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Women Share Tips On How To Leave A Lasting First Date Impression

Always make sure they remember....

Women Share Tips On How To Leave A Lasting First Date Impression

Finding love is an arduous journey. You kiss frog after frog after frog and every once in awhile a prince arrives, if you're lucky. But there are definite behaviors to adhere by when participating on a date, or really its all about being a decent human being. how simple is that?

Redditor u/What-the-jelly-beans wanted all the ladies out there to give us some dating tips about impressions by asking.... Women of Reddit: What's something that guys do on a first date that tick all the boxes?


Too Cool....

Ask questions and be genuinely interested in my answers. Don't just ask a question then wait for your own turn to answer. Genuinely be curious about my work and my life, and ask follow up questions that show you're really trying to understand. This shows that you respect me for my experiences and knowledge, not just for what I could be for you.

And be honest about what you love. Don't try to be cool. Your passion about something silly or "nerdy" IS cool. Seeing someone gush about something they're interested in is really attractive. dogheavenjanet

No surprises. 

Show up on time. Be well groomed but please god no cologne bath. Be polite. Ask questions! So many guys just blather on about themselves. Listen. Don't get distracted. Offering to pay is gracious, it's also antiquated and going dutch is fine too.

No surprises. Don't ask to go somewhere unplanned—it freaks us out and makes us think we may get murdered and put in a dumpster. Say what you're thinking! If you had a nice time or want to kiss us, say it! handleurscandal

To the Zoo....

I was on a date once where the guy surprised me by going to the zoo. When we were at the zoo he would get in front of me to open up the door but then would open it for himself and intentionally close it behind him leaving me standing there. I was so shocked and laughed so hard cause that's definitely the opposite... still make me laugh... that was one of the best dates. :) TennisBabel

Good Chat. 

Be genuinely interested in what I have to say. The key is "genuine". Like if I mention a topic I like, I don't want you to spend ten mins telling me how much you know about that thing. I want to have a proper conversation. DramasticFantastic

No Dirty Stuff....

Giphy

He does not get sexual on the first date. No perverted comments, no trying to sleep with me. Also he needs to be kind not only to me but to the waiter as well. Queen_Aurelia

Needing Space. 

Respect my autonomy. The amount of men who try to push my boundaries within minutes of meeting me is very disturbing to me. On my first date with my husband he asked if I'd like a drink and I said 'nah, it's Tuesday and I'm a lightweight' and later on he asked if I wanted to grab coffee after dinner and I said 'I had a great night, but I need to get going'. He didn't push me for a reason, he didn't buy me a drink anyway, he didn't get hurt feelings and lash out.

As a small women who is constantly picked up by guys (if you pick up women because they're small and you think it's funny then know that you suck because it's a terrible feeling), asked the same questions 20x in a row ("where do you live I'll take you home!" a guy once asked when I was out with a friend with no need for a ride home), touched or kissed, or had things bought for me that I definitely did not want it made me feel SO SAFE to meet someone who had a clear understanding of boundaries.

My husband was also super polite to staff, a great and appropriate conversationalist, and exactly the right amount of dressed up, but most men I know can do that and COMPLETELY fail at boundaries. rickybakerahah

Lost Connection.

There are a lot of reasons why a woman doesn't want a second date that has nothing to do with you. She may realize she is not ready for a new relationship. You may have done everything right and she just may not have felt a connection. Unfortunately, ghosting seems easier than being honest to some. Queen_Aurelia

"text me to let me know that you got home safe."

Giphy

Actually planning out a date, not just repeating "I dunno, whatever you wanna do is cool." Having a generally positive outlook/disposition, being kind to everyone we encounter, being funny but still polite, asking interesting and thought-provoking questions, doing gentlemanly things like opening the car door. If there is a clear connection/attraction: being confident about going in for a kiss at the end of the night, but without necessarily the expectation that it will lead to sex right away. Saying "text me to let me know that you got home safe." Obeezy_12

I Got a List. 

  • Suggests a place
  • Arrives on time or early
  • Puts effort into his appearance
  • Is attentive while I'm talking
  • Doesn't bring up exes
  • Smiles
  • Makes me laugh
  • Maintains eye contact
  • Is nice to the waitstaff
  • Doesn't check his phone
  • Waits with me until my Uber arrives scorpio-mood

Be Kind.

Giphy

Decent conversation of course, with both people asking questions about each other with genuine interest, but also- being okay with silences, and not feeling awkward when the conversation falls into a natural lull for a few moments, just picking up another topic when one comes to mind, and giving everyone a moment to catch their breath. Also, walking me to my car after gets bonus points, personally. And a "let me know when you get home safe" or something like that melts my heart. just_moss

very sexy.....

Giphy

Pay attention, no phones, no distractions. My current partner noticed the waiter bought me the wrong drink order, not bad enough for me to worry about. He calmly and kindly corrected and arranged for a replacement, no fuss, no rudeness, just made sure I got what I wanted... very sexy. Jayjayjune

Being Handled.

I went on a date once with an older guy and the waiter got both his drink and his food incorrect. I would've been annoyed and let it show a little but my date was kind both times when asking for a correction. It was quite sexy how he handled the situation. I felt almost intimidated by how smoothly he handled it. GLaDOs18

Be Refreshing. 

Being genuine. I love it when a guy on a date actually seems to be feeling me out as a friend instead of just a potential hookup. (I.e. not afraid to engage in a friendly debate, doesn't agree with everything I say) it's so refreshing. meganmcdevitt0

Grinning....

Actually listening to what I have to say. My current boyfriend and I had a 12 hour first date because neither of us could stop talking. We just clicked and allowed each other to respond and actually listened.

Also, a deadly sense of humor gets me every time. He told me a risky one liner about thirty minutes into knowing me and it paid off big time. Still haven't forgotten the grin that came along with it once I started to laugh. dardardarrr

"an associate"

Giphy

My biggest weakness is getting a meaningful convo going. It gets to be like an interview and I have yet to get anywhere with anyone because it's like talking to a coworker you'd consider "an associate" friendly, but not a friend. Maybe so far I've just had no chemistry yet? TheDragonLake

A Few Things. 

  1. Is polite to any staff
  2. Looks like they put an effort in
  3. Shows up on time
  4. Good conversation!
  5. Doesn't badmouth exes
  6. Doesn't drink too much
  7. Doesn't spend it on their phone

First ones that come to mind! ladykerbs

A guy that smiles.....

A guy that smiles, makes me laugh, seems interested in how I'm doing, flirts but isn't overly love-bombing or fake-charming, is nice to the waitstaff. I actually like if a little nervousness shows, as long as they're able to reciprocate in the conversation. LadyGuillotine

It isn't a hook up.

If you are on a date then do what you are supposed to. Be interested, show who you are and be in the moment. Don't be preoccupied with your phone, don't get hammered, and don't assume sex. If you are on a date you are giving the impression you are interested. It isn't a hook up. Pritapia01

"this fool is gonna murder me" 

Which boxes are we talking about here? The "I must immediately make this man mine and keep him forever" boxes or the "this fool is gonna murder me" boxes?

edit: I have heard the will of the people and given the boxes:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f4i8nv/women_of_reddit_whats_something_that_guys_do_on_a/fhr7yek/

The boxes are now yours. beepborpimajorp

In Your Eyes.

Giphy

Making eye contact during conversation. Not looking at his phone. bread_cats_dice

REDDIT

People Explain Which 'That Can't Happen To Me' Thing Actually Happened To Them

"Reddit user Bob_the_peasant asked: 'What 'that can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"

Life is full of shock and surprise.

Apparently, that is part of the fun.

Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?

We always think we're immune to way too many things.

Anything and everything is possible.

It's important to be ready.

Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:

"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"

I haven't been left that shocked that often.

I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.

But you never know.

I'm Dead

Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy

"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."

"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."

amanitachill

Crash Into Me

"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."

aster636

"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."

anjie59k

Hot Air

Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy

"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."

GymDoll2000

"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."

Environmental-Car481

This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.

Always have. Always will.

Tragic

Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy

"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."

Tssodie

Bad Penguin

"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."

"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."

archaeologistbarbie

All Gone

"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."

"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."

toomuchisjustenough

Good Luck

"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."

jumbospicyslimjim

"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"

frappbarqueen

Early Michael Myers

"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."

Mr_Spaghetti_Hands

Bad Landing

Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy

"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."

Competitive_Show6205

This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"

They are minions of the devil.

Person cooking in home kitchen
Conscious Design on Unsplash

We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.

From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.

Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:

"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"

Fly Spray Sandwiches

"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."

"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."

"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."

- littlehungrygiraffe

Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs

"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."

- PhoneboothLynn

A Disturbing Surprise

"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."

"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."

- MrRailton

In Need of Child Protective Services

"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."

"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."

"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."

- Alltheprettydresses

Traumatized by Raisins

"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."

- tcumber

"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."

- User2716057

You WISH That Was Vinegar

"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."

"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."

- 116843189

Poor Home Hygiene

"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."

- MinimalistHomestead

Every Surface Covered

"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."

"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."

"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"

"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."

- KnittinAndB***hin

O Holy Expiration Dates

"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."

"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"

- SundayMorningTrisha

An Immune System to Remember

"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."

"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."

"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."

"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."

- tha_stormin_mormon

Neighborly Love

"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."

"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."

"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."

"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."

"Some people need help and a little company…"

- SnooPeripherals6557

No Longer Rice

"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."

"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"

"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."

- justad**nfool

"Those cats probably used it as litter."

- Anonymanx

"Yeah, that was my fear."

- justad**nfool

Could Have Warned Her

"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."

"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."

"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."

- smoothiefruit

"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"

- whydontthissitework

Bad to the Point of Malnutrition

"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."

"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."

"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."

"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."

"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."

"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."

"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."

- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

Clean Hands

"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."

"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."

- SafewordisJohnCandy

We're left with chills after reading these stories.

Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

Keep reading...Show less