Top Stories
The Dumbest Questions Ever Asked

The Dumbest Questions Ever Asked

Unreasonable People Get Brutal Clapbacks

Unreasonable People Get Brutal Clapbacks

The Dumbest Person I Know

The Dumbest Person I Know

The Sneakiest Customer Ploys

The Sneakiest Customer Ploys

Bilingual People Share Their Best 'They Don't Know I Speak Their Language' Experiences

Bilingual People Share Their Best 'They Don't Know I Speak Their Language' Experiences
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Knowing a second--or third or fourth--language is like possessing a secret power.

You walk around looking like everybody else, you appear completely unassuming, and yet you have access to entire realms of conversation occurring all around you.

The best part? All the eavesdropping.

When people don't know you can understand them, you're liable to hear all sorts of things--things about you that they'd rather you never heard.

Some Redditors shared their best stories from those moments.

msgbubba asked, "Bilingual people of reddit what is your best 'they don't know that I speak their language' story?"

Ghost Train

"I'm white. Was in Beijing on a train, and had a little kid (like, 4 or 5) call me a white ghost in Mandarin. I stared him down at which point he asked if I understood him."

"I nodded, and he proceeded to hug his mom terrified. 😂"

-- Dipsendorf

Parting Discomfort 

"The tube in London"

"Two girls talking very explicit about their sex partners the Night before,in Swedish."

"Me and My mates all telepathically knew to Keep our mouths shut and dont look at them."

"When we got to our stop we loudly spoke Swedish so we knew they would hear :p"

-- Senalmoondog

Captive Audience 

"My cousin and her friend were on a ski lift in the US, and these guys on the lift with them started speaking Chinese."

"The whole ride was like, 'Look at these two American-born Chinese girls. They speak to each other in English. They don't even know Chinese. How pathetic.'"

"They all exit the lift. My cousin and her friend turn to one another and start conversing very loudly (and fluently) in Chinese. Apparently, the looks on the guys' faces were priceless."

-- birdwalk

Mingling

"I once went to a party where most of the people where English exchange students and i'm Dutch but fluent in English and there where these 2 girls saying things like 'Omg i know for a fact that Dutch guy doesn't even speak English he looks like such a ret*rd.'"

"And 'He looks like he is having a hard time understanding us.' All i did was look over to them and said 'Well thanks for the compliment but i'm going to look for some nicer company.'"

"Almost seating area erupted in giggles meanwhile i smiled towards the door."

-- TheDutchfella2001

Two Assumptions

"I speak English and Russian, but this is happen to someone else. In high-school we were leaving school with a whole bunch of us Russian speaking students. Pretty much we all hung out together."

"As were are walking 3 of us there is an Asian guy who is walking about 6 feet behind us. One of my friends turns to us and says in Russian 'why is this Chinese kid walking with us. I noticed him following us since we left the school grounds.'"

"Next thing we know we hear a voice from the back reply in Russian 'I'm not Chinese, I'm Korean.'"

-- Imispellalot

Polyglot Power

"Portugal has a lot of emigrants in France, and they enjoy vacating in their home country, but when they return, they like playing the fool with their countrymen by speaking in French."

"Well, I'm fluent in 7 languages, including French, and I used to work at a general store to pay for my tuitions, so from time to time, I'd get these a**holes asking me for help while trash talking me in French and I would fake I didn't understand them..."

"...and curse them back in Portuguese to see if they reacted, and if they did, I would trash them in French and would call security on them in case they tried to press a complaint."

"Let's just say I liked my time in the supermarket more than most."

-- TudoCasual

An Interesting Apology

"Half black half Japanese here. When I was in a train at japan there were two women judging me, called me 'black monster' in Japanese, I turned around and asked 'who's a black monster?" in Japanese..."

"...they started bowing their heads really quickly and gave me a bag of marshmallows as a gift of apology, even when I told them it's fine lol"

-- b8ednm8ed

5 Star Rating Probably Took a Hit

"An Uber saying in Spanish over the phone that had to drive me and I was ugly."

"I didn't talk in all the time I was in the car but when I got out of the car I said to him (in Spanish) 'thanks for your compliment! Have a good day.'"

-- Mbeheit

Not a Baby and Not an Idiot

"I was young, like 9, and I was going on this huge roller coaster. I was kinda shivering (it was really big, ok) and the couple behind me started laughing and talking in Hindi. Saying stuff, look at this little baby and stuff like that."

"So as I got on the ride , I turned back and said in Hindi, I understand Hindi you know, so shut up. I will never forgot the looks on their face as I ascended."

"And the ride was actually really fun, went on it like 5 times."

-- Xeno1224

Cutting Corners 

"My origins trace back to Southern Asia and I was born in Europe. My parents speak their native language and I had picked it up overtime. I once went to a restaurant and ordered some wings and patiently waited."

"The guy at the counter told his employee to pack the remaining food from last night and leave the today's item fresh. I simply said 'Hey, I like the fresh food, Thanks.'"

"He was so shocked and gave me some extra food."

-- AzyCrw4282

Cussing in a Desperate Moment

"Delivered a patient's baby and while repairing her tear she was uncomfortable and called me a bi*** and a wh*re in Spanish. I responded with 'now that's not very nice to say to someone holding a needle near your bottom.'"

"Everyone in the room just stared as the patient's mouth opened and closed a few times before she apologized and said it hurt."

-- crruss

Graphic Secrets

"One time I traveled to Argentina, and I'm pretty good with Spanish. However, I'm white, blonde, and I have blue eyes."

"Sometimes girls would talk about me in Spanish. I don't know if they thought I would understand them, but their conversations seemed pretty.... personal...."

-- SaveTheClams

Too Embarrassed to Tip

"Waited tables on TX-MX border. Couple didn't know I speak Spanish fluently and he called me 'f*ggot' in Spanish multiple times, to the wife's total embarrassment."

"I waited for her to get up to go to the restroom after clearing their dishes and I told him in perfect Spanish, 'When you're ready to pay I'll be your cashier.'"

"His eyes got wide and he asked me if I really spoke Spanish. My response: 'Yes, but I understand more than what I speak.'"

"Got $0 in tips from them but I have a story I like to tell."

-- Bibber_Song

Hiding Raunchiness in Plain Sight

"Half of my family is Amish, and speak Pennsylvania Dutch. Little did they know, I'd picked up on quite a few words."

"One day my parents were talking about sex and sh*t in Dutch. (My dad taught my mom Dutch, since he knew it and his half of the family spoke it.) They were making a ton of sex jokes like just plain yelling, "big boobs" or dumb sh*t like that."

"They realized when I started smiling that I knew what they were saying and they instantly shut up."

"Glad I'm older now, and I'm allowed to laugh at the jokes now. Keeping a straight face was f*cking difficult."

-- Choco-Late-Malk

Busted

"A substitute teacher came in to teach my Music lessons. Two kids who speak Spanish were mocking him (I assume, based on the tone of their voices, they were speaking Spanish and I only speak English) then they started laughing at the teacher."

"Anyway, he goes up to them, looks straight down at them, and breaks into fluent Spanish."

-- MrMagnificent1234

Confirmed

"My ex roommate is bi and overheard a gay couple commenting on how attractive the cashier was when we were having lunch at a Panda Express."

"After my ex roommate got his meal, he slowly passed by the couple and quietly told them that they were absolutely right."

-- pighalf

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

From Your Site Articles
bilingual

People Explain What They Bought With Their First-Ever Paycheck

Reddit user MisterChiTown92 asked: 'What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?'

Person fanning out wad of $100 bills
Alexander Mils/Unsplash

Working a first job is an important part of growing up.

Whether it's working a paper route (do kids even do this anymore?) or working at a video rental store (do those even exist anymore?) first-ever part-time jobs establish important life values and lessons to the youth.

Also, there's nothing that validates accomplishment at a young age more than being able to buy something with their hard-earned money.

Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor MisterChiTown92 asked:

"What did you buy with your first ever work paycheck?"

These generous Redditors found value in paying it forward.

Dinner's On Me

"It was 1976, I was making a whopping $2.50/hour at age 16 (20 cents higher than minimum wage, and it was an office job so I wasn't on my feet all day)....my family didn't have a lot of money (which is why I started working while in the 11th grade), so with my first paycheck I took my Mom and brothers out to dinner at Big Boy. I remember being all proud to say 'Get whatever you want, even the combo meal and a milkshake, it's on me."'

– Ouisch

Dinner Miscalculation

"I took my mom out to a fancy French restaurant. I had no idea how much it was going to cost, then plus tip, I didn’t even have enough! So she had to help me pay the rest. My mom still joke about that from time to time when we go out with the family."

"That was almost 25 yrs ago, damn time flew by."

– jonwtc

Gift For Mom

"I bought my mother a beautiful shawl. I never saw her wear it but it was in with her things when she died nearly 50 years later."

– WakingOwl1

These Redditors got to reward themselves with the things they enjoy most.

Creating Memories

"About twenty bucks of my first paper route earnings, for the pizza buffet and soft drinks, and some arcade games, with my best friend."

"While the shape I've been in has varied over the years, I've kept that stamina I built up hauling around damn near my weight in newsprint. For long endurance rides, hikes with a loaded-up pack, and running."

– ArmsForPeace84

Brand New Kicks

"I was 14 and got a job as a bus boy at a local BBQ joint. With my first check, I went and bought myself a pair of blue/brown Airwalk shoes. I remember how cool it felt to be able to buy something for myself and not have to ask my parents."

– johnnybmagic

Scoring Big Time

"A Playstation 2. Excellent buy, kept it for a over decade before buying an Xbox One."

– Birdo-the-Besto

"It was an Xbox 360 for me. Loved that console."

– HabeLinkin

"Still have a modded PS2. Had a hard drive with games on it too. It still turns on last I checked, I wonder if the hard drive still works..."

–DubaU

A Timeless Treasure

"My family owned a construction business, and my father had me on site for as long as I could remember. I don't remember the first thing I ever bought with what he paid me, but I remember the first thing I set out to buy and had to work for weeks to get the money for. It was a Lego castle set. $49. I'm almost 50 now, and I still have it."

– Spodson

Naughty Pleasures

"lol I bought a candy g-string so I could eat it off of my girlfriend while she was wearing it, and a black cowboy hat with spikes on it from Hot Topic hahaha"

– dirtydickmf

Some recalled having to prioritize taking care of business over indulgences.

The Necessities

"gasoline and insurance to continue to be able to go to work."

– TurpitudeSnuggery

"I remember getting my first paycheck being so proud of it and my stepfather goes wow you don't have enough for gas. How are you getting to work for the next two weeks? Made me realize I needed to work more."

"I should also put in here that this was my first on the books paycheck. Made it feel a little different."

– truelydorky

Saving Up For Wheels

"Used to mow lawns and do odd jobs for cash when I was a kid. When I got my first 'real' paycheck that I had to cash at a bank, I saved every penny for several months until I bought my first car at age 16."

"Had zero expenses back then, which made it easy to save money. Fun memory."

– YupHio

Building A Wardrobe

"Clothes."

"I had to start working at the age of 12 because my parents could no longer afford to buy clothes for me."

– Opposite-Purpose365

I worked at a video game store in the mall when I was 15.

I was miserable being stuck behind a counter in a tiny corner store with hardly any adequate air circulation. Working with a personality-clashing co-worker didn't help things either.

But when I got my first paycheck, I remember thinking it was a major milestone and reward for enduring the unpleasant work conditions.

I used my first-ever earnings on a denim jacket from the Gap at the mall where I worked. I wore that stone-washed jacket with pride at school for years.

What was your most prized purchase from your first paycheck?

job

People Break Down The Most WTF Things They've Ever Seen At A Wedding

man and woman at wedding with balloons
Álvaro CvG on Unsplash

Weddings are built up to be magical events heralding a happily ever after for the newly minted spouses.

But like any major life event, a lot can go wrong.

Weather, illness, natural disasters, relationship drama, family squabbles... you name it and someone, somewhere has seen it at a wedding.

Keep reading...Show less
relationships

The Best Examples Of 'They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To'

assorted items at antique shop
Christelle BOURGEOIS on Unsplash

Growing up we used a can opener, toaster and hand mixer that my Mother received as wedding gifts. She was married in 1966 and those small appliances were still working well into the 1990s.

When Mum sold her house and downsized, she decided to get new small appliances that matched. The old but still functioning ones were avocado green, stainless and harvest gold.

Since then I've gone through countless electric can openers, toasters and hand mixers and none worked as well or as long as those ones from the 1960s.

The ones with moving parts don't have the same power as the old ones and the toasters all lose heating coils in just a few years.

My complaints about small appliances are mirrored by many.

Keep reading...Show less
nostalgia

Double Standards That Make People Angry

angry girl in black and white striped shirt
Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

Double standards are an unfortunate part of society.

A double standard is when two or more individuals or sets of people are treated differently when they should be treated the same.

A good example is the difference in the way my brother and I are treated when we cook. I'm big on baking and have a natural talent for it. Whenever I bake anything, even something complicated, like cheesecake, I'm given minimal praise, if any at all. This is because I'm a woman, and in my family culture, women are expected to be able to bake.

My brother isn't as good a baker as me and rarely does it, but when he does, he is praised for subpar brownies because he's a man and it's amazing he can even cook as well as he does.

I'm not the only one who has experience with this.

Redditors have identified many double standards in society and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor Extreme-Minute-4746 asked:

"What double standards make you angry?"

Civil Service

"As a federal government employee, why do I have to follow all kinds of ethics rules, but politicians and judges don’t?"

– mittychix

"F**k, right? I have to spend six weeks reviewing documentation and hearing out dozens of random companies to award a £100k contract but the minister who runs my department can give his mate's company a multi-million£ contract to run ferries without even getting quotes - DESPITE THAT COMPANY NOT HAVING AND FERRIES AND THE PORT IN QUESTION NOT HAVING CAPACITY FOR THEM."

"I left the civil service after that one."

– Disco_is_Death

"This. Yeah I could get in trouble for accepting a gift over $50 (like I have that much influence anyway) but politicians and judges get lobbied millions..it's infuriating."

– gtbeam3r

"Yes. And they get to keep their jobs for being completely dysfunctional, but if I pulled a fraction that garbage, I’d be fired."

– TrekJaneway

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

"That some people expect you to respect their no, whilst they will most definitely not respect yours."

– IvyBloodroot

"On that note, respecting someone as an authority is often equated to respecting someone as an individual."

"Eg. Teachers who say if you don't respect me (as a superior), I won't respect you (as a person), when they're really not the same thing."

– Paperonia

The Bullied

"School bullying."

"The kid getting picked on has essentially no power. Go to a teacher? Get labeled a snitch and tattle tale. Don't do anything? You're just made an easier target. The moment they fight back, they're the ones who end up dealing with detention, suspension, expulsion, etc. You have more power as a bully in the schools than the victim."

– FriskeCrisps

"It's because bullied people are usually rule followers, and the school wants the problem dealt with as quickly as possible. Best way to do that is to expect the rule follower to follow rules, rather than the rule breaker to suddenly change their ways."

"Fairness ends up on the chopping block."

– darsynia

Services Cliff

"I'm 41 years old and have Cerebral Palsy. If I try to find anything related to the disease - how to deal with it, any kind of ongoing care - it is virtually impossible because all the care is just for children with CP. It's like once you turn 18 the world just doesn't care anymore."

– Zechnophobe

"I’m autistic and in the same boat. “How to deal with a child who…” I'M ASKING FOR ME."

– aroaceautistic

A Two-Way Street

"People who are obsessed with the idea of kids being respectful towards adults, but don't treat kids with respect in turn."

"Edit for example: I went to a very old-fashioned school where the rule was that when an adult entered the room, even in the library and break/lunch, every student in the room had to immediately fall silent - mid sentence, mid word, didn't matter - and stand up until we were given permission to sit back down again. If we didn't, we were chewed out and sometimes even given detentions. The argument was that it trained us into respect, but I was also brought up to believe it's rude to interrupt, and it felt like the teachers were constantly interrupting us."

– MerylSquirrel

"My father in law is like that. He’s “kids should be seen and not heard” type of old school."

"But then he wonders why the children in the family all steer clear of him and why they disregard most things he says."

– Macintosh0211

Doctor, Doctor

"This might be a bit controversial, but I’ve come across a couple of doctors who demand special treatment away from work but preach and practice treating all their patients equally."

– kimchi-pancake

"They charge you a fee or cancel if you’re 5 minutes late but have no problem leaving you waiting for hours. I’ve waited an hour in the lobby and another in the actual examination room."

– SadComfort8692

"Same! i can understand if it’s out of their control but i could hear her, clear as day, giggling with her coworkers about her weekend. i waited 20 in the lobby and 20 in the exam room. i love a good gab but, for f**k’s sake, do it later! if i yapped outside for 20 minutes, it would be a $50 fee and another 4 month long wait to be seen again."

"I suddenly had a $50 i-can-hear-you-nattering-through-the-wall fee. she laughed but it’s been collecting interest ever since…"

– manyfeetball

Alcohol Is Alcohol

"Beer drinkers act like they aren’t alcoholics because they don’t drink hard liquor. Ok sir you just drank 25 beers and then looked at me sideways for drinking a g&t at the family reunion."

– Brainfog_shishkabob

"Same goes for the “sophisticated” wine drinkers..."

"Stop judging me for enjoying a drink on the terrace a few times a year, when you empty 1-2 bottles each evening..."

– 2Madam_Mimmm

"That’s definitely the way it is. I’ve got a snotty alcoholic family member, that THINKS she’s sophisticated, because she drinks high dollar wine, out of very expensive glasses."

"Yeah, pissing yourself and passing out, in front of the mailbox, are definitely the traits of a sophisticated person."

– sweathogbrooklyn

Mr. Mom

"Fathers taking care of their kids."

"I take my kids to doctor appointments, dentist appointments, take them to school, and pick them up. I do all that stuff."

"Every single f**king time, it's, “Dad’s babysitting today?” Or some stupid comment like that. No, I’m not babysitting. I’m being a f**king parent!"

"I hate the double standard that dads can’t do stuff like that with their kids."

"I can’t take my daughter to the park without being questioned or looked at funny either."

"People need to give dads more respect. A lot of us bust our a**es too. I work hard. I take care of my kids, I play with my kids. I clean the house. I do laundry. I don’t stop. I don’t rest, I don’t relax."

– moms-sphaghetti

"Give us changing tables in the men's room!"

– Da1UHideFrom

"Nothing bugs me more than when a place only has changing tables in the women's bathroom."

"It's 2023, I take my son to the aquarium by myself sometimes... Looking at you London SeaLife centre 🤨"

– AstonVanilla

Household Split

"The laundry is always a wierd one. My wife is a much better cook than me. And she hates me cooking when she's in the house. So to compensate I do all the laundry, including ironing before someone mentions it, and all the washing of dishes."

"But even at work, this doesn't seem to be understood as possible. I complained my washing machine had broken and the comment was 'Oh no, what's wife's name going to do?'"

"To which the answer was 'Wonder why I haven't done the washing this week.'"

"But it's infuriating."

– RelativeStranger

Justice Is Bought

"The American justice system. You can afford the best and many more lawyers when you have money."

– TooAfraidToAsk814

"Justice is blind, but the b*tch sure can smell money."

– burgher89

Worship

"I am supposed to respect people's religion, but people aren't supposed to respect my non-religion."

"Particularly when their religion instructs them to not respect my non-religion."

– GeebusNZ

"It kinda makes my head spin that there are people who I get along well with who, per their religion, think I deserve to be tortured in agony for all eternity."

– Daztur

Yup, me and my non-religious self have personal experience with that last one!

double standards