Hosts Describe The Worst Examples Of A Guest Making Themselves At Home

You do the good-natured thing of letting someone into your home.
You allow them to eat your food, share your living space, and bathe using your water. And what do they do in return?
Stuff like the people in these stories did.
Reddit user, Mr_Yus_uwu, wanted to know what you should never be okay with a guest doing when they asked:
What was the worst thing your guest did when they took "Make yourself at home" very literally?"
It's not so much what they're asking, or what they're doing, but perhaps it's the way they've asked?
No. It's because they're performing self-cleaning procedures in the same place you eat.
Not Our Problem?
"Dinner guest asked to stay overnight because of the snow (which wasn’t forecasted until much later that night). Spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. But guest did - and at 7:30 in the morning he was freaking out because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”"
user256049
"What did you guys do after? I kind of want to know the rest lol."
need2peeat218am
"We told him that our “plow guy” gets here when he gets here (we have a looong driveway) and we have no control over that. Then I poured myself a coffee and sat on the couch."
user256049
Just...No.
"Came home, sitting in his boxers on my kitchen counter washing his feet and trimming toenails in my sink has got to take the cake."
Spamh8r
It shouldn't be that hard to be a good house guest. Someone is allowing you to stay in their home, so perhaps don't do anything you wouldn't anyone doing in your own home.
Don't Rearrange Furniture. Or Throw Away Furniture.
"My father in law was staying with us for a month, he lived in Oman. The spare room was an office with a sofa bed in so it could double up for guests. He bought a double bed and got rid of the sofa bed. I lost my office."
Equivalent_Parking_8
"What a twat! You must've been so relieved when he left. Tell me he left."
Peanut_n_oopie
"He left, then moved back in for almost a year when he retired."
Equivalent_Parking_8
Remember To Turn It Off
"I had guests turn the pool heater on in February and not turn it off or tell me it was on. I noticed steam coming off the pool a week later and it was 90*F. The bill was just under $1000."
Fickle-Willingness80
"My uncle did this once. It was fairly cold in Florida for the time of year and they were hosting a wedding party at their home and turned the heater on for the pool. The only difference to your story, however, is that it was not discovered until we came to visit and realized that the pool was uncomfortably warm, considering it was June. They noticed an increase in the bill but never put two and two together."
YouthfulPhotographer
How Do You Burn...Oh, I See
"Started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans without water."
"Edit: when I heard the fire alarm ring I ran to the kitchen to find him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth. Like phuuu phuuu. Basically stoking the flames."
"I slide the flaming cake pan into the sink and dosed it in water to put it out."
"Me, yelling at him asking wtf he was doing."
"His only defense: it woulda worked"
"No motherf-cker, it clearly wasn’t working. I realized this day he started abusing oxys and was so high he had no idea what he was doing."
"Sad story really."
tdefreest
And then there's these, the worst offenses imaginable by people you once seemed okay with allowing into your home but will most certainly never be let back in.
Simple Rule of Thumb: Don't Break Into People's Homes
"My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating; an instant ‘expert’ on Japan after a few days, when we had been living there for two years."
"Finally, finally he left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV. I thought hubby had returned early."
"Nope. It was Old Friend - thinking we had gone for the weekend, he had broken into our apartment for an extra two-night stay."
"“You weren’t supposed to be here!” he protested - and he refused to leave until my husband came back home and told Old Pal personally that he had overstayed his welcome."
Charismaticjelly
Ratting Out On Your Spouse
"My wife 3 days ago."
"Tasked with feeding her friends cat while they're away for a week."
"They said help yourself to whatever you like."
"She came home with their waffle maker."
"Pretty sure it meant she could score a couple of their Tim tams not make off with their appliances"
Mashy6012
Don't. Touch. The. Coffee. Maker.
"Rearranged my kitchen. That b-tch."
"Edit: it wasn't my mom. It was a guy I'd gone on two dates with that I left alone in my apartment for a few hours. My mistake I guess."
makin_the_frogs_gay
Just, Wow. Wow.
"The $900 phone sex bill. It was the early 90's and the bill came on paper and was about 100 pages."
"Edit: since this got a bunch of attention, I'll elaborate a bit."
"I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school and I was going to be gone half the summer. He would call while black out drunk. Other than this, he was an excellent houseguest. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it but we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000"
"The reason the bill was 100 pages was because each of the 1-900 numbers operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services, so that $900 bill was about 50 separate bills printed individually that were bundled together by my local provider."
"If I didn't pay that bill somehow they were never going to let me have a telephone again. I was able to call some of the customer service departments and get some of the bills cancelled or reduced. My house guest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player and a PlayStation and a TV"
MakesCakesEatsMud
2AM Issues
"Caught a friend of a friend masturbating into my kitchen sink at 2am."
EndlesslyUnfinished
"a few months"
"My brother's best friend came to live with us for 'a few months' because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well 8 years later and he is still there, all my parent's children have moved out but for some reason my brother's best friend is still living there."
xyz388
Damn Craig
"My ex husband had a less than savory friend. He walked into my home once, helped himself to my fridge without asking and then when he got himself some silverware, had the audacity to insult it and say it looked like something a grandmother would have. Well yes, yes it does, since it's hers and she gave it to me."
"Another time he went to my MIL's house when we told him we didn't want to hang out. We weren't even home yet! He came in, say down, ordered a pizza that he refused to share with my MIL or BIL, and just sat there watching TV for two hours until we got back from whatever we were doing. He was a grade A a**hole. F**king hate you, Craig."
pinner
Firestarter
"My relative stayed with my grandma and proceeded to burn the house to the ground by deciding to have a bon fire 3 feet from the side of the house."
lolppjoke
"Slightly related, a family members friends were staying at his place he'd inherited from a dead relative while he was in jail and they caught the place on fire making meth."
CranberryTaboo
1 damn cookie...
"One of my guest brought beer for only himself, put his feet on my dining table, and when he left he took the cookies he had brought over as a thank you gift for letting him stay 3 nights at our place because the road to his house flooded. I only had 1 damn cookie and was very annoyed by how cheap he was."
GogoYubari92
Out of H20
"An in-law took about a 28 minute shower after I explained we were in the middle of a drought and that our well was dangerously low. I’m assuming it was going to be a 30 minute shower but we ran out of water."
bandi53
"I wonder if that was intentional, I cant say why but you'd think saying 'hey my house runs on well water and an extensive shower is probably going to use the last of it up' would make any rational person put away their plans for a long shower."
jerrythecactus
You're Out!
"Literally tried to move in. Had a old friend that was in town and I offered to let her stay here for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, she said she thought she could just stay. Since she had all of her stuff and was here for over two weeks, even the cops wouldn't take her away. Had to formally evict her."
hello_ground_
Hobo What?
"Didn't leave for 6 months, ate all our cheese and wasted all our dishwasher tablets on 're-running the dishwasher bc it did a bad job' (but would run the same load like 10 times???). He was sleeping w/ my flatmate and she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realised he was a hobosexual."
"EDIT hobosexual - sleeps or dates ppl for housing. And our dishes were clean, he was lazy and couldn't do the 1 chore I gave him. He re ran out of laziness."
Few_Cup3452
Currently...
"Am I allowed to talk about my current guests? My flatmate’s friend has been here for nearly 6 days, they’ve used my food, expensive shower products, let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping, and (me being petty) looked at me like I am a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. They were supposed to leave yesterday. I’m very annoyed."
"Edit: good news lads my other flatmate said they’re gone. I can breathe easy again, the sun is shining and there will hopefully never be another screaming child in that house. I know staying 1 extra day seems not too big of a deal but there was literally nowhere in the house I could go to escape the screaming. I am very happy."
Ok-Nail2938
35 years later...
"My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota? Guess he thought it was taking too long. 35 years later I still think about that asshole sometimes and wonder wtf was he thinking? Just how could you say that to someone's grandmother you just met? He was my cousin's dorky boyfriend's friend. I was about 13 yo and appalled. My grandmother was the sweetest woman and an amazing hostess."
DiligentAdvantage475
Remember to ask if shoes are allowed in the house, compliment the chef, and don't call phone sex lines using the homeowner's phone unless you intend on reimbursing them.
And maybe not even then.
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Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"

Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Children tend to believe just about anything they hear.
That there are monsters under your bed, watching too much TV will make your head explode, and silly faces will be permanent if you make them too often.
The sky is truly the limit when it comes to silly things that children will believe.
Some call it naivitée, other's youthful innocence.
But it's hard not to look back with embarrassment on certain things we believed as a child, that today might simply seem dumb.
Redditor Disastrous_Toe_6548 was curious to learn the multitude of silly things people believed when they were children, leading them to ask:
"What's the dumbest thing you believed as a kid?"
Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
Silly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
So that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
The miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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