke
"My son was in the 3rd or 4th grade and one day he came home and said 'P didn't come to school today, her brother died.' It turned out the older brother and mom were playing around at home and she tapped him on the head with the heel of her shoe."
"He laid down to take a nap and died due to a clot or something like that. I can't even imagine."
A Confused Response
"I was the student here, and in 6th grade the teacher and principal both told our class that our classmate had passed. He had bullied me daily. When I heard the news, 11 year old me felt relief, and I never really thought about him again."
"Now, as a more empathetic adult, I feel absolutely horrible that I had that reaction to his death. I don't think as a kid, even in middle school, I truly understood what death was. I would take getting bullied every day over him dying."
"To tie this into the question - I don't envy educators that have to deliver this news at all. Some kids are losing their best friend or classmate, and some kids may not fully comprehend what happened."
Close to Home
"Im a student not a teacher, but the teachers son died from a car accident and he was one of my friends"
"The teacher came in crying and told us there would be a meeting in the auditorium to honor his son, I ended up going home and crying the rest of the day because one of my best friends died"
A Very Sad Start to the Day
"When I was in high school two of my classmates died, one in tenth grade from Reye's Syndrome, the other in eleventh grade from leukemia. In both instances the entire school was notified during the morning announcements over the PA."
Someone To Talk To
"I teach elementary school and a student in an colleague's class (same grade) had a student pass away mid year. The student was sick. I forget what exactly he had, but it was well known he wouldn't live long, and he was frequently out of class due to illness or dr appointments."
"The day after his passing, a grief counselor was brought in and helped explain to the class what death was in a very age appropriate way. I had a couple of students in my class who were friends with the deceased student. I sent them to the grief counselor, and they said it helped a lot."
Unfortunately, when a teacher takes the job they rarely imagine these days as part of the job description. But things like this do happen, and it's so important that kids have teachers when they do.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
On the whole, human society doesn't seem to be able to figure out how to educated students in a way that is effective, inclusive, and energizing.
Instead, most students leave their 12 years of early, middle, and high school full of complaints and frustrations.
And in many ways, it takes some time for the dust to settle. As people grow up, define their values, and learn more about how they tick, the flaws of their education begin to grow more and more obvious.
Curious to know all the ways the education system has screwed up, Redditor Hplr63 asked:
"Students of Reddit, what's something you hate about the current education system?"
Many discussed that the education system struggles to do exactly that--to educate.
"In every education system I believe there is one major mistake. Students have to learn things instead of understanding and thinking them"
All About Metrics
"That grades matter more than actually learning the material" -- Shrexygrass
" 'You've taught me nothing other than how to cynically manipulate the system' - Calvin and Hobbes" -- missedtheboat16
Squashing the Spark
"What we learn."
"Yes school teaches us resilience and skills to score in exams but what do we really learn at all?"
"The current system kills curiosity and interest in learning."
Ruining a Good Thing
"English classes seem hell-bent on making you despise reading."
"They tell you to love reading, then shove a book in your face with mandatory deadlines and assignments, expecting you to memorize pointless info unrelated to the story or message."
"I remember I used to enjoy reading during elementary school, but as of my senior year in high school, that fire's completely extinguished."
Others talked about the ways schools fail the students that have needs beyond learning. Simply put, the human element often appears to be lacking.
"the 0 tolerance policy that makes it impossible to protect yourself from bullying without being in the same amount of trouble as them even if they've beaten you badly and all you did was push them away."
Piling It On
"That most schools don't consider that students have a life. Basically they have sh** to do."
"My brother was showing my mom and I a recorded session from online classes, and the teachers said something about putting more homework, the whole class complained and didnt like it since they're already pressured with work. Then the teacher said 'What!??!?! You're students! All you should be doing in life is homework!' and that's where my brother flipped out."
"It's triggering in every way that she said that. My brother is a programmer and even did a Harvard programming course + he has a side hobby of photography."
Back to Back to Back
"The lack of freedom I get outside of school. If each of my teachers think a half hour of homework a night is good for my education, and six of my seven classes each day assign homework, then I have three hours of homework to do. My schedule is literally just wake up at 6, leave for school at 7:15 (I live pretty far away), go home at 3:20, get home at 4, do homework until 7, then I have three hours for myself, not including dinner and stuff like family events."
"My (terrible, don't try at home) solution to this is just not doing homework. I do good on the tests but.the main reason I'm doing bad in school is that I couldn't care less about the homework because of how much of a waste of time it is. Also, I have ADHD, and the executive dysfunction that comes with it makes my homework take much longer than it needs to."
"I think we 'track' people too early. A lot my friends had major self confidence issues in high school because the system told them they were bad at this or that subject."
"It's fine. People learn things at different paces. The point of education should be to help people to grow, not tell them what they can or can't do."
Last, people talked about the way schools seem so bogged down by the need to handle large numbers of students and needs that they don't create an open environment.
"The inability to have a discussion. The teacher will always be right. The students shouldn't argue or disagree even if they provide evidence or supporting info"
They're Just Selective
"There is a lot that I could rant about but I'm going to just focus on one. I hate it when schools say that they can't do anything, when they really can. Like if a student is being bullied, the teachers don't do anything. But the second a bra strap is showing, they act like it's life or death."
Maybe one day we'll figure out how to do the whole school thing right. But for now, students will still be herded through the flawed approach.
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When word of a high school scandal first gets out, there is about a 45 second buffer period before every single person in the town knows what happened.
Let's face it, normal school days grow mundane pretty quickly. So any form of juicy gossip is exciting to talk about for anybody--students, parents, and even teachers.
And while there are usually a few big scandals in a given four-year period that spans a student's entire high school tenure, there's always one that seems to take the cake.
Redditor CreateAGoodDay asked:
"What is the biggest scandal that's ever happened at your school?"
Many Redditors, of course, recalled the sex scandals. Often, it revolved around an adult teacher acting inappropriately.
Gotta Be a Better Way to Teach That
"One of them was a health class that was trying to show how STDs spread - by asking the student body to 'anonymously' submit who they've slept with."
"Went on for a couple days before that got shut down, lol."
Immediately Dealt With
"One of the teachers at my secondary school had apparently offered higher grades to students if they sent him nudes. As far as I know, nobody every sent them, and the police quickly got involved."
"He ended up getting fired (obviously), and I think he spent a few months in prison. In any case, he's out now, he moved away, and doesn't work in education anymore."
High Tech Perving
"Teaching assistant ran an after-school sports club for a while, the guy was well liked so his club was popular. Then someone discovered his gym bag pointed towards the changing room showers with a camera sticking out."
"His house got raided and the police found a whole library of videos of students from this sports club in the shower. It made the news and he went to prison. He went from being one of the most popular members of staff to the most hated overnight."
And Everyone Knew
"English teacher slept with a senior on the football team. He got a full scholarship to a P5 program and played a few seasons in the NFL as a slot receiver."
"Spanish teacher was pregnant but lost the baby in childbirth. When she came back after the birth she had taken a job at another school closer to her husband and other son and left. After she left I found out she had been screwing some of the boys in the class and sending nude Snapchat's and she actually screwed some in her classroom after graduation."
"Everyone knew, even the principals but they couldn't do anything because no one wanted to be the guy that had screwed her but I know a lot of people had seen the Snapchats."
"She's since been removed from her other teaching job for mental health reasons and her husband has left her. Some people speculate if the baby was even his."
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"History teacher getting divorced, marrying some random fella from far away, getting high at school and sending nudes to him during the breaks... As we were kinda nosy teenagers we went to her computer while she was away and found them... It wasn't that nice..."
Others recalled moments of violence or threats of violence. When the safety and well-being of teenagers is on the line, you can bet that everyone's ears perk up.
"We had a week long string of bomb threats. The first one was legit, but then students realized it would get them out of school early. After the 5th one, administration threatened to add on the days we missed to the end of the school year if it happened again."
"It didn't happen again."
Just Like the Movies
"In college, a girl in my dorm was the daughter of a mafia guy. One night at the bar, a guy gets into an argument with her boyfriend, takes a swing at him and hits her by accident."
"2 days later her father came to campus with the two biggest human beings I have ever seen in person. They went over to the kids dorm, pushed their way into the building and where trying to kick in the door of his room when campus security and the police arrived and got them out. The kid left school that night and never came back."
"A student got sassy with a teacher about a grade and the teacher kicked him out of the room. The student grabbed a pencil and stabbed the assistant teacher in the room. Just in the hand, but still."
"So the teacher goes rage mode and physically marches the student down to the deans office. Everyone is initially furious at the student, he'll be expelled for sure. Assistant teacher is shaken but fine."
"Daddy was a big donor to the school and the kid was on the state championship bound basketball team. Daddy argued with the school, who reverses the expulsion and instead fires the teacher for 'laying hands on a student.' "
"There were walk outs, several other teachers quit, the local news picked it up, the whole nine yards. Nothing changed. The school kept the little ahole to keep Daddy happy and fired a very, very good teacher."
The Ultimate Sacrifice
"This kid had a fake toy grenade and threw it in a classroom. The teacher dove on top of it and began to yell out to the students to go now. That kid got into sooo much trouble and had to transfer to a school out of state since nobody wanted him."
"I have no idea what happened to him but I know that he was hit with absolute crazy charges. Rumors began to spread that he was being sent to prison for insane amount of years."
Peace and Quiet
"In college we had a reported active bomber/shooter situation. Someone called the police and told them he had students held hostage in a library study room and had a bomb in another location."
"After HOURS of standoff, SWAT arriving, news crews, people being located and ID'd, they identified the student."
"Turns out he was in an entirely different building working on a huge project with my roommate and two other students from about 3pm to 11pm. They were working with highly sensitive equipment so none of them had their phones on them."
"The kid left the project to use the restroom around 5:30 and called the cops, then came back and worked on the project for 5 more hours without dropping a hint to his teammates."
"Had a cool english teacher, allegedly an american, which just did not show up one day or the next, he was an external teacher for multiple schools. After asking around a bit, we found out he was not an american, but originally german which spent most of his life in the USA, slowly building his way to be the top dog of one biker gang..."
"...which ran pretty much everything from dope, weapons trafficking, murders, anything. He actually did not show up because the cops came to arrest him to another school, as he was wanted in Austria for kidnapping and attempted murder."
"A student was pregnant, hid the pregnancy from her parents, had the baby at home while her parents were at work, and the baby died. Then a lengthy court case followed because they were never able to determine if she killed the baby or the baby died of natural causes."
"They were a pretty prominent family in the area too. It was quite a spectacle. It came out that she had had several abortions prior, and her uncle got in trouble for threatening the judge. Oh and did I mention we were a Catholic school?"
"She went to prison. Not sure what happened to her after that."
And of course, there was horrifying bathroom behavior to consider.
An Infamous Title
"Someone was writing messages in human feces all over the walls of the men's bathrooms. They were dubbed 'The Fecal Terrorist.' It went on for a surprisingly long time before the culprits were caught."
"Turns out the reason it took so long was because it was actually two guys, and they would alternate committing acts of fecal terrorism while the other one had a solid alibi."
This Time, Self-Titled
"There was a period in high school where a kid was writing 'I'm the chocolate sailor.' In poop on the bathroom wall. Then it stopped for a month or two but the next note read 'return of the chocolate sailor' I don't think the culprit was ever caught. But it was an odd thing ill never forget."
Just when you thought your school was weird or uncomfortable, here's a list to remind us that there's weird people with poor judgment everywhere you go.
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Having a favorite subject can make or break a school day for you.
And then a teacher goes and ruins it.
What was a subject you loved in school, but a teacher ruined it for you?
It takes a lot of effort to be a bad teacher. Most of the time, students are there to try and get something from you.
Anything. Literally, anything.
So when you show up to work every day, unprepared, ready to be a roadblock between a child and their education, you must be exerting extra effort to slow things down.
Point Out What A Student Considers Their Flaws
"wanted to like PE/gym like my peers, but the teacher actively made fun of me for being short/small/slow. i ended up with a lifelong fear of exercise, especially in public."
"the good news is, just a few years ago, i finally moved past my fear (therapy is awesome) and started going to the gym daily. eventually i not only enjoyed it, but it became a source of stress/anxiety relief. i would still be there every day, but pandemic restrictions..."
Refusing To Give The Help You Need
"Math and Chemistry."
"Mrs. White. Math teacher was condescending and annoying. I had been in advanced honor-roll math up until this one lesson in high school that I didn't quite catch. Instead of explaining it clearly or finding a different way to explain it - she just kept demanding I finish the work. She finally explained it differently in the most obvious way possible and I remember standing next the to board in Extra Help - which I had never needed in my life - and I just said "Why on earth didn't you explain it like that months ago?"."
"By that time I was too far behind in the class and I've never been interested enough to get back into it as I'm now decades behind."
"Chemisty. I thought chemistry was so bloody awesome when I went into it. To this day: decades later, I've never had a teacher that was simply such an unfathomable bore as that guy. I couldn't stand it."
"I literally dropped the class because the level of boredom was actually making me angry."
A Bore's Bore
"Physics. My teacher is just really lazy she reads the PowerPoint, tells us to write things down then gives us a worksheet."
"If your always tired, either find a solution or don't become a teacher."
And who could have ever predicted that actors are dramatic?
Choosing Future Stars And Starlets
"Teacher had favorites and it showed. She also sang over me in our class play because other students forgot their lines... so she just started singing the whole thing."
Not As Important As You Think
"I loved theater. Or drama as we called it. Then one day the asst principal walked in and said "the school no longer has a drama department due to budget concerns, this is now study hall."
"So that kinda ruined it for me I guess. The football team had new uniforms and a scoreboard the following month too."
Fighting Back Against The Line-Reading Man!
"Our grade school music teacher did this. I wasn't into acting but we had a couple of kids who were already pretty good by 6th grade."
"She would speak out every line to "help" everyone on stage. A friend and I were given a brief scene in 8th grade where we were supposed to have one line each because every 8th grader was required to be in the play."
"After the first dress rehearsal we decided we'd improvise our lines so she couldn't talk over us."
"Performance for the school we get a few chuckles and teacher gets mad we didn't use the lines in the script."
"Performance for parents and family we amped it up to 11 and get the whole audience laughing at our two lines that turned into four (which were supposed to be funny in the original script) and teacher is so frustrated she stops narrating the rest of the script."
"Didn't ruin it for me, but I always wonder if she put a few of the others off performing."
You want a teacher to be exciting, engaging, and overall, interesting with the material they're teaching you.
Less time spent listening to boring lectures and more time spent interacting with your classmates about the topic, synthesizing projects from the material, and actually try to learn something.
These teachers might have taken it too far.
Flipping The Script
"A Psychology teacher in high school that told the whole class we were pathetic and that not one of us would pass exams. She said that she was leaving teaching the following year because our class had completely ruined the job for her."
"She routinely told us she hated us, and that we were all going nowhere in life."
"We all banded together out of sheer mutual hatred with a pact to prove her wrong, studied our @sses off and no one in the class got below an A."
"The next year, she showed up to work smiling and laughing like none of it ever happened. The b-tch reverse-psychologied us."RubyJadeDiamond
Bullied By Parents?
"French. We used to have such a great french teacher but parents didn't seem to like her and she had to leave because the parents actually bullied her."
"Then we got a different teacher who I didn't get along with at all and my grades dropped so badly, I never recovered."
"Another subject was art. However it was just temporary."
"I was always somewhat good in drawing and I was creative and had good grades in art. But our next teacher was... weird and tend to give big chested girls better grades on top of that."
"Needless to say, grades dropped from A's to D's"
"And last subject that was ruined forever was Religion. I never really believed in god but this teacher shoved religion so much down our throats that I began to hate religion and everyone who is religious."
"I had terrible prejudices against religious people and really HATED anything that had to do with god. It took me years after school to accept that religious people aren't all like my teacher..."
Maybe The Worse Thing You Can Say To A Student
"I use to love creative writing and would always get great feedback from previous teachers....until my 6th grade ultra conservative teacher gave me bad marks for "writing too much" and "having a wild imagination".
"I completely lost my passion for writing after that. FTB!"
Teaching is hard. That's never been the issue.
It's finding the right person who can do it well, and not kill a student's passion, that's always been the trouble.
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There's a show on Hulu called A Teacher that made me think about the repercussions of a teacher having an illicit affair with a seventeen-year-old student.
While the controversial topic is justifiably subject to condemnation, the show delicately depicted each characters' emotional turmoil and their families in the aftermath.
While many in these types of forbidden relationships don't end well, Redditor Sadebiru was curious to hear from those familiar with the situation and asked:
These Redditors faced immediate disciplinary consequences for their involvement in their respective intimacies, but one suffered emotional trauma for years.
The Trauma Of Being Used
"My English teacher used me as a sperm donor. She slept with me until she got pregnant and then stopped. She didn't even bother to switch schools so I wouldn't know. This was about 50 years ago and it still crosses my mind and bothers me. So the fallout on my side was being mentally messed up for about 4 years and not being able to have a normal sexual relationship for a long time."
Predatory Soccer Coach
"I had a very inappropriate relationship with the assistant soccer coach. His contract was not renewed the next year and I was the subject of gossip, obviously, and labeled the school sl*t by my classmates. It was a very small private school so there was literally no way to keep anything secret. It was only later on I realized he'd taken advantage of me and was, obviously, a sicko who knew I'd fall for the flattery of an older guy the rest of the girls on the team thought was cute."
Sleeping With The P.E. Teacher
"My cousin Adrian slept with the physical education teacher. It was in the mid 1980s, and it right near the end of the school year. She was immediately transferred and he lost his school reference and was suspended for the remainder of the year, which was like four weeks from memory."
"he was no angel. He was an absolute player and he said he has no ill feelings about the whole thing at all. It didn't affect his schooling any further after that and he said he absolutely seduced her, it wasn't the other way around."
Left "Morally Conflicted" About Taking Action
"It was horrible. I was groomed by my English teacher. He said all the right things and I thought I was emotionally mature enough to handle it. I was not."
"I realized when I was 19 how messed up it was and very quietly told the bishop and the Victims of Sexual Misconduct Councilor (catholic school). My worst fear was that it was going to be a big public scandal and I didn't want my family's name dragged through the mud. So he permanently lost his teaching license."
"He is now dating a woman and I want to reach out to her so bad to her to ask if she knows, but at the same time I want that chapter of my life to end. I'm very morally conflicted."
"I had a little intercourse with the replacement French teacher after class, first gay time for him, never did it again. He spent the rest of the year looking at everyone but me in class and dodging every occasion to interact with me, definitively out of shame. But idk if it's because he slept with a student, had gay sex or did it in the classroom we were in atm."
"Towards the end of the 70's, I was in a boarding school, and a student in a class above mine slept with one of the kindergarten teachers. He must have been about 16, she in her twenties. Since he was in his final year, he passed out, and from what I last heard, he was doing well in life. She on the other hand was not allowed back to school."
Instead of suffering a fallout per se, the following Redditors reflected on their flirtatious entanglements.
Creepy But Without Incident
"There were no real ramifications."
"In high school I was in a unique study program. Because I was smart enough to do the schoolwork on my own but didn't bother attending class, they let me do all my work at home and I only had to go in once a week to take tests. This let me work more, not have to figure out how to get to school, get As, and learn more. I was being moved around a lot, so for a while I had to do this program at a different school."
"I had to meet with the teacher privately in his office for about an hour. Of course he was a creepy old man so after months of him hitting on me eventually we ended up meeting up one day to screw. I was in the program because I didn't go to school, so while I did my schoolwork I missed the next couple weeks and so he showed up at my work panicked over my lack of attendance. Since he probably got scared over that and the potential ramifications he didn't hit on me anymore afterwards and eventually I moved again and went to a different school."
"I had a long affair with a college professor. He broke my heart, of course. After about 15 years. I don't think anyone knew except maybe a couple of my friends who never said anything. I was older than my classmates, so it wasn't so bad. Til it was, but that was years later, after I graduated."
"Nothing since I was 6 years out of high school by that point."
"We became friends a couple years after I graduated, eventually I told her I had something of a crush on her, she thought it was cute and flattering and sat on it for a while. One day she invites me out and we meet up, have a good time, we leave. Later that night she texts me when I'm work says she's got feelings too and wants to pursue it."
"We go on a couple more dates, see a movie (The Watch for those wondering), make out in her car afterwards like a couple horny teenagers. We do the deed that night, good times."
"Anyway, the age gap was something she couldn't get over, I was 25 and she was 48, different places in our lives with different goals. We still chat though."
The Chinese Teacher
"She was my Chinese teacher at a Confucius Institute, and is almost 10 years older than me, but I always had a minor crush on her."
"When her contract was about to expire and had to leave my country, we went out to dinner. She was leaving for one last trip before returning to China, so this would be the last time I would see her. I decided to take a shot and told her about my crush. We slept together that night."
"There wasn't really a fallout. We are still in contact, but don't really talk about that night."
One And Done
"Gay dude here. It wasn't my teacher, but just a professor at my school. He contacted me via an app. I was feeling desperate, so I invited him over. Did the deed. He messaged a few days later, asking for another session, but I politely declined. Same thing happened a few days later. He took the hint, and I never heard from him again."
The following academic flings were either highly erotic or wound up being blissful.
"Too Riskey To Continue"
"A few people found out and gave me sh*t about it, but really not a big deal for me personally. It was obviously more difficult for her. Rumours got back to other teachers who were not cool with it and she had some awkward conversations to navigate with the headteacher. She admitted we saw each other outside of school but denied anything sexual, which they did not seem to believe. She was told never to be alone with me and had restrictions placed on her ability to act as a chaperone on school trips etc."
"It didn't last as it was obvious it was too risky to continue but there was no bad feeling between us."
The French Teacher
"I slept with my French teacher about 5 years after leaving school, she was just as as I'd always imagined."
"Afternoon Office Nookie"
"It was in college, we slept together before we knew I was in her class. It was one of those lecture only classes with like 200 students in it so it wasn't a big deal."
"No fallout beyond some late afternoon office hook up now and then."
"She would text me pictures of what she was wearing under her outfit that day. I miss being young."
"The Best Thing That Ever Happened"
"I started dating the grad student that was teaching one of my undergrad classes, although because I took time off before going to uni and he started early I was actually older than him."
"The uni had rules against the sort of thing, of course. We weren't found out until the spring quarter, at which time we were told to cease and desist, but by the time this happened we were engaged."
"The administration were happy for us (and we were all friends there, the department was like one big family), so instead they told us that for the rest of the year my exams and juries would have to be handled by another professor and that our class sessions would be recorded to be sure there was no funny business or nepotism."
"20 years on, we're still married - it was the best thing that ever happened to either of us!"
In rare cases, some students have glorified their dalliances with teachers and bragged about their conquests among their peers.
Some – as those participating in this thread – expressed the absence of fallout or lack of emotional trauma.