Exes can either be great or awful and it seems like there's no in between. But a defining moment is right after the breakup. You can really tell what an ex was truly like as a human once the breakup has happened.
u/saxj asked:
What did your ex do after breaking up with you?
Here were some of those stories.
Love Doesn't Mean This
GiphyShe moved out first, then when that didn't work, she filed for divorce. In her delusional mind, this was what she needed to do for me to prove to her that I loved her.
This was shortly after we'd been in counseling and I had pointed out that my mom always threatened my dad with divorce. He would always beg her not to leave him, which was pathetic. I said I would never do that. She set out to prove me wrong, which I didn't realize at the time, but true to my word, I didn't try to get her back, which made her mad because her plan had failed.
Later, she found out that she had filed a year too early to make me pay spousal support the rest of her life, so she tried again to get me to get back with her.
A Tale Long Past
Well first he told all my friends he broke up with me because I cheated on him (wrong, I broke up with him because he was abusive). Then he started calling me at 3am begging me to just come hang out. Then he got fired from his job and kicked out of his apprenticeship and moved back in to his parents basement. I guess me waking him up to go to work really was the only reason he went?
I hope he's doing better today. At the time I thought he was young and immature and needed some help and could grow in to a good dude. Maybe I was wrong though, hard to say since we're not in contact at all anymore.
Choo Choo All Aboard
GiphyTechnically I broke up with him, but he printed off naked photos that I'd sent to him, annotated them and posted them to my parents house addressed to them.
It was awful at the time, but now it's been a few years and a restraining order I think it's pretty hilarious - mostly for the effort he went to to annotate these horribly blown up, A4 printed early-day-smartphone quality pics.
We'd only been together 3 months, so I'm not sure why he got hit so hard by the crazy train.
Our O'erhasty Marriage
For the most part I have no idea - I know that she got engaged about 2 weeks after I did, but I found that information out by accident. When I decided to remove her toxic a** from my life I made sure to swiftly remove her from everything except for having her phone number [simply because I had some texts from her that would incriminate her and that I knew I would need in the future]. I hear from her about once per year. 2 years ago she had her family lawyer send me a letter to which I was thankful I kept those texts from her. This year she texted me almost exactly one year later with a backhanded apology for all the sh!t she did and trying to reinforce that she was a good person [she wasn't]. I simply told her she had the wrong number. That part of my life is over and I don't have any care about what she does.
The Six Hour Rule
Called me a b*tch in social studies (8th grade) when kids in the school were spreading rumors about me and later realized he was gay. A total twink and everything.
Another one had a new girlfriend SIX HOURS after I broke up with them. Had brought that girl on a date with me as a friend, paid more attention to her the whole time. Definitely had something going on with her while we were dating.
The Long Distance Challenge
Giphy(LDR) We didn't really have the best relationship, and as a result, didn't have a very great breakup either. He had begun to hardly talk to me, and was acting shady. I found out he was cheating on me with a girl who was still very obsessed over her own ex. I went with someone else that I had met around that time.
After recently returning to a game, I was informed by an old mutual friend that he and the girl he cheated on me with had apparently broke up not even a year into it because things were very rocky -- but this is coming from another person, so I don't know if it's true or not. Regardless, it's none of my business. Other than the "supposed" break-up he had with that girl, I don't know where he is or what he's up to. Hopefully, he is doing a lot better nowadays and has found the person he deserves.
Extreme Lengths
I broke up with him, and he spent a week or two calling and texting and trying to convince me to move back in. I couldn't cut off contact completely for two reasons: first, all my sh*t was still there, and second, he had emotionally and psychologically abused me for so long that I still couldn't manage to stand up to him.
Finally he realized I wasn't going to get back with him when I started blocking his calls and hanging up on him, so he showed up at my parents' house where I was staying, broke in the door, and threw me around before pretending to attempt suicide and calling 911 on himself. Cops showed up and took statements and pressed assault charges on him.
Southward Bound
This is a long one and I'm not sure if this counts but he knew I was going to break up with him from our phone conversation that day and he did it to beat me to it. I said I would like to still be friends and he started messaging me non stop for the next 3 days and got angry when I didn't reply or show immense interest in what he had to say which was ironic because one of the things I had an issue with whilst we were dating was that he never wanted to spend time together or put effort in to have conversations so this was highly unusual behaviour. The final straw was when I told him I couldn't talk to him that night because I was going to dinner and he decided to message family members to confirm that because he thought I was making stuff up to avoid talking to him. Our families are friends with each other which is important to know for later on. After I found that out I told him I wanted space and to not to contact me; he again got angry but left me alone.
I went on a weekend away with some girlfriends shortly after our last conversation and he called me the day I was leaving to 'talk about our breakup' but because I was in a shopping centre and suggested meeting up the following week to talk so we can cut all ties, he got mad and ended with him calling me a slut, liar and evil because I didn't want to talk and he thought I was going away with a guy which was not true at all. He texted my family members again and told them what he said to me on the phone and how I would never get anyone as good as him and guys would be stupid to date me and I didn't appreciate him.
Skip forward like two months and I start seeing someone and he finds out via social media. He spread rumours to my family through his family that I got fired from my job, dropped out of uni and was being physically abused by my new boyfriend. I had to show my family proof that I was still working and never got fired, still enrolled in uni and when I showed them that they knew he was just lying about everything. Whilst he was doing that he messaged my friends, and tried to convince them that I was a legitimate prostitute working in a brothel (I'm a paralegal and study law so I was quite shocked he reached that far) and tried to hook up with one of my friends which respectfully declined and blocked him.
Six months after breaking up he contacted family members again because he said he needed 'closure' and wanted to know how our relationship broke down because he was trying to be a better person. No-one wanted to get involved especially because during this my work got calls of a man asking for my personal info and one of my family members saw him in his sisters car outside my house during this but they were worried for his mental health and pressured me to respond to his message on social media, so I did. I was polite and didn't blame anyone and basically said that these are the reasons why I knew it wasn't working and you must have known too so it's all fine and a learning experience and there's nothing to talk about best wishes. He took that as an opportunity to tell me how he cheated on me through out our relationship (Lying) and asked if I was still a prostitute and that he got it from a 'credible source' that I was doing well in the prostitution industry and getting physically abused by my new boyfriend. I ended the conversation there, asked him to remove the profile picture he still had of us two as a couple on his social media pages, told my family members what happened and that is the reason why I didn't want to talk to him as I knew better. I also told them that they should tell his family to keep an eye on him as I dont think he was dealing with it well from all of his past behaviour and reblocked him.
My Heart Is Cleft In Twain
GiphyWe remained friends. Clearly still love each other. A week after we went to a show out of town together (already had tickets) and got a hotel (already bought) and we had a good time as friends until we got back to the hotel room were I sat on the bed and she pushed me down and crawled on top of me and kissed told me she missed me and still loves and part of her wants to get back together. Nothing happened we went to our separate beds and went to sleep.
Next day for most of the drive back we talked about the possibility of us getting back together. We get to her house and we continue talking as she hits me with "but there's a reason we can't, I'm falling in love with someone else and we've already had sex." I don't care about the sex. But falling in love. We were broken up for 10 f*cking days and she's already falling in love with someone else. It's been almost 3 months and it still hurts. Found he was just using her. I don't talk to her anymore. I deleted her and her friends off my social media and their numbers. I locked away the notes she gave me and the ring I gave her. I've been cheated on. I've been ghosted but that. That was the worst someone could have ever done.
Out Of The Woods
This will probably get buried but a day after he broke up with me he made this really long Facebook post about being heartbroken and insinuated I cheated. I only found out because my best friend was still friends with him on Facebook and told me about it. A few months later my ex called me and told me he had an STD (I had just been to the gynecologist the previous month and had just been tested for what he said I might have).
Fast Transitions
He facebook messaged a friend of his from grad school (who had never met me, only saw pictures of my face, and called me "pretty for a big girl") and told her to check his relationship status. Then he immediately jumped into a relationship with a subordinate at his job. I found all this out when I had a suspicion he'd been having an emotional affair before he broke it off and logged into his facebook account.
No Concept Of Cost
GiphyMy sister's boyfriend bought a second-hand car and then made sure to tell all of my sister's friend that he'd done that with the money he'd put aside to "start a family" with my sister.
It was maybe 7000€. They'd been together for 5 months.
I'm still trying to figure out if he wanted her to move into the car with him and live there, or he had other grand plans for those 7000€.
Dangling The Prize
Sent me photos of the girl he "traded me in for", then asked if I wanted to join him at a bar and sends me another photo of him with two girls on his arm.
Honestly it was the saddest thing I ever saw. Why did he have to prove to me that he was "doing better"? He dumped me for the purpose of being with these other women. He broke my heart. He told me about a week before he eventually wanted to marry me. Like what's the point of being an asshole after that? What do you even gain? I didn't even talk to him after the night he broke up with me so I hadn't instigated anything. Jeff if you're still out there, I hope your dick rots off.
Begging Ain't Cute
One locked himself in his bedroom for 2 days. (Learned that per his roommates) he was 20.
One immediately got engaged. So I am sort of assuming I was "the other woman" and just didn't know it.
And one mass fb messaged all my friends he had met begging them to talk to me and get me to take him back OR give him advice on how to get me back.
Bit Of An Escape
GiphyOne had a depressing couple months before we started talking and then entered into a secret on again off again relationship. Eventually we ended it for real and I had no idea what he did, but from what I can see now he's very happy with a long term girlfriend. They seem very happy together and I'm very happy for them!
The next one I broke up with for being an annoying clingy git. He tried to get back into my life through my friends, who didn't understand why I had ended it with him. The events he attended I just didn't go to, and eventually my friends got tired of how clingy he was, and stopped inviting him. No idea what he did after that, (all that was 8 years ago?) But he's married now, and they seem happy together, so that's good!
The one after that I also broke up with, we just weren't compatible long term. I'm not that sure what he did right after, but it wasn't long before he met his now wife. They seem really happy together, and a far better match than we were, so I'm happy for them!
It's easy to be happy for them because I'm happily married, and have a beautiful baby. My ex's were all good people, just not right for me, so the fact they all found people more compatible than me just brings me happiness.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.