Bilingual People Break Down The Craziest Things They've Overheard Folks Saying About Them
When I was in college, my best friend and I lived in a triple with a girl we didn’t know. We tried to be nice and welcoming, asking her to join us whenever we went anywhere, trying to find out what we had in common, and asking her about her day.
She smiled and while she rarely accompanied us anywhere, she talked to us normally and we figured we were becoming friends. We were wrong.
A couple weeks into our freshman year, we found out our third roommate was complaining about us to her family in Spanish, thinking neither of us would understand. This time, she was wrong.
This is not a rare occurrence. There are lots of instances in which bilingual people overhear people saying crazy or mean things about them in a language they think the others around them can’t understand.
Curious to hear the stories, Redditor KayJayJetLee03 asked:
“People who speak a second language - what have you overheard people saying about you when they thought you couldn't understand them?”
Flattery Will You Everywhere
"I was working as a server and a man came in who I used to work with. We chatted briefly. He was Hispanic and with his family. My Spanish is spotty at best, but his mom said something along the lines of “She could be your girlfriend” and I replied with the fact that I was married. She froze for a second and then whooped this kind of contagious laughter cackle. Poor guy was embarrassed but I was flattered!"
"My spanish is passable. I heard a little old lady saying how cute I was to her younger female companion. I assume it was her daughter. She was trying to get her to talk to me. I looked right at her and held up my hamd with my wedding ring. The daughter got beat red and granny started laughing."
"Grandma is all "He is cute and he understands spanish of course he is taken.""
"I was flattered. I love that there are people in the US that think spanish can be a secret language. There are a lot of us that have had to learn."
When You Assume
"So it was actually one of my first languages. Anyway, I was working at a pizza joint. A group of 3 Indian guys came in. They were having a conversation. Nothing about me but they were using a lot of explicit words in Hindi. [The following conversation is all in Hindi] As they were talking one of them said "Dude. Calm down. He might understand you." And the guy said "Him? Nah. He looks like he was born here (Ohio)." And then turned to me and said "You don't understand me right?" And I responded "I'm from Mumbai, dude."
"The other two freaked the fu*k out like I just made a shot from half court."
"One of the physicians I work with is lily white but speaks perfect Spanish. My favorite story is he had a pediatric patient to round on and the family all spoke Spanish only. So he calls for an interpreter as our hospital policy dictates and while waiting he greets them, he’s smiling and playing with the baby, little Spanish words here and there. The family starts talking about his hair, his clothing, how he’s probably an inept doctor, etc. He very pleasantly explains that he’s waiting for the interpreter to arrive due to our policy but is more than happy to converse in Spanish - all in perfect Spanish. The faces!"
As If Waiting In Line Doesn't Suck Enough
"We lived in Spain. I was in line to pay my electric bill when a woman began complaining about me being in line. She thought I should be at the end of the line or something. I don't remember exactly what she said but she was not a fan of me or Americans in general. At one point she was pointing at me and she jabbed me with her finger. I gave her a look but didn't say anything."
"When it was my turn in line, I paid my bill, got my receipt, turned to the women in line behind me and said, "I hope you all have a blessed day, except for this rude one." And I pointed at Senora Jabby Finger."
"Ohmygosh, her eyes got so big. She was shocked and embarrassed and I kind of feel bad about shaming her but you really shouldn't assume people don't know what you are saying when you are talking about them right in front of them no matter what language you are speaking."
"I understand Spanish better than I speak it. For reference I'm dark haired and tan, I get asked if I'm Hispanic or Latina all the time and politely tell them no I'm not."
"Over my 22 years in the service industry, I've worked with a lot of people from Spanish speaking countries, Ecuador, el Salvador, Mexico etc. My last place of employment I walked through the kitchen for the first time and all of the cooks started at me for a sec and then began talking amongst themselves. A lot of it was what they did over the weekend or who wants to grab a beer after work, nothing really nefarious."
"For weeks I listened to their conversations. When certain servers would come to the window they would b*tch about the girls they didn't like. My name was brought up one day about how one of the cooks had a crush on me and they kept picking on him for it. I pretended I didn't understand them until one busy night the cooks were all angry."
"I was angry, the bartender was angry, everyone was fuming over one thing or another. I walked over to the food window (expo window) and politely asked for a ranch dressing missing from my order. All of the cooks looked at me like I had 3 heads. I asked again but a bit more direct. After they started talking sh*t I finally yelled at them, in Spanish, that I needed a f**king ranch and I'm not waiting anymore."
"Everyone went silent, apologized and they all had an epiphany. I heard EVERYTHING they had said for the past 3 weeks about me and the other people who worked there. They all ended up showing super mad respect to me afterward and I grew a good rapport with all of them, so much so, I never had to beg or yell for ranch again"
Being Bilingual Saved My Life
"I live in the UK. I was walking through London alone late one night in 2019, when I noticed two men appear out of nowhere and walk by in total silence, while both giving me a side eye. I watched their reflections in a shop window as they double-backed and started walking behind me. Nothing too nefarious, until they started speaking in German between themselves. Their conversation started with comments about me being short - generally taking the piss at first. Then they started plotting how they would pull me into the upcoming alley about 50ft further up the road. I thought I was about to be in big trouble when I looked ahead and noticed someone else waiting at the alley."
"I don’t know what came over me but I saw a light flick on in one of the houses nearby and I figured at least one person on this sleepy street was awake. So I spun around and started shouting in German and English that I understood everything they said, that I’d been on the phone to the police the whole time and that they were a minute away. Saw a fair few more lights on the street flick on - I genuinely felt bad for waking so many people. The two guys legged it. The alley way guy did too."
"I did actually report it to the police. Grateful that I did A-level German for two years."
Not A Secret Language
"I was on public transportation in Switzerland and was asked for my passport by who I think were local police. I don't normally carry my passport and told them (in English) I didn't have it on me. They got pretty pushy and then started saying to each other (in German) how stupid I was. I just looked at them and said (in German) "I speak German. If you want to see my passport you'll have to ride the tram with me to where I have it.""
"Shut them up quick"
Their Faces Was The Best Piece Of Art
"My dad was born and raised in Paris, France til about the age of 10, and then his family moved back to the states. Because of this, my dad was fluent in French and retained the native accent."
"Fast forward several years, my family is on vacation in Paris. One of our days was spent at the Louvre, which was going well until my disabled mother needed accommodations, which we had asked about weeks beforehand and were assured that they would be provided. On the day of our visit the accommodations weren’t given to my mom, and my dad was livid."
"We were sitting in one of the customer service offices while my dad and one of the staff members argued in English. The mistake they made was assuming my dad didn’t know French - which is something I absolutely can’t blame them for thinking. My dad was one of the most American-looking tourists of all time - imagine every American stereotype rolled into one: super loud voice, a predisposition to smiling at strangers, very overweight, and dressed in New England sports T-shirts that were likely stained."
"Well, one of the staff members then looked at the other one incredulously and said something snarky in French, assuming that none of us would be able go understand what he was saying. Apparently he’d said something along the lines of “Let’s tell them there’s nothing we can do to help, maybe that will get them to leave.” My dad responds, in his perfect Parisian accent, “You can do something, you’re just choosing not to.” Those staff members’ heads swung around so fast I thought they’d broken their necks."
"We ended up leaving on our own accord after that; the looks on their faces as they realized what had happened was absolutely priceless."
"The Orsay had better art to see anyway!"
Just So Rude!
"I am not deaf but know American sign language fluently."
"I was at work and a woman came up with her husband. She signed to her husband "ask her where the hair dye is". I said that I was sorry but I was new so I wasn't sure but I could get my manager."
"She's signed back to him "of course this dumb bi*ch doesn't know, I'm not surprised.""
"I signed to her "this dumb bi*ch has only been working here for two days. Have some respect for people.""
"She went beet red and immediately left."
Now He's Saying...
"MY wife is from Taiwan, I am from the Netherlands. We were one time in a Chinese Restaurant in Paris. There was a Dutch couple in there not too happy about the food, service etc. and discussing in Dutch. At the same time the Chinese owners were talking about the Dutch couple in Chinse. My wife and I were translating to each other what was said in Chinese and Dutch, and we had a blast since we could follow both sides."
"I'm Puerto Rican but I've been told I look more Italian. Anyway, when I was 15, I stepped into an elevator in Miami and these two girls start talking about me saying I'm cute in Spanish."
"Unfortunately for them, they didn't realize that Spanish was actually my first language so I understood everything they were saying even though they were speaking rapid fire."
"I was really shy at that age so I really didn't say much until the door opened on my floor. Then I thanked them for the compliments in Spanish and walked away slowly. I could hear them giggling all the way down the hall."
"I had a friend who was at a bar in my small town USA. This group of six white guys were speaking Russian next to her while she was with one other girlfriend. They paid no attention."
"Luckily the bartender spoke Russian and heard them all plotting to kidnap my friend and that there was a white van waiting outside for them. The bartender didn’t let my friend leave and had the bouncer kick them out. Called the cops shortly after. There was a Russian human trafficking ring in my area at that time."
"I used to be a tour guide and families would hire me to show them the sites, sometimes for a set amount of time and other times it was more open-ended. This family had hired me for an open-ended day. The mother and kids would speak to me in English, but each other in French. I also speak French but the family wasn’t aware. The mom kept telling the kids to pretend that they were going to keep me hired into the evening, but that they were really only going to stay until right after lunch. She told them this many times like it was some weird secret. I have no idea to this day what she thought she would get by tricking me."
I don’t think I’ll ever stop laughing at that story!
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked: 'What is the worst health advice you've been given?'
Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.
The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.
But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?
Unfortunately, that is not always the case.
Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:
"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"
Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.
Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer
"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”
"turns out it was glioblastoma."
"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."
Second Opinion Saves Lives
"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."
"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."
"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."
"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."
"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."
"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."
These are not appropriate remedies.
That's Not How That Works
"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."
"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."
"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."
"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”
"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."
"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."
"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution
"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."
"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."
Choking On Blood
"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."
"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."
These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."
"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."
"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."
"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."
Thinking Twice About Back Pain
"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."
"Yikes, I am so sorry."
"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."
"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."
"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"
"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."
Vitamin D Overdose
"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."
"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."
As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.
Your conscience is there for a reason.
Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMintfalling GIFGiphy
Because ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphy
In Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy
Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buckseason 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy
When people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big DealIllustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy
"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
"Never admitting a mistake."
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
AfterthoughtSad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
BehaviorAndre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Talk to MeSarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy
"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.
Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.
One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823Cats Dragging GIFGiphy
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
Good Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
On A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
What About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
Or Two Sets Of Twins
"Armadillos always have offspring as quadruplets."
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
Who's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
What's your favorite weird animal fact?