Retail therapy is a thing for a reason. In a capitalistic culture, we get used to using money as a means for comfort. So we think, let me buy some "comfort" food. Let me buy this new video game, because I deserve it. Ooh, this hat is cute. Buying this will make everything better.
But sometimes the usefulness of a purchase actually outlasts the simple thrill of just buying it.
u/WrathOfChevy asked:
"What's the best purchase you've ever made?"
Here were some of those answers.
Just A Quiet Moment
We were at the tail end of a 32 hour road trip with our 5 kids ages 5 to 15 years old at the time. I love them but I needed silence. I bribed them with a dollar for whoever could be quiet the longest. I thought I'd buy myself perhaps 5 minutes of quiet tops before someone breathed someone else's air. Nope. Complete silence for just over an hour until we pulled into our destination. I declared them all winners so they all got a dollar. By far the best $5 I've ever spent.
I Want To See
Got LASIK 4 years ago and continues to be the best money I ever spent. I wake up, and can just...see? With no glasses or contacts? Amazing
My Own Coffee Shop
Bought a Breville Barista Express espresso machine 5+ years ago. I drink at least 2 americanos or lattes a day. It has never failed in any way shape or form, and at this point has saved me approximately eleventy billion dollars at Starbucks over this time period. I absolutely love that machine.
Paco The Horse
I bought a horse named Paco for $500. My mom's hairdresser kept trying to sell him to me, starting at $3500 and every few months she would lower the price $500. When she got to $500 I said I would look at him. That was 18 years ago. He was the first horse my daughter was able to get out and ride on her own. She took him to the county fair the first year she showed there and won numerous ribbons on him, including hunter over fences jumping him over 3 foot fences. We didn't know he could jump.
After she moved on to other horses we kept him and many different kids showed him at the fair all doing very well with him. Another lady had a parade horse get sick, and borrowed Paco and took him to the Kentucky derby parade and the Indy 500 parade. He proudly marched in both.
He also became a lesson horse and taught hundreds of beginners how to ride a horse. Never once has lost his patience with anyone. The only thing he asks in return is some peppermint candy.
He's in his late thirties now and is still going strong. He doesn't do many lessons anymore, but every once in a while someone is lucky enough to get to learn on him.
When You Live In Suburban America
My car.. It isn't even that great (96 Camry).. But going many years without a car was a daily struggle. Now I can get anywhere I need to without having to bother friends and family. Something as simple as grocery shopping went from being embarrassingly difficult to not a big deal.
Our Best Friend For Life
When I was about 10 years old my parents and I were in our backyard clearing out a ton of weeds that had gotten out of hand. I had trouble focusing because our next door neighbor had this really adorable puppy and all I wanted to do was play with him.
We found out that they were actually going to take him to an animal shelter because their son was not taking care of him like he promised. I decided to ask my parents if maybe we could get him instead. I was an only child and never really have anyone to play with unless a friend would come over and the thought of having a puppy to play with whenever I wanted to was great.
My parents agreed and our neighbors offered to sell him to us for $20, which is really cheap for a dog when you think about it, but a lot of money for a kid. I had that saved up and immediately agreed and promised I care for him and love him forever. So, he became my puppy and like a brother. After a few days of debating I named him Snoopy.
Snoopy became my closest friend. He made me laugh, played with me, and would just hang out and watch TV with me. He was always there for me, especially through some tough times in my life where I was extremely self-destructive. He saved me from myself. He was there at my side through tough breakups where all I ever wanted to do was lay in bed. He was an amazing friend. He was there to see me graduate 8th grade, high school, and college. I hoped he would be there on the day I got married and maybe be around for when I had kids, but unfortunately as much as we wish for things, sometimes they don't happen.
This is the first picture of I have of us together and this is the last. He died 5 years ago after being by my side for almost 17 years. That little ball of fur in the first picture made such a huge impact on my life bringing me years of happiness, friendship, and love.
There And Back Again
I broke up with my HS sweetheart near graduation for reasons. She got a new boyfriend and I a new girlfriend (mine didn't last but 2 weeks). Months go by, I started college, and we remained in touch. I missed being with her and as our initial anniversary date neared I knew she was single again. So on that day I dropped by her job as a supermarket cashier and bought a pack of gum. As she rang me up I asked her if we could get back together. She said maybe, but would call me later. Of course she said yes and we've been together ever since, got married, & have 2 kids. Easily the best $1.07 I ever spent!
Halving My Size
The food and fees for the medically supervised diet I'm on right now. I've lost 121 pounds so far and only have 36 to get to my goal. I feel so happy with myself and very proud that I've managed to do this. And of course I already look damn good, I started at a size 26 and I'm a size 14 now, there's so many small and large benefits I've noticed from being a ton thinner. From no longer worrying about being able to fit in chairs to simply being more comfortable in my own skin.
It All Worked Out
My divorce. I didn't even know how miserable was until one day, I was planning how I could successfully abandon my whole life.
I was going to apply for jobs across the country. I was mentally making lists of what I could fit in the car with the dogs so I could ghost. I was going to abandon the house I just bought, figured my parents would disown me based on their anti-divorce stance and years of telling me "marriage is forever. You vowed good times and bad." I was going to change my number so no one would know where I was. Started trying to figure out how I could save the deposit for an apt. I would stay married but live separately and I'd just start life over as if I was an orphan.
Had this moment of clarity that to go through all that to get away from him, i should just divorce him anyway. My parents didn't have to live with him and it was worth severing ties with them to get away from him. Why was I giving up the home I'd bought, and the life I'd made?
Things came to a head one day, the next week I had a consultation with a lawyer. Took off work so as not to arouse suspicion. He told me I could think about it and I was like "dude, I've done nothing but. Here's my cc." I called my mom on the way home and let her know. I was expecting "we're disowning you" and was shocked and in tears when she said that she had been wrong, if it was that bad they would support me and help me pay the lawyer fees. I hung up with her, my dad called me not 2 mins later and said it was about time.
I was expecting this bitter divorce and... when I broke it to him he's like "I'm going to let you go." We had an uncontested divorce, I gave him an, as my lawyer phrased it, "overly fair", settlement. It's been 8 years, I'm still paying off the divorce settlement, but I am in a better place mentally, a better relationship and it was worth getting out of an extremely toxic, emotionally abusive relationship.
Puppies Are Good For Your Health
I was living with my mum when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had her surgery and had started the first of three years of chemo and radiation.
I drove her anywhere she needed and went in with her. Doctors visits and chemo can be really boring, so I always had two bags full of different things depending what she felt like doing.
We were in our way to a chemo visit and instead of going in with her, I felt like visit the animal shelter. No idea why, I had never left Mum during a chemo visit before.
The shelter was five minutes from the hospital and there were plenty of animals but I had my eye on one. A six month old lab x border collie puppy that was just terrified. Would not come anywhere near me. I couldn't leave him in that outdoor concrete kennel. How can a puppy be so terrified.
I drove with him back to the hospital. The chemo ward had a garden with windows, so we sat there waving at Mum. Mum came out and wasn't happy, there was enough going on let alone a puppy. But this dog was so quiet and timid. He curled into mum's lap and I never heard her complain again.
The best part was mum would walk him every day along the beach (she was covered head to toe in clothes and sun block) and she became stronger and healthier each year. When I was at work, I was comforted in knowing he was by her side.
He was $360 but easily the best purchase I've ever made.
"Bought my dog..."
Bought my dog during severe depression and loneliness. She's been a great friend so far and makes most days fun. Even when she shits on the carpet (she's still a puppy).
"Lived like a miser..."
My house.
Lived like a miser for 10+ years to afford a down payment. The feeling of putting money into the house instead of rent is fantastic.
"Thanks to..."
Thanks to a Costco membership and basement shelving, My family of 3 were packing 60+ Charmin triple rolls when the shortages started. We just stock up whenever it is on sale and there had been a sale not long before. I wouldn't call myself a prepper but when at the prices costco has for things like 25lb boxes of high quality rice for around 10 bucks, you would be a fool to not keep one of those bad boys in the bottom of your pantry.
"Invested..."
Invested $20,000 of an inheritance into a weed grow. Now I've been working in the Cannabis industry 4 years and have made probably $300k on my investment.
"No one is allowed..."
The Complete Calvin & Hobbes, bound, three volume set.
No one is allowed to touch it. My daughter reads all the cheaper paperback collections I received over the years every xmas. She 17 now, I might just let her have a peek.
Also, a close second is a painting of a Hawker Hurricane I found in what I thought was a nice art store. I just felt like I should have it. I looked it up after i bought it and it appears to be commonly replicated. But I liked it, I love military history, and its one thing in our house that can be pointed to and said "that's here because of Kurt_Go_Bang."
"They will change your life..."
Birkenstocks! They will change your life, especially my high-arched comrades.
"I never had pets..."
The pet adoption fees for my cats.
I never had pets growing up (my mother is allergic) but my wife always had cats. So after we were dating for awhile and living together we adopted two cats.
I never felt so much unconditional love or had a stronger feeling of having a home until they lived with us.
"They didn't have much money..."
Laptop for my younger brother and his wife. They didn't have much money and really needed one. Started breaking down crying in Starbucks. Made me start tearing up as well.
"Got drunk once..."
Got drunk once on holidays and thought it would be a great idea to buy a dog. Woke up later that afternoon in my hotel room with a 10 week old Alaskan Malamute puppy I had somehow managed to sneak in.
It's been 6 years now and she is the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
"While on unemployment..."
When I was 23, I got let go from my job as a groundskeeper. While on unemployment, I bought a $2 scratch off ticket. Turned out, I won $2500! I used that money to purchase the parts to build a gaming PC, which I had no experience with. After buying all the parts, and with a little help with wiring, I found a love for computers, and how they work. I am now working at an engineer level at my current IT job, and am doing very well, mentally, which I was not before that $2 scratch off purchase.
"I can take a bunch..."
A crockpot. I can take a bunch of vegetables and meats or beans or whatever , and some water or chicken stock, throw in a pack of frozen seasoning vegetables (bell pepper, onion, celery), toss in salt, pepper, onion powder and garlic powder, put it on medium to high heat and go to bed and literally go to work the next day and never worry about it. The roast and veggies? Perfect. The chicken fiesta soup? Immaculate. The red beans and sausage? Food of the gods. The vegetable stew? To die for.
All I do is throw things in it and then literally ignore them and the next day dinner is just ready, like I actually did something.
"I suffer..."
I suffer from severe insomnia and I'm currently pregnant.. So I'm a person who already doesn't sleep, who can't take any of my medication for this and I'm growing a human inside of me, which isn't comfortable.
I bought a new mattress about a month ago and have gotten the best sleep I've ever had in my life! Definitely agree!
"I've worked..."
Graduate school. Switched from an undergrad of Microbiology to Computer Science masters. I've worked for some of the top companies in the world, done some pretty cool stuff, and had a lot of fun along the way. Far and away the best purchase and 2 years of my life.
"I grew it..."
I purchased a pizza shop in 1999. I grew it to 4 pizza shops and then sold them all. I now own 8 restaurants in another concept and am financially set.
"She still hasn't..."
The engagement ring for my wife. She still hasn't figured out how far beneath her that she married. Please, nobody tell her!
"My old boss..."
My car. '08 Prius in 2014, 50k on the clock, perfect service history, 1 previous owner, $7.5k. My old boss had more money than sense.
"It's calming..."
A guitar. If you give it some time, any instrument can be great. It's calming and stress relieving.
"Trust me people."
King Size Casper Matress. Trust me people, it's LIFE changing. LIFE CHANGING. Second prize: an attachable bidet for 32 bucks off amazon. LIFE CHANGING.
"This little pug..."
Most stories here are a dog. And I agree that's the best purchase I made. My pug is my wife's and I kid and for all sakes, it behaves like one. We've been married for 5 years and got him after our first year married as a prelude to kids. Neither one of us would think that we would go thru infertility and the possibility of kids may not happen. This little pug has allowed us to fill that gap, not in an unhealthy way but definitely in the loving way. A little source of constant happiness while dealing thru the shittiness that's comes from infertility. It's the little things that allow for us to always maintain perspective.
"Recently?"
Recently? An herb garden. Got parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, peppermint, dill, cilantro, and of course, catnip. Watering and watching them grow is extremely soothing. Plus, freshest possible herbs! And cat drugs for my kitties, because they should benefit, too.
"After driving nothing but..."
A new car. After driving nothing but crappy old cars with tons of mileage on them I got a new one. Crazy how nice it drives and how often it DOESN'T break down.
"My then girlfriend..."
$10 for a Kappa duffle bag.
My then girlfriend (now wife) bought one at the same time. We picked them up at a Kroger almost 20 years ago when we were in college. We use them nearly every other weekend to pack clothes and supplies to visit family and friends. Hell, my wife damn near lived out of hers for 3 years for her job. I would not be surprised if they last another 20 years.
"The kind that comes..."
Compact floor jack. The kind that comes in a plastic case and fits nicely in the trunk of your car. Makes changing a tire on the side of the highway a speedy, safer affair. Those scissor jacks are not good.
"I love being able to..."
My guitar has given me more pleasure than anything. I love being able to pull it out and play something to speak with people
"Honestly..."
Honestly, if I think of time used, reliability and just never breaking down in 12 years, it has to be a white Sony VAIO laptop. Astonishing in it's durability... shame they stopped making them, was the best $700 I think I've ever spent.
"Where I live..."
My central air conditioning. Where I live, we get two-three months of summer, but totally worth it. I hate trying to sleep when it is hot.
"Heading out..."
My hiking bag. 2012. Decided I was going to get one, hopped onto Kijiji knowing almost nothing about hiking backpacks and found a large mec brio for $50. Apparently you are supposed to try on different ones until you find the right size, well I just impulsively bought it and it fit like a glove.
It's carried me from memory to memory, bursting at the seams with tent poles, punctured beer cans, clothes, gear. Whatever I want to bring I can find a way to stretch the bag to accommodate. I have abused the hell out of it and it just doesn't break.
Regular visits to the Bruce Trail, Lake Superior, Kawarthas, Algonquin, Ganaraska trail. That thing took me through so many of the experiences of my 20's that made life worth living.
Heading out for my first hike of the season this Saturday, these days I store it prepacked with gear and whisky and add food and batteries the night before a hike.
"Maybe not the best..."
Maybe not the best but I recently bought a convertible sofa for 30 dollars. There was an error on the site and it was 94% off.
"I finally..."
My computer bag. I finally bought a good leather bag and it'll be the last one I ever have to buy.
"I've been sewing..."
I've been sewing for a while now, and my brothers birthday is coming up, so when my grandma dragged me into a fabric shop, and I found the best thing for his birthday, he's a cyclist, and I found a peoce of material with bikes on it. I bought it, and I'm really excited to get started! I've never given my brother a proper birthday gift, and I'm sure hell love it, at least I hope so!
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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