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People Divulge Tips For Talking To Your Significant Other About Having A Threesome

With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.

This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.

Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.

Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.


In an effort to help those who have suggested this proposition, Redditor cindyvanessa took to Reddit to ask:
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"

Make sure you want to do it.

"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87

Proceed with caution

"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."

"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."

"And established rules."

"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."

"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414

Make sure you're an active participant

"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."

"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."

"The other dude was a total creep, though."

"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."

"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."

"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow

Look out for ulterior motives

"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."

"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays

Consider a test run?

"Go to a bar together separately."

"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."

"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."

"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer

Query people with experience.

"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."

"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."

"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo

Consider going whole hog.

"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi

Evaluate your relationship first.

"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."

"Have boundaries, and no secrets."

"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455

Just don't!

"Don't do it."

"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."

"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"

"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."

"She enthusiastically agreed."

"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."

"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."

"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."

"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."

"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."

"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."

"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."


"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."

"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."

"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."

"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."

"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."

"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."

"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger

Wanting this might be a telltale sign...

"Divorce."- justamanwithneeds

"Start thinking about the fourth - an attorney."- lt__

"In my opinion it's a slippery slope to a failing marriage."

"But you do you and talk about it."

"It might work out and it might backfire."- Vikinger-CJL1996

Consider it... but REALLY consider it.

"Having been down this road, I really had to think it through."

"There is no right and wrong here, only personal feelings."

"On the one hand, I was honored that my partner felt safe enough sharing with me this fantasy of hers that she had never told a past boyfriend or even her ex-husband out of fear of judgment."

"But on the other hand… It wasn’t anything that ever sound appealing to me."

"This is where I drew the line."

"If it was the experience that she fantasized about, I was willing to explore that with her."

"But if it was instead simply about an individual that she wanted to bring into the bedroom, that was something else entirely."

"Essentially this is what I mean:

"'Honey, I have always fantasized about having MFM threesome and it would be amazing if you would consider helping me fulfill that fantasy'."

"I was OK with this one."

"'Honey, I’ve always had this fantasy about having sex with you and Jeff, that sexy Bartender we are always getting drinks from on the weekends'."

"'What would you think about trying to set that up?'"

"She just wants to f*ck Jeff and is looking for permission."

"Not only did she assured me that it was the first one and not the second one, or after describing some basic parameters/qualities/characteristics, she told me she preferred not having any say in who our special guest star would be."

"It was purely about the experience and not any individual."

"We had a lot of conversations before I even seriously considered it."

"Long story short, I spent two months speaking to you guys and putting it together."

"It was about two years ago now and we just talked about it again the other day. "

"She doesn’t remember the guys name, or anything really distinctive about him."

"You know what makes her smile, and quite frankly light up, when that conversation comes up?"

"She always points out that that was the day she knew, without any doubts, that her partner placed her months, needs, and desires on a pedestal above any petty insecurities that he may have had."


"I actually believed her when she told me that it was just a fantasy not any void in our sex life she was trying to fill."

"The experience brought us much closer and we had a great time."

"As soon as the guy left we both cracked up laughing together lol."

"I really knew that we were on the same page and I could see in her eyes how appreciative and grateful she was towards me."

"Also, as soon as he left, she pounced on me like a lion would jump on a limping gazelle across the prairie."

"I’ve never seen her so turned on."

"It wasn’t the other guy that turned her on."

"It was the confidence that she saw in me for doing that for her. I’m not saying you should do it."

"I’m just telling you my story."- disposibleaccount9

Set clear boundaries

"Have a long talk about what you really want and are comfortable with."

"I had a friend with benefits in college."

"She had a bi friend, and had said that girl was the only one she would experiment with."

"We tried, it turned out she both was embarrassed to experiment in front of me, and didn't want to watch me with the friend."

"Ended with my FWB blowing me, and my taking some cum on my finger and offering to the friend, who immediately swallowed it."

"Definitely giving the 'I'll clean the rest off' vibe."

"FWB saw and made sure there wasn't another drop to spare."

"Turns out she has caught the feels."

"I might have considered a guy as the third at that point, but I have a strong feeling who she would have picked."

"A gay friend who would not have wanted to touch her."

"MIGHT have considered at that point in life trying and sharing oral duty with her, and letting both blow me." Never brought up.

My ex wife had one friend that I would have been willing to bring in."

"She was a 35 yr old virgin, who was wanting to change that."

"She probably would have been down to be bi for a night if asked."

"Ex wasn't. Looking back, we didn't have that strong of a marriage."

"Now, not a chance."

"Don't want anyone else in any bed but current wife."- Vast_Professor7399

The decision must be mutual.

"My ex was kinda an asshole, and attempted to illicit a reaction from me by saying he wanted to bring a third person to the relationship, so I asked a question of 'do you think you'll get mad when whoever it is you bring in likes me more than you?'"

" They got pissed and never minded the whole thing."

"That's the only real related thing to this I got."

"In my opinion however, if you and your partner wanna add a third controller, just be sure that's what you want."

"Be sure you're ready for another person to get attention, to be part of decision making, and that you're comfortable with that."

"Aside from that, nothing else really matters."- uwumcuwu·

Good advice no matter the situation

"Bring snacks."- Motor-Berry-6887

When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.

That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.

It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".

Non-Sexual Things Married People Look Foward To Doing When Their Partner's Away

Reddit user shaka_sulu asked: 'Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?'

Man enjoying sangria solo
Sangria Señorial/Unsplash

When the cat's away, the mice will play.

That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.

In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.

Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:

"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"

Some people are happy to take up extra space.

Spacious Parking

"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."

– starkpaella

"Genius answer. It always brings joy."

– Heynicejobtoday

Hush

"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."

– 2workigo

"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."

– jaybeeg

Bed Positions

"Sleeping on the diagonal."

– snogweasel

"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."

– downvotingprofile

Quiet Viewing

"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."

– PheonixKernow

These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.

Taste In The Finer Things

"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."

"It’s the little things. 😂"

– aizzo4

All Mine

"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."

– missag_2490

Cheers

"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."

– Tom__mm

"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."

– JLHuston

Screen Time

"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."

– sexrockandroll

"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."

"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."

"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."

– Big-Mine9790

To each his/her/their own.

The Organizer

"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."

– Dependent_Top_4425

"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"

"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."

– Individual-Army811

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."

– holographoc

Establishing Order

"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."

"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."

– Lyeta1_1

When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.

He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.

Which is all well and good.

But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.

We've all had a conversation with someone where they say something where they've said something incorrect or inaccurate.

Sometimes, our gut reaction is just to laugh, as it was an honest mistake, such as mixing up a pair of celebrities or misusing or mispronouncing a word.

Other times, we might feel the need to put them in their place and not only correct them but educate them.

Then there are the times when we have just heard something so shockingly inane that we are left completely and utterly speechless.

Redditor Moo1124 was eager to hear all the dumb things the Reddit community heard which left them dumbfounded, leading them to ask:

"What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard anyone say?"

Before You Denounce Something, Make Sure You Know What It Is

"'I don't believe in astronomy'."

"We asked her if she meant astrology, and she asked, 'which is the one where like, you can tell what stars are made of?''

"We confirmed that was astronomy'."

"'Yeah, I don't believe in that'."- octohog

That Explains All The Traffic Jams?

"That when you press on the horn of your car, it lowers the amount of air in your front right tire due to it helping make that horn sound."- Boomstick123456

Oh, Dear...

"I was walking around the ruins of the ancient cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde just outside of Mancos, Colorado, (where the Ancient Puebloans lived from approximately 550 A.D. to 1300 A.D.) when a visitor asked the tour guide:"

"'Why did they build their homes so far from the highway?'"- badwolf1013

driving los angeles GIF by HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORYGiphy

Ribbet...

“'I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious'."- Master_Grape5931

Racist No Matter What...

"Apparently when my daughter was first born she looked vaguely East Asian."

"Enough, at least, for the nurses to ask if I was sure it was my baby."

"Now that was an incredibly weird thing to say to a new dad meeting his daughter for the first time, but it wasn't the stupidest thing someone said about this situation."

"That happened when I was retelling the above story to a client in a meeting."

"He asked to see a photo of my kid as a newborn, remarked how she really did 'look Asian', and then proceeded to ask if I thought my child might end up having an Asian accent when she got older."- JoeyCalamaro

"Where are you from, China or Asia?"- SonaPen22

Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphy

When Life Gives You Lemons

"Asked someone if they drove a stick."

"They responded, 'no, I drive a car'."

"Now I have a dad joke I’ll remember forever."- 99problemsbut

ID Please...

"I once found a big bulldog in my back yard."

"I don't own a bulldog."

"He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy."

"He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local."

"I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors."

"As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard."

"So another case closed for our young detective."

"I walked over to them and said, 'You guys missing a bulldog?'"

"The mother looked at me and said, 'Is his name Tyson?'"

"The question took me aback."

"I mean, he didn't have tags."

"They knew he didn't have tags."

"So all I could think to say was, 'He didn't say'."

"'But I'm pretty sure he's yours'."

"To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was."- Spodson

looks stupid english bulldog GIFGiphy

Under The Influence

"Stoned friend ."

"What year is February in?'"- IHave47Teeth

Woof Woof...

"My teacher told a class of 16-17 year olds about that super loyal dog in Japan who walked to the train station daily for nine years to wait for his owner, who died at work."

"After hearing that story, a girl raised her hand and asked 'Why didn't somebody just tell the dog?'"- Senator_Ruth_Martin

That's Why The FDA Warns Against It...

"When I was 12 years old a friend told me 'smoking is good for you because the smoke makes a shield around your heart when you breathe it in'."

"He argued that the smoke could prevent you from being stabbed or shot."

"Even at 12 I knew he was a moron."- ipondy

There's Denying Global Warming, And Then...

"Solar panels will cause a global ice age, because the law of thermodynamics states energy cannot be created or destroyed, so obviously they must be removing heat from the air."

"With no sense of irony of the scale nor efficiency (or lack thereof) of solar panels and their capacity to cool."- peptobiscuit

In Debt, Maybe...

"I knew a Finance major in college who thought he was worth $20k because he had two credit cards with $10k limit each."- alano134

No one loves a know-it-all.

Especially when they don't actually know anything at all...


A man with an ostentatious watch rifles through a wardrobe
Photo by charlesdeluvio

Shoplifting is a prevalent issue, but why do people do it?

Some reasons can be as banal as boredom, but other are far more intruiging.

Redditor WineOhCanada wanted to understand why people steal, so they asked:

"People who shoplift on the regular: why do you do it?"

I loved shoplifting.

Until I was caught, that is. I was a price tag switcher.

I apologize.

So Excited

Happy Thomas Lennon GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"It makes me feel alive. Jk I don't any more but as a kid, it was for sure a thrill thing."

silly-billy-goat

The Need

"I’m going to give an actual honest answer as someone who has not done this in many years… it becomes addicting."

anewchapteroflife

"Came here to say this. Back in my high school days, I would do it all the time. It's like a rush. Now my shoplifting days are when I forgot the can of soup on the bottom of the grocery cart and don't realize til I'm loading it in the car."

TheRumpleForesk1n

"I used to work in loss prevention. A lot of times we would let you go; especially teenagers. We knew you would be back and have pictures on the wall of you. We focused on shoplifting rings with a higher dollar amount and employees. Employees rob you blind."

taco_cop

The Hit

"I was greedy and had poor impulse control. While shoplifting was terrifying... having the shiny new thing after gave me a dopamine hit. I got caught three or four times and I thank Christ I was under 18 each and every time."

happyele

"It was less about greed for me I think, I've never been addicted to any drugs, whenever I got caught I would always test negative for anything, the custody sergeant who would take my fingerprints/DNA/drug swab would say 'Sean you're the only one that comes in regular that's not on any drugs, what's going on?' I explained that I was homeless, lost my job because the company I worked for folded, and life just kicked me in the butt."

"Flirty Chez I called her, and she would always give me extra food whenever I was brought in, I just thought that was how she was, then one day she said I need a girlfriend and I shot her down, no more flirty Chez. She was shooting her shot and I rejected her without even knowing it."

hardcoresean84

Exchanges

"Much to my mom’s embarrassment, I was a serial shoplifter as a baby. At least I had the presence of mind to take off my socks and shoes and leave them scattered around the store in exchange."

UsualFrogFriendship

"I was once on a camping trip with my parents. We left the campsite for a day and when we got back our soap had been stolen from the tent. Just our soap, nothing else was taken, but we did find the shoes of the perpetrator!"

"This kid left them right at the entrance of our tent, so it was not difficult to find out who did it. When we went to get the soap back and give him back his shoes, sadly the kid threw it over a fence, so we never got it back."

ptbroeke

Influences

Breaking Bad Crying GIFGiphy

"My easily influenced mind was corrupted by TV. If it's good enough for Marie Schrader then it's good enough for me."

DavosLostFingers

TV rots your brains and decision making capabilities.

Do the opposite of your favorite characters.

End of Times

Nbc Shoplifting GIF by SuperstoreGiphy

"When I was bedridden due to Covid, I had a friend who shoplifted a whole damn box worth of medicine from different drugstores."

"I was very impressed and confused, as I didn't ask for it. Great friend though!"

pepper-blu

Criminals

"As a former loss prevention officer, most of the people I stopped were stealing to resell the items. Many people were clearly drug addicts and many people I stopped had meth and other drugs on them. Not every shoplifter is stealing to buy drugs, but a ton of them are."

"A lot of other people just stole items they wanted, and some people just have a stealing problem and would take whatever random BS they came across and thought would be easy to steal. If I ever saw someone stealing food I'd usually look the other way, but that was pretty rare to see someone taking food, it was usually clothes, electronics, makeup, or tools."

BigBudZombie

The Rush

"Addiction. And that's addiction to shoplifting, not drugs. It's a rush. Confidence grows with each success. It becomes an obsession. It brings an amount of power when stealing from giant corporations. For me, this question is similar to asking an addict why they are addicted to drugs or alcohol."

"I haven't shoplifted in three years. I attended Shoplifters Anonymous and continue to go to therapy which are both very helpful. I'm very lucky I didn't lose everything."

tacoterrarium

Self-Control

"In high school, I dated this guy who would shoplift and I got influenced to start doing it. After we broke up I kept doing it all throughout college since I was a broke college student who had no self-control. I only shoplifted from big retail stores and told myself it was 'okay.' Post college I stopped because the possible consequences as an adult and to my career were not worth it."

isatacobelle

There was no good in it

"I used to do it as a means to support my drug habit. I wouldn't call what I was doing shoplifting though. I moved the volume and high-end merchandise. Honda generators from Home Depot or Lowe's. Shopping carts full of Tide pods, and Similac baby formula. I'd hit Nordstrom during the holidays for their perfumes and colognes. COACH, Burberry for purses."

"I made a good chunk of change from it, yet I was still homeless. Most of my money went to drugs, and hotel rooms at shi**y hotels. I'm no longer like this. I reached out and went to rehab this past July. I now have 132 days clean and sober, and work an honest job. My life's boring as hell now and I love it. Even though people on the street complimented and applauded my skills."

"I was never proud of myself for any of the stealing I was doing. There was no good in it. Now I feel good about myself and can be proud of what I do. It's a nice feeling to go into a store and not have to be aware of my surroundings and not tighten up when the greeters ask for a receipt. Because now, I can happily show them one. Lol."

Crotch-Monster

Think First

Steve Austin Wrestling GIF by WWEGiphy

"I work for a 3-letter retail store in NV and we have a ton of theft. I see a lot of random products for sale on the FB marketplace. If it adds up to over $1,200 it’s grand larceny and you get arrested."

"Walmart also allows up to a certain amount to be returned with no receipt and you get cash back."

samisalwaysmad

What have we learned kids?

Theft never really pays.

Do you have any experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

job interview
Van Tay Media on Unsplash

I once burst out laughing during a job interview.

It was for an internal position so I knew all of the interviewers well, but even if I hadn't I doubt I could have kept a straight face.

What cracked me up?

This interview question:

"If I attended a backyard BBQ with your last boss, what do you think they'd say about you?"

After I stopped laughing,

I told the interviewer—who happened to be my then boss' boss:

"I'm sorry, but that sounds like a question from the Miss America Pageant."

The interview panel got a laugh out of that. And yes, I did answer the question.

So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have people gotten?

Keep reading...Show less