Kids pick up the behaviors exhibited by the adults around them, but the same can also be said of parents who look to others for tips on how to raise their children.
Social media is hugely responsible for trending activities that can easily influence a first-time parent looking for guidance.
But everyone's parenting experience is different depending on the individual child and the surrounding environment.
Exploring why some of these common child-rearing practices are not for everyone, Redditor Sam_21000 asked:
"What parenting 'trend' you strongly disagree with?"
The following parental trends were not viewed favorably.
Temper Tantrum On Display
"Posting videos of your autistic kid having a meltdown or just as a prop for likes."
– antifashkenazi
Limited Communication
"My neighbour’s daughter is a 'crunchy mom' wannabe influencer. Daughter will not allow adjectives to be used when speaking with her toddler or baby. They are supposed to discover descriptive words through exploration of their environment. I’m sort of unclear on how they are supposed to discover words that are never spoken, like colours or size or shape."
– kittens_in_the_wall
Following Others' Lead
"disciplining children based on what other parents are doing. What works for 1 kid won’t work for others."
– Background_Neck8739
Discipline Effectiveness
"Boy was that a hard lesson when my kids were younger. What worked for one most definitely did not work for the other. One found it torturous to be separated from the action (time out in bedroom), while the other would be like, 'WAHOOO!!! alone time!'"
– 2boredtocare
Coddling
"My father in law made sure his daughters (my sisters in law) never had to experience a single consequence or reaction for their mistakes. They are adults in their late 20s now and both cannot handle the slightest gust of wind. They are very immature and developmentally arrested. One of them has never worked or paid a bill, and this is not a rich family."
– allthebacon_and_eggs
Running Wild
"Letting your kids scream and jump around the restaurant while pretending it’s not going on."
– Cloudy_mood
Some people found these child-rearing tactics psychologically damaging.
Too Much Visibility
"Posting the child's entire life on social media. It's one thing to include a family picture with everyone. But putting a child's entire life online, without their consent, isn't good."
"Especially when it's about what they've done wrong. Public internet shaming is one of the worst things one can do to a child, because who knows whether that will follow that poor kid around for years. When the cyber-bullying is coming from inside their own house, nowhere is safe. (And that's not even getting to the people who "prank" their kids and make them miserable for the views.)"
– Funandgeeky
Being Influencers
"Family youtube channels are the worst. It's just child exploitation."
– Golden_Phi
Encouraging Competition
"Idk if this is a trend or not, but it's very common. Comparing your child to others. It doesn't matter if they're siblings, friends, etc. That f**ks up their self-esteem and turns everything into a competition."
– Amino_Blank
Gossipy Family
"As a teenager, I absolutely hate how family members will spill private secrets and constantly complain and make jokes about you on the telephone or when families gather. Also responding to you in a very snotty attitude. I think that's a big reason I am insecure and have social anxiety."
Destroying Property
"Destruction of a child's property. I recognize that most videos of Generic Angry Parent smashing a child's gaming console (or whatever) are staged."
"But not all of them are. And most real incidents are never recorded."
"If your child requires discipline, you give them a timeout, ground them, temporarily revoke their privileges, assign them extra chores or whatever. But you NEVER destroy their possessions."
"Their property may not mean much to you. But it means a lot to them. Destroying it because you don't know how to manage your temper is wrong in every possible way. If you do that then you're a bad parent and I judge you for it."
– OhYeahThrowItAway
Parents have differing views on play time.
Zero Interaction
"My sister in law preoccupies her kid, and has since birth with a tablet. he is now 12 and has no friends and zero interpersonal skills. He takes his iPad to dinner, to grandmas, to church and never talks to anyone."
"it's very sad to see."
– groverwood
Strict Supervision
"My wife and I are basically neighborhood pariahs because we allow our children to ride their bikes around our quiet, low crime suburban town. I've had a parent flat out tell me he won't allow his son to come over without him because I might do something crazy like let them shoot hoops on the basketball net out front without standing there watching them."
"Children need a little bit of freedom. You can't be expected to make grown up decisions when you never had the opportunity to make child decisions."
– NotTheRealWillSmith
Keeping A Short Leash
"Extremely strict rules in general. I had a childhood friend that came over after school once and he said he had to be home by 6. Didn't think much of it so we lost track of time playing games. He lived about a 10 minute walk up the street and he noticed it was 5:52, then started freaking out. 'My dad's gonna kill me if I'm late!' I tried saying he wouldn't care about 2 mins. The next day in school my friend said he wasn't allowed over my house anymore, and I never hung out with him again, all over this kid being 2 mins late getting home."
– The_Blackest_Man
Tight Schedule
"Over scheduling activities. When I was teaching, I remember my kindergartners telling me they had no time to play because every day consisted of non-stop structured sports, dance and such."
– Kitchen-Witching
"Putting your kids in as many programs as possible. Assuming that it's your job to help them find their 'thing' so they can be happy and successful in life. I think it just makes kids over busy, stressed, unable to explore freely in down time, not know what to do with stillness."
– revmo31
Absolutely No Falling
"Making your child terrified to fail. I gave up on so many things because I repeatedly got called 'f'kin’ idiot' if I wasn’t instantly an expert."
– ItsPaulKerseysCar
There is no definitive guidebook to successful parenting.
However, watching other families and tracking their online activity might not be the best resource in determining what is the right way to raise your kids.
It stands to reason that built-in common sense and parental instincts should not be ignored in favor of what's trending in a family/parenting group on a social media page.
Cut yourself some slack, first-time parents. You got this.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.