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Bisexuals Share The Differences Between Hooking Up With Men And Women

Bisexuals Share The Differences Between Hooking Up With Men And Women
Willie B. Thomas/Getty Images

Women and men truly are a separate species, each with our own quirks and personalities. While that could be chalked up to individual upbringings combined with societal norms, there also may be something biological at play.

However, sometimes it's easier to meet the person and see what they're like. Bisexuals fortunately have the privilege of interacting with both sexes on an intimate level and, thanks to the internet, reveal the knowledge they've discovered.


Reddit user Rob-ThaBlob wanted to know:

Bisexuals of Reddit what are the differences between having sex with a male and a female?

It's All In The Intensity And Power

"I'm a man, and I like both, being with a woman is fun and passionate and smooth, being with a guy is hot and wild, and a lot more intense. Just my opinion."

fosterprice9

"Top or bottom in M/M?"

TheFlacidM

"I would consider myself a bottom, Most of the men I have been with have been more aggressive which I like and naturally I respond to a more submissive nature, I find it very fun to not be in control and see what happens, when most of the men I've been with have been much stronger than I, I like to be in control as much as I like to be out of control. I love being with men either way."

fosterprice9

You Know The Set-Up Pretty Well

"In my limited experience I've found that sex with other women is kind of easier. I've just had more practice with vaginas, I know what feels good for me and (so far) it translates easily to what feels good for other women. Sex with men isn't any less pleasurable, it just takes longer for me to figure out what feels good for them, especially since men tend to be less vocal in bed (which is a huge bummer, please don't be afraid to make noise to let your partner know they're doing something right)."

"Spending time figuring out what a new partner likes can be fun too, but with other women I always feel like I've got a head start (wink wink)"

caimanteeth

Primal and Instinctive

"The differences for me personally are that with men I am more submissive but with women I am wayyyy more dominant. Sex with men feels like a job that just needs to be finished vs with women it feels so primal and instinctive. If that makes sense..."

[usernamedeleted]

Connection: Not Established

"I feel like when I (female) had a one night stand with another female, I always seemed more intimate than a one night stand with a male."

"With girls, it just seemed closer for some reason."

"With guys, there was always some sort of disconnect."

wierdoginger

Power Vs. Fun

"Sex with a guy feels way more powerful, and sex with a woman feels more like fun. However, if you in love with her then it's pretty intense."

"Also hookups with guys feels much different and almost more sexy."

DefeatedDestiny

Talk It Over With Your Partner

"Ive had a conversation about this with my SO once. We're both [bi] but he's a dude I'm a girl."

"for bi guys, sex with men means you got to take something, which is a whole unique experience you may not be into. But also Sex with men doesn't last as long as Sex with women."

"For girls, sex with women lasts much longer. Sure you can dominate If you're into that, but unless you got toys, nobody's really on top. Also it's so much easier to tell a girl what you want, and it never hurts like a dude in your a-- would. (Unless you're into that) as you can tell I prefer women in bed. Pretty biased."

"For both of us though, the dom and the sub switches. We both prefer to dom women and sub to men."

Inforgreen3

After A While, You'll Know For Sure

"Dudes are pretty easy to get off."

"Women take a bit of figuring out."

Magidex42

"And with women, you can never be sure they actually got off, too."

gianecchinisbf

There's Power In The Feeling

"Bi M"

"Men with other men have an intensity of sexual energy unmatched by any other pairing. Generally speaking. It's like an ever intensifying feedback loop. The heights of animalistic lust experienced with f-cking a man are indescribable. Like you can almost feel it permeating the air."

"There's a few women I've been with able to replicate this, but not many."

sdparquinn

Perhaps It Means Something Different

"I'm a big fan of female partners getting rough with me (choking, slapping, etc) but that is totally off limits if I'm with a male partner. I don't know if that's just because I've typically only had flings/one nighters with guys (as opposed to relationships with women) so there's not been the opportunity to build trust, but that's the big difference I've noticed for me."

et-regina

Easy Lure

"Guy here. Honestly, the biggest difference is that it's way easier to sleep with a guy than a girl. I have no idea how to go about attracting a woman. I'm pushing 30 and they're still a mystery to me. Guys? It's a lot easier and you don't even have to be very attractive to find someone who'll sleep with you."

Misterlulz

Gets The Job Done

"Every woman I've slept with doesn't stop until I'm finished."

"Can't say that for every man, lol."

butternoodz

Physicality Levels Vary

"Other than the obvious... I would say that in sex women are gentle even when they are rough and men are rough even when they are gentle. That's not exactly right.... but its true though. And I don't just mean the act of penetration receiving vs giving. The only thing that doesn't line up with this is receiving oral sex from a man as man, which is amazingly gentle and good (or can be). But giving oral sex... way more physical thanon a woman. Even kissing is somehow more... physical, less gentle. A lot of the other answers are also true."

guitarmanEG140

Act vs. Context

"Everyone's different, but in general: Men are about the ACT, women are about the CONTEXT."

"If a guy wants to screw you, or wants to do something specific they just want to do it. A freight train could be bearing down on them and they'd go "well, we've got time before it gets here, best not waste it".

"What a girl wants to do is very, very much more determined by how she feels about you specifically, how sexy she finds the environment, what else is happening in her life, the fluidity of the communication, and the expectations (or lack thereof) for a relationship."

SamuraiWisdom

It's All In The Perception

"Bi M"

"for me it's a lot like getting dinner"

"sometimes I want a nice intimate night out with a diverse menu and great service (being with a woman)"

"and sometimes I'm drunk, it's 3am, and I just need to find a place that's still open (being with a guy)"

draxlaugh

Like Making Love To A Carpet

"In my experience women tend to care more about how they're perceived than dudes do. They doll up, they get sexy, they shave their legs. Guys dont really do that. Most of the time it's like "oh I'm gonna get laid". Even when chicks are just DTF they're not just throwing on sweat pants."

"Dudes tend to make awkward small talk more often. Probably because our minds focus on the end goal more than the act. Also, hair EVERYWHERE"

"Save the planet, shave."

ShaggyTheFoxx

They're Not Radio Knobs

"My only real big difference is the nipples. Girls are softer and more sensual, guys tend to play with them like they're trying to twist open a bottle of Coke."

golfing_furry

Change The Questions

"Women don't ask other women "did you come" because 1. they know what a fake orgasm looks like and 2. they know the orgasm is not the whole entire point of sex."

"I strongly encourage men to learn from this latter point. Ask "how was it for you' or something. Don't ask "did you come," we don't always and it doesn't mean anything went wrong and it's no big deal unless you insist it is."

lizrnyc

Positioning It Right

"For me, the biggest difference in the power exchange. With women, I'm way more toppish and with men, way more bottom-ish."

"The sex itself is different but mostly just due to the parts."

neiiif36d

"However,...all of those reasons are why M/F sex is great... because of the sharing of feeling and sensation. And oral can be done as often as partners like. And anyone can and SHOULD learn to read their partners body language."

"So, for me... lesbian sex means you take turns focusing on the other person almost exclusively, while hetero sex means you get to enjoy the sensations simultaneously or separately."

Fang_Jolima

What an interesting read! Love is love is love is love.

Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.