Adults With Step Parents Younger Than Them Reveal What It's Really Like
The "traditional family" dynamic has changed drastically over that past few centuries, and sometimes it can get a bit uncomfortable. Take it from these folks who have a step parent that is their age or younger. Awkward, or maybe not?
HotPocketPotato asks: Redditors who have a Step-Father/Mother younger than them, whats your story?
When things got a little dangerous
I found out my dad died because he stroked out while in a motel with someone younger than me. This was (to our knowledge) the third time he'd cheated in a long term relationship, and he was already married to someone 20 years younger than him. None of this really affected me because I knew he was a POS for years.
he's all over the place
The story is simply that my father is an irresponsible creep. It was just the two of us when I was growing up, but he made it clear he was resentful having to take care of me. He's in his 60s. I'm 34, my older half sister turns 40 in a few days. My youngest half brother just turned 2. I'm sure I have siblings I don't even know about. His current wife is maybe 30 and by far the oldest woman he's ever been with. He cheated on his last wife with her. His last wife was 19 when they met (I was 17). But that was better than his previous girlfriend before that, who was a few months younger than me, and I was 17. I always make sure that his baby mamma's know that I'll always be there for them and their kids when he leaves, because he's GOING to leave. It's interesting watching how surprised they are when he does.
My dad is 71. 6 months ago he left my mom for a 25 year old. I'm 33 and my sister is 28.
His new girlfriend is 6 months pregnant. They're not married because my parents divorce hasn't gone through yet, but i guess once that happens I'll have a step mom who is 8 years younger than me and a newborn half sister.
This will be my dads 3rd marriage. The first one ended because he slept with his brothers wife.
So the story here is, my dad is trashy.
When dad likes the babysitter
My parents married young, as was typical in the 60s. A decade into it he was screwing our babysitter. He eventually left our mom and married her. That only lasted a few years. Dad then played knight in shining armor to a succession of young women 'down on their luck', 'on the outs with their parents', 'raising kids on their own with no other help', etc. Same pattern over and over. Swore he wasn't screwing them but who knows. They were always about the same age - early twenties - no matter how old my dad got, or how much older we, his children, were compared to them.
When it's for the best
My mom jokes that I always dated older and she always dated younger so it was bound to happen. We actually made a pact when I was twenty that I wouldn't date anyone older than her and she promised she wouldn't date anyone younger than me.
The only really weird thing is watching our husband's interact. They are serious best friends whenever there is a family get together. If we can't find one we look for the other. There isn't a cookout or birthday party where they decide to give each other piggyback rides or cake eating contest or something silly and fun. My favorite thing is when my husband yells "You aren't my real dad, you can't tell me what to do! ". They are goofballs.
Okay, so my dad loves controlling people. He was really abusive to me growing up, I'm sure if you need any stories, just dig through my history.
He used to always go on about wanting a Chinese wife because she'd be really grateful and meek enough towards him that he wouldn't get any arguments or independent thought from her unlike an American/English wife.
Well not long after declaring the above, he met and married a 21 year old Chinese woman (he's late 50s). I was 23 at the time. The way he treats her in public is revolting, he is so condescending and talks real slow and firm like someone would to a toddler. He tells her off and calls her names.
It was so sad to see, I don't know for sure but she may have left him as, when I was last in contact with him, he never brought her with him or spoke about her.
When you don't trust her
I'm 34, my dad is 65 and he's in a relationship with someone who's 26 (so 8 years younger than me).
They've been together for 3-3,5 years and are happy together, and I'm happy for them.
At first it was a bit awkward for me, up to the point that it took me a half year before I decided to meet them together (at first I just met with my dad alone every week). I was mainly worried about my dad (still am, a bit), he came out of a long relationship that went really bad (got cheated on after 8-9 years) and he had a really rough time with it. So I was scared he would end up in the same depression if this one went bad as well (not because of cheating, but the age difference eventually could catch up to them, as an issue).
That's not how this works...
For about a year when I was 18 and my sister was 20, my 50 year old uncle started dating a 18 year old.
I will never forget when she was driving me and my cousins to a concert and she treated all of us including me like children. I at one point had to say "I've dated women older than you, please stop referring to me as a child."
is she a gold digger or something?
I'm a guy, 23. My dad is 64, was 40 when I was born, and last year he married a woman who was 22 at the time.
When your uncle is a baby
Dad is a serial monogamist. He has been married 4 times. This last wife is 5 yrs younger than me. She is 25. My dad is 52. She gave birth to my brother last year which resulted in an interesting conversation with my kids. Me showing my 6 and 5 yr olds a picture of their new uncle. Me: look guys this is your new uncle isnt he cute? Kids: thats not an uncle THATS A BABY! (caps are accurate) Smh She is young and acts like it. But its his life. It makes for weird genealogy talks with others but thats all.
When no one is happy about it
After my mom and her 2 sisters had graduated from high school, my grandparents got divorced. A few years later my grandpa married one of my aunts friends from high school. According to my mom, it was a real big deal that had a lot if people talking and pissed off. My aunts all hated her instantly, and one of them even did the ol "put sugar in the gas tank" thing. Oddly enough as it may seem, My grandpa is still married to her, and my step grandma is a pretty cool person. Everyone seems to get along now. Unfortunately my grandpa has dementia pretty bad right now, and my step grandma is pretty diligent about caring for him so I have a lot of respect for her. (My grandpa doesn't even now who she is anymore.) It's been an interesting story I suppose.
The imported marriage
I'm 27 and my stepmom is 26. My dad (54) brought her over from the Philippines and they've been married for almost 2 years now.
It was definitely different at first, though I didn't have much room to talk considering I've known a couple older gentlemen in a very biblical sense. I was most worried about my dad getting hurt or taken advantage of. They just didn't seem to have much in common other than they both like to watch 90-day fiancé.
you never know where you will find love
My dad is married to a 25 yr old waitress. I am 26. When I was 18/19. Me and my family used to go to the place she waited at and every time I would silently pray we were going to seated in her section (because I had a huge crush.) My dad would always be a dad and drop some dad jokes, waitress style. I always thought she was laughing at these jokes to be polite, turns out she thought they were genuinely funny. They got together 5 yrs ago. He still goes to the same place to eat, and she's still his waitress... the jokes are worse now though.
We need a map to follow this one
My mother is the young step-mother in this situation. My mom was my dad's third wife, and my older-half sister is only two years younger than my mom. While my parents were married, my mom and half-sister were best friends. It somehow helped that they were close in age and my half-sister liked my mom better than our dad. When they had kids at the same time, it strengthened their bond more.
Now I'm close with my niece, who is older than me. She looks more like my full-siblings than I do. My full-sister and niece look like twins.
Pizza Hut does a lot more than just serve food
My dad, my mom and my (now) stepmom all worked at Pizza Hut together. My stepmom also lived across the street from us (I was 8?) My mom and dad split up, my dad slept with my stepmom, knocked her up, got back with my mom 6 months later and knocked her up, then went back to my stepmom. This is why I have a half sister who is 6 months older than my full brother.
This girl will take anything that is available on the menu
My younger sister had a concert date set up with a guy but he called and said last second that he set up other plans. It's a small town and his dad just happened to be at the same bar as my sister and she invited his dad instead. It's been almost two years and they have a baby together now. So he flaked on her, and she made him her stepson.
That's going to cost you
How about similar age? Dad married a woman 30 years younger than him. She was barely 2 years older than my big sister. He had younger girlfriends ever since his divorce, so I never really thought it out of the ordinary. She had met him about 7 years previously when he visited her country. When they met up again, she was recently widowed from another American. When Dad married her, Immigration was ALL OVER THEM. Dad was suspiciously mute about the entire situation. I suspect she married the other guy to get citizen status and then he up and died on her leaving her status precarious. It took $1000s in lawyer fees to get them to leave them alone. We really did not think the marriage would last... it has been 25 years. He is 86 while she is 55. He is frail, with asthma, diabetes, COPD and a heart condition. She is resentful, catty and works all the time. You know that saying "You made your bed, now lie in it" ? That is how I feel
Should he be turned in?
I know a family that adopted a girl, aged in between the two biological boys. When the adopted girl turned 18ish the father ended up together with the adopted girl. I have never got a chance to talk to the older biological boy, when this all happened high school was over and everyone moved on. Always wondered exactly how he felt about the whole situation